under another sun

Another busy week. Had my old pal Simon turn up unexpectedly this week for a couple of days, which was great. With his wife Lindsey he runs Gairnshiel Lodge in Aberdeenshire, which I have not visited yet. It was quite shocking to realise that it was 25 years ago in October when as two callow youths we met in our first week at Warwick University. Even though we'd not seen each other for a year it always feels like no time at all when we meet up. Also went out with Paula accidentally after work. She is fantastically good value, especially after a few glasses of wine and when she laughs like a seagull. Got Matty along too when we passed inevitably to the scarfing Thai grub phase of the evening, as Paula is joining his agency. Last night I lurked into the Dove where I met Matty again and four American pals, Craig, Jeff Sarah and another Sarah who'd flown over to visit Craig. I had a splendid night. I was in sparkling form. Literally. This due to Andy who sits diagonally o...

Have kept something of a low profile this week. Have been sneaking off home after work and keeping out of trouble and nursing the cold that has returned with gusto. However this has given me the opportunity read classic novels soberly in the evening like a Victorian vicar. My friend Mary Jane in New York says that Pride and Prejudice is her favourite book and a straw poll among some women friends revealed that almost all of them had read it. I am about a third of the way through now and finding it quite funny. It is obsessively about relationships and women jokeying for power. Most of the male characters are saps. In fact it is very like a superior soap opera. My ex-wife's book One Stop Short of Barking is now on sale, and I saw it prominently in my local bookshop. I texted her to let her know. I am really proud of her for it. She is getting quite a lot of coverage in the press, TV and radio. With any luck it will do excellently. Last night I saw Maddog in town and we had ...

Have mercifully been able to sleep and stop drinking for a few days now. Naturally the sore throat interpreted this as encouragement, and has returned with gusto. I have reached agreement on a price to move into my new place in Brighton. Still much to be done and it feels like an interminable procedure. I still have no date of moving. However it must only be a matter of weeks now... Surely to God? Had a funny chat with Trace today who has come back shiny eyed from a week in Turkey. She also mentioned that she is going out with her martial arts instructor and they break into fighty stuff with no warning as they move about the kitchen and so on. A bit like the Pink Panther films. Have finished Madame Bovary by Flaubert. Cracking read. Lovely descriptions of Normandy and amazing psychological insight. Quite a dismal story ending in Emma Bovary poisoning herself, her cuckolded husband dying of a broken heart and her unloved daughter being left to the fates. Emma's vanity and y...

Friday night was very nice. Went into town with Michel and Max, who played a game of pressing each others bladders as we walked through Berkeley Square. Met up with Matty and Paul in Fino's Wine Cellar for a glass of wine. Then we went to another pub called The Guinea where Matt had booked a table. We ate excellent Dickensian meal of oysters and steak and kidney pie. Award winning pies apparently, and they certainly were marvellous. Dickensian effect only mitigated by the excellent Italians who ran the restaurant and served with friendliness and aplomb. Taxi home and a blessed sleep till ten. Out again to my mother's best friend Diane's for a dinner party with her, my mum and Mason. Diane is busy starting to be a stand up comedian, which is excellent. I will go to see her next month. Then the evening given to counselling people. Mason was in a funny mood and uncharacteristically started saying how miserable he felt, and really opened up. This was very good, as we w...

Ah Friday morning. A blessed bacon sandwich and coffee at my desk. I have been celebrating my birthday, which was on the 12th, all week. I am now 45 years old, and so far being 45 is cool. I feel surrounded by affection and have met some brand new people too in my travels. On wednesday night I was invited at the last minute to a charity event held in the Science Museum in aid of Starfish , a charity that supports children in South Africa whose lives have been affected by aids. Went with a bunch of chums from work. Aids is cause I have been particularly affected by with one of my best friends Timothy Gallagher and his wife Rosa having died of the disease. See some of Tim's monologues here which allude to the condition. The starfish event was held in the Science museum, and was a black tie event. I like swanking around in black tie, rather than the standard issue jeans/ironic teeshirt that I sport as a creative. All the women looked extraordinary and jewel like. The most jewel...

Lurked in the Dove yesterday at lunchtime where I had a pint of guiness and a fine pie with the French Bloke and some other chums. Such a lovely pub on the river when it's not too busy. Walked back to work for the afternoon in bright rainwashed sunshine and returned at six to locate the French Bloke who was somewhat worse for wear and rambling about not hiding your hobbit in someone-else's burrow... He rallied magnificently however and we migrated up to the Stonemasons to hook up with Katie, Matty, Paul and a funny girl known as Whitefang, who having journeyed around the world for a year or so, was busy denouncing Australia when we arrived. Damn fine to have an evening out, after self-imposed quarantine. Good especially to see First Matie again and be part of the hubbub. I rallied quickly this morning after a lethargic start, the thought of seeing my delightful French client bringing a little cheer. Al showed me her scan photo of her baby, which is now revealed as a gi...

