under another sun

Up early and off to Edgware. Lorraine back to Maureen and Pat's, to give Pat a shower. I reading Memories, Dreams, Reflections, an autobiography, of C. G. Jung , which I had started before, found it fascinating and then set it aside. Now I am powering through and I'm finding it a wonderful read. I am listening to it as an  audiobook, and reading the actual book depending on the circumstances. I was today reading the book. Chugging north quite happily, then just as we got into London my head began spinning as I read my book and I felt very odd. I then realised after a moment's panic that it was simple dehydration, having only a cup of coffee and a cup of tea from Lewes station. I had a bottle of water, gulped it down, and then got off still feeling a bit shaky at St Pancras. Having bought a bottle of water, drank it and a sandwich, I was soon back to normal. I tried to give the other part of the sandwich to a homeless man, who declined as he couldn't eat cheese.   Gettin...

While springing out of bed at 9:30 making Lorraine and I tea at Burnside Cottage, I got the migraine spangles and had quite a wussy morning. We had a nice breakfast and I went back to bed. However, we zoomed off to catch a bus to St. Andrews at 1:30. It was steamy upstairs, and full of incredibly well behaved school kids.We had pleasant afternoon's lurk in St Andrews, and popped into the Gorgeous Cafe for cups of tea and two panini,  and looked in the wonderful bookshop, but this time nothing insisted it was worth carrying back to Seaford. Later had a cheeky coffee in a student filled bookshop. After dark and Jade had finished work she drove us straight to Anstruther. We hurried through the rain to the Bank, where Sam was being a magnificent barman, looking commanding and very handsome and his gym work paying off. Had a couple of drinks there, catching up with Jade before we said goodbye to Sam and made off to The Wee Chippy, for excellent fish and chips. It looks quite wee on the ...

Up early and editing, then recording with Robin for the episode going live on Thursday. Finished an hour or so of chatting, and I set to starting to edit. Frustratingly I got a migraine shortly afterwards, and had to stop as I couldn't see the screen. Had a couple of dozes on sleep on the sofa, and Lorraine made me lunch, and eventually got back to it later in the afternoon, and edited for a few hours. Lorraine out lots today,  collecting and driving pals of Pat and Maureen off to Eastbourne. I felt a lot better in the evening, and ate a veggie shepherd's pie, which was delicious. Felt a bit frustrated that I wasn't able to go for a walk this afternoon as planned with Innis, which I had to cancel. Hey ho. To bed fairly early. 

 Woke up feeling full of beans today. Had a pleasant breakfast and later Beth came to collect us to drive us off to Hove in the afternoon to celebrate Rosie's birthday. She gave me a birthday present too... A Christmas Jumper in one of the greens that suits me. Chuffed with it. Upstairs in the Jo and Co cafe, we met lots of friends, obviously Innis and Rosie, but also Emily and Graham and Sam, and Rosie's old pal Alice. We sat down on a large L-shaped table. Beth next to me but apart from that people I didn't know, but made friends quickly with two women Rebecca and Emma, both very creative people, and spoke to Rob next to me who we eventually established once studied philosophy and Law. Rebecca was a writer like me, and Emma showed Lorraine and I a complicated, and interesting picture, which made me think of the old Mouse Trap game, of decisions made and obstacles faced. A very cheery afternoon, and Rosie having fun despite the day reminding her and Emily of their Mum Susa...

I learned from Julia that her and Bob's mum had died yesterday. Messaged Bob of course.  Happily working at my desk this morning. Generous amounts of rain hosing from the sky. Spoke to Mum, who was not enjoying the weather and was off to the Waggon pub later, for a bit of fun. She'd gone to another meeting in Edgware where they were playing Bingo which she thought was a bit of a pointless game. Also spoke to Anton, off this weekend taking his Mum to stay with Uncle John in Spain.  Sylwia here for a few hours making the house look spick and span. Lorraine at Pat and Maureen's to take a doctor's call with Maureen. At lunchtime I mooched around to Osborne's fish and chips, picked up a pensioner's box with two fish, and more fish and chips and Mushy peas and  had lunch with Pat and Maureen and Lorraine in the flat. The sea less lively today. I love how Pat is enjoying seeing the ferry come in and they both get quite caught up by all the goings on, like a yacht race ...

Woke up at 5:30 to a spangly migraine, luckily I fell back to sleep and eventually got out of bed at nine thirty-ish. A not too busy day. I looked at the proofs of the little Snow pamphlet by Palo and I, sent by Mark at Hedgehog press, and made a few tweaks to punctuation in one of the poems. He's done a lovely job, and it looks beautiful. Palo's pictures are lovely too.  The wordle answer today was Sally, and we had a new neighbour called Sally call around for coffee with Lorriane this morning. She seemed nice, and she and Lorraine chatted lots. After a delicious soup, made with a kenny farm celeriac Lorraine got to work in the garden, emoving a stubborn root where we want our wildlife pond to be. Lorraine and I also mooched about in my study, slowly gaining control of my new space. Loving it. Seem to be doing everything at half speed though, possibly because of the migraine this morning. Spoke to Anton today, who had a week off to decompress and then has had to plunge back i...

