under another sun

Now able to stand vertically for up to twenty minutes at a go. And walk about a bit with very few outbreaks of Tourettes. My shark mentality means if progress, even tiny progress, is being made I am happy. Standstill quickly leaves me suffocating and despondent. Although I learn only certain sharks needing to move to breathe. I did see photos of sharks dozing in cave once. But whale sharks, great whites and makos, for example, would die if they stopped.   Watching Lorraine hefting things about in the houses was difficult, and she kept telling me off for trying to help. The bedroom is looking straighter now, and I was able to help in small ways. Makes me very happy to see Lorraine cheerfully thinking about stuff in the house.  Mum off with Mason to the Waggon and Horses. Mason had got huffy with someone there, and for a while felt like boycotting the place. Luckily this seems to have passed, and they off to meet Robert. Meanwhile Anton has returned from a brief sojourn in Spain...

I could only lie in one position all night, and slept fitfully. It took me half an hour of yelping and screaming with Lorraine helping me before I could get out of bed and stand up. Easily the worst back pain I've ever had. Luckily Maureen's three wheeled walker, proved a boon once I was out of bed. But the day a bit grim and weirdly exhausting and not able to do much of anything, not even writing. Amanda, who has almost finished painting our bedroom and en suite, very kindly brought a TENS machine in for me, which sends small electrical prickles into your back to block the pain. Interesting feeling, and I think it did work or at least distracted me. I however was able to sleep for a while this afternoon on the sofa, and able to scramble up afterwards on my own.   Lorraine fabulous, and basically did everything while I sat about whimpering. Why my gorgeous wife doesn't simply press a pillow over my face in the middle of the night, I'll never know.  

So a chirpy start to the day, having made a few decisions overnight about various writerly businesses. Lorraine off this morning in her gym clothes to a doctor's appointment, and then off to her personal trainer and to spend some time with Sarah in Bolney.  I meanwhile, got to work relishing the idea of a writing day, and felt in the mood to make great strides. I broke off some rather lofty contemplations, to clean the cat litter tray as the cats were moaning. We have this in the main bathroom at the moment, and after I manfully changed the befouled litter, and washed the tray in the bath and mopped the floor, I was just adding the last few lumps of litter in and my bastard back went into a vile spasm right across my lower back. As I stood clutching the bannister, Amanda came out from decorating. I was able to move for a while, and I always think continuing to move a good thing. I spoke to Mum later in the day. Otherwise I kept a low profile as my back was becoming increasingly uns...

Lying in bed with Lorraine making plans about the day. Up and moving the carpet in one of the rooms to prepare for the boiler being replaced. I lifted up the sideboard so we could move the carpet.   My back gave very painfully. Swore repeatedly and with feeling. Lorraine slapped an ice pack on it. I kept moving, and we went into the garden and did a few small jobs and felt okay and got lulled into a false sense of security. But once I sat down everything began to seize painfully -- just like when I did it last summer. Gah. Football a cheering diversion. Manchester United, who have been nowhere near their best have been showing green shoots of a strong recovery. They went to Liverpool, their greatest rivals and themselves having a difficult season, and were spanked a record 7-0. I know it is wrong of me but you'd have to have a heart of stone not to have texted Anton about it and to be gladdened by Match of the Day 2. Spoke to Mum today. She has sourced a car, and the driving instru...

Just doing up the laces of my Vans shoes this morning, and my back went into spasm. I yelped and swore, a performance Lorraine slept peacefully through. Cats moaning at me to feed them, and I had to use a pair of kitchen tongs to lower Brian's food onto the floor, which Beth and Lorraine laughed at. Beth off this morning to work in Southend. She is enjoying her events job. With a twinged back I did desk-based stuff, and threw away loads of paper, and created a huge wedge of confidential waste. The job that was supposed to start on Monday seems to have vaporised.  Bob called me, he is a bit sad as his daughter Millie is heading off to University soon. She is going to Cardiff to study English. Thinking, I have twinged my back like this lots of times and usually you can walk it off, I loped over to The Batty hunched over like Igor Frankenstein's assistant. Back not good. Anton saying this was the last drink we would have together both being Brighton residents. We popped into The E...

In a bit of pain today, with a bad backache that also transfers significant pain into my head too.  I had a bit of a doze this afternoon, however, helped loosen things up.   A stroll around Blaker's park at lunch. Was briefly ambushed by anxiety as I ambled along, luckily I have the skills to ward off panic attacks these days, but I needed a minute to collect myself. Walked past the collection of little huts there which turn out to be a new Covid Testing site.    Did bits and pieces to do with the podcast, and I uploaded the Charlotte episode this afternoon . Robin and I fairly pleased with the way it had turned out. Also emailing Rhona over in British Columbia, who I will interview next week.  Sainsbury's delivery, Kevin too our vegetable guy delivered. Also a Christmas card from Sarah and Louise and Zach arrived having been lost in a postal Bermuda Triangle. In the first world problems section, I ordered a new diary from Mokeskine on 30 December. After harassi...