Back at work but still not feeling well. Monday fairly unspeakable. My alarm woke me up at 7:30, and I got out of bed to turn it off. Next thing I knew was my doorbell going at 8:30. Got dressed etc. in four minutes and climbed into cab. Then futile two hours in cab ride heading out into the country and listening to Afghani driver muttering to himself. After superhuman effort of translation, I discovered he was complaining about me telling him the wrong way to go. As a non-driver I had not offered an opinion, but he plainly felt the traffic and rain was all my fault. Running impossibly late for meeting, phoned the wonderful Paula who was arriving at the client's site. She helpfully explained I wasn't needed there anyway so turned the cab around and headed back to civilisation. As a break from grinding teeth in cab I phoned up estate agents. After waiting on tenterhooks for a week to hear about my house I find the estate agent hasn't spoken to the vendor about my new b...

Moan moan. Unspeakable flu finally passing. Flu is a much devalued term these days, anyone with a bit of a sniff says they have flu. Not quite like the week of raging temperatures and cactus scratchy throat, coughs and nightsweats etc I've just experienced. This punctuated only once by going to see my mortgage advisor (fortunately just around the corner from my current abode) while sweating profusely and feeling delirious. God only knows what I have signed up to, or what she thought of me as I was unable to string two thoughts together and was staring numbly at her with bloodshot eyes for two hours. Meanwhile the wretched house negotiations drag on. Am paying people money but am not convinced that the move to Brighton is finally in the bag. Last week's misery compounded by people calling me from work wringing their hands and offering to email me work so I could do it at home. A kind offer I declined. Bought a boxed set of Twin Peaks yesterday on my first shopping exped...

Little to report… #1 hobby is still paranoia. However this is abating. Doomy feelings off and on recur, and funny how this makes you notice things like a few groceries costing £6.66. Boiler stopped working at the beginning of the week and had to wait 4 days for it to be fixed. This forced me to shower after swimming and at work and wash up with boiled kettles of water. Needless to say kettle stopped working after a few days too under the extra strain. Unbelievable how infuriating this was, and how frustrated it is easy to become over how people are prepared to lie to you about when they are coming to fix the dratted thing. Talked to a woman about mortgages this week for an hour and a half. This made my head explode. But at least I am becoming clearer on the subject. Otherwise house stuff seems to be progressing as far as I can tell. Went out several times with various friends during the week. Met Katie, Gavin, Sarah and Fraser in the White Cross in Richmond. Had a nice beer...

Went out with Paul and Matty Boy on Thursday night where Paul made public the fact of his immanent fatherhood. Naturally we needed several beers to discuss this. He also is in touch with my ex-girlfriend and said he’d also seen her mother, who was a very nice woman. A kindred spirit in fact. He’d told me this on the phone when I was in Germany, and it has been niggling me somewhat. My ex-girlfriend has been, quite understandably, avoiding me somewhat in the last few months. After some thought I sent her a note suggesting we meet up. I’ve not seen her for about six months, and not spoken to her for about two. What I wanted to do was to say goodbye, as we don’t seem at all to be able to follow our plan of remaining friends, and I will be moving from London soon. This was rebuffed. I was made to feel like some kind of stalker for even suggesting this. I resolved to not contact her ever again, and found myself acting out something from a novel I’d written (which did not see the light of...

Beautiful walk into work today. 15 of my 30 minute walk is by the river, and it was fresh and sunny this morning. Just a touch of autumn in the air this morning. Work was fairly galling. One of the worst bits of agency life is raging politics, and I feel that I am falling foul of it. Felt somewhat sorry for myself today again. I despise myself when I am like this -- a misery. However I went for another swim after work which made me feel a good deal better. My lovely landlady, who lives in Ireland, phoned me with the option of being able to stay in the flat for an extra month. This is great news as it simplifies my move at a stroke. Brilliant.

Good news today, my offer has been accepted for the house in Brighton. Very happy about this, but this time I'm not counting my chickens. And this evening I have been brooding about organising the move, packing, storage, utilities, mortgage etc. etc. all over again. It will be great to be able to call somewhere my home soon. Got a surveyor lined up this evening which is good. The one I used before is on holiday. Mercifully, work was quiet and uneventful. A friend's partner had a masectomy yesterday, which put my restless feelings in perspective. Woke up early this morning and was reading Gerald Durrell's My Family and Other Animals for what seems like the hundredth time. It's such a lovely, escapist book. I went to Corfu a couple of times and still there are glimpses of Durrell's idyll among the tourist hellspots. Another day shunning drink in pennance for my immersion in the Munich beer lake. Still restless this evening, and went for an evening walk which...

So... Had a splendid time in Munich. Went down to Brighton on Thursday morning, met Anna Anton, Christian, Jane and Brian. Anna's parents were there too, on duty to look after baby Klauds. Drank Champaign and shortly climbed into the stretch limo that Anna had organised to take us to Gatwick. The flight to Munich took something like an hour and a half. We took the train from the airport into the city centre where we stayed in a hotel called Hotel Germania . Once arrived we sped out into the city. It was beautifully clean and the centre was extremely attractive. Had an evening meal in the Rathaus . This was the first of the sausages and beer. The Rathaus is the town hall, and we ate inside a beautiful courtyard. After many beers Brian got talking to a German woman who was somewhat worse for wear. Brian, who explained who the two couples were and then for reasons best known to himself introduced me as a cross dresser known as Annabel. This something of a surprise to me, perhaps...

