under another sun

Heard some rain overnight. The weather app had promised hours of it, the reality was half an hour or so. I seem to be obsessed with rain these days. There has been so little of it here.   Had a good morning's work. Looking again at the full collection of poems, and putting it aside did me some good, as I saw a couple of rearrangements in the structure that might help it. Mainly I just want it done. Just a few bits in the final section to think about now. Also sent off a couple of poems for the first time since January, though I've not started a new poem for months now.  Lorraine home today, Pat and Maureen altogether better, and her personal trainer in Paris. After writing, I planted up some ground cover plants, using my knee pads, while Lorraine worked on pots, and went to pottery later in the evening. A walk in the evening, a giant thunder cloud to the north. Looking inland, the light was  low and bright, picking houses out against the dark backdrop.  Of the prom...

For the first of the month... Cooler night, and a comparatively wonderful night's sleep. Lorraine and I on the first of the month, in an unhurried fashion. This calm shattered by an alarming call from Maureen about Pat. Lorraine dropped everything mid breakfast and went around to see them. Pat ended the day with antibiotics for a chest infection.  I called Mum a bit later, and arranged to see her on Wednesday, she told me that Steve from the pub had been to Germany on holiday, and had two heart attacks, and was treated in hospital there. I was a  bit shocked to hear, this. He is back home now. Will meet Robin, Stephen B, and SJB on Thursday for a poet's get-together. Slightly put off my stroke this morning, so did mundane tasks: laundry, food shopping and going to the gym. Lorraine home after a full day, cooked a tasty aubergine dish  Watched Babylon 5 this evening, sipping sparkling water. The story arc is genuinely interesting. The weather forecast promises heavy rain o...

In good shape this morning, and commended myself for sensible drinking yesterday.  We began packing up from Pretty Vacant, our room, and made off to have breakfast, the room full of wedding goers in fine fettle. Lorraine and I, arriving late, had smoked salmon, scrambled eggs and toast. Once we'd checked out and loaded up the car. We joined in the efforts with friends and family of Rosie and Innis to take down the arch of branches, and carry things to their car etc. The newly weds were going to stay another night at the Bell.  Their room was called The Love Nest, was round and hobbity, and excellent, with a nest like exterior and once you climbed the stairs a fine terrace. They were going to swap for another one for the night.   Lorraine and I, in no hurry to rush back hung about at the Bell, hung out with Innis and Rosie, and the charming Peter and Sam Kenny. Hugging and saying goodbye to lots of folks. We sat outside under an espaliered tree canopy, had a slow lunch, a ...

Off to Ticehurst this afternoon, to stay at The Bell, where Innis and Rosie are to get married tomorrow. Arrived and found our room, in its own little structure, called Pretty Vacant. A very cool and stylish room. The buildings full of art, prints from Picasso, to signed Tracey Emin prints, while managing to retain a village pub ambience. A marvellous place for a wedding, and just generally to stay. Went outside for a pint in the excellent pub garden. Bloody sweltering again. Drank a nice pint of lager and it instantly went to my dehydrated head. Drank a mix of judicious beers and pints of water from then on, but never quite caught up. Really hot today.  We had a pizza in the beer garden, where we hung out with Simon and Nicky and their son Ted, and said hello to many wedding guests. Rosie and Innis had a family meal and after this was over, I had a final cheeky beer with Innis and Tim before heading back to Pretty Vacant.  Below the pub urinals, snaps in our room

To drawing class this morning, home to Lorraine and Enzo. Had lunch, and played with the baby, then sloped off to the gym for a bit. Late afternoon, I bussed off to Brighton and the Stanley Road store. Patrick and Melissa were giving talks there. Many familiar faces: Adele, Kate and Andrew, Sally and Marek, Debbie, Chris Melissa's husband and Chris and his son, and some friends from art class. All jolly, and the people who ran it talking about their philosophy of joining artist together, as well as my friends, they had a slide show of visual art, to a background of music created by a Polish DJ. I talked to lots of people and came back feeling quite boosted. On the way home, Adele, Patrick and I stopped off at Franco Manca for a cheeky pizza before going home by train to Seaford. Below Patrick and Melissa acquitting themselves excellently. Melissa dressed as Frieda Kahlo, and talking about a fresh start in her work after reviewing an impressive track record. Patrick talking about tr...

