Mason's funeral

The day of the funeral. Breakfast with Mam and Lorraine, followed by what seemed like lots of nervous waiting. Lorraine had accidentally left my black shoes at home, so I wore my tan ones, and took one of Mason's ties, a grey with a touch of gold. Otherwise I wore black and white and grey. Mum and Lorraine in dark colours. 

Mum's friend Margaret arrived, and then Mum's friends Monika and Ocktay, who had offered to drive us all to the crematorium.  I sat in the front with Ocktay, who I'd never met before, but seemed an interesting and thoughtful man. He drove us to Golders Green Crematorium, where we found the right waiting room, a little room with black and white photos of the crematorium in it which Monika said she liked. People began arriving. Lots of neighbours, Ben dressed smartly all in black, Wynford, Maheena and Satish represented by her son and daughter, neighbours Emma, Gail and Annie, Steve and Paul from The Waggon and Horses, even Eileen and Sarah from next door, Mum's pal Christianne and Robert arrived in the chapel too.

Mason's coffin was carried in by the bearers, the flowers I had bought by the foot looking exactly like what was ordered. Emma our celebrant was efficient and respectful, and I gave my speech, mentioning the people who couldn't be there due to distance or age, and giving a short description of Mason's character, and his love of Mum. I ended with Mum's words, reading out a poem she had written some time ago about Guernsey, that Mason used to cherish in his office. 

Where there is light, look for me

in the sequins of the sea 

within bright flashes of the frost

no part of life is forever lost.

Connecting spirit joins all

autumn sunlight on the wall

constellations, candle flame

the past and future all remain.

Mum and I walked up to the coffin. I touched it and felt at that moment more connected to what was going on than at any other point before or since. Mum stood with her hand on the coffin for some time. Then we went outside. Emma and the chief pallbearer were there, and said the flowers were around the back, we went back to look at a few bunches of flowers and the casket spray. Mum did not want to take them.

Mum, Lorraine and I were driven by Ocktay to the Waggon and Horses. However there was a snag. Our friend Waleed was not there as his wife had suffered a spinal injury this morning. Nobody seemed to know what they were doing for a bit, but we found a big table, and soon and some drinks and food, and Mason roundly toasted. It was a cheery time, and Mum definitely surrounded by affection.  Margaret and Christianne, Eileen and Sarah had gone home from the chapel, but Marian, an old friend of Mum and Mason's arrived. But there was a fairly merry throng, toasting Mason. I enjoyed chatting with all Mum's friendly neighbours, and friends. Steve one of the regulars swapped numbers with me. I felt generally quite emotional I think, but also relieved I hadn't made an arse of myself in the speech at the chapel. Lots of people told mum that she was a wonderful writer, which she enjoyed. 

Ockay kindly drove Mum, Lorraine and I home at about six. I thanked him and Monika. I was pleased to meet Monika and Ocktay, they were both very caring of mum.  

Weirdly we were back in time for M*A*S*H. I knocked out some cheese on toast, and while I was doing this Toby called Mum. We drank a bit more wine, till Mum was tickling Lorraine's feet. I felt a kind of relief that Mum had done so well on what was a very difficult day.

Below a snap of Mas back in 2008.