under another sun

Up early, I did the blurb for the new podcast episode, and then sorted breakfast while Lorraine collected Enzo, who was our smiley little breakfast guest sitting between us on a high chair.  I left Lorraine holding the baby, while I zoomed off to drawing class and we all drew a nice model. She said she'd been modelling over several weeks for sculptors. I asked her in the tea break if she felt she was in any way a co-creator of the sculptures  produced. She said she felt responsible for the atmosphere, and tried to put everyone at their ease, which I thought was interesting. Adele back and feeling quite well, I sat in my usual place in the circle between Debbie and Kate. Melissa cheery and positive as ever. Then home, and found something to read and discuss in the Understory Conversation this afternoon. I enjoyed the session as usual. As often happened Emma seemed to say around what I'd been thinking. She'd gone to the Tracy Emin art show, and loved the energy, and was talki...

Spoke to Mum first thing, just to confirm she was okay. She was. Tyre men arrived to do Lorraine's car. Lorraine zoomed off to do Rhyme time, Sylwia arrived to clean the house and I repaired to my study to listen to and tweak Robin's cut of the podcast. This done I made off to Brighton for a haircut. Stacy on good form. It began hailing and lashing rain while I was there. Everyone in the barbers talking sadly about three women who drowned in the sea off Brighton in the early hours of the day. I wondered if Innis had been involved. It turned out he had been part of this upsetting day. Hail and lashing rain. I scurried back to the station. Collected my super reader glasses from Specavers, which combine close reading at the bottom with arms length focus at the top. They take getting used to and made me feel a bit woozy.  Made it home shortly before hail, hard rain and thunder.  Bit more podcast stuff. And a relaxed evening. Although called again because Mum set off her pendant ag...

To Hampstead first thing. Rain and thundery liveliness forecast this week. A fairly easy journey this morning, and I was able to do some writing on the train.  I early to Hampstead station, and mum was already there. We sloped down Flask Walk, up past the school to The Old White Bear. Quite empty when we arrived, but a few people filtered in. We ate some rather good fish and chips, and had some drinks in a cheery fashion, even when we had a divergence of opinion over how much wine Mum might want. Back to the station, and fond farewells. I had a smooth and fast journey home too, which was excellent. Lorraine off doing her pottery class and arrived home at 9:30. About half an hour later, I was called alarmingly to say mum had pressed her pendant and couldn't be reached. While I was trying to contact her, they called back to say that she had let them know it was a false alarm. I tried to call her several times after but she was not picking up, which was unsettling just before bedtime....

 Lots going on this morning. I had to bump a recording session with Robin till this afternoon. While Lorraine was out collecting Maureen, Wenda, an old friend of Lorraine's arrived with flowers. She turned out to be a kind, empathetic person to whom I warmed immediately, and in no time we were talking like old friends.  Then a man arrived to look at Lorraine's tyre and found there was a screw through it, and it needed to be completely replaced. Lorraine and Maureen arrived, and Maureen was delighted to see Wenda too. I slunk upstairs to call Mum and do a bit of writing before coming down before the left for Lewes, where Wenda's husband David, who is an actor, was filming for a day. In the afternoon, after banter with Robin, I sloped off in the afternoon and rejoined my usual gym, as my upper body needs help. Same nice lady as last time, who told me I was there day's different in my birthday to her brother, which made her like me.  Slight rain on my way home. There is a ...

 A cheery morning, once we were up and breakfasted, and after I'd scrambled about in the loft, we drifted down to the studio where Lorraine threw some pots, and I fiddled with some visual ideas. Our CD player sprang back to life, and we had music and art and pottery going on. Which was rather idyllic.  To Morrisons, by foot as Lorraine's car has a flat, luckily a man is coming to sort that very tyre tomorrow. Home and a general frenzy of tidying in preparation for Brian and Yvonne. Lorraine cooked a tali, using the little trays and bowls and that was all rather lovely. Cheery night with lots of laughing. They gave Lorraine some PX sherry and I was surprised to be given some pencils and paper, and a wee drawing of me done by Brian. Below: knee pads. Mum paid for these, which Lorraine bought for my birthday last year. They are game changers, kneeling on the loft board, in the garden etc. with manly abandon.  