Hottest May day in the UK ever, touching 34C in London, though slightly cooler here on the coast. A call for Lorraine from Maureen saying that Patrick had blood in his urine bag and Lorraine had to phone nurses and so on and head round, which she normally does on a Monday. Delores still unwell so did not go round to Pat and Maureen too. We spoke to Mike Sassarini -- to cancel today, but we beat him to the draw, as it was also too hot and difficult for his mum to travel. I felt lethargic in Greek temperatures but with no Ionian to slip into periodically to cool down. Lorraine round at Pat and Maureen. Pat's urine bag returned to normal thankfully -- dehydration can cause these symptoms in older people.  Left to my own devices I caught up with this blog in the garden, till I began to feel too hot. Crept inside and rearranged some clothing draws, tidied up my study, hung washing on the line... Did lots of small jobs requiring little or no gusto or vim. Called Mum to see how she was do...

Woke up wanly on the gold sofa. A lively night with Enzo waking up at 1.10 am, too hot and with a nasty cough. Lorraine looked after him brilliantly, we took him downstairs where it was a bit cooler, and opened up the windows. Lorraine got him soothed and asleep after about two hours, put him down again and he woke up crying right away. Eventually we had all the windows wide open, stripped the bed, and I slept on the gold sofa finally getting to sleep again after four, but with a new found respect for Beth and James and people with babies generally. Some of the teenagers next door went out and sat in their inflatable pool making lots of noise from 6am, which, with the windows all open was tiresome. Breakfast with Lorraine and the lovely boy Enzo, who looked bright despite everything. Breakfast interspersed with Lorraine and I pushing lego cars on the table top while he wriggled with pleasure.  I chatted with Delores, and medicined her with Dioralyte sachets. She perked up enough to...

Up early and after breakfast completed a substack post, about J.H. Prynne.   I then surged into the garden and given that it was the year's hottest day, Lorraine and I worked hard moving stones and planting plants near the wildlife pond, where Lorraine saw mature tadpoles a day or so again. At this point Lorraine attempted to murder me. I'd patted in some heuchera plants, and popped away. Lorraine put the hose on the area. When I stepped back to finish the job, but the ground had become of quicksand, and I sank at least eight or nine inches and fell over, losing my garden shoe and becoming covered in mud. Lorraine seemed sorry I hadn't fallen into the pond too.  Lunch in the garden. Delores still in bed recovering upstairs, after being ill on Friday and coming to ours to recover. Enzo brought round by Beth, and a good deal of time playing with him. I got a few good chuckles out of him, winking at him absolutely delighted him. I went out to collect a prescription for Delor...

Up early again, and writing first thing. A gorgeous hot day. Sloped off to the gym where I finished listening to When You Are Engulfed In Flames another of collection of David Sedaris's stories. I enjoy his autobiographical anecdotes which seem polished to perfection. A man hogging the lat pull machine, who walked around the edge of the gym, before doing yet another set. I noticed, in a very Sedaris way, that he was bulky about the arms so I said nothing, even though that is the one machine that helps sort my back out.  Tried to arrange meeting up with Anton tomorrow, but he is unwell. Home, and a shower, off to Stratheden court with Lorraine, to pick up Pat and Maureen and meet Maxine and Simon just by Frankie's beach cafe.  Maureen rather critical of my wheelchair technique. Lovely to see Max and Simon again, and they were very affectionate with Maureen. Lorraine and Pat, sporting a nifty Spitfire cap, joined us shortly after and we had a quick drink then went for a saunter...

Up early writing, then made breakfast. Robin popped around this morning with a box of deluxe Brownies that our last guest on Planet Poetry Mara Bergman had sent to her. A lovely thought. Robin, looking super trim and doing lots of keep fit lately, simply had one piece leaving five. I shared one with Lorraine and it was so incredibly delicious, that I simply had to have another one, and make Lorraine eat another too. Mad sugar rush. We had the last two in the afternoon, and I felt that any attempt to control my food intake was doomed from that point. Robin also left me a copy of her A Guide to Getting Your Poems Published which is selling like hot cakes. Off then to drawing class, where I feel I am getting nowhere fast, but maybe I just have to enjoy it and not look for progress. Lovely to see my friends down there though. Did some light pencil work then added the dense charcoal Anton had bought me to them thus cancelling out anything that was good in the first place. Still, you live a...

