under another sun

Up early and off to Edgware. Lorraine back to Maureen and Pat's, to give Pat a shower. I reading Memories, Dreams, Reflections, an autobiography, of C. G. Jung , which I had started before, found it fascinating and then set it aside. Now I am powering through and I'm finding it a wonderful read. I am listening to it as an  audiobook, and reading the actual book depending on the circumstances. I was today reading the book. Chugging north quite happily, then just as we got into London my head began spinning as I read my book and I felt very odd. I then realised after a moment's panic that it was simple dehydration, having only a cup of coffee and a cup of tea from Lewes station. I had a bottle of water, gulped it down, and then got off still feeling a bit shaky at St Pancras. Having bought a bottle of water, drank it and a sandwich, I was soon back to normal. I tried to give the other part of the sandwich to a homeless man, who declined as he couldn't eat cheese.   Gettin...

A call at 6:30 from Steve in the Waggon and Horses sounding a bit shaken and telling me that Paul had died in the night, and if I could let mum know as he thought she'd find the news upsetting. Steve and Paul had come to Mason's funeral and both are regulars and friends of Mum's at the Waggon. Too early to call Mum, so I waited till 9ish to tell her the news, then called Steve back. He'd received a call early this morning from Paul, and had rushed around to see him, but found him. He gave him CPR for 15 minutes, till the ambulance turned up, but poor Paul was already dead. Mum was obviously saddened by it, and said she was going to the pub this afternoon.   I found the whole thing somewhat triggering. Something about a sudden death, involving Mum, the day after Mason's birthday and I felt very stressed over breakfast. Lorraine gave me a hug, but it was a shadow over the day, and I only felt happier when I talked again to Mum in the evening. She'd been to the pub...

Up and off to see Mum this morning. During the journey I finished reading The Sunken Land Begins to Rise Again , by M. John Harrison which I think is a fine book highly enigmatic and haunting, and much of it set in my old stomping ground in West London.  A bus from Mill Hill the short hop to Edgware, and such a beautiful day. I sat on the top deck, and felt a moment of unalloyed happiness looking at the children's drawing style puffy white clouds and deep blue sky. Feeling strangely free today. I found mum in good spirits, having had a busy day yesterday. She has managed to sort out a call with the tax people to do her accounts next Tuesday. Also the woman who comes to clean a bit, and the gardeners came yesterday. We drove off to the Waggon and Horses and had a chat with Paul at the bar, and some food. She asked about Gordon Road, and I told her what it was all about, and how it had been sparked in part by her remembering the name of the street, Gordon Road, where my paternal gran...

To Edgware this morning. Feeling at a low ebb of energy, but hopping from crowded train to crowded train, reading a bit more of  A Memoir of my Former Self by Hilary Mantel. A rich, highly intelligent, and slightly cantankerous personality shows through. I enjoyed her Reith Lectures, contained in this volume. The spit of rain in Seaford got heavier the further north, and was full on pelting by Mill Hill.  To mum's had a cup of tea, then off in the rain to The Waggon and Horses. The pub quiet and post weekendish, but Steve and Paul frowning over a laptop in their corner of the bar.  We ate our usual foods, All day breakfast to share with the birds and foxes for Mum, and chicken shish for me. Home again, and a quiet couple of hours in which I looked at some SF books I had bought in the seventies, I even remembered where I'd bought one of them from. Then had some dinner and watched M*A*S*H, episodes I'd never seen and quite enjoyed. Mum creeping out after dark to feed the fo...

Off to Edgware this morning. It had rained overnight, which was quite exciting. The omega pattern jet stream over the UK meant weeks of settled high pressure and no rain. An early breakfast and off. The train journey not too bad, but because I have to hop from train to train it's hard to settle to doing any work even though I had my computer. Good to see Mum, who I'd not seen in person since I met her with Toby in Hampstead. We had a cuppa and looked at the will she's had drawn out with the help of Steve and Paul at the pub, looks watertight to me. Eventually I drove off to the pub, where I was able to thank Steve and Paul. We had a nice time there, although Waleed the chef has suddenly left without really saying goodbye. He always used to call Mum and Mas mummy and daddy and kiss mum's hand. My chicken shish wasn't quite as good as before. Home again with Mum and after more tea and chat, I left at around 4pm, it had been good to see her.  Home at 7:30 as the trains...