Outdoorsy healthy day. We surged purposefully into the garden, for weeding vegetable beds and while Lorraine planted,  I pruned hard an ancient rosemary bush and a leggy lemon verbena bush. The copious clippings went into the garden bin. I rarely suck in lungfuls of aromatic bin air, but I did today.  From here a walk down towards Tide Mills and looped back to the beach and home. Baby Enzo here for a sleepover tonight. Cheery little lovely boy he is. His sleep patterns were a bit messed up so he was over tired, and Lorraine couldn't get him to sleep. At about 9pm, Beth and James came to collect him. He went straight to sleep in the short car ride home. Below I like the small 'wild' part of the garden that Lorraine have sown with native plants. Meanwhile the shallow end of the little wildlife pond we put in here has dried out with only one downpour since March. The weather has predominantly been coming from the north east, so there are cool nights and dry sunny days with no ...

A red letter day, as Lorraine's pottery wheel was delivered. An excited Lorraine and I carried it down to the studio, and she soon was using it. Before that, I was recording with Robin. I said a few things about J.H.Prynne, which made me think of my old friend MSR.  I zoomed off to take fish and chips to Pat and Maureen, and hung out for a bit. Pat trying initially to eat with two forks bless him. Then I mooched off to walk by the sea. Home for a tad more editing on the short story, and in the evening off to The Old Boot Inn. Tonight's cast: Debbie, Delores, Andy and Patrick and L and I of course. Ended talking about philosophy, and Debbie particularly wants to start a philosophical conversation group. I have somewhat mixed feelings about this, because philosophy, in my experience as a former philosophy student, leads only to roaring and or peevish arguments.    Below , actually I took this yesterday. Liked the orange light on the white building and the blue sky at the en...

Lorraine collected Enzo and we had breakfast with him, he had a hobbits second breakfast of a pear and Weetabix mix. He adores Lorraine, but does seem genuinely pleased to see me too, which is wonderful. A bit of podcast prep this morning,  then recording some podcast banter with Robin. Just nice to catch up. I've missed talking to her.  Then lunch and playing with Enzo. In the afternoon to Drusilla's. Enzo certainly noticing the animals but when everything is new, a load of prairie dogs are just one more excitement. One monkey came to the window and loomed over him, which Enzo didn't much like. The swing was a great hit though. Grandparents in the car which parked next to us, and the woman talking lots to Lorraine as we left at the same time. Quite a few babies being taken there. Off this evening after dinner Lorraine and I sloped down to the women's institute, and tried to keep the flag shagging neofascists out of local government. What times we live in. Re-read The O...

Up early again enjoying sitting at my desk and thinking about words. After breakfast and Sylwia arriving Lorraine went off to Rhyme Time, and I spent a few hours editing the Kansas story, which I think is going to be called The Follower Followed or maybe just The Follower.  I hacked hundreds of words from it, and probably needs a bit more. It's still over six thousand words and its completion has been hampered by being ill and so on. Taking lots of time over something doesn't necessarily equal quality though.   I had a bite to eat, and then popped around to Melissa's house for a review of my drawings, which soon evolved into talking about art and life more generally. She's thinking of doing a performance piece later in the year, and is a properly creative person. I left with lots to think about. Talking with Melissa helped me realise I have been putting too much weight on the drawing and should just trust myself to explore the possibilities, rather than being goal focus...

Up early and prepping to interview Will Harris. We had problems with his sound, problems with wifi and so on, and I had to ask him to re read his poems at the end just to ensure we had clean versions. I found him genuinely interesting and I really liked him. The session lasted an hour and 40 minutes, but Will was very gracious about this. After this, Lorraine and I loaded up the car and took a load more recycling off to the recycling centre. While I was doing this I went through a lung cancer triage by phone-- this prompted by my local surgery as a free service. Thankfully, they said I am low risk and nothing needs to be done. One of the questions was about what sort of cigarettes have I smoked. Apparently one roll up cigarettes are twice as bad as normal ones.  At the recycling centre we drove right past the bays and out into the main road the other side. We had to go around again, which made us laugh. Then we went to this big Age UK warehouse, which is crammed full of furniture f...