Robin dropped off some chocolate brownies this morning, that we had been sent by Mara Bergman, after being interviewed on Planet Poetry. They were delicious but utterly diet destroying. She also gave me copy of her book about getting published in poetry magazines. I also received Tess Jolly's new book, signed by her.  Lorraine collected Enzo first thing, and once I'd come back from an enjoyable drawing class, we went off to an excellent plant nursery with the wee bairn strapped in his baby seat in the back. Being driven usually sends him to sleep. I sat next to him, and I mimed closing my eyes, which he thought was hilarious. 

A day of writing, Lorraine out all day, and doing her pottery class this evening. A day of being highly focused on a final edit of  The Follower Followed (which has the working title Kansas). It is done and ready to be sent. I have cut it quite a bit from its largest size of over seven thousand words, and now it is a bit over five and a half thousand, but tight and balanced. Quite pleased with myself, though now to find someone to publish it. An interlude when Lorraine returned with Enzo because her old pals Rachel and Andrew dropped in for a quick cup of tea, having been in Eastbourne. Andrew immediately asking about my story, how many words was it, what was it about and so on. He loved Enzo and was playing with him lots. Rachel is very nice, and has started playing double bass.  A walk late in the afternoon just to do my paces for the day.  Lorraine home with many excellent pots. One with a lid that fit perfectly. She is coming on in great leaps.

A day at home...  I did a bit more editing of the short story.  Lorraine surged purposefully outside to do gardening, I cleaned the pond filter and thinned the pond weed. Only two goldfish remain now, as the unknown predator has been at work again. These two survivors look chubby and healthy though. Later in the afternoon, studio time. Me trying and failing to come up with visual art ideas, but spending a lot of time thinking happily about them, and Lorraine playing with clay, making small clay fish. I made one too. All highly enjoyable. Thank God Lorraine and I have a new TV obsession: Babylon 5. The first episode was risibly bad, so we almost stopped watching it there and then. But I looked up some old reviews of it, and it is well thought of. Now we are enjoying its ever more complex plot, and dated visuals and attitudes. Spoke to the Tobster this evening, and discussing his visit over in the summer. And after talking with him about the Guardian's list of the best 100 novel...

A quiet morning. I went for a walk down to Tide Mills, hurrying home as it was threatening rain. In the evening Lorraine and I trained off to Hove, where we went to a nearby pub called The Watchmakers, where Rosie had booked a table. A very cheery evening, with Rosie and Innis who are getting married two weeks from today. They also had their friends Adrian and Laura with them. We liked them very much, which was lucky as they live one street away from us in Seaford.  Heard from Innis all about the ghastly business this week he had been involved with, the three women lost at sea. He was the first responder from the coast guard to arrive at the scene, and had the nightmarish business of attaching to a rope, having to wade into the stormy sea to try to recover a body. He was soon joined by another colleague and they were able to recover the body. Another two people were found. Innis had brought a change of uniform with him, and once dried off, he then continued work on the beach, which...

Final edit on the Kansas story underway. Still finalising the proper title, worked on it all morning.  Spoke to Mum, getting ready to dye her hair. She's saved thousands over her lifetime doing her own hair. A light lunch with Lorraine, then to the gym for a cautious beginning again workout. Between 2-3 am seems to be a sweet spot, sans schoolboys clotting up the machines while studying their phones. My new bone conduction headphones worked a treat. Now I can trundle on the cross trainer and comfortably listen to a podcast.    Lorraine and I mooched down to the bottom of the garden to our 'studio' where Lorraine did pot trimming and I did some much about with visual ideas. This was very pleasing. I melted away to make a curry from chicken, chickpeas and mushrooms. We passed on the pub tonight. I was out yesterday, and Lorraine and I are out tomorrow night instead. A note from SJB wondering if I would introduce her and Tess Jolly at a reading they are doing in Brighton in ...

