under another sun

Cold nights, and beautiful sunny days. Wrote this morning, and having one of those days when I am feeling very positive about Gordon Road. Also sent off for Mason's death certificate, now finally available after the inquest, which took almost a year to get around to conducting. The registrar sent me a link for this after I wrote to them.  You have to pay for them: £12.50. Spoke to Mum this morning while I was finalising this. World news continues to be unutterably horrible, and I feel very pessimistic. The likelihood of Russia invading Europe, China invading Taiwan and Trump doing yet more evil seem more likely by the day. I am consciously reducing my news consumption, rather like I did at the beginning of Covid. Doomscrolling only makes you feel utterly impotent.   To the gym at lunchtime, where I pushed myself a bit. Walking home I was phoned by the doctor's office saying they needed to tweak my blood pressure pills as my latest readings were still high. This made me feel an...

Up and finalising my questions for my next interview which took a lot of work and thinking. I sent them off to Danez Smith's publishers with the link to chat on Thursday. Was pleased to get this finished, as the preparation on this interview has taken ages, and I still feel a bit underprepared. Spoke to Mum this morning as it would have been Mason's ninetieth birthday and he came to my mind several times during the day.  In the afternoon off with Lorraine to Stratheden Court, took some of Pat and Maureen's things and did a spot of cleaning, although the flat had been left clean and in excellent condition. Then to Morrisons, which was crowded but with a shortage of checkout people, which Lorraine talked to a manager who shrugged it off and said there were no people. Home and Lorraine cooked up a lovely mild chicken curry. A quiet night for me, though Lorraine off at book club. We are off to Ashford tomorrow to oversee the movers and pick up a few bits.    Below another vi...

Time at my desk writing, and doing a bit of self promotional parping about Snow  and the Scottish publications in the Roots publication, and in Driech Magazine. Looks like my author  copies of Snow will be delivered shortly, which would be exciting. Adele suggested that Gallery Uno might take some copies.  Mum went on her own to collect Mason's ashes today. Apparently they were heavier than she thought, carrying them on the bus. We will sort out together about getting them shipped or conveyed to the US to be with Brad. I am going up to be with her on Thursday. In the afternoon Rosie visited. Poor Rosie still dealing with the untimely death of her mum Susan, and is very sad. We had lunch, and then Rosie and Lorraine chatted for quite a while before going off to visit Betty. I was going to go for a walk, but the ghastly weather was at it again with heavy rain. Instead after I read more of The Loney , on the gold sofa. A great read on a dour day. I cooked this evening, and ...

Up early and making coffee. Chatting over breakfast with Mum, avocado on toast, then we set about some chores. I called the funeral directors to double check they had Mason's ashes as I'd previously agreed. But  Paula, who works there, had forgotten. If I'd made this trip solely to pick up the ashes I would have been fairly cross about this, and so now we won't be able to collect them till the first week of April. However, Mum and I did some other stuff like buying a new carpet washer online, and setting a date for Mason's mobility equipment to be collected, and we took some of Mason's old clothes down to a Barnardos charity shop in Edgware. Mum had done well this week sorting some admin out.  Then we drove to the Waggon & Horses for an early lunch. It was a bit empty, but I enjoyed the chicken shish and the Guinness. Mum is doing okay, but of course greatly misses Mason being around.  Fond farewells with Mum there, and I walked back to Elstree station, and ...

I woke up early and got up and made coffee. Mum and I sat drinking coffee, and talking about yesterday. She is very pleased with how things went, and we are both pleased Mason had a fitting send off. Something like this takes a long time to sink in properly. I took a cup of coffee up for Lorraine, and soon we all had breakfast together. Lorraine left for Seaford and the cats, who had been confined to the kitchen for a couple of days, being fed and medicined by Beth and James. She got home with wonderful swiftness, driving on clear roads on a sunny day.  Mum had a very upset stomach this morning, I think as a consequence of yesterday's emotion and so on. Soon after se had improved enough to be able to bus off with me to Burnt Oak and pay the balance to the Funeral Directors. We arranged that I shall collect the ashes at the end of next week. We went back to Edgware, Mum went to the pharmacy, and was again treated wonderfully by the two ladies there. After looking at some of the opti...

