under another sun

From time to time ambushed by sadness about Calliope. Lots of nice messages from people about Calliope, including from Romy just before bed last night. Had that sort of emotional tiredness today, just shattered this afternoon.  Otherwise a pleasant indoorsy sort of day, although Lorraine and I walked to Morrisons after having a quick scoot about the market. A bit disappointing. A bit niche, a stand of dog bones and chews.  Nice to see Beth this evening for a few minutes. In the evening, Lorraine and I assembled two Christmas trees and decorated them and this was nice and festive. White lights for the one in the dining room, and colours for the living room. Also Lorraine doing lots of cooking in preparation for Catherine, Tanya, Guy and Tim coming around tomorrow.  Otherwise I wanted to hide really, and watched Frasier, and Match of the Day this evening.  

Calliope died today. She had continued to be very unwell and Lorraine and I decided she should go back to the vet. I had to go into Brighton by car with Adele and Jane. Lorraine kindly took Calliope to the vet, because I couldn't really face this, and then called me. We took the decision to put her down. Lorraine called me to confirm this was okay this just as Adele's car reached Brighton.   Met the glassmates in a Thai restaurant very close to the Pavilion Gardens. Ben, Rick, Sally, Frances and Kate met us there. Felt a bit unreal, although nice to see them. Lorraine called me after an hour or so and said she had been with Calliope when it was done, and she had been sedated first and fell immediately to sleep before the injection was given.  Relieved that the meal was over. I jumped on a 12 bus, sit at the front upstairs and let the tears flow. In a way I was prepared a bit for this, as I was convinced she was dying a couple of weeks ago, but I am heartbroken.   In the e...

A very poor night's sleep. I had woken up from a light doze in the middle of the night in tears certain that Calliope had died. Lorraine got up and checked, but she was okay. First thing in the morning she seemed fine. Our plan was to drive up to see Mum, but then she began to be distressed again, and we decided to take her, and pay through the nose, for the emergency vet.  Brian and Calliope's emergencies have both happened on a Sunday, which is a bit vexing. Lorraine drove us to Eastbourne a lovely drive, to a pleasant vets surgery. Calliope clearly unwell, as she had no strength for the usual car howling. She gave her an anti-inflammatory injection, saying the symptoms sounded like feline cystitis. She also examined her and poked her bladder and so on, all of which Calliope took philosophically though she did hiss when the rectal thermometer was inserted. Home again and she brightened up a bit over the day. The vet says old cats rarely get cystitis unless there is a cancer p...

I did some good writing on the Kenniad this morning after Lorraine off to sort things out at Churchill Square -- but did not have to leave incredibly early. She popped round to Pat and Maureens and then I went to Morrisons and met Lorraine in the underground carpark. Home and ate the first mince pies of the season with a cup of tea. Well into the Anglo-Saxons: A History of the Beginnings of England , by Marc Morris. This is really good. The Vikings were unspeakable, and it took forever for the Anglo Saxons to work out how to counter their hit and run raids.  Something horrible as we went to bed. Spots of blood where Calliope had been, and she was behaving erratically and bleeding from her rear end. Went to bed feeling very worried about her.

A sore throated weekend, feeling wan and deeply attracted to the gold sofa. Luckily the European Nations cup finals had started, and so I was able to simply able to watch football most of the day.  Sunday, a lovely text to start the day from Beth wishing me happy stepladders (aka stepfather's) day.   I was still wan and sore throated but simply got on with light stuff in the garden with Lorraine, potting seedlings and deadheading roses and filling a feeder pool for our fishpond to see if it is leaking and so on.  We spent an hours tidying up the house and we went to Morrisons. Then Lorraine went off to help Beth, and I had more gold sofa action with England unconvincingly winning their opening game against Serbia while tucking into roast chicken and assorted veggies I'd sorted out, in a cheesy sauce Lorraine made.  Spoke to the Tobster, whose birthday it is tomorrow. He is spinning many plates, finishing up the school year, which is in itself stressful, while having ...

