under another sun

Frosty morning. Getting ready for a funeral. Appalled by suddenly being unable to fit into my formal black trousers, which only a few weeks ago I was able to enter like a seal sliding into the wide sea.  My hair is also deeply rubbish at the moment, having not had a cut for too long. Felt shabby all day.  Luckily, the day wasn't all about me. Lorraine and I hopped into the car, then picked up some sandwiches, a wreath made of flowers, then Pat and Maureen who were sitting downstairs at Stratheden waiting for us. To south London to attend Maureen's sister Bet's funeral. Reached south London fairly rapidly. The driving app took us through some windy country lanes just at edge of south London near Biggin Hill, Skid Hill Lane, and Corkscrew Hill. We arrived at Bellingham just a bit south of Lewisham, at Bet's house where her son Ted lives. Ted in his dressing gown, who said his ribs were damaged and seemed in a lot of pain. Probably not helped by us arriving very early, and...

The day of the funeral. Breakfast with Mam and Lorraine, followed by what seemed like lots of nervous waiting. Lorraine had accidentally left my black shoes at home, so I wore my tan ones, and took one of Mason's ties, a grey with a touch of gold. Otherwise I wore black and white and grey. Mum and Lorraine in dark colours.  Mum's friend Margaret arrived, and then Mum's friends Monika and Ocktay, who had offered to drive us all to the crematorium.  I sat in the front with Ocktay, who I'd never met before, but seemed an interesting and thoughtful man. He drove us to Golders Green Crematorium, where we found the right waiting room, a little room with black and white photos of the crematorium in it which Monika said she liked. People began arriving. Lots of neighbours, Ben dressed smartly all in black, Wynford, Maheena and Satish represented by her son and daughter, neighbours Emma, Gail and Annie, Steve and Paul from The Waggon and Horses, even Eileen and Sarah from next d...

Raining most of the day. And I felt unnaturally cold. A joyless sort of working day, even though nothing bad happened and I should be pleased to have some work. Had to change clothes halfway through the day, and felt unnaturally attracted to the radiator in my room.    An air of unreality about Lorraine watching her auntie Pauline's funeral on her iPad, while I worked.  Maureen was able to see it too in Ashford. Lorraine had been chatting with Maureen quite a bit during the day, as she hadn't been feeling very bright this morning, but was pleased that the funeral was done and felt a bit brighter in the evening. After work I went for a walk by the shore. Really clears your head after staring at Keith on a screen all day. Went through a shadowy bit where there was little light, and a black dog poked its nose into my groin, and a man dressed in black dragged it off. No harm done, but not my favourite sort of encounter. Lorraine and I listened to a chapter of Don Quixote ton...

Up after not a terrible night, considering it was a strange bed. Had tea in bed, and then scrambled downstairs for a full English with Ken. The owner telling us she had a stroke last year, but gets up at five and clearly does lots herself. Two couples chatting to each other from different tables. Breakfast was fine, with lots of tea, although I had a weird outbreak of twitchiness. We went back to our rooms for a bit, and Lorraine and I did a plum village meditation, which made me feel excellent. I called Mum for a chat, and made an appointment for a massage, which I have been meaning to do for about a year. Then we drove a couple of miles out of Hereford to Aunt Rose's house, where Pat and Maureen had been staying overnight. The house next door is where Maxine, Lorraine's cousin lives with her husband Simon and 14 year old twins. Met Stephen and his Sarah. Stephen, is Lorraine's cousin and Aunt Rose's son. All really nice people. The service was in the afternoon, and ...

A good sleep at Mum and Mason's place. Up latish drawn down by the smell of coffee. I had toast and tea, with a paracetamol side-dish. Conversation with Mas about desalination plants. Mum and I then went off to Diane's funeral service.  We caught the bus across country to Borehamwood, and then trained it up to Bedford. A town neither Mum or I had visited before. We were early so had tea at the anonymous Starbucks in Bedford Station then caught a taxi driven by a taciturn sikh to the crematorium. Interesting old buildings, and lots of Eagle references, we passed the football team which seemed to be called the Bedford Eagles. There was also a place called Eagle Court (where raptors go to be sentenced) as well as a Harvey Road, which we passed while talking about my Grandmother (it was her maiden name) a Lorraine Court, shortly followed by a Toby Carvery. We arrived early but fortunately there was a pleasant waiting room at the crematorium, and rather a lovely chapel. Outsid...

Up early and scrabbling for things to wear to Lorraine's aunty Rina's funeral in Basingstoke. I opted for a sober suit and a black tie and shoes. Lorraine drove us and we made good time and arrived at a cricket club house, just around the corner from All Saints Church where the memorial service was being held. Maureen and Pat there, and I met Doris, Rose and Pauline, Wally and Edwin who were some of  Maureen's brothers and sisters. There were lots of Lorraine's cousins she hadn't seen for decades. I milled about as best I could chatting to people. The ceremony itself was sensitively done and the vicar Revd Rosalind Rutherford and the woman assistant  priest had known Rina well, so the ceremony was quite personal. I hadn't met Rina, but it was sad to see Maureen and her sisters and brothers upset, placing roses on their sister's coffin. Doris had recently lost her husband, so going to another funeral was traumatic for all kinds of reasons. The vicar held ...