So woke up to the beginning of spangly migraine. Fell back asleep for half an hour then after the light show was over, got up, rushed off to catch the train to see Mum and Mas.  As I was sipping a cup of tea from the flask, I realised I had left my phone at home. Asked to produce railcard almost immediately. On my phone, but I talked my way out of it despite looking at the sign that said  No Railcard? No Excuse. And mentioning a fine of up to £1000. By the time I reached Lewes, I was feeling a bit shaky and the light was hurting my eyes. As I climbed the stairs from the platform I decided to cut my losses - and turn around and postpone my trip till later in the week.   Back home, Lorraine getting ready to set off for Pat and Maureen. I phoned Mum and I sat about feeling wussy and listened to an audiobook by Kenzaburo Oe called A Personal Matter . Somewhat frustrating: I wanted to do lots of reading today but my eyes hurt.   Meanwhile Lorraine called me to say she wa...

Like yesterday, I woke up full of purpose,  made some tea and took two cups up to the bedroom, and as I sipped the tea, a spangly migraine started, taking the wind out of my sails. The rest of the day a bit wan and headachey (thank God they are not like my excruciatingly painful migraines of yesteryear). I managed to press on as much as possible. I watched an hour's video of the briefing I refused to attend just before Christmas on strokes for a job I am doing next week. Laugh a minute stuff. Also Lorraine and I took the decorations down, I disassembled two plastic trees. Later, able to look at the screen when dimmed, I some editing on the podcast. Generally, though, a bit short changed. Was thinking of going out for another walk, but it rained all day too. Bah.

For the second time this week, woke up at about seven, having migraine spangles. And as before I fell asleep, and woke up later feeling okay.  This is happening quite often at the moment. I don't know what's triggering it.  Pottering about the house this morning, and Lorraine and screwing a bathroom cabinet to the wall, and wiring in the plug inside it. Lorraine, who had thought she had turned off the electricity, receiving a nasty zap, but was okay luckily.  Off to The Ram in the village of Firle to meet Beth and James to celebrate Beth's birthday tomorrow. Really nice Sunday roast, I had pork, Beth and Lorraine shared lamb, and James had beef. I opted for a bit of cheese, but the others had nice desserts. Heavily overcast sky, and the pub seemed cozily dark as we ate, with little fairy lights and fires.  Talking excitedly about their Seaford move. They are in that hideous waiting bit, where nothing seems to happen. They both are taking tomorrow off, and will spend ...

Shortly after I woke up, I got the migraine spangles and felt wussy. Lorraine brought me some breakfast and then I went back to sleep till the afternoon. We had been invited to go to Andrew and Jess's place for a garden party but we pulled out of this. I gradually felt more like myself this evening. Often I get migraine when I am beginning to relax -- so I shall take it as a good sign.

Woke up to migraine aura spangles again. Little pain, but draining. A galling waste of a Lorraine at home day. A bit better in the afternoon. Lorraine and I went out into the back garden to assess things. I did a bit of copy for Germans, and tinkered surprisingly-productively with a poem. Had a nice chat with Toby this evening. He may zoom over again this year.  Also an actual letter from Richard dropping through the door was a pleasant novelty. Great to hear from him.  Despite my feeling the Russians weren't going to invade Ukraine, it seems they will. The news certainly not much succour in these times. Lorraine and I watched a film called The Lost Daughter, starring among others Olivia Colman. A lovely, beautifully acted and subtle film set in Greece. Want to hear the cicada again.

A poor night's sleep. Eventually dropped off, but was woken at six by a text coming through saying I did not have covid. Dropped off and then woke up half an hour later, in a star spangled manner, to a migraine. Lay in bed for a further hour or so, dozing again, and got up at nine, feeling a tad wan, but the spangles were gone.  After a slow start, I worked through a list of tiresome things, and did some business admin and tinkered with some writing and so on. Also researching memory by reading books an' that. A walk this afternoon, feeling a bit better by then. Cooked experimentally with a mix of bulgar wheat, freekah and quinoa, who really ought to release a hip hop album. Added grilled halloumi and a mix of remaining vegetables and chicken. All good.

Today had a tricky start, feeling apprehensive about the new job. Hammering rain first thing, which made me pleased I was working from home. Breakfast: a boiled egg and the a slice of the most holed chewy brown loaf I have ever seen. Sat at my desk an hour or so before the first meeting to read through the material I had been sent, at 8 o'clock the central part of my vision went to be replaced by spangles. A migraine. Luckily I sat listening to a meditation tape, and the spangling had passed ten minutes before I was to dial in. These days the headache component to my migraine is just at basic headache level, so I could press on, albeit in a wussed out enervated way. Working with Fernanda, who is a lovely Brazilian woman who I have worked with before, and some other pleasant folks. Yet another transatlantic pitch. I can't seem to escape them. Working with Fernando -- also Brazilian but based in Lisbon. Keith messaged saying last weeks agency are wondering if I would be free to w...