Up early, I did the blurb for the new podcast episode, and then sorted breakfast while Lorraine collected Enzo, who was our smiley little breakfast guest sitting between us on a high chair.  I left Lorraine holding the baby, while I zoomed off to drawing class and we all drew a nice model. She said she'd been modelling over several weeks for sculptors. I asked her in the tea break if she felt she was in any way a co-creator of the sculptures  produced. She said she felt responsible for the atmosphere, and tried to put everyone at their ease, which I thought was interesting. Adele back and feeling quite well, I sat in my usual place in the circle between Debbie and Kate. Melissa cheery and positive as ever. Then home, and found something to read and discuss in the Understory Conversation this afternoon. I enjoyed the session as usual. As often happened Emma seemed to say around what I'd been thinking. She'd gone to the Tracy Emin art show, and loved the energy, and was talki...

Spoke to Mum first thing, just to confirm she was okay. She was. Tyre men arrived to do Lorraine's car. Lorraine zoomed off to do Rhyme time, Sylwia arrived to clean the house and I repaired to my study to listen to and tweak Robin's cut of the podcast. This done I made off to Brighton for a haircut. Stacy on good form. It began hailing and lashing rain while I was there. Everyone in the barbers talking sadly about three women who drowned in the sea off Brighton in the early hours of the day. I wondered if Innis had been involved. It turned out he had been part of this upsetting day. Hail and lashing rain. I scurried back to the station. Collected my super reader glasses from Specavers, which combine close reading at the bottom with arms length focus at the top. They take getting used to and made me feel a bit woozy.  Made it home shortly before hail, hard rain and thunder.  Bit more podcast stuff. And a relaxed evening. Although called again because Mum set off her pendant ag...

To Hampstead first thing. Rain and thundery liveliness forecast this week. A fairly easy journey this morning, and I was able to do some writing on the train.  I early to Hampstead station, and mum was already there. We sloped down Flask Walk, up past the school to The Old White Bear. Quite empty when we arrived, but a few people filtered in. We ate some rather good fish and chips, and had some drinks in a cheery fashion, even when we had a divergence of opinion over how much wine Mum might want. Back to the station, and fond farewells. I had a smooth and fast journey home too, which was excellent. Lorraine off doing her pottery class and arrived home at 9:30. About half an hour later, I was called alarmingly to say mum had pressed her pendant and couldn't be reached. While I was trying to contact her, they called back to say that she had let them know it was a false alarm. I tried to call her several times after but she was not picking up, which was unsettling just before bedtime....

 Lots going on this morning. I had to bump a recording session with Robin till this afternoon. While Lorraine was out collecting Maureen, Wenda, an old friend of Lorraine's arrived with flowers. She turned out to be a kind, empathetic person to whom I warmed immediately, and in no time we were talking like old friends.  Then a man arrived to look at Lorraine's tyre and found there was a screw through it, and it needed to be completely replaced. Lorraine and Maureen arrived, and Maureen was delighted to see Wenda too. I slunk upstairs to call Mum and do a bit of writing before coming down before the left for Lewes, where Wenda's husband David, who is an actor, was filming for a day. In the afternoon, after banter with Robin, I sloped off in the afternoon and rejoined my usual gym, as my upper body needs help. Same nice lady as last time, who told me I was there day's different in my birthday to her brother, which made her like me.  Slight rain on my way home. There is a ...

 A cheery morning, once we were up and breakfasted, and after I'd scrambled about in the loft, we drifted down to the studio where Lorraine threw some pots, and I fiddled with some visual ideas. Our CD player sprang back to life, and we had music and art and pottery going on. Which was rather idyllic.  To Morrisons, by foot as Lorraine's car has a flat, luckily a man is coming to sort that very tyre tomorrow. Home and a general frenzy of tidying in preparation for Brian and Yvonne. Lorraine cooked a tali, using the little trays and bowls and that was all rather lovely. Cheery night with lots of laughing. They gave Lorraine some PX sherry and I was surprised to be given some pencils and paper, and a wee drawing of me done by Brian. Below: knee pads. Mum paid for these, which Lorraine bought for my birthday last year. They are game changers, kneeling on the loft board, in the garden etc. with manly abandon.  