I got up early and joined drawingisfree.org to drawing people's faces in an online zoom call for the length of a song. Adele told me all about it and sent me the link. My drawings were a bit cartoon-like, but it was very good practice. The convener asks attendees to volunteer to sit, and there are dozens of attendees and people willingly agree. Up and then off to Stratheden Court, to collect Pat and Maureen and bring them round to ours for the day. Some logistics needed what with wheelchairs and walkers and so on, but fairly easily achieved. Maureen especially enjoying a change of scene. Beth came around with her little sunshine boy for a couple of hours, which delighted them. Pat was really smiling and happy to see hm.  Enzo with a bit of help is almost standing, and always on the verge of crawling. But he is so communicative and bright and is sung to so often, and is doing things like clapping at the right point in songs.  A delicious curry made by Lorraine, we took them hom...

I was up very early for some reason. I am feeling far more positive than I've felt in a long while. I decided that 2026 officially started on May 1st. Took Lorraine a cup of tea and we planned our day. Soon we were surging purposefully into the garage, reclaiming the space to create our studio. We made real progress, and took a carload of stuff to recycling at the end of the day. I am beginning to become excited by the possibilities of that space.   A roast chicken this evening, episodes of Foundation, and all well. A gorgeous clematis flower in our garden.

A nice breakfast, and speaking to Mum,  L off to Eastbourne to see the Wizard of Oz with Beth and Enzo, in a production done by Beth's theatrical pals. The show greatly enjoyed, and Beth got to introduce Enzo to lots of friends. I made off to Brighton, and spent the afternoon with Anton playing dominoes and catching up on events since February, when we saw each other last. Wheelbarrow loads of news, and some of it difficult such as his Uncle John being seriously ill.  Anton's few days away in Spain with Camino very stressful due to worrying about the family, surviving the downsizing at work and so on. Thankfully my godbairns Klaudia and Oskar doing well. Also during the course of the afternoon learned about Anton's new craze, which is a sort of leather writing folder, and going to sit in quiet corners of pubs writing thoughtful and intriguing letters to Camino.  We met in the garden of the Battle of Trafalgar. This old favourite of ours, now a ghost ship under new owners....

To London this morning. Set off in sunshine and arrived in Edgware flitting between shadows as it seemed really hot to me. Two jewish men in Golders Green were stabbed in the street  earlier in the week, described as a terrorist attack by Government and media.  I wondered how people were feeling in Edgware, just a bus ride away, with a large jewish population. So much fear in the world. I found Mum in good spirits. We took a look at her filing, tax affairs etc.  It was soon clear that I need to with Mum overnight and spend a day filing and weeding out her bazillion documents as they make her heart sink.  This agreed, we slid off to the Waggon and Horses. Men were touching up the paint on the outside of the pub, and in the iconic waggon by the roadside. The pub smelt of paint a bit, and there was a new dartboard installed in the corner. Perhaps darts will make a comeback there. Had a light lunch and enjoyed a chat with Mum and some Guinness. Steve and a friend of his ...

Up and another blessed night of sleeping. I feel so much better for it. Lorraine zoomed off to Beth's house early. I bent over in the bathroom and felt my bloody back go into a nasty spasm, but I was able to walk it off. To drawing class in the Women's Institute. Melissa called me Peter Kenny today which made me smile. Lovely graceful model named Carys. Enjoyed drawing a little more today, but don't feel I'm drawing at my best. After the class I made off to the exhibition in the Crypt, where Adele, who had been in my drawing class, and Mandy were overseeing. Palo and Martin happened to be there. Had not seen Palo for ages, and I had a nice chat with her and Martin, who has been writing a novel for months, and talked to me more than he has ever done. Nice to see them both.  Then home. Lorraine arrived with Enzo. Soon Dawn arrived, and we all spent the afternoon together. Dawn is about to be a grandmother too, so was very excited about that. Lovely to see her. She's b...