Felt utterly rubbish this morning as I walked to Shadric's studio office. As I turned off London Road onto Tongdean Avenue, the road narrows under the railway bridge. A woman was made to fall off her bike by a car. I was too busy looking around me and being creeped out by listening to The Exorcist to notice what had happened. Voluble swearing from the bicycle woman, and the car that was involved also driven by a young woman. It all blew over though and nobody was hurt thankfully. I arrived at Shadric's studio running with sweat, with a headache, achyness, painful throat and generally exhausted. Typical. Cancelled a few cheeky beers with Anton scheduled for tonight. Slipped out at lunchtime to buy a pack of paracetamols at the shops in Eldred Avenue. Also bought a vegetarian sausage roll made with kidney beans, tiny cafe there, with four people having an awkward business meeting, with one bloke being incredibly self important about the subject of signage. Nice chatting wit...

Worked in the morning from home this morning, getting a flying start on the work I'd picked up yesterday. A few distractions. A letter from a solicitor that I could not make head nor tail of. I phoned to explain I had a degree in philosophy, and worked as a writer but could not understand what their letter was trying to get at. Turned out it was something to do with not choosing to act as an executor. I hate language that's sole purpose is to obscure meaning. I bite my thumb at them. The designer I met yesterday, who rejoices in the name of Shadric Toop, picked me up in his car at lunch time, and drove us to near the Withdean stadium to work in his studio office.  I had studio envy. It is a lovely place. He works on the top floor, and there is a pottery wheel, and pots in various stages of completion. Upstairs he has desks and a view out onto trees of his mother's garden. He's a nice guy and from all the work here and there in his studio a good designer. His mother is...

A terrible night's sleep, and Lorraine having a badly upset stomach in the night. The day spent with Lorraine, John and I getting the front room ready for Cass who is coming to paint the walls. Shudder-inducing to put things in boxes, as if we were moving house again. Managed too to tweak my back abominably too. For it is a PK tradition to have some kind of a spinal gripe in January. Lorraine and I decided to buy some furniture today too, a table and chairs and a small sideboard. We are going to have our front room looking spiffy soon. Quick Facetime chats with Mum and Mas, who I interrupted watching Montealbano on the iPad, and with the Tobster for he and Romy now back from Japan, and have thankfully not experienced the kind of turbulence that afflicted an Air Canada flight from China. Girding his loins for the great return to work. Can't say I am suffused with enthusiasm right now, but it will come. Lorraine, in contrast, getting stuff sorted for her first day at the new ...

Lorraine working from home today, so she did not have to drive around the county, but instead got down to her work. Had lunch with her, which is always good. Laughing about the card we received from Lynn & Malcolm of a person springing out of a wardrobe. All kinds of correspondence to attend to for some reason. Then off for a long walk in the afternoon, just because I could. A few errands in town such as buying light-bulbs, and then down briefly to the darkening sea where I saw the new moon through in a gap in the clouds. All is well. I seem to be gripped by this stupid superstition of trying not to first see the new moon through glass. I was just feeling happy to have been able to do a walk of over 10k paces, and get some fresh air. Then back inland a hundred yards to the chiropractors who got cracking in all kinds of ways. Home again, brandishing a bar of chocolate for Lorraine who had been working writing wretched reports all day. Beth, who was in this evening, Lorraine...

Lorraine and I working from home today. My brain working a little better than it has been this week, so busily trying to get on with things. Sent of a manuscript today, first of the year. Still hampered by pain-induced insomnia. To Kemptown late this afternoon to the back cracker's office. Although my back perhaps ten percent better, how much of that can be ascribed to the chiropractor, pleasant as she is, is hard to say. A pleasant evening however. In the evening Lorraine and I walked down to The Shahi  for the first time this year where we met Beth and John and enjoyed a nice curry and a couple of beers. A celebratory end to the week. Back home to watch a film on TV, The Grand Budapest Hotel, but I fell asleep and had to slope off to bed.