Felt full of manly vigour today. Had some blood taken first thing then went to work feeling fine. Saw a fox dead in the gutter on Fulham Palace Road this morning. In the afternoon went for a meeting in the Cotswolds to see my charity client. Nice meeting. Stopped after in the lovely town of Burford, beautiful old stone fronted buildings. Sat on the sloping main street with Mike, Emma and Penny and 14 wasps. The other three flapping wildly at them, Mike succeeding in batting one incredibly hard with a teaspoon so that it flew like a bullet at a screaming Emma. Another dived into Penny's coffee and she dragged it out and squashed it. We noticed a bulging bottle suspended over the front of the shop with a slop of poison in the bottom, and full of dead or dying wasps. Felt like I was witnessing a wasp holocaust. But managed to force down two scones with strawberry jam butter and cream. Negotiations proceed with the property I put the offer in on. At an impasse tonight, but ...

Back to work today via the quack. Trotted out my bestiary of minor ailments, and I'll have to go for a routine blood test tomorrow. As expected the lump in my arm was not dodgy but it's nice to have a bona fide quack say that. Taking a more dispassionate view of work today, which is my new policy. I had a water-and-food-only lunch with Michel at the Riverside. Black pasta and crayfish. Very nice. Michel has sent off to the States for a fuel injection system for his pimpmobile. Nice. Also told me how the delightful Eva was decorating at the weekend at their flat and shortly after the roof caved in due to a burst pipe above. After lunch I called the estate agent and made my offer on the property I saw at the weekend. Second time around it seems somewhat unreal, and as she hasn't got back to me I've no idea what has happened. Then I stepped into a time machine where, on disembarking at the very desk I had been sitting at, had conversations about starting sentences...

Another day of enjoyable self-imposed isolation. Woke up at an astonishing 11:15am today. The longest I'd slept in for as long as I can remember. Spent the day pottering about getting myself organised for moving. Given that I will be in Germany later this week and next weekend I needed to get myself organised a bit as time is running out before I will have to move out of my flat. Have resolved to put in an offer on the property I saw on Saturday. The more I think about it, the better it seems. In the evening watched a dvd I'd just bought Wings of Desire . I love this film, I find the gradual transition of the Bruno Ganz from being an observing angel to a participating human extremely moving. A film I can watch time and again.

Thankfully feeling somewhat perkier today. One of those days which -- like a few lately -- make for dull reading but were actually pretty enjoyable. In fact I went for a walk of what my trusty pedometer tells me was 11.33km, or 13,656 steps. Walking is very good for me. As I was walking around through Chiswick and down to the Thames and across it to Kew and back along the river path. I realised that I’d been getting over anxious lately -- especially work, and flats falling through and so on. By the end of my walk I had definitely felt clearer. I think I’ll do it again tomorrow, God knows I have plenty to get clearer about. Bought some DVDs today because I fancied a quiet night in. Got Buffalo 66 which I really enjoyed. Surprising use of Yes music in the film score. Coincidentally I also watched the DVD of Yes unplugged today. I enjoyed this too -- if only because they had to rethink some of the standards and breathe a bit of life into them. Arrived at a rough first draft for ...

Still brooding hypochondriacally. Today I went down to Brighton to look be shown more properties this time by a useless Saturday guy who was late, didn’t have the right information with him, and ran out of time. This left me seething, having dragged myself down from London. He left me at the last property and I spoke with the owner at some length. This last property was a distinct possibility, so the journey wasn’t wasted. Felt somewhat tired after all this and went home again without dropping in on anyone. Despite myself ended up watching a bit of the Olympic games today. I can’t bring myself to care about who can throw a stick further than someone else, or can run in circles faster. But it seems to be important to some people.

Another day of feeling ill, although less washed out than before. Was solitary today, sneaking out early to buy some food rather than gnaw at my own flesh for nourishment. Other than that spoke to one or two people on the phone and received a couple of texts. In between sleeps, I have been working on a poem for the first time in ages. Really enjoying writing it. It's about Dick and Joan's farm in Ontario and is a compensation for my photos only being in black and white. It is a kind of colour sketch really. And I'm writing it just for the fact that thinking about a sunny day on a farm is better than thinking about feeling rough listening to heavy rain in London. Otherwise I read some of Mary Oliver's poems in her New and Selected Poems. These were leant to me by Tracey. Not sure what to make of them yet, although I already approve of the fact she is a nature poet and has appeared to have damned the torpedoes and written what she had to write. Also read some of ...

Rattiness explained by being ill. Have been feeling ill and out of it all day. Very sleepy and achey. Listened to the radio and ventured out only once to get some chinese food. Read, and in between bouts of feeling wussy fiddled with a poem. Spoke to Anton briefly. His new diet is curry only. He's found that by eating curry every single day this week he has lost weight. Can't wait to try it.