under another sun

Another Lorraineless day. Maureen stable in hospital but Lorraine there to join all the dots. It meant I could simply go to my desk early, and think about my poetry MS. Also cooked loaf that had been in the airing cupboard overnight.  Decided to go off to the gym, but when I arrived there, the emergency alarms were all going. The receptionist let me in anyway, but as the alarms did not stop, and eventually the building was cleared, and we hung about outside I decided to cut my losses and go for a longish walk instead. I began exploring some of the paths climbing up Seaford Head. Because of my reluctance to go where there is no cover, I must thread up near trees and so on. Stupid anxiety makes me feel weird in wide exposed spaces, especially on the tops of hills. So I have to learn how to climb Seaford Head my own way. But I did eventually get to the top, but immediately began scrambled down again. I was comforted by the fact there is a golf course there, because it reminded me of t...

Keith and I briefed on an international job this afternoon, after spending the morning reading up about a whole new disease area. The brief an hour and a half victory for quantity over quality, but the demand is for 'big ideas'. Spoke to Mark Dawson, and old pal I've not heard from for years today. He was in Brighton and hoping to catch up for coffee. I had to bump him because of work unfortunately. Went for a long walk before work this morning. Misty up on the hill. Took some snaps, including one of a white flag against the misty background which I played about with later. The other one the real colours more or less. 

A poor night's sleep, lying awake feeling worried about several things at once. Listening to the news this morning did not help: warring Russians, out of control global warming. The idiocy and malevolence of humanity is astonishing.    Read this from Carole Cadwalladr  saying that this invasion was a continuation of the First Great Information War the Kremlin has been waging over facebook etc for the last eight years. You only have to look at the proven Russian interference in Brexit and the election of Trump and so on to see that. They have successfully sown bitter division among their opponents, and contributed to the almost complete erosion of truth in the world.  Up early with a story in my head, however, and I wrote down the opening 500 words so as not to forget it.  It was the Poetry Business deadline for sending in a poetry collection, but this is exactly at the wrong moment in terms of where I am with my work. I tried to fudge it but after several hours,...

Fleeting sense of freedom on Monday morning, quickly dispelled by talking to Keith about work stuff, and sending off timesheets, emails, and then once home at lunchtime, I had received a note from mes amis in Paris, asking me to do a job for them, so I started thinking about that.    I left my computer doing its thing, and told Sam I was walking off into the wilderness. Then off on a walk, while chatting to Lorraine who was driving to school after popping into the Hospital to have a heart tracer put on her for 24 hours.  Below the top three are walking around the western side of the hillfort ring which if you follow the ring enough, you end up looking south to the channel, a snap into the allotment areas. Just love that lilac and orange, and a dog.

A peaceful, black and white skies kind of day. Hillfort again, despite tiredness. Great skies today, which when you exaggerate the darkness look well moody guv'nor.  Otherwise editing my interview with Ashanti, and writing poetry. I completed a poem about Glen, my friend who died two years ago.  Peacefully indoors with Lorraine this evening. Sam up travelling off to Scotland today to see Jade, and arriving safely. 

A determinedly productive day, wrote lots of stuff for the planet poetry website, as my creative juices weren't flowing abundantly. Went for a walk in up and around the hill fort. Nice to be there, and feeling quite free again. Noticing the first autumnal tawnies and reds singing out of the undergrowth. Took some snaps. Glowing black and white, and a magpie, the second one just out of shot.

Felt a good deal brighter, and not exhausted when I woke up. A domestic day, where I made my first bean jar for some time. Felt great to be able to boil my beans, chop my onions and carrot, and add a few herbs from the garden to add to the parsley I had bought yesterday, and then have the bean jar, from Moulin Huet pottery, which they don't make any more, filling the place with a lovely aroma of slow cooking shin beef, haricot and butter beans, herbs and onions. Sam tried some too, carefully picking out the bits of meat. As they ate it, Sam and Lorraine kept discussing what the bean jar was a bit like, rather than focusing on the timeless glory of the bean jar itself. On the scale of my bean jars, this one was slightly above average, but not stellar. In the afternoon, Lorraine and I drove up to the hill fort to scope out the foraging, and we ended up picking almost a kilo of berries. I had brought two left handed gardening gloves (you need your picking hand naked as God intended) a...