Outdoorsy healthy day. We surged purposefully into the garden, for weeding vegetable beds and while Lorraine planted,  I pruned hard an ancient rosemary bush and a leggy lemon verbena bush. The copious clippings went into the garden bin. I rarely suck in lungfuls of aromatic bin air, but I did today.  From here a walk down towards Tide Mills and looped back to the beach and home. Baby Enzo here for a sleepover tonight. Cheery little lovely boy he is. His sleep patterns were a bit messed up so he was over tired, and Lorraine couldn't get him to sleep. At about 9pm, Beth and James came to collect him. He went straight to sleep in the short car ride home. Below I like the small 'wild' part of the garden that Lorraine have sown with native plants. Meanwhile the shallow end of the little wildlife pond we put in here has dried out with only one downpour since March. The weather has predominantly been coming from the north east, so there are cool nights and dry sunny days with no ...

A red letter day, as Lorraine's pottery wheel was delivered. An excited Lorraine and I carried it down to the studio, and she soon was using it. Before that, I was recording with Robin. I said a few things about J.H.Prynne, which made me think of my old friend MSR.  I zoomed off to take fish and chips to Pat and Maureen, and hung out for a bit. Pat trying initially to eat with two forks bless him. Then I mooched off to walk by the sea. Home for a tad more editing on the short story, and in the evening off to The Old Boot Inn. Tonight's cast: Debbie, Delores, Andy and Patrick and L and I of course. Ended talking about philosophy, and Debbie particularly wants to start a philosophical conversation group. I have somewhat mixed feelings about this, because philosophy, in my experience as a former philosophy student, leads only to roaring and or peevish arguments.    Below , actually I took this yesterday. Liked the orange light on the white building and the blue sky at the en...

Lorraine collected Enzo and we had breakfast with him, he had a hobbits second breakfast of a pear and Weetabix mix. He adores Lorraine, but does seem genuinely pleased to see me too, which is wonderful. A bit of podcast prep this morning,  then recording some podcast banter with Robin. Just nice to catch up. I've missed talking to her.  Then lunch and playing with Enzo. In the afternoon to Drusilla's. Enzo certainly noticing the animals but when everything is new, a load of prairie dogs are just one more excitement. One monkey came to the window and loomed over him, which Enzo didn't much like. The swing was a great hit though. Grandparents in the car which parked next to us, and the woman talking lots to Lorraine as we left at the same time. Quite a few babies being taken there. Off this evening after dinner Lorraine and I sloped down to the women's institute, and tried to keep the flag shagging neofascists out of local government. What times we live in. Re-read The O...

Up early again enjoying sitting at my desk and thinking about words. After breakfast and Sylwia arriving Lorraine went off to Rhyme Time, and I spent a few hours editing the Kansas story, which I think is going to be called The Follower Followed or maybe just The Follower.  I hacked hundreds of words from it, and probably needs a bit more. It's still over six thousand words and its completion has been hampered by being ill and so on. Taking lots of time over something doesn't necessarily equal quality though.   I had a bite to eat, and then popped around to Melissa's house for a review of my drawings, which soon evolved into talking about art and life more generally. She's thinking of doing a performance piece later in the year, and is a properly creative person. I left with lots to think about. Talking with Melissa helped me realise I have been putting too much weight on the drawing and should just trust myself to explore the possibilities, rather than being goal focus...

Up early and prepping to interview Will Harris. We had problems with his sound, problems with wifi and so on, and I had to ask him to re read his poems at the end just to ensure we had clean versions. I found him genuinely interesting and I really liked him. The session lasted an hour and 40 minutes, but Will was very gracious about this. After this, Lorraine and I loaded up the car and took a load more recycling off to the recycling centre. While I was doing this I went through a lung cancer triage by phone-- this prompted by my local surgery as a free service. Thankfully, they said I am low risk and nothing needs to be done. One of the questions was about what sort of cigarettes have I smoked. Apparently one roll up cigarettes are twice as bad as normal ones.  At the recycling centre we drove right past the bays and out into the main road the other side. We had to go around again, which made us laugh. Then we went to this big Age UK warehouse, which is crammed full of furniture f...

I got up early and joined drawingisfree.org to drawing people's faces in an online zoom call for the length of a song. Adele told me all about it and sent me the link. My drawings were a bit cartoon-like, but it was very good practice. The convener asks attendees to volunteer to sit, and there are dozens of attendees and people willingly agree. Up and then off to Stratheden Court, to collect Pat and Maureen and bring them round to ours for the day. Some logistics needed what with wheelchairs and walkers and so on, but fairly easily achieved. Maureen especially enjoying a change of scene. Beth came around with her little sunshine boy for a couple of hours, which delighted them. Pat was really smiling and happy to see hm.  Enzo with a bit of help is almost standing, and always on the verge of crawling. But he is so communicative and bright and is sung to so often, and is doing things like clapping at the right point in songs.  A delicious curry made by Lorraine, we took them hom...