After rather wild winds, a fairly sedate and showery journey off to see Mum. Delayed trains, nothing to do with the weather, made it a lengthy journey.  On arrival we zoomed off to The Waggon and Horses, and had some lunch. Mum's mates laughing it up. Steve came over to me and mentioned Mum's near miss with the scammer. Nice that she has friends there who care enough about her to mention that to me just in case. Exciting news from Beth and James. Beth had another scan today. A new development: they now know the sex of the baby, which I will wait for them to share more widely before I reveal it in this blog. I am surprisingly, very invested in the whole baby business and rather excited. Then home, and after teas and some lurking, Mum cooked for us a bit later on, and we watched MASH and drank some wine and drifted off to bed, where I slept heavily.

To Edgware by car with Lorraine today to see Mum on her birthday. A decent drive up there. We stopped for a cup of tea, and to give her some presents. The throw and pillows had already arrived, and we gave her some new pots and pans, to replace the venerable ones she uses. Lorraine drove us to The Waggon and Horses where we got a seat by the fire. Curtis, behind the bar, and Mum's crew, who call her a geezerbird, all cheerily greeting her and Steve shaking my hand and wishing me merry Christmas and happy new year. Just after we'd eaten Toby called  from Bali fresh from a yoga session-- thinking that we'd be together. So Mum got to speak to him on her birthday too. Very cheery in the Waggon, and Lorraine had a chicken shish like me, and was surprised at how genuinely excellent they are there. Home again and we sat by her fire in the living room. Neighours Emma and Gail dropped off some presents for her, and Wynford dropped in too with a gift. He sat chatting with us for a wh...

To Edgware. A sudden stomach upset adding a little jeopardy to the journey, but God bless the Gents at East Croydon Station. Fairly repaired once I had I arrived at Mum's place to hang out for a bit, and then melt away to The Wagon and Horses for lunch and a stomach settling pint of Guinness. We were given free soup today, by Waleed. Mum giving me a birthday card for the weekend. A long journey home, but all fine reading and listening to podcasts. Very happy to boof onto the gold sofa some hours later, and chat to Lorraine and Rosie turned up having been out for dinner with Beth. Rosie being very cheery and staying for a sleepover. Below one of mum's houseplants flowering beautifully. I think it is a hibiscus.

Up to Edgware. Nice to see Mum, not having been able to see her for a few weeks due to covid and so on. A smooth journey there, though I was struggling with my lightning app, which makes a thunder noise when there is a nearby storm. The train passed by the edge of a big storm, and my trousers kept ominously rumbling. Fine in London. I was sporting my new coat, and was warm. To Mum's, then off to the Waggon and Horses. Some upstart in our seat, however, so we sat at a table near the men in the corner, Steve, Paul, and Jim who has just lost his wife, and the Bailiff whose name I don't know. They were their usual cheery selves and chatting to Mum lots. I asked Mum about coming down for Christmas, or a bit of a break. But she worries so much about Felix being left on his own, that she can't do it. Felix was treated horribly as a kitten and is easily spooked.   Back to Mum's. A van is parking outside her house in her spot, but Wynford was there and said she could park in his...

Back up to London. The train wouldn't start again at Seaford, but then all well, and a good journey, unremarkable other than a dog leaning with heavy fondness on me and licking my hand in one train. Got to Mum's exactly at 12:20 and after a cup of tea and a chat, and we sorted out a couple of bits like reloading Facebook on her iPad and sitting a heavy pot back on its feet etc. Her new wifi working well, although she doesn't like the little phones so much. We looked at a few old photos and then made off in the car, now parked outside on the newly-tarmacked street as the old disabled markings are gone, so she can park outside her own house without being given a ticket by Kafkaesque parking wardens.  To the Waggon on a fine, but coolish day. A few of the folks in the corner, all saying hello to us, especially Mum. The Bailiff guy was in, with two dogs which he told to sit on two chairs and they did, all the time he was there, even when he had to go out to move his chair. When...