Awake at sixish, luckily went back to sleep at seven thirty, and didn't get up to make tea till nine. Got up properly some time after ten, and called Mum, who is expecting Jana today, and made a late breakfast. Calliope off at noon to get more thyroid medication from her new vet at the just opened Seafront clinic, just five minutes walk away, though Lorraine drove us. Calliope only had a chance for a few experimental howls, before we arrived. In fact we were back home inside twenty five minutes. Far less stressful than for me and Calliope driving her to and from Patcham. Her weight is good, and she seems healthy, she was relaxed in the vet's office mooching about the room, and scorning the little treats the vet gave her after he'd weighed her, listened to her heart and so on.   Home and I had a slightly galling hour of failing to put a screw into the wall. First, finding the drill in the garage, hidden in a bag under some wood. Then after selecting the right drill bit, rawl...

A relaxed day. Got up late, having written a long note to Brad, and had brunch, spoke to Mum, then made off with Lorraine to the supermarket. Felt fun to be doing something so normal together. Home and I fell into watching Chelsea versus Leicester in the FA cup quarter final which was on BBC 1. Chelsea were 2-0 up at half time, then after the worst own goal I have ever seen,  the team had a collective nervous breakdown, and allowed Leicester to draw level. Raheem Stirling, who I like greatly, had a terrible game and was being booed by the crowd. Somehow Chelsea contrived to win 4-2, but unconvincingly. A stressful watch. They play Manchester City in the semifinal, and will be slaughtered on this form. Mum went out to have some wine with neighbours tonight, and I spoke to Toby, who'd had a stressful week establishing the apartment in Washington. Lorraine and I watched lots of cheery TV and forked down roast chicken and lots of veggies. A happy evening. Below, underneath my new desk ...

Feeling free and happy. No podcast to make, no freelance to be done so at last I had a morning doing poet stuff, such as writing a cover letter, and printing and mailing a pamphlet length MS in the post office, which felt pleasingly old skool.  Lorraine off to a story telling class this morning, and read books with her special upside down reading skills to small children. She enjoyed it lots.  A lunchtime interlude of cat flap struggles. We had it installed at great expense of glass cutting, yesterday. To discover today, the flap isn't working properly. We need to program it to recognise the chips in our cats, and so stuffed an increasingly irritated Calliope through the flap a few times, but the mechanism didn't work. Currently the cats can get in and out but with no locking. The cats reluctant to use it. Brian, when pushed out looked pleadingly at us through the glass door rather than using the flap a few feet away.  I went off to post the MS off and go to the gym, and ...

Awake before dawn, and pulled the curtains to see the dawn over a grey and Lorraine-less Seaford.  A shower, and breakfast with sleepy cats. A bit tired and wan. Spoke to Lorraine this morning.  First order of the day was a bit of Santa business. Brian called around with the costume, which I put on at home, and then we drove across Seaford to his house, nobody we passed even noticed Santa was sat in the passenger seat. At Brian's a three year old Jude and baby Sebastian with their mum Annabelle and Yvonne. I found it quite easy to get back into Santa mode, and enjoyed myself immensely. Brian had a list that Jude had written containing two items, a dinosaur and a train. I clarified if the dinosaur was a toy dinosaur otherwise it would be hard to get down the chimney and liberally deployed the ho-ho-hos and Santa banter and the whole thing ended in a certain amount of comedy dancing. Yvonne handed me a glass of port, with a straw, and I sipped it through my nylon beard. Then sli...

Calliope sleeping on or around me all night.  Lorraine and I up early and eating our healthy seeds, berries, nuts and live yogurt etc. for breakfast with glee. Lorraine off to the doctor's first thing. Then to her personal trainer. I lurked at home, catching up on this blog and gradually getting my act together, Calliope insisting on sitting on my lap all the time. In the afternoon Lorraine and I took Brian who had a poorly paw off to Top Cats in Patcham. Another drive in teeming rain. He had a painful sore claw that was digging into his pad, and becoming infected. We came away with his paws sorted out, nails removed (with some blood) and antibiotics and painkillers to administer. A nice vet called Henry. I am always amazed at how a good vet can handle an animal without them freaking out. Brian was already much perkier by the time we got home. And it wasn't as eyewateringly expensive as we had feared.  Had my reading in Lewes confirmed for Thursday 11th January,  in the J...