I was up very early for some reason. I am feeling far more positive than I've felt in a long while. I decided that 2026 officially started on May 1st. Took Lorraine a cup of tea and we planned our day. Soon we were surging purposefully into the garage, reclaiming the space to create our studio. We made real progress, and took a carload of stuff to recycling at the end of the day. I am beginning to become excited by the possibilities of that space.   A roast chicken this evening, episodes of Foundation, and all well. A gorgeous clematis flower in our garden.

A nice breakfast, and speaking to Mum,  L off to Eastbourne to see the Wizard of Oz with Beth and Enzo, in a production done by Beth's theatrical pals. The show greatly enjoyed, and Beth got to introduce Enzo to lots of friends. I made off to Brighton, and spent the afternoon with Anton playing dominoes and catching up on events since February, when we saw each other last. Wheelbarrow loads of news, and some of it difficult such as his Uncle John being seriously ill.  Anton's few days away in Spain with Camino very stressful due to worrying about the family, surviving the downsizing at work and so on. Thankfully my godbairns Klaudia and Oskar doing well. Also during the course of the afternoon learned about Anton's new craze, which is a sort of leather writing folder, and going to sit in quiet corners of pubs writing thoughtful and intriguing letters to Camino.  We met in the garden of the Battle of Trafalgar. This old favourite of ours, now a ghost ship under new owners....

To London this morning. Set off in sunshine and arrived in Edgware flitting between shadows as it seemed really hot to me. Two jewish men in Golders Green were stabbed in the street  earlier in the week, described as a terrorist attack by Government and media.  I wondered how people were feeling in Edgware, just a bus ride away, with a large jewish population. So much fear in the world. I found Mum in good spirits. We took a look at her filing, tax affairs etc.  It was soon clear that I need to with Mum overnight and spend a day filing and weeding out her bazillion documents as they make her heart sink.  This agreed, we slid off to the Waggon and Horses. Men were touching up the paint on the outside of the pub, and in the iconic waggon by the roadside. The pub smelt of paint a bit, and there was a new dartboard installed in the corner. Perhaps darts will make a comeback there. Had a light lunch and enjoyed a chat with Mum and some Guinness. Steve and a friend of his ...

Up and another blessed night of sleeping. I feel so much better for it. Lorraine zoomed off to Beth's house early. I bent over in the bathroom and felt my bloody back go into a nasty spasm, but I was able to walk it off. To drawing class in the Women's Institute. Melissa called me Peter Kenny today which made me smile. Lovely graceful model named Carys. Enjoyed drawing a little more today, but don't feel I'm drawing at my best. After the class I made off to the exhibition in the Crypt, where Adele, who had been in my drawing class, and Mandy were overseeing. Palo and Martin happened to be there. Had not seen Palo for ages, and I had a nice chat with her and Martin, who has been writing a novel for months, and talked to me more than he has ever done. Nice to see them both.  Then home. Lorraine arrived with Enzo. Soon Dawn arrived, and we all spent the afternoon together. Dawn is about to be a grandmother too, so was very excited about that. Lovely to see her. She's b...

Noticeable how much more I can focus than a week or so ago. The brain fog is abating I hope. I sent some questions to Will Harris ahead of next week's interview, and later did a little editing of the never ending Kansas story. Also made time to watch King Charles's speech to Congress. I'm not a royalist, but even I have to admit it was a good speech and he delivered it well. The speech cast things in historical perspectives, which seemed to suggest that the Trump idiocracy will soon be just another historical period.   Off this afternoon for an eye test. Fortunately my eye health is good. I've ordered a bifocal pair for intermediate and reading, and a longer distance pair for watching TV at night when my eyes are tired. After this, off for a walk, after no rain in April, the ground is cracking, which I find a bit shocking. When I was a young lad, April was a month of showers.   Home and a bit of time with Lorraine before she left for her class. I snuck off and got mysel...

