under another sun

I got up early and went to my desk. I am not in a flow state. When I am, I can look up and realise an hour or several has evaporated. With Lorraine away, and nothing pressing to do, I have the perfect few days for writing. My focus and enthusiasm is lacking, but I went through the motions and made a small improvement to one poem.   I missed Lorraine, who is staying in Ashford and busy helping Pat and Maureen get ready for their move.  For years I was perfectly happy in my own company, but now not having Lorraine around feels weird and unnatural. I have been brainwashed. Lorraine says she spoke to the jewellers who were aghast that the stone had fallen out of her new ring that I'd bought her as a belated birthday present, and to bring it back.  I went for a longish walk this afternoon, which helped my general antsy feeling. The beautiful weather meant there were a few more people there. A large group of south asian folks near the bottom of Edinburgh road, appeared to broug...

Lorraine to Ashford. I had a writing day, and split my mass of poems into two collections. They had started off as two collections but then I merged them, but this proved overcomplicated and a mistake. Sorting this out again, has made sense of everything again. Very pleased. Also began preparing my study, as this is the next place to be decorated. Went through a folder of old tax stuff and receipts payment slips and so on. I shall look forward to burning them. Spoke to Anton, and we are very much looking forward to meeting up on Thursday, when he falls off the waggon with a few beers and a game of bones -- and he promised to make some delicious pizza too.  In the afternoon after being at my desk for several hours, a walk. Passed some trees full of magpies, so many I lost count as I got into the teens. Then along the seaside and did my 10k paces and got lots of fresh air. Lorraine home this evening, and we had a bit of a defrost it and see what it is kind of meal. All good though....

Up at seven thirty, and sent a few emails, and then pulled back the sequence of seven poems -- going back to the version before last which had a lot more life.  I caught a snatch of Antiques Roadshow on TV last night, and they briefly featured an interview with Ralph Steadman the cartoonist, talking about how he draws in ink without pencilling, and his how his ink blots and splashes adds life to his pictures. Reflecting on this this morning, it confirmed my fears that I'd over tidied. As soon as I reincorporated some of the quirks from the earlier drafts and the poems sprang back to life again. Why is it I have to keep learning the same lessons again and again.  Wrote for a few hours, before brunch. Lorraine and Maureen off shopping at Marks and Sparks and meeting Betty briefly for lunch. I sat with Pat and rewatched most of Guardians of the Galaxy , which is enormous fun. Then we started watching the second Avatar film, which was dumb as nuts. To the gym, when Maureen and Lor...

Wrote a sequence of seven interlinked poems exactly right for my new collection. Amazed and and delighted by one of those rare days when I was completely in a state of flow.  Only time will tell if what flowed out was any good, but that's a different matter. Meanwhile Lorraine up to London with Beth to see Moulin Rouge in the Piccadilly Theatre. They met Tobs briefly too, to hand over an errant jumper that had hidden behind a Seaford door, before he went off to see some of his Rabbit pals.  They loved the show, and Lorraine was listening to the show music this evening. Great news from Beth. The offer she and James have made on the house in Seaford has been accepted. It's all very exciting indeed. Lorraine very happy about this too.  I meanwhile, elated by my own brilliant day's work, also went to the gym so felt doubly good about myself.   

A somewhat miraculous morning's writing, three poems that I had not been able to finalise for literally years, fell nicely into shape. It is like suddenly finding yourself with a completed Rubrik's cube. Felt elated for at least an hour afterwards, although it is not a victory that means much to others at the moment. Into town, and I took the specs that had exploded off my face in the tube the other day back to Specsavers, and they repaired them. Then I bought a pair of gym shoes, and got more CO2 for our soda stream machine, which as I am addicted to sparkling water, saves a loads of plastic.

More walking listening with some fascination to C.S. Lewis - A Life. And more writing, and wishing I could be half the writer Lewis was. Still I'm dragging the MS into shape. Suspiciously like hard work at the moment, but my happiness with the results is forcing me forwards. Beth off to be Gloria the Hippo. Her show is going really well. Also talking to my lovely French client, wanting to know if I was early next week, however I will be in Eire, so I won't be. Typical. A quick cross channel moan about politics. Val said she has always been an optimistic person, but is struggling to see hope at the moment with a Brexit precipitated crisis in Europe, and Trump. If Le Pen gets elected in France this year, she is going back to Canada. Watching Trump's antics in his press conference today. Monsters are always just a hair away from comedy. In a parallel universe this man is hilarious. Lorraine has one more day left at school before half term. She is like a runner straining fo...

The rain rains in its own time All day banging my head against a brick wall when it came to making any serious progress. Ended up folding all my jumpers, and clearing out my linen cupboard and other non-essential stuff. Thankfully, I got my mojo back in the evening and wrote till late. There's a bit in the I Ching along the lines of the clouds are all here, but the rain rains in its own time . Writing has been so easy for me, that I must remember this.