Up early and trying to get started on some writing, hoping to send poems off for various deadlines.  I failed completely despite my best efforts, with lots of interruptions this morning.  A walk in the afternoon, however, made me feel less frustrated. The sea is therapy.   Calliope, who had a nasty turn yesterday, constantly with me, sleeping on my desk. I am worried about her. My back, however, is still slowly improving. Lorraine went off to see Pat and Maureen taking Pat for a blood test, and going to the garden centre for lunch. She returned late, but safely. The weather is making things unpredictable. Only able to read and watch the unrelenting horror in Gaza and Israel now and then. So much disgusting blood lust. Such an impossibly complicated geopolitical situation. 

Raining most of the day. A good chat with Mum this morning. Lorraine and I were due to go out tonight, but our friends cancelled through illness first thing. We were happy pottering about together, me painting the bathroom cupboard in the garage while Lorraine tidied the space up, and we removed another from the study wall. I cooked this evening.  Very worried about Calliope, who was walking back into the kitchen from outside, then stopped and howled horribly just outside the back door. She has done this once before. I brought her in, and she was panting and distressed. I thought she might die. However, she slept most of the evening, and seemed improved. Last time she did this, she was fine shortly after. But it upset me.

Up early because Amanda the painting and decorating lady was here today to paint our front room.  Meanwhile I did a couple of hours editing on the podcast interview with Ian McMillan before I sent it towards Robin's ears this afternoon.  Then off shopping with Lorraine in Seaford, buying some green candles to go in our red dining room, and a present for Penny and then going to the fabric shop with the long suffering Gold Sofa seat covers and arranging to have them refilled, at a fairly hefty cost -- but nothing compared to a new sofa.  I love my gold sofa. Then to walk by the sea, extremely hot for October, apart from it signalling the end of the world, it was rather lovely.   Then the supermarket. This new Zoe way of eating is weird, you don't get hungry but I find myself instead getting hangry and snappy if I haven't eaten. We got home at three and devoured smoked mackerel.   Later Lorraine cooked a veggie lasagne, which included Kenny Farm harvests. We h...

Up and writing fairly early this morning. Lorraine up too, to get ready to go off to her personal trainer. I wrote more of my short story, Kansas . Enjoying writing it a good deal, and it necessitation the learning of some of the history of Kansas, as well as dipping back into Lyrical Ballads by Coleridge and Wordsworth. Broke off to have a cuppa with Keith. and we discussed how the agency world is quite quiet right now, which of course suits me. Then more writing. Lorraine back, having been worked hard. She went to the shower, I meanwhile began to hear a seagull kerfuffle, and discovered two seagulls polishing off what remained of the cat food in our kitchen. These fiends I shooed out -- they left fairly reluctantly I must say. Later, when Lorraine and I were taking Calliope to the Top Cats at Patcham, they protested at their banishment by shitting on the garden furniture.    We had lunch and discussed decorators, and then did a meditation session.  And gave Calliope a ...

A beautiful Sunday, with a Spitfire blue sky. We simply spent doing light gardening, including some watering then sprawling about on our garden furniture. Just lovely to be relaxing in the sun, and it genuinely felt as if we were on holiday. Talked to Mum and Mas. Several times today we saw a Spitfire, sometimes with an accompanying light aircraft which I think is filming it, do a Victory roll over the cliffs. There is a business nearby ( this one I think ) where people can be flown alongside a Spitfire above the white cliffs, and take all the photographs and film you want. On one occasion I saw there were two Spitfires and a light aircraft. The sound of the aircraft's Merlin engine is so distinct it alerts you to look up. Calliope rushed a seagull at one point but luckily for her, didn't catch it.    A few random snaps of the back garden.  One looking back at the house from over the raised beds, the summer house with Calliope, and a shot into the glasshouse, with Lorrain...