Noticeable how much more I can focus than a week or so ago. The brain fog is abating I hope. I sent some questions to Will Harris ahead of next week's interview, and later did a little editing of the never ending Kansas story. Also made time to watch King Charles's speech to Congress. I'm not a royalist, but even I have to admit it was a good speech and he delivered it well. The speech cast things in historical perspectives, which seemed to suggest that the Trump idiocracy will soon be just another historical period.   Off this afternoon for an eye test. Fortunately my eye health is good. I've ordered a bifocal pair for intermediate and reading, and a longer distance pair for watching TV at night when my eyes are tired. After this, off for a walk, after no rain in April, the ground is cracking, which I find a bit shocking. When I was a young lad, April was a month of showers.   Home and a bit of time with Lorraine before she left for her class. I snuck off and got mysel...

Lorraine off to her personal trainer, and then met up with the walking heads, a group of ex-heads who meet up and walk. For me a productive day. Up and after breakfast finished the two books, Rendang and Brother Poem , by Will Harris, and began to form questions for him in my mind. For me it's all about setting small targets and achieving them.  Then off on a walk around Tide Mills, pushing back against the anxiety of open spaces, and did a circular walk today I'd not managed before. The thing I've learned recently from revisiting CBT is that avoiding what unnerves you is the worst thing you can do. As long as I feel in control and stepping up in gradual increments I will get there. Home and a bit of writing, and chatted to Mum. Lorraine back having done loads of exercise. We had an early dinner, I fixed a hinge in the glasshouse, then we went around the corner to see a local art exhibition in the Crypt, where saw arty friends such as Adele and Mandy and Eileen, and bought...

Still bleary after sleeping on my pile of pillows, and of course doing some coughing, which filled me with despair at 1:30am but I got to sleep soon after. A better night's sleep. Up and editing an interview Robin had done. Also emails with Will Harris, an excellent poet I will interview next week. And a chat with Mum, and arranging to go to see her at the end of the week. Lorraine up early and spent the day with Maureen, and arrived home later with three chilli plants and a big lamp stand bought in a charity shop for £10. Just what we needed. Off early this afternoon to get my eyes tested. Luckily my eyes are healthy, and the close work hasn't deteriorated. Distance is a smidge worse, and I have bought some distance glasses for watching TV and films etc. I also bought super-readers, these combine my close reading lenses with my arms-length focus, so when I'm working I can look at the screen and scraps of paper and books with the same glasses.  A walk along the sea back, fe...

A day to spark up the first barbecue of the year. I cooked a whole chicken and some sausages, and the barbecue behaved itself excellently. Beth and James and Enzo arrived first, then Rosie and Innis. Rosie had bought salad, and Beth potato wedges and Lorraine made a lovely roulade. Sat outside eating and enjoying several drinks in the sun.  Rosie's car however had problems and the alarm kept going off and the electrics had malfunctioned. Luckily Rosie eventually realised she had RAC membership and a man came around to fix it. They also bought Pippi the dog, and a bubble machine.  I enjoyed myself, but again feeling a veil of weariness between myself and events. Good to see everyone. A relaxed evening. Chelsea won the FA Cup semifinal, so are in the FA cup final again this year. Having deposed their 'supply teacher' manager, they remembered to play today, edging it against dirty Leeds. Below Rosie and Pippi and Beth and Enzo and lots of bubbles. Enjoyed playing with Enzo. H...

Off to see the Sassarini at Brighton Marina today. Plan A was to bus there, but the buses were oddly doomed today, so we had to drive. We met Mike outside Asda and went on a ramble around the Marina with him, walking through area's I'd never noticed before. Mike in good shape, apart from having had sciatica in his leg, which precipitated a fall on his knee, so he was hobbling about somewhat. Mike recovering from a ghastly period of work difficulties, and people reneging on payments and so on.  They had a really nice apartment, and it was lovely to see Zina again. Back from Russia after her first visit to see relatives in many years. I asked her about the Russian perspective on Ukrainians, given that her family is partly Ukrainian. She said the Russians think they are cheeky, which made me laugh. While we were together, Toby called me, and of course he wished he was with us. Zina laid on an amazing spread of food, and cooked delicious chicken wings, coated in special rubs with e...

