under another sun

A bad night's sleep, but I enjoyed hearing thunder rumbling in from the Channel, and the brief downpour in the middle of the night -- the first rain of any kind for over a month. The force of it hit further East however, as the garden... It's all about the garden... Could have done with a very long downpour.   We got up early, and Seaford Head was hidden in mist. Lorraine drove off at eight to Ashford for a day of busyness with Pat and Maureen. It seems Lorraine's niece Claudia is in the UK and will be coming down to see Pat and Maureen soon. I hope we get to see her too, she is lovely. I did some recording with Robin, although by the end of the day it was clear one of the bits wasn't good enough so we will have to redo it tomorrow. Also I did some writing for a bit, but wasn't on top form due to the absence of sleep. Off to the gym at lunchtime, listening to Dr Luana Marques read her audiobook Bold Move, a 3-Step Plan to Turn Anxiety into Power -- this is based on ...

Up at two thirty in the morning having a panic attack which had started in my sleep. Once conscious I was able to get a grip, and listened to a meditation tape, but it took several hours before I actually slept again. Soon resigned myself to the fact that work was not going to end at a decent hour, so had to cancel plans to meet Robin and support Jeremy Page in his book launch. Two 10 minute breaks in the 12 hours of desk work today. Telephone call with New York where the stressed head creative invited me to write instant copy and read it immediately in a meeting with twenty people. I refused, point blank. Infuriated, I vented with pompous indignation to the London team afterwards about how we had given them clearly the best work and the strategy for their pitch, and were still treated like children. The whole red-faced don't they realise who I am  crap.  Despite this they were all very sweet and Nanda said she loves working with me. Felt an arse afterwards and apologised. Be...

A hobbit's second Monday, having worked yesterday. Already tired. Raining hard off and on, but the outdoors nevertheless a tantalising otherworld with rainbows. I love working at my desk, but only if I can get outside for long periods too. The pitches I've been working on this year beginning to blend into a kind of forever pitch. Today at least the pointless end of day two and a half hour with New York was canned. Nanda is wonderful at her job. It's rare you see someone so good at what they do. She is one of the most creative people I have ever worked with.  Nando, who I am partnered with, is a lovely man, and very easy to work with and we have benefitted from Fernanda's brilliant eye and conceptual flow. Lorraine home after a parent's evening. Eventually, when it was time to plonk on the gold sofa, realised how lucky I am that for me this job ends on Wednesday. For Lorraine it goes on and on.  This morning  a double rainbow glimpsed through my window.

Felt at an absolute nadir this morning, feeling overloaded, out of control, and with nothing but difficult conversations and stress ahead of me. Meetings for the current job, which is being run out of New York, being posted to me to fill the weekend, meaning that this week, which started with a migraine, would  stretch for ten unbroken days. I decided I whatever they said, I was going to take a day off. Luckily during the day lovely Fernanda negotiated Saturday off for the London team, a fact which made me feel a good deal better about things.   Spoke to Keith first thing too as we have been offered work as a team starting Monday which I can't take. Worried that I would lose Keith three weeks work, but luckily that agency found him another writer. My old pal Slug emailed asking about my availability too but was similarly unable to do that either.  However, the way things are working out, I am unbooked from next Thursday -- and will have time off in my birthday week. I am ...

Today had a tricky start, feeling apprehensive about the new job. Hammering rain first thing, which made me pleased I was working from home. Breakfast: a boiled egg and the a slice of the most holed chewy brown loaf I have ever seen. Sat at my desk an hour or so before the first meeting to read through the material I had been sent, at 8 o'clock the central part of my vision went to be replaced by spangles. A migraine. Luckily I sat listening to a meditation tape, and the spangling had passed ten minutes before I was to dial in. These days the headache component to my migraine is just at basic headache level, so I could press on, albeit in a wussed out enervated way. Working with Fernanda, who is a lovely Brazilian woman who I have worked with before, and some other pleasant folks. Yet another transatlantic pitch. I can't seem to escape them. Working with Fernando -- also Brazilian but based in Lisbon. Keith messaged saying last weeks agency are wondering if I would be free to w...

Lorraine off on half term. Sadly we are not spiriting off somewhere. Lorraine decompressing generally, and I worked with Robin recording and then did some podcast editing, and filled in another NDA. Lorraine playing computer games wandering in the glittering caverns of Pode or whacking eyeball monsters with swords. I went for a mooch around the misty hilltop. Much warmer this week. And I was surprised to be texted by by Fernanda, an art director turned creative director I have enjoyed working with a few times, about work starting tomorrow. Unfortunately this did not work as I was already booked for tomorrow.  Below a moody hill fort wall, and the other, less murky, side of the hill.

The day seemed to zoom past today. Got up fairly early, Lorraine having brought me a cup of tea in bed, and I wrote some bits, reworked some copy as a favour for Catherine, looked at the cover proposal for the Telltale anthology and made suggestions, was contacted by Fernanda and did a smidge extra on the work we were doing yesterday. I had plans of perhaps going into London on the weekly pass I bought, but ran out of time. Instead I went on a two hour walk down to the sea and around and about, wearing my flat cap because it was cold. Forgot to take any snaps, but it was good thinking time and I easily passed my ten thousand paces. Nice to be sucking in the sea air after being working in corporate goldfish bowl offices for three days. Holding onto my hat on the pier, which is undergoing some maintenance, and men were welding things in the strutty bits underneath over the water. Home, and cooked for the lovely Mrs Kenny, added food and judiciously added a glass of beer when she got ...