A less arduous day. Upper body feeling like I had been doing a big workout. I spend several hours preparing for my next Planet Poetry interview this morning and emailing my questions off. Beth and James came around separately. While I was working Beth arrived, and she started making a Sunday roast for Lorraine, as an early birthday present. James meanwhile had cycled to Eastbourne and then back here.  I called Mum this morning, while she was talking to me puffs of smoke were emerging from Ben's house. Turned out he was having a small garden fire.  Happy afternoon, sitting in the garden and sipping some wine and eating roast pork and chatting with James about the aerodynamic qualities of his bike, and about Napoli where he and Beth are going soon. I am liking James lots these days. To my surprise, Beth brought me a late Christmas present, which was a picture of a cat in an Elizabethan ruff and top. The cat looked very familiar, but it was only when Lorraine told me that it was ...

A day of industry and sunshine. Lorraine and I hard at work in the garden again today. We had taken delivery of a cast aluminium garden table and six chairs. We had to bolt the legs on and so on. Very sturdy and nice, and the chairs are very comfortable. Sat there having cups of tea in the sun, and ate lunch on it too. Then in the afternoon we did a bit of rearranging of rocks in our rocky bit. Then we deployed the circular saw Lorraine ordered recently, and working together I sawed lots of sleepers in half to make the short ends of the beds. I enjoyed doing it too, which is weird. If on my own, I am not sure I would have felt confident enough to do a job like that. But one of the excellent things about Lorraine, who was busy measuring and using the set square to draw lines, and hefting sleepers with me, is that she makes it all possible somehow. Finished late afternoon, just as the rain came again. As a footnote to the joyful garden, there is creature, a wood pigeons perhaps, or s...

Up early to do some writing, but immediately put off my stroke by Calliope. She had not moved from the bed and instead of being woken by her, she stayed silent and did not move. She also did not come down for breakfast, instead of herding me downstairs. For the second time in the last week or so, suddenly convinced she was going to die. However, after an hour or so she came into my study, and sat on my lap and looked bright as a button, before falling immediately asleep on me. I spoke to Lorraine and we thought the trip to the vets would be too stressful for her, as she wasn't in any distress. After having been out from noon till seven, she seemed completely fine this evening, and her and Brian greeted me on arrival as normal. The mysteries of cats.  Otherwise, off to Kew to get my teeth looked at. I have had to cancel my last two appointments. To make sure I got there on time, I left early. I had a dream journey -- all trains where they should be on the way up, and I found myself ...

A slow start for us, and we had a roast chicken lunch with Pat and Maureen. Loraine and I went for a walk around the cemetery and the Rec, and then home to sort out packing and ferret about in the boxes and bags for a few things to take on our cheeky escape to Greece. An idea that still doesn't seem at all really yet. Chatting with Mum while we were doing so.  Calliope and Brian seem to have settled in fairly well, and have found favourite places to curl up and are brave enough now to nip into the back garden for walks. I am very happy that Maureen and Pat will be looking after them. Those cats both love sitting on Maureen.  Pat and Maureen couldn't have been kinder in giving us and our felines shelter till we move into our new house.  Lorraine and I packing groggily. To bed early, with the daunting prospect of being up really early tomorrow.   A nondescript path through cherry trees that aren't flowering on the edge of the cemetery. The only photo of the day.

Woke up a little bleary after arriving at Gatwick not long before midnight. Sam had waited up for us and it was nice to see him, all tanned from his holiday.  Up naturally early as we are still on Greek time, two hours ahead of the UK.  Pat and Maureen are here, having stayed for the two weeks to enjoy being in Brighton, and looking after the cats. Sam taking great care of them, and took them to the pier with Beth while we were away.  A few work and podcast matters to get on with, getting in touch with Keith and an agency pal to indicate readiness for work pencilled in, and with Robin about podcast matters.  At lunchtime we drove to Eastbourne with Pat and Maureen. Maureen wanted to do some shopping in C&H fabrics, and we each had a pot of tea and a scone in the C&H cafe. Lorraine and I also bought a fish jigsaw. Maureen, who I had spent a good deal of time joking with, quite ribald over my misshapen scone.  I saw them into their train at Eastbourne, and...