Up to London with Lorraine, she was off to a reunion of her cohort of nurses from the London Hospital, and I went up to see Mum. After a bit of chatting we zoomed off to a very lively Waggon and Horses, where we drank some cider and had lunch. Mum loves it when it's like that. Steve and Paul and the other guys at the bar, laughing and there was a part of a wedding party with the young women dressed in gorgeous colourful south asian clothes, and blokes of those Indian silk shirts, matched with tattoos for an unusual look.  Home again for cups of tea, and then after a fond farewell I caught the bus Mill Hill Broadway station, but instead stayed on it till I reached Finchley. Here to do a bit of mooching about in Gordon Road, where my paternal grandparents lived, and where I was looked after during the day when mum was at work. I have some patchy memories of this time, and I was hoping that by visiting the street, I would have my memory triggered. A nearby footpath felt lined by trees...

Scorchio! again. Got up and caught the 9:24 train from Seaford, looking from the platform across to the sea. Even here the sky a bit murky as there were violent storms over on the French coast. Up to see Mum, reading  poetry by Martha Sprackland. On the train from Lewes I sat next to a Swiss woman and her husband. She was radiating anxiety about the train being full, and having to go to London. For some folks London is real challenge. Made it to Mum's fairly easily, doing my now trademarked slinking from shadow to shadow where possible. Rehung the curtain in the kitchen with Mum, and looked at some of the remaining admin bits left by Mas. Then into Mum's car, winding the windows down and zooming off to the Waggon and Horses for a meal.  I copied Mum and had some cider, which was perfect for the day. Mum made me laugh saying that she sneezed so hard that she sneezed her mascara off. Steve and Paul there as usual, although Steve had a troubled air about him and left early after...

Up in Edgware, having slept quite heavily. Breakfast with Mum, and I replaced our Friday list of things, with a new list of Mason related tasks now with fewer things on it. I researched couriering ashes to California. Eye-watering expenses, and nothing can be done till the death certificate is issued anyhow, and that won't be for months potentially. We drove off to Edgware and took seven big bags of clothes to the charity shop. While Mum finds this sad, there is at least the idea they are going to a very good cause. From there back home, and thence to The Waggon and Horses, arriving a bit later than usual, had lunch and some Guinness. Steve and Paul at the bar chatting to mum and I cheerily, and inviting her to sit with them next time she comes. Mum made me laugh mishearing on of the staff talking about duck wraps, as lab rats. Fond farewells with Mum, then I set off at 2:30. With assorted rail problems, having to go via Brighton, where I had to change to bus travel, it took me fou...

Up early and making coffee. Chatting over breakfast with Mum, avocado on toast, then we set about some chores. I called the funeral directors to double check they had Mason's ashes as I'd previously agreed. But  Paula, who works there, had forgotten. If I'd made this trip solely to pick up the ashes I would have been fairly cross about this, and so now we won't be able to collect them till the first week of April. However, Mum and I did some other stuff like buying a new carpet washer online, and setting a date for Mason's mobility equipment to be collected, and we took some of Mason's old clothes down to a Barnardos charity shop in Edgware. Mum had done well this week sorting some admin out.  Then we drove to the Waggon & Horses for an early lunch. It was a bit empty, but I enjoyed the chicken shish and the Guinness. Mum is doing okay, but of course greatly misses Mason being around.  Fond farewells with Mum there, and I walked back to Elstree station, and ...

A day of limbo, this being the day before the funeral. There was nothing much to be done for the time being. It also poured steadily, most of the day. Mum and I sitting about restlessly. Eventually we went to the Waggon and Horses where we were going to meet Lorraine.   Another bloody fine on the car, but when you tear the package open it says there is £0.00 pounds to pay. It's the sort of Kafkaesque nonsense that we could do without. A huge puddle that had spread over half the road near the pub. Lorraine had a bit of a tiresome journey up in the rain, and had to waiting in a carpark en route for a nurse from our local surgery to call. We ate chicken shish and I had a couple of pints of Guinness which along with Lorraine being there took the edge off the general twitchiness. Surprised to learn that Waleed, the chef was coming to the funeral. We drove home. I nipped out at Tescos and I met mum and lorraine at home. The evening built around  M*A*S*H which is a great escape for M...