Up and off again. Last day in my three day stint. Another day in a goldfish bowl meeting room. One of the advantages of being older is that people cannot be certain that you are a person of no importance. A couple of times people came to the room, clearly wanting to turf me out, and I just gave them a Paddington stare through the glass and they thought better of it. Worked on the train to get everything sorted in time, and despite various IT pains at work (they asked me to bring my own laptop, but their guest Wifi blocks you from sending emails sometimes), started the day running around with a memory key. Spent the afternoon with Fernanda, after our first thoughts had been scorned by some suit, who insisted on replacing them with idiocies, which due to his seniority within the organisation, apparently we had to run with. I reminded myself I was only there for a few more hours. Released back into the wild by Fernanda. She is a breath of fresh air, with an original mind and a beautif...

Trying to work on the train, but it was too full, and pesky faux first was full too. Bah. Into work and working alone for most of the day in a different office a bit like goldfish bowl, which at one point I was forced out of. Fernanda busy most of the day, so did most of the work and drawing up solo. A nice walk at lunchtime, and  chance to see some light. Walked along a bit of the nearby canal, and past gasometers that had been repurposed as swanky private properties. Not much to report in the afternoon other than steady concepting.  Slow journey home. Home, and oddly desperate for a beer. Lorraine had cooked me a chicken curry which I had with the Cylons and a couple of tinnies. Sweet. Below  taken with gasometer 'industrial luxury' apartments. Each of the columns had the stamp at the bottom of them, which I rather liked.

Up with Lorraine and off to London. To St Pancras, in faux first. Heading for a tasteful modern redevelopment around the back of Kings Cross. I was early, so found the canal and on the other side of it was St Martin's. Outside were dancing fountains, which suddenly sprung up as I looked at them, catching a man cycling past. I took a snap of them, their jets undulating in waves. I had a walk at lunchtime, and bought a sandwich and ate it sitting by a jukebox in a waiting area in St Pancras. Then into the office, where Fernanda grabbed me from reception. A clean and attractive office building, very swanky if soulless. Spent the day in a meeting room looking at a grey wall coming up with ways of selling a kind of medical packaging. Nanda had to go off and fix lots of problems for most of the day, so I was left mostly to my own devices. Nice to see her though, in those times when we were together. Then off home in the evening, and home to Lorraine and eating more of the turkey pi...

Woke to the news that Ursula K LeGuin had died after a long life as a fine SF writer, whose book The Left Hand of Darkness I had enjoyed as a teenager. I read other of her books later, but The Left Hand of Darkness was interesting because the society it depicted was constructed around a different sexual cycle, where its inhabitants were gender neutral, and then chose which sex they wanted to be when they reached 'Kemmer' a point when they felt like breeding. Certain fish do things like this, so the idea was entirely plausible to me at the time. A letter from Robin with comments on Sin Cycle , which were very useful, and I was really pleased with. Was contacted about doing bits of freelance I have a cheeky three days pencilled in next week working with Fernanda at her new agency, and the folks in Paddington wrote to check my general availability over the next few months. I cooked bean jar today. Smells of beany goodness drifting through the house. Lorraine said she thought i...

So tired this afternoon I could hardly think. Suddenly given some work to do with a chatty friendly art director called Trevor. Managed to summon an idea in the afternoon, but it was like pulling hen's teeth. Luckily my stock was high as the agency finally got news that the pitch I'd worked on with Fernanda for them had succeeded. Much cheer in the agency at this, and a glass of champers at the end of the day and a few drinks before I made my excuses. I seem to be on an impressive pitch-winning streak at the moment. Home and early to bed.

A sigh of relief again this morning. Lorraine and I driving to the station. Kissed Lorraine goodbye in the car, a cup of tea from  The Daily Grind  and onto the train. This morning there was no need to work, instead I played Patience on my laptop, and listened to Villette, which I finally finished on the way home in the evening.  The final chapters were extraordinarily good, however, and it is a fine book well deserving of its reputation. But I had to be in certain moods to read it, and not a book you can just dip into very easily. In fact it took me longer to complete than any book I can think of. Pleased I stuck to my guns though. A strange day of work. Still very tired, but worked hard for the first few hours, then the afternoon there was nothing much to be done. Went to a pub called The Boot briefly with a few folks, including Sarah who is just about to go on maternity leave. Chatted to Karam too. The boot empty and like going back in time to an old fashioned London...

Feeling really rough this morning, aching body, very tired and sore throated but dragged myself out of bed. Lorraine gave me a lift to the station, only to find the usual train chaos, now exacerbated by flooding from unusually heavy thunderstorms. My train, when it came, was standing room only. By then I had realised I was feeling too unwell to stand all the way to London. The next train was delayed by half an hour. Had a bit of a crisis of indecision on the platform. It is no good for a freelancer to be sick. But by then I was feeling so ill I simply dragged back up the hill and spent the day on the sofa feeling feverish and unwell. But doing some lines and sending them off to Fernanda, and talking to my lovely Parisienne clients who briefed me on the work I must do over the weekend.

Up and into London again, happy that the end of the week had been reached. Not having to take my laptop into work, was a boon. Instead read High Windows by Philip Larkin again on the train. After reading Jorie Graham the American poet over the last few days, it is lovely to read something that is a sheer pleasure. Fernanda, with whom I was working this week, having root canal work this morning. But we presented our work in the afternoon and this went well enough. Nice to work with her and Slug again. Stayed at my desk all day, not least because rain was hosing down enthusiastically outside. Successfully met Beth on the train home, with a nice little girl called Aisha who she had been chaperoning to a London audition. Beth and I then taxied from Brighton station, waiting in the long queue and observing a man in a bird suit, perhaps on a stag weekend, venturing into the miserable stair-rod rain. Fantastic to be at home, and Lorraine had made some diet turkey burgers. Early to bed, ver...