Up early, and working with Keith. Much better morning today, and we got our act together well enough to have everything ready for lunch.  Had a chat with Mason at lunchtime, whose birthday it is today. They were off to the Waggon to celebrate.  Lorraine home today, and so she and Sam dealt with the drains man who came with his poo poker to probe at one of the drains the gutter runs into which had become partially blocked by a black plastic bag that had been left under the decking nearby. Not a complicated job apparently. All well.  Back to work: Keith camping this afternoon, and so I flew solo on the transatlantic presentation. Felt unusually nervous about my bit, and had to sit through an hour of other people presentations before mine. However I got through it unscathed, and they seemed fairly positive after I had presented. Nothing to do then, but wait for feedback, which I knew wouldn't come to the evening as the US are behind us in time. Felt drained and stressed afte...

A walk about on the Hillfort this evening, for the first time in a good while. Beautiful, and full of flowers. Including this oddity, which much later I identified as a rose gall, or Robin's pincushion made by a gall wasp. Scenes from the northern side of the hill fort.

Lorraine lying in a bit, not having to go to school. I had to get up and start work at 7.00am with my German pals, and work for ten and a half hours.  Somewhat end of tetherish today, and the Teutonic tentacles keep dragging you back into a mire of goalpost moving. Still, mustn't grumble, eh? And they are all very likeable. When not working, walking. Having decided I don't know the names of the wildflowers, I am now obsessed.  I was bent over some white flowers, and a randomly passing bloke said ' common yarrow '.  I then used an app I downloaded, which is useless in the field as it were. Simpler just to take photos and then work it all out later. Wild flowers are my official new craze, although I am feeling a tad resentful that everything I am finding seems to be common .  Bloody exhausted this evening, and reasonably cheerful in the knowledge that I don't have to get up with the sparrows tomorrow, even though I have to work in the afternoon again. Below. The white...

Up early and working at 7:30 on the German stuff,  and was done by midday.  Spent the afternoon half expecting feedback, but at the end of the day I simply received a couple of notes of thanks. The whole thing had gone very well, which was a confidence booster. I have been booked for the next two weeks too, so I am at last beginning to feel properly solvent again. I billed my French amis too and did some editing on the Rishi interview. Also reading Hélène Cixous, who I greatly admire and is one of those writers that fires ideas in my head even if I am not sure I am completely understanding her.  Still nothing from NatWest whose uselessness will I hope be repaid in hard cash once they get around to dealing with the complaint.  I went for a walk a little before noon, up to Hollingbury Hill which was misty and mysterious. It briefly reminded me of that chapter in Lord of the Rings, Fog on the Barrow Downs -- a strand of Gothic horror completely omitted from the films....

Last day on the job with Keith, or so we thought till the 5pm meeting where it became clear there was more to do tomorrow. So another half day tomorrow morning, but I will of course be paid for it so all good. For some reason I found this a bit irritating, as I was hoping to have a full day tomorrow to get down to some of my own stuff.  I was able to go for a longer lunchtime walk up to the hill for and it was pouring and very windy. Returned home soaked through my Berghaus and had to have a hot shower before starting work again. Felt good to have done it. Lorraine having a difficult day again and arrived home shattered. Spoke to Mum briefly this evening, who was cheery. A quick snap in the rain, not that the rain is visible, inside the ring of the hill fort.  

