Fear is the mind killer

A long day locked into a meeting with my new needles in eyes clients. All went very well, and they seem very pleasant. The meeting finished at 5:00pm and we were all due to go out for a meal afterwards. As our clients zoomed off to their hotel to change and meet us later, I bought some drinks in the works bar for our team. I felt very cheerful and relaxed.

Then yet another in my bout of migraines kicked in. It seems to strike when I feel relaxed, which is annoying as it ruins some of the good times at the moment. The FB took me off to get a migraine treatment from the pharmacy. This seemed to work quickly, and the flashing lights were soon banished, but I went straight home again. Horrible journey in a crowded train, having to stand part of the way with a throbbing head.

Ate and then soon went to bed. Slept for a few hours then woke up around midnight feeling sorry for myself. I bought this book ages ago: called Free yourself from fears, by Joseph O'Connor, and started to read through it again. It is based on NLP and at one point it asks to find a metaphor for your fear. On asking myself this question I find that my fear is like a prison because when I am fearful I feel trapped, isolated and alone.

Reading the book gave me a series of ah-ha moments. Reminding me of the fact that there are real fears and unreal fears.

And actually picturing how you see your fear is an interesting thing to do, because it also a way of finding an antidote. If fear is a prison, visualising a key or being able to step out into the world again or being able to talk to people on a phone could be useful. It all made a lot of sense to me in the middle of the night.

Also, interestingly, Joseph O'Connor quotes from Dune about fear - "I will not fear. Fear is the mindkiller. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

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