Saturday, June 11, 2016

Colonoscopy

Up well before seven, getting myself clean and making my ablutions ahead of colonoscopy this morning. Lorraine drove us to the hospital, keeping me calm. I was rather nervous but the staff very kind and put me at my ease. Was given a mild sedative, which I didn't seem to notice at the time, but made me feel woozy for the rest of the day. The main news is that things looked okay: no gut cancer which was a big relief. And one less thing to think about.

However they had a hard job as my guts seemed to be in a tangle and they kept turning me over and rearranging my stomach. While this was going on I found myself talking to the Portuguese nurse about Pessoa the poet, and Saramago, the novelist. Conversations you don't expect to be having with a garden hose poking out of your backside. I was wearing unpleasant little shorts with a bit split in the backside.

Very kind African nurse afterwards, to when she was discharging me, having given me water, tea and biscuits, gravely reminded me of the importance of farting.

Lorraine had driven me there, and lovely wife was there to collect me, drive me home and cook breakfast. Realised that I was in fact rather groggy after the sedatives they had given me this morning. I don't remember having them last time I had a colonoscopy. Spent the day recovering on the gold sofa with Lorraine watching three football games. Including an amazing England vs Russia. Huge violence before the game, and towards the end. An incredibly attacking England performance, but one goal each at the end. The violence seems to be usual English drunken loutishness, meeting organised and armed Russian thugs there for a punch up. Plus the local ultra French supporters. Horrid scenes.


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