Dreaming about owning some kind of moped last night, and was delighted with the novel idea that it could take me places. The dream was set in London and several years ago. I showed it to a dream Michel, and the French Bloke was surprisingly impressed with it.   Lorraine back to work. But started working on poetry and toying with the idea for a new short story which flowed nicely. The wind slightly taken out of my sails with a rejection of Diabolus in Musica from The Fiction Desk, who I was trying out as they publish ghost stories and wanted fiction about music. I was a bit dubious about them before I sent it, and despite receiving the friendliest of generic rejections, I shan't be submitting to them again. Visited Charlotte's blog again , and she has a link to a wonderful talk by Brené Brown called The Power of Vulnerability .  Vulnerability is not something to be avoided. When I interviewed her she said she was trying to write from a place of honesty. This of course exposes y...

Pressed on with poems -- the new one about Hollingbury Hillfort good I think, and may be the sort of poem you can enter into a competition -- and editing of episode 2 of the podcast. Took down the masking tape and touched up a few bits of the bathroom and made good, also went for a long walk.  cleared my study of the mountain of DIY stuff that had been in there. Made a cheeky stir fry with grilled salmon this evening, Lorraine home early but then into a long zoom meeting.  I sat in my study armchair and read more of All My Yesterdays , by Steve Howe. He comes across as egotistical, meticulous, and private. There is precious little insight into, or appreciation of, other musicians he played with. A few veiled mention of squabbles. However I did learn that my boyhood hero Chris Squire struggled with alcoholism, which saddened me. When Lorraine emerged we watched another unchallenging and vaguely comforting episode of Death In Paradise .  Views on my stroll today up and arou...

Started writing a poem about something, which quickly morphed into a poem about Hollingbury Hillfort, the pandemic and so on. It arrived almost completely formed and has promise. Had a meeting with Robin, and pressed ahead and rerecorded some bits. I worked out how to use Audacity to remove the worst of an irritating whine from the interview I recorded with Pascale. We are going to go live soon.  Painted the ceiling again in the bathroom. Spoke to Mum this evening, who had been to have a MRI checkup, the MRI machine is now in the car park and she was pleased she have her coat on as all the doors and windows of the hut were wide open. She had taken the tube there, for the first time in months, and she said it was okay as it wasn't busy, although there were people without masks. When not writing or editing or painting I mooched about looking with new eyes at the Hillfort today. The top photo is of a little rise in the land, which apparently is where the original fort wall was. I read...

Another chat with Pat and produced some more ideas to round out the concepts Keith and I had come up with. Also painted the ceiling of the bathroom. Still a tad patchy, so will have to repeat yet again. Infernal thing. Also reworked a poem.  Otherwise walked up to Hollingbury, and a couple of turns around Blakers Park listening to lectures on Mesopotamia, which I am finding a little confusing but nevertheless absorbing. The history of that region seems less clear cut than Egypt. John Lennon would have been 80 today. He was shot in 1980, when I was at University. I am not too affected by celebrity deaths as a rule, but his death and Bob Marley's death six months later, certainly registered with me. Lennon was certainly an interesting character. I think McCartney was more musical, but Lennon's creativity was more restless and interesting I think. They were great together. Lorraine pleased to be home. I rustled up some grub and we had a pleasant evening, with Lorraine and I  unwi...

Pleasantly busy. Up early reading a new brief from my pals in Paris, then prepping for a recording with Robin this morning, which we finished at 11:30. A text from Pat asking about my availability next week too, which was welcome. Off then for an early saunter over Hollingbury Hill.  Went into some woods I have only been in a couple of times, and snapped some burnt out car parts that had been dragged in there. I know where there are some others. I might take soon. Reached my 10k paces. All afternoon on a job for my pals in Paris about cat vaccinations, then a quick coat of mould-resistant paint on the ceiling of the bathroom, and started cooking when Lorraine returned home. She brought with her a thank you note from one of the parents, with two face mask gifts. Her son Dexter, is a Skelton Yawngrave fan, and chose a day of the dead themed pattern for me.  Below the field I saw the falcon over the other day. Down in the woods at the bottom of this pic, is the wreckage. On my w...