Up with the lark, as Lorraine had got up very early to go to the gym. I got working not long after seven on some stuff for Val in Paris. Lorraine returned home, having forgot her work clothes to change into. Once I'd finished the French stuff quick walk in the beautiful morning, before back to work on finalising The Inheritor , now much improved I think. Received a letter in the post from Jeremy saying that he wanted to take my wee horror story The Dream Home for the next Frogmore Papers. Chuffed with this, as am seeing it as another sign that the horror route is a good one for me. A bit of a breakthrough. To the gym at lunchtime, did quite a good workout. Home and more bits and pieces of work, laundry and other housework. Read another couple of stories by Matthew Rees, jolly good they were too. When Lorraine home, we ate in the back garden fishcakes and salad. I had to pop across to the cornershop afterwards, on the 30 walk home, quite a hefty migraine started, and I simply t...

Lorraine working from home today, so a bit of a lie in, and I wasn't out of bed till eight, just as Tom was coming in from his nightshift. Nice having her working downstairs while I'm in my study.  I continued working on the new idea I had yesterday, and reading over what I had written thought it seemed quite promising. Then after lunch with Lorraine, I sauntered into town to go to the gym. En route I bumped into Di Turner at the bus stop and had a good chat with her. A cheeky half an hour on the cross trainer, and then to the Library to return Let the right one in and pick up two US modern classics of the horror genre, a collection of stories by Thomas Ligotti Songs of a Dead Dreamer and Grimscribe , and a 60s precursor of  The Exorcist novel called  The Case Against Satan by Ray Russel both published by Penguin Classics. Also had a chat with Carrie, who works there and is a pal of Lorraine's from her singing days, and A Basketmaker's Arms reg'lar. We were ta...

Woke up feeling hung over. Who would have thought that drinking beers with a migrainey head was a bad idea? Feeling wan and migrainey most of the day. And missed out on everyone else going to the beach and cavorting in the sea in Hove. I spent much of the afternoon asleep and felt somewhat better for it. When Sam and Jade came back home with Lorraine, she cooked the amazing vegan noodles we'd had with Sian. They may have been even better this time. Then Sam and Jade went out to meet Beth again, and go to the Basketmakers to meet Carrie, who Lorraine's ex had been going out with when I first met Lorraine. She is a nice woman, and fond of Beth and Sam. Lorraine and I, by now feeling almost human again, had a quiet night in. And lovely it was too.

Woke up feeling fairly early, but then found myself while in bed having spangly migraine eyes, and feeling very tired. Simply went back to sleep again for some time. Had a dullish headache all day, and felt a bit out of things. Nevertheless Lorraine and I set about getting the house ready for Sam and Jade who arrived this afternoon. Jade has just submitted her PhD, and they were in holiday mood but both pretty tired. We caught a cab with them off to a vegan pizzeria Purezza on St James's Street in Kemptown.  It had been raining off and on most of the day. We got there and met up with John and Beth, who had bussed most of the way, but were utterly soaked to the skin just before they arrived. I quite liked the pizza, and Purezza is certainly somewhere I'd go again if I had a craving for something that was a bit like a pizza but not quite. Obviously ethically Purezza is spot on, and if this planet is to be saved if we all were vegans, this might help a good deal. We then nipp...

Unwanted visuals and headache gone today. A bit of a wan post migraine day feeling glum and wanting to be springy and full of life but finding myself feeling old and creaky. However did plenty of work, and spoke to Mum who has had a welcome break from visiting hospitals on her own account and with Mas, and Janet who kindly offered me a chair she won't have any use for. I also went for a short walk. Passed a lad of about sixteen on the nice middle class streets hereabouts who, when I was about ten yards away from him, lit up his joint. This caused me to breathe an unwanted lungful as I passed. There is nothing furtive about smoking a joint these days as there was when I was a lad. People are literally happy to puff it in your tetchy old face as you walk past. Perhaps he thought he was doing me a favour.

A good start today, pressing on really well with the on the long MS. Looking out of my window I could see the windmill on the far horizon and a blue sunny sky. Next time I looked up the house was in the middle of a dense fog, which itself disappeared a bit later. Felt quite tired and underpowered again. Had a coffee to perk up, and an hour later at 1:30, and thinking about going for a short stroll, suddenly I couldn't see my screen properly. I went to the mirror and looked into my own eyes, and it is a sure sign of a migraine that when you can't see your own eyeball that it is a migraine. Soon the eye spangles started and it pretty much wrote off the rest of the day feeling wussy with a hurting head.  After a short sleep, I crawled back to my desk to join a teleconference, but mercifully this was only half an hour and I had to listen and not talk.

Surprisingly excellent aftermaths from last night's performance. Roy Marshall did a feature on me in his excellent blog , and Robin mentioned me on a post in her blog , following me reading from memory yesterday, and us chatting about it afterwards. In the afternoon decided to break off from work, and started riddling earth in the fox-benighted garden, when I started getting another migraine with my eyes playing up again. Galling as I was due to go out and have a cheeky beer with Anton. After a bit of a lie down, opted instead for a quiet night indoors and an early night with Lorraine.