Getting myself organised to go back up to Edgware first thing, including picking out some clothes for the funeral. Then, my rucksack packed, and kissing my sweet wife goodbye, off again to Edgware. A simple journey which gave me the opportunity to tweak my speech for Wednesday. When I arrived at Mum's I sent it to the celebrant who had asked to see it.  Mum had been to the podiatrist this morning, and was hungry and drove us to Elstree and the Waggon and Horses for a late lunch. I also drank two pints of Guinness, which had designs printed on the foam having been put in a strange machine by the manager. People chatting to Mum a bit and being friendly.  Home and I popped out to get some food and then cooked this evening, and we settled down to watch MASH. Toby called, telling us his early impressions of life in Washington. After talking to Lorraine, who was yawning, I made my way into bed, worn out before eleven.   Below a picture of Mum telling me not to photograph her, a...

Up and feeling freer this morning. Most things crossed of the list of things that must be done. Mum chose another piece of music for the funeral and I emailed the choices to the celebrant. We went into Edgware and mum paid her credit card bill which she does in person. Into the Broadway centre. Mum spoke to the pharmacist, and told them about Mason. The pharmacist was sympathetic and kind, and said she had just begun to make up Mason's prescription. She knew who Mason was even though Mum had not said his name, because they had been going there for years.  I looked briefly at some wrong shoes and we popped into Sainsbury's where I bought a few bits for dinner tonight. Walking back from the bus stop met Nick, a neighbour a few doors away. He was originally from the US too. There was a mobile coffee waggon parked up in his drive, which when his son, I think, was backing it in, looked like a trailer for a small pony. Very friendly and nice man. I sat with Mum as she called one of t...

Up early this morning, and when mum got up I made coffee with oat milk, and avocado toast.  Then, after a certain amount of faffing off on a 142 down to Burnt Oak to go to WH Putnam funeral directors. We were early and had coffee in a Portuguese deli next door but one. Mum after tasting the coffee and pulling a face suggested they were drumming up business for the undertakers. Soon we were with a fast talking woman called Paula, with slightly surprised eyebrow lines, who we'd met yesterday. We booked Mason's cremation for 13 March at 1:30 in the small chapel at Golders Green Crematorium. Stressful business making the decisions, but it was good to get it nailed down. Funerals are not cheap.  Home again for a cup of tea. An older Irish neighbour that Mum did not really know called asking for Ben's phone number. Mum told her that she had lost her husband on Sunday, and the woman replied, 'and the weather's been terrible too.   To The Wagon and Horses where a pleasant g...

I walked up to the garage Tescos at the top of Stonegrove, first thing to buy some coffee speaking to Lorraine there and back. Then breakfast, and a shower and getting to grips with funeral directors. I had the brilliant idea of calling Carl because of course he knows all the stuff backwards, and we had a three way chat. Turns out the Undertakers that had been recommended by a neighbour, and has strong reviews online, was one Carl had once used.  Greatly reassuring to talk him through where we were to sense check everything. Carl making Mum laugh telling her to get the Carl Basket ready for a visit. The Carl Basket was a big wicker basket filled with pillows and a sleeping bag for use when Carl spent the night.   After a judicious shower, Mum and I caught a bus to Burnt Oak, and spoke to the undertakers. We have an appointment tomorrow at 11, but I got the impression that as we have an interim death certificate, we may be able to go ahead with the funeral.  Mum had a kind...

Spent the morning writing lists and emailing people, and phoning people. Kafkaesque and frustrating. You can't appear to do much before you have the Death Certificate. Tried fill in the Tell Us Once site, as another Government website told me you could do this. It lied. Spoke to a very unhelpful person at the registrars, a person at the Tell Us Once service, who said we had to write to the Coroners office about access to Tell Us Once. Surprised to get a reply fairly quickly, part of the text was visible in the preview pane, but when you clicked on the message the text was invisible. I tried it on two devices and on my mail provider. Eventually I was able to read it by stretching the preview pane till twice the width of the screen. It said contact the registrar.  We went to The Wagon and Horses this afternoon. Mum keen to go there and break the news to the regulars. People were so sweet. Blokes at the bar hugging mum and kissing mum, and saying she must always come and she could sit...