Exhausted morning after coughing all night. Lorraine filled out a triage form for me first thing, and I ended up going to the doctor this afternoon. My chest has no alarming sounds. The doctor suggested it was acid reflux. I was dubious about this, but could see that this makes you cough which then triggers your sore lungs, and you're away. On reflection think she may be right.  A lovely sunny pleasant day. I did some writing this morning. Lorraine with Maureen and Pat. I met Lorraine on the seafront with Pat and sat in the sun, with a cloud of little flies settling on us. Pat enjoying the warmth. Then Lorraine and pushed him to the fish and chip shop to buy Pat and Maureen's lunch. After pushing him to Stratheden, I made off to the doctors.  In the evening we went to The Old Boot Inn. Lots of people to celebrate Lorraine's birthday and to have the usual Friday beer and pub grub.  Yvonne and Brian, Andy and Helen, Adele and Patrick, Steve, Mandy, Andy, Guy and Barbara. A ...

A busy day. Off to my drawing class this morning. I feel marginally better than I did this time last week, which is helping me monitor my progress. I enjoyed the morning. Once or twice I felt I was getting into a flow, just as Melissa asked me to compare parts of my drawing and I'd see some hideous error. Gah. I feel I'm going backwards in all directions. Melissa is lovely, however, and I enjoyed seeing Adele and Debbie, and Kate and my other drawing pals. Young Enzo at home. Beth came to collect him at tea time, and Lorraine and I made off to Seaford Station where we met Delores. To Lewes Depot to watch Project Hail Mary, an enjoyable SF movie starring Ryan Gosling. A very light touch to the film, with some comedic moments and enjoyable plot twists. We all really enjoyed it. Really nice escapism. Home again, after L and I drank a pint of mild in the Lewes Depot, instead of waiting on the platform. Delores gave up alcohol completely almost three months ago. From there to Seafor...

Lorraine's birthday, which she enjoyed lots. Tea in bed, and opening assorted pressies and cards, then made off to do Rhyme Time at the Library. After this, and she popped in to see Pat and Maureen, Beth, Lorraine and Enzo collected me and made off to Mamoosh for lunch for some absolutely delicious falafel based goodness. A few people coming over to adore the wee boy.  Home again, then Lorraine went to Eastbourne to do her pottery course, returned having had undivided attention from the tutor, as all other attendees couldn't make it. This gave her plenty of time to discuss wheels. She arrived home again exhilarated by throwing pots, and having had a cheery day.  My lovely Lorraine this morning. 

I slept really well, last night, and it made  a huge difference. Awake fairly early so cheerful that I bought some tee-shirts on my phone.   Breakfast, then Lorraine off to her personal trainer, and then see her pal Sarah, who she used to work with at Bolney. I hopped on a bus, and made off to Brighton on this beautiful bright morning where I bought Lorraine a book on making pottery with a wheel from Waterstones. Back in Seaford a short walk by the sea and an interlude in Morrisons.  Home, and L and I popped round to see a relaxed post Spanish holiday Patrick and Adele and look at the pottery wheel we want to buy from them for Lorraine's birthday.  Lorraine sat at the wheel, and Patrick showed us how this particular wheel worked. Home, and I cooked salmon with a noodles and a stir fry. We watched some episodes of Foundation , which is a really great SF show. Below a sailboarder on the sea.

Only a few hours sleep, due to more coughing. Off to London to see Mum. Just as the train was pulling in at Seaford, I realised I had no phone with my rail pass etc. so had to go home again. Told Mum I would be half an hour late. Almost a month since I saw Mum last due to the virus. Felt pleasure in noticing how much fuller and greener the landscape was. Lots of French people climbing on the train at Newhaven, from the ferry, crowding onto the shabby little train and asking each other if they were in Première classe.  Climbing the hill in Hampstead, walked past a delivery many who was singing beautifully in what I imagined was an Indian language as he unloaded. I stopped to listen and