Some useful introspection Had a bit of an "ah-ha" moment this weekend. One of the things I realised, sparked in part with conversations with Anton and Sarah, is that I have a poverty mindset. These days I have a good job and own a home but I was pretty impoverished for most of my twenties, when I was going through my penniless-poet-starving-in-a-garret routine. To this day, some part of me is afraid that my career and life will catastrophically fall to pieces and I will return to the years when I used to sweat over whether I could afford a bag of groceries. Every fear has a reason for being. And this one keeps me in work and stops me squandering money. The cost of this fear, however, is that it associates putting effort behind what I really want to do with my life with anxiety and poverty. Just like last month when I did a poetry reading, I was surprised how I associated it with being poor - as well as the deaths of one of my best friends and his wife. Once I actually did the...
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