Lorraine off to her personal trainer, and then met up with the walking heads, a group of ex-heads who meet up and walk. For me a productive day. Up and after breakfast finished the two books, Rendang and Brother Poem , by Will Harris, and began to form questions for him in my mind. For me it's all about setting small targets and achieving them.  Then off on a walk around Tide Mills, pushing back against the anxiety of open spaces, and did a circular walk today I'd not managed before. The thing I've learned recently from revisiting CBT is that avoiding what unnerves you is the worst thing you can do. As long as I feel in control and stepping up in gradual increments I will get there. Home and a bit of writing, and chatted to Mum. Lorraine back having done loads of exercise. We had an early dinner, I fixed a hinge in the glasshouse, then we went around the corner to see a local art exhibition in the Crypt, where saw arty friends such as Adele and Mandy and Eileen, and bought...

Still bleary after sleeping on my pile of pillows, and of course doing some coughing, which filled me with despair at 1:30am but I got to sleep soon after. A better night's sleep. Up and editing an interview Robin had done. Also emails with Will Harris, an excellent poet I will interview next week. And a chat with Mum, and arranging to go to see her at the end of the week. Lorraine up early and spent the day with Maureen, and arrived home later with three chilli plants and a big lamp stand bought in a charity shop for £10. Just what we needed. Off early this afternoon to get my eyes tested. Luckily my eyes are healthy, and the close work hasn't deteriorated. Distance is a smidge worse, and I have bought some distance glasses for watching TV and films etc. I also bought super-readers, these combine my close reading lenses with my arms-length focus, so when I'm working I can look at the screen and scraps of paper and books with the same glasses.  A walk along the sea back, fe...

A day to spark up the first barbecue of the year. I cooked a whole chicken and some sausages, and the barbecue behaved itself excellently. Beth and James and Enzo arrived first, then Rosie and Innis. Rosie had bought salad, and Beth potato wedges and Lorraine made a lovely roulade. Sat outside eating and enjoying several drinks in the sun.  Rosie's car however had problems and the alarm kept going off and the electrics had malfunctioned. Luckily Rosie eventually realised she had RAC membership and a man came around to fix it. They also bought Pippi the dog, and a bubble machine.  I enjoyed myself, but again feeling a veil of weariness between myself and events. Good to see everyone. A relaxed evening. Chelsea won the FA Cup semifinal, so are in the FA cup final again this year. Having deposed their 'supply teacher' manager, they remembered to play today, edging it against dirty Leeds. Below Rosie and Pippi and Beth and Enzo and lots of bubbles. Enjoyed playing with Enzo. H...

Off to see the Sassarini at Brighton Marina today. Plan A was to bus there, but the buses were oddly doomed today, so we had to drive. We met Mike outside Asda and went on a ramble around the Marina with him, walking through area's I'd never noticed before. Mike in good shape, apart from having had sciatica in his leg, which precipitated a fall on his knee, so he was hobbling about somewhat. Mike recovering from a ghastly period of work difficulties, and people reneging on payments and so on.  They had a really nice apartment, and it was lovely to see Zina again. Back from Russia after her first visit to see relatives in many years. I asked her about the Russian perspective on Ukrainians, given that her family is partly Ukrainian. She said the Russians think they are cheeky, which made me laugh. While we were together, Toby called me, and of course he wished he was with us. Zina laid on an amazing spread of food, and cooked delicious chicken wings, coated in special rubs with e...

Exhausted morning after coughing all night. Lorraine filled out a triage form for me first thing, and I ended up going to the doctor this afternoon. My chest has no alarming sounds. The doctor suggested it was acid reflux. I was dubious about this, but could see that this makes you cough which then triggers your sore lungs, and you're away. On reflection think she may be right.  A lovely sunny pleasant day. I did some writing this morning. Lorraine with Maureen and Pat. I met Lorraine on the seafront with Pat and sat in the sun, with a cloud of little flies settling on us. Pat enjoying the warmth. Then Lorraine and pushed him to the fish and chip shop to buy Pat and Maureen's lunch. After pushing him to Stratheden, I made off to the doctors.  In the evening we went to The Old Boot Inn. Lots of people to celebrate Lorraine's birthday and to have the usual Friday beer and pub grub.  Yvonne and Brian, Andy and Helen, Adele and Patrick, Steve, Mandy, Andy, Guy and Barbara. A ...