Another dreadful night. Sometime after 4 at the end of my tether and being skewered with what is the worst back pain I've ever experienced, I swore and punched the bed. Unfortunately this frightened Lorraine awake and I felt like the worst kind of serial killer. Again due to the pain I ended up only being able to sleep on the sofa, wedging myself into a weird position around 5am. Lorraine late up because her mobile phone ran out of juice between the alarm ring and the snooze ring. I sprang from the sofa before 8 as a man called Luke from Rentokil arrived. I had to herd the cats into a safe room then leave the house repairing to the cafe around the corner to work on my laptop. Except my specs were in the now biohazard house. Nothing for it but to eat a diet busting large breakfast, while listening to three men competitively bragging about their holidays and the heroic  scuba dives, fishing trips etc. they'd all done on them. Luckily got a Doctor's appointment and given s...

Not quite the flying start I wanted, being more like the Wright Brothers than a jet plane. I was in constant pain all night and wide awake despite taking two sleeping pills. It was only at sometime after four did I drift off having wedged myself into a corner of the gold sofa. Nights are hell at the moment. Lorraine and Beth off early. Beth pausing for me to snap some shots of her for an extras application. I started work at 8 but had to slump for a half an hour at ten, but felt much better for it. The rest of the day was productive making large mindmaps of all the things that are to be done, and slowly beginning to catch up on my backlog of correspondence. It feels like I have been away for two months. Luckily I have a reading in the Poetry Cafe on Wednesday, which offers a bit of focus to this first week, and emails with Robin. In the afternoon off to see Janet, for a chat. Ken sleeping in his room. Poor Ken has had much to contend with in the last year and most of it unpleasant,...

Last day before real life starts again. Unable to sleep, got up 2.30 and spent an hour or more in the kitchen drinking chamomile tea with an icepack on my back. Back to bed and fell asleep some time after 4. Spent the day explaining to Lorraine and Beth how much pain I was in (a great deal) much to their delight. We took down the Christmas decorations, always a slightly melancholy moment, but then found and ate the Finnish chocolate Laura and Derek sent us that had fallen down the side of the sofa. An unusual treat, full of ginger flavour and dried fruit. Also we hung a few more paintings about the place, making it seem increasingly homey. Lorraine buzzing about purposefully before the work starts again. Chatted with Janet, and will pop in to see her and Ken tomorrow on the way to another back appointment. Watched Last Tango in Halifax , which is beautifully acted and written. And so the festivities drew to a close. The diet starts tomorrow, and Betty says she is stopping smoking...

Grey misty rain in Brighton today. I walked out to get bread this morning, passing a father and his young son mooching along symbolically with a spent Christmas tree, although someone in Choice Cuts was buying a goose. Woke up late, having had another poor sleep. In desperation I arranged a chiropractor appointment in Kemptown. Saw a very thorough back cracker called Amy who and said I had damaged and inflamed the gap between two vertebrae in my upper back, and did lots of stretching, adjusting, and even some kind of treatment with a laser, and said it would take some time to settle down. Unfortunately lying down, in any configuration, is still excruciating but I felt she had at least released some of the pain and made my neck freer. Lorraine and I drove off to Hove in search of bolts and screws. Lorraine later assembled the spare bed, with only some last-minute screwdriver work needed from me.  We also went to Sainsburys and settled in for a pleasant evening watching movies on...

An incredibly poor night's sleep. Something wrong with my back which caused a ring of pain around my chest and referred pain down my left arm. L and I had to conduct a triage in the middle of the night to make sure it wasn't actually a heart attack. She loves living with a hypochondriac. Woke up in the morning having had a ragged sleep, and getting out of bed my back clicked and the problem was miraculously better. Worked steadily on the book all day, and then in the afternoon took myself for a brisk walk in the park for an hour or so. With the back business, I did not go to the gym today, but have downloaded a step counting app a few days ago so I can ensure I walk at least 10,000 steps every day as a minimum. Lorraine singing in the choir tonight. In the evening called on Anton and we walked about town and had a couple of drinks and mulled over the world. He'd had a difficult weekend with the bairns, including the delights of Klaudia getting a nasty spewing bug, while...

Pain and reward A day of two halves. The first part rather grim as my upper back has gone into one of its paroxysms which involves very bad pain in my arm and shoulder, which no painkiller touches. That and my six maddening mosquito bites did for my concentration. Instead I went to the gym just to do the treadmill and cross trainer for half an hour, as sitting typing is excruciating. On returning home phoned Sainsbury's to complain having seen an elderly lady of perhaps 90 being disgracefully bullied by two of the checkout staff for creaking along with her trolley in a basket zone. Thinking about this on the way home made my blood boil so I called and made my feelings clear. In the evening however, things very good indeed. Had a long chat with Catriona in Guernsey and will have the opportunity to do a final presentation to the arts guys next month. Apparently everyone excited by the proposal, which combines literary flair with business acumen, even though I say it myself. Catriona ...