The day of the funeral. Breakfast with Mam and Lorraine, followed by what seemed like lots of nervous waiting. Lorraine had accidentally left my black shoes at home, so I wore my tan ones, and took one of Mason's ties, a grey with a touch of gold. Otherwise I wore black and white and grey. Mum and Lorraine in dark colours.  Mum's friend Margaret arrived, and then Mum's friends Monika and Ocktay, who had offered to drive us all to the crematorium.  I sat in the front with Ocktay, who I'd never met before, but seemed an interesting and thoughtful man. He drove us to Golders Green Crematorium, where we found the right waiting room, a little room with black and white photos of the crematorium in it which Monika said she liked. People began arriving. Lots of neighbours, Ben dressed smartly all in black, Wynford, Maheena and Satish represented by her son and daughter, neighbours Emma, Gail and Annie, Steve and Paul from The Waggon and Horses, even Eileen and Sarah from next d...

Up and feeling freer this morning. Most things crossed of the list of things that must be done. Mum chose another piece of music for the funeral and I emailed the choices to the celebrant. We went into Edgware and mum paid her credit card bill which she does in person. Into the Broadway centre. Mum spoke to the pharmacist, and told them about Mason. The pharmacist was sympathetic and kind, and said she had just begun to make up Mason's prescription. She knew who Mason was even though Mum had not said his name, because they had been going there for years.  I looked briefly at some wrong shoes and we popped into Sainsbury's where I bought a few bits for dinner tonight. Walking back from the bus stop met Nick, a neighbour a few doors away. He was originally from the US too. There was a mobile coffee waggon parked up in his drive, which when his son, I think, was backing it in, looked like a trailer for a small pony. Very friendly and nice man. I sat with Mum as she called one of t...

Slept fitfully on the sofa last night. Not had enough sleep lately. While we were waiting for news from the Coroner I took to cleaning. I cleaned the floor, and the fridge and the cupboard under the sink and so on. Also hoovered upstairs, and cleaned parts of Mason's study. Mum stripped Mason's bed and put on new bedding for me to use. Mum of course still struggling to come to terms with what's going on. It's such a change in her life. I'm trying to support her as best I can. I feel waves of sadness for her.   Mum called by a woman from the coroners who followed up with emails. She sent us a Coroner's Certificate of the Fact of Death, aka an Interim Death Certificate. What you can do with this is was unclear from the letter. The fact he died alone at home, mum having popped out to the shops, means that there will have to be an inquest and a Death Certificate will be issued at some point in the future. In the evening Mum and I drank more wine and sat by the fire ...

Awake and up at seven, somewhat hungover. The doorbell was somehow shorting, and there was a smell of burnt plastic permeating the house. Brian miaowing plaintively from the Dining room, how he got there a mystery. Luckily he had not fouled the room. Seagulls were ransacking a bag of rubbish outside the back of the house and had had already distributed a bins worth of waste across the garden. Blearily tidied the kitchen and garden, and took breakfast up for Lorraine and then had a hobbits second snooze and we began planning to go to Eastbourne to see Nick and Robin perform in a concert. Then the landline rang, and Mum told me that Mason had died. He had fallen over in the kitchen when she had popped out for some shopping. I felt distinctly shocked. Lorraine helped me pack and drove us up to Edgware. Spoke to Toby and mum several times in the car as the paramedics, and the police came. Neighbours such as Ben, and  Maheena and her husband, and when we arrived Wynford and his wife wer...

A difficult day. Up early and working early. Through a tiny gap in the curtain, the circle of the sun projected onto my bed where I had been sleeping.  Stressed by my glacial progress, I felt I was already late delivering the job, which was one of those despicable mixes of extremely complicated plus very boring.  Eventually I was able to send something off to them at the end of the day after being thrown off course a bit by Mum, who contacted me at noon to say that Mason had been in hospital since Monday morning. Mason had fallen over a couple of times, and Mum had to call an ambulance. It seems he has got the nasty chest virus that Mum had, and this had weakened him. The hospital were supposed to be phoning her, and she wanted to visit but didn't know what ward he was on, but she didn't want to use the phone. We spoke on FaceTime and then I called the hospital and spoke to some helpful folks in his ward. Mum was able to visit, and I spoke to the physiotherapist a couple of ti...

Felt like a back to school day, and Lorraine hard at work doing unspeakable work. I spent the morning doing various bits of preparations for interviews, and also chatted to Val in France who gave me a new wee job. Then, after a light avocado-based lunch, I walked over to Anton's house in the sunshine. Anton on the scaffolding at the front of his house, showed me the scene of the fire, a nasty charred hole on a window frame, which all things considered was a good deal better than the alternative. I went to the back of the house where Oskar was working and nipped up the scaffolding and began painting the window at the top of the house. Ten minutes into this job it was raining hard, and so we simply had to come on. Anton resigned to the ire of the gods. Poor guy has had little luck. He blamed both me and Oskar for the weather however. Spoke to Mum, Mason not too well today with an upset stomach. I walked back home in the rain, grateful for a bit of a stroll at least. At 7 o'...

Up early but feeling a wee bit jaded after an evening out with Anton. Enjoyed looking out of my window this morning at the mist coming down from the downs, and looking down on the backs of gulls. I wrote to Tracey first thing, but then managed to turn to day into one of those were I manage to drive myself a bit mad, feeling an urgent need to get on with stuff, coupled with an equal and opposite inability to focus, or find any inspiration. Everything I worked on, I made worse. Gah. A kind of frustrating standstill. I enjoyed walking across to Hove to see Janet and Ken, and drink tea and share a couple of brownies. Ken was looking a bit brighter than when I had last seen him. There was a bus there when I left, so I simply jumped on it and returned, and found myself more able to work productively late on than I had all day. Mason kept in hospital, though is not too ill, and was dressed and ready to go when Mum arrived to visit him. Luckily, she persuaded him to stay. A quiet night i...

I'd slept quite well, and woke up feeling that the weight of tiredness is abating a bit. I made Mas and I some tea, I ate some toast. Mason has soup for breakfast these days, but only fancied a banana to go as a side dish with his various pills. Quite a long chat this morning, and I left when one of his carers arrived, who seemed a nice. I walked to Mill Hill station, and trained slowly down to Preston Park, from where I walked home. On the journey I read again all the poems gathered by Sarah for the anthology. Home, and I made time for a bit of admin, including billing DDB which was nice as I sent them quite a hefty invoice. I have not yet been paid for what I did in October though, so wolf drool is beginning to splash the door. Off next to Lewes, to meet Sarah and Robin at the entirely sensible venue choice of the Lewes Arms. Really nice to see them both, and discuss the work with them over a slow pint, and how best the poems would fit. We were in the side room, where a woman...

A late start today, Lorraine and I finding it hard to get out of bed. Looking at deciding what needs to be done in the bedrooms we have just had painted. But not for long, as I had to start getting ready to travel up to Edgware. Lorraine dropped me off Brighton Station and the journey took a bit under three hours. Arrived at around 5:45 and I phoned for some Chinese food, which Mas and I scarfed happily, then watched a Spiderman movie that was on TV, Mas chatting about life in Hollywood for a while, and how all the actors who played bad guys, such as Ernest Borgnine who we happened to see as he was channel surfing, were friendly when encountered in coffee shops. To bed, early-ish after speaking to a tired Lorraine, who had been working on school stuff all afternoon. Below, Blackfriars Station.

Spent the morning refining my mind maps, designed to give me an overview of what I need to sort out. I also spent some time poring over the writers and artists yearbook for children, going through publisher by publisher. The vast majority of publishers won't take unsolicited manuscripts, which is why having an agent, a hunt I have already embarked on, is the way to go. Spoke to Mum who was worried about Mason. He seems to have had a bad reaction to a new prescription, and was quite unwell and out of it yesterday and only a little improved today. I went for a long walk and ended up in the park, and selected a bench looking at the wildflowers planted in the park for a bit of a meditation, as my head was full of monkey mind chatter about peanuts etc. I sat down, composed myself and it immediately began raining. I noticed another man meditating on a bench near me, but he was made of sterner stuff continuing in the rain with a peaceful look on his face. I went into the café, and d...

So lovely to wake up in our own bed, even if it was to the selfish promptings of Brian and Calliope. Staggered downstairs, to feed the cats and make tea and lurch back. Rosie and Innis who had stayed the night shot off early. Innis with a copywriting job. Lorraine and I pottered about and getting unpacked. In the afternoon, we walked over to see Anton's house and had a barbecue. Anton in good health, and says he is feeling lots better. He has been eating incredibly healthily vegetables and fruit in abundance, and grains and other things his former self would have sneered at, and feel full of springiness. He has also been walking steadily more each day. His doctors suggested he have a glass of red wine every day too, one of the few instructions (along with a square of dark chocolate) that he really liked.  The new drinking is a glass of wine, and a bottle of sparkling water. I followed this model, having drunk my fill and more lately. Good to see him looking so well though. Toda...

Lorraine working at home this morning. Me too, but with little accomplishment I phoned home this morning, and had a ten minute chat with Mason, who sounded better than I've heard him for a while. Sonia here today, so kissed her Merry Christmas and made off into town to do Christmas shopping, and found things remarkably easy to find. Feeling calm and balanced. Even the shops seeming fine and not over-frenzied. There seems plenty of time this week, and simply coming home when the process grew onerous. Bought a few pressies for folks and picked up some stuff from the post office using Lorraine's driving license. Walked home. Lorraine finally finishing work for the year. Quite a moment, and to celebrate we  polished off a bottle of wine, and watched  Fleabag . A lovely little series, with its roots firmly in theatre.

I definitely have a chest infection.  Beth sick, so we biffed our rehearsal. I went for a longer walk this morning, hacking as I went, while waiting for briefs to come in. Returned wan and wussy and fancying a lie down. Read more of Gilgamesh. Work came through at lunchtime though, and naturally it was all urgent. Worked till six. Spoke to Mum twice today. Romy it seems tore a retina last week, and has had laser treatment. Hope she's okay. Toby was with her. Strange how Helen had this last week too. Yikes. Then Mum phoned later to say that Mason has a date for his triple bypass now which is now scheduled for the 22nd of November. They went out to the Chinese restaurant to celebrate. Cooked tonight for Lorraine and Beth, and then spent the evening hacking on the sofa. We did watch an episode of Humans though, which is quite good. Voting in the US elections today. My gut tells me it's Trump, but I'm hoping this is just pessimism. Early to bed.

Up to Mill Hill this morning. Lorraine gave me a lift in the rain to Preston Park station where I secured a croissant and cup of tea. Slow journey up to Mill Hill, enlivened only by me finding an unattended bag on a seat when I stepped into the carriage at St Pancras. Nobody else bothered much by it, but I spoke to the driver just in case. He told me that things were less likely to be dodgy if they are left in plain sight. It is the hidden away things you need to watch for. Mum came to collect me from the station, and she drove us up to Barnet Hospital. No parking spaces there, so we had to drive off to park in a Barnet street. Into the hospital, and Mason sitting up and I was relieved to see him looking cheery and fairly well. He'd been talking to all the nurses, and was pleased to see us. Hung around with Mas chatting for a couple of hours, then Mum and I drove off to a pub on the way home for lunch. Mum later visited him again. Sat outside eating fish and chips with mushy pe...

Mason still in hospital today. He had a minor heart attack while he was there, but he was in exactly the right place for it to be treated immediately, so there apparently is little damage done. I made plans to travel up tomorrow to visit, and spoke to mum several times during the day, and messages with Toby too. Obviously, I'm worried about him and Mum. Spoke to Val, my French Agency friend, who has some work for me, which is a boon. Such a cheery and nice woman. I will be working on cat fleas and worms. Also trying to sort out Telltale stuff today too, as Robin is taking time off. In the afternoon walked over to see Janet and Ken, and give Janet a belated birthday bunch of flowers. Cheery woman in the florist in seven dials, who made me up a lovely little bunch.  Ken on good form I thought, and has put on weight lately. Ate ginger biscuits and sipped tea and chatted about many and various subjects. In the evening off to a regular meeting called Nerd Nite Brighton (staged as ...