under another sun

Up and breakfasted early, leaving Lorraine in bed and was collected by Brian who drove us off to Friston Forest. A lovely walk, the going soft and puddly, and the chat excellent. Brian stopping and making me look at things, like the colour of leaves under the beech trees. Marley the dog zooming about happily. Then back to Brian and Yvonne's house for a cuppa and to try on their Santa clothes. They want me to go around next week while their grandchildren are there and BE Santa. A man with my years of Santa experience couldn't really say no.  Then I walked home. A beautiful clear day, and not raining which was rather miraculous. Lorraine off at lunchtime to see Laura, and meet her baby Layla, and then on to hang out with Beth, and help her get her flat ready for the buyers who are coming around again tomorrow. I simply did some bits of work, billing and so on but wasn't in the mood to apply myself to anything.  I made off to meet Steve and his dutch pal Mike again, for a few ...

So a bit of writing first thing, polishing up an old story A little quiet time  for republication and doing some podcast bits. Then off, just before lunch, with Lorraine to her school, and preparing for a day of Santa banter. Feeling a little nervous to be honest, before I started getting into the red clothes in Lorraine's office, while Lorraine was busy running around being a busy headteacher in the time of a pandemic. This time I had  an immense nylon beard with elastic hoops to put around your ears. Lorraine then pinned my green facemask onto it, with authentic plague chic.  Usual ontological debate about whether Santa exists or not, which I simply refute by being there. Also the how do you get everywhere on Christmas eve? questions. (Answer: with great difficulty).  One kid called out ' haven't you been arrested ?' when I walked into one class, which threw me. The older ones have to be approached with a degree of knowingness. They are happy to play along, but as...

Manacled to my desk doing French work all day, about encouraging cat owners to vaccinate their cats. My own cat Calliope of course doing everything in her power to interfere.  Perhaps she is an anti-vaxer like Sonia who is convinced that the vaccine is more harmful than Covid, and spent some time kindly warning me against it. She means well. Finished on the dot at four, having started before the sparrows were up, and Lorraine collected me and we went to Gladrags for the now traditional sourcing of Santa gear. Not many Santas this year so I had my pick, including a swirly Santa cape, and buckled boots with red flames on them. I look forward to meeting the pony with antlers when I go into Lorraine's school next week.  Home and off to red chillies to pick up a takeaway. They all know Lorraine when she phones, and call hello Peter cheerily when I arrive. Rather nice.  Enjoyable evening, sitting on the gold sofa eating curry. I am worried about drinking. I had three cans of be...

Rain and greyness today, and getting a bit nippy. A stressed and tired Lorraine working from home this morning, Dawn came by to put some sealant underneath the doors in our bedroom. Carl phoned, telling me about Ellie starting her new business selling prints of her music star pencil drawings. Anton called, saying his meeting had been hideous, several people very far apart in a room all wearing facemasks, making it difficult to hear anyone. Lorraine back into work. I spent the much of the morning working on the branding for the new podcast, none of which was liked by Robin. Then worked on a new scene in Invisible Grace. A short walk, then painted the second coat on the bathroom walls, and did some more writing.  Lorraine back home and after being fed with salmon and stir fry went straight into a virtual governors meeting. Among other discussions,  it was been agreed that I will reprise my Santa role this year, but just calling out to them from a distance, and with my mask on --...

Off to Bolney today, for the second time this week, this time for my annual stint as Santa. Lay in bed with Lorraine hastily googling the names of Santa's reindeer, which came in handy later when I had to indulge in Santa banter. Noticed signs outside, and that Santa charges £2.50 for the privilege of being seen. Lorraine running around as the Christmas Fair set up in the school hall, after a bit of sitting quietly in her office reading Intersectionality by Patricia Hill Collins and Sirma Bilge, I stole upstairs and changed into my gear. I only had a teeshirt and boxers on but the boots, hat trousers and jacket, belt, lined Santa cape, beard and so on were utterly sweltering. Led out by Heather the elf as in previous years, and deployed the bell to deafen people, and bellowed my ho-ho-hos and Merry Christmases in a slightly Brian Blessed style. I always feel slightly apprehensive beforehand, as if I am about to go on stage, but enjoy talking to the children a great deal. A size...

Up fairly early, made Lorraine a bacon and egg sandwich and tea and took it to her in bed. But today was all about the Christmas Fayre in Lorraine's school hall, and we drove off reaching there just after noon. We had the bag of Santa gear with us, as I was the Santa in the Grotto. I sat in Lorraine's office working on the end of my new horror short story. Then the time came for me to change into the gear. I had a big swirling Santa cape, another Santa jacket worn back to front underneath it, some rather skinny felt trousers, and two brown boots, a size too small, and a Santa hat. A bit of ho-ho-hoing and Merry Christmasing  about the school while ringing the school bell, before settling into my grotto. By then the felt trousers had already split along the seams in several places, and that my boxers shorts were simply hanging out of the front. Luckily I could deploy the long cloak over my lap to prevent anything appalling reaching the newspapers. Then I spent the next our ...

Up and off to Bolney today. Once I was up and had a cup of coffee, I felt utterly brain dead and could hardly think for a while. Tiredness coming in waves, like it does with jet lag. Lorraine's school having its Christmas fair to raise money for the school, so lots of people setting up stands and parents and children zooming about. My part was to be Santa. I arrived early with Lorraine and then lurked in Lorraine's office, before changing into my Santa outfit. The clothes not too bad, but the beard, which had been bought separately was wild in a nylon way, with a odd rictus for a mouth. I was led by two elves around the school, ringing the school bell ho-ho-ho-ing it up, and then I was led to my grotto, and sat there for a couple of hours chatting to children in the character of Santa. This went remarkably well, and for the most part the children were chatty, one or two were dumbstruck by the large red apparition, but all went well. A couple of ontological debates around th...

Santastic A spot of Santa action this morning at Tumble Tots in Hove. Off to Hove with Anna and my God son Oskar in the car, listening to the Shoe Babies tape. Struggled in the side room into Santa Garb (which I'm pleased to report was fairly roomy) but opted not to don the random Pirate boots. Big ham that I am, I loved it. I found myself grinning underneath my false beard as I waved at all the kids. I think the children enjoyed it almost as much as me, though were one or two who were a deeply dubious about the red-clad Brian Blessed tribute act. But it was a rather polished ho-ho-hoing performance even if I say so myself. I asked the toddlers if they had been good, and sat about watching them tumbling about over their equipment and their mats, from the comfort of my throne in the corner. Then handed presents out to them. Some of the children creeping forwards as if Santa were some kind of wild animal in a cage. A big bell ringing exit, with instructions to leave mince pies out fo...

Gripping the mince pie Friday... So that would be when the work comes in then. Actually not bad work, and clearly briefed, and it didn't break my holiday mood too much. Among other things, I wrote four little case study monologues: two men with erection problems, and a man and a woman with glaucoma. Ye Gods. Broke off after lunch of miso soup (a packet job but organic, and with no poisonous MSG) to climb up the hill so Anna could tell me what I needed to do in my forthcoming role as Santa, and to give her an overdue birthday present. I have been practicing my "ho-ho-ho" (not something you could get away with in - say - Brooklyn) and have opted for mellow and rich as opposed to booming. I don't want to create a team of little Santaphobics, who will begin to loathe Christmas, drop out of school, and end up assassinating Archduke Franz Ferdinand or something just because of a Wrong Santa. It's a responsibility. My Godchildren Klaudia and Oskar both spontaneousl...

Ho-ho-ho So having sent copy off for the website at 10:30 this morning, after an appalling 5:30am wake up call by the kitten, suddenly I was free from thinking about terminal ailments, blindness and sexual dysfunction for hours on end, which was nice. Waiting now for a round of hogsite revisions, but the most arduous part is over. Instead my thoughts turned to things of a festive nature. Later in the day Anna sent me a text asking me to be Santa for Oskar's "tumble tots" group next week. I'm sure I can ho-ho-ho it up with the best of them, so I readily agreed. I decorated the Christmas tree, which made Calliope literally go mad with excitement, and tear about in the branches, attacking baubles, tinsel, branches and me with with gusto and impartiality. She got so carried away and fighty that I had to ban her. In protest she hared out into the Twitten into the path of a concerned cat lover, who promptly phoned my number which is on her tag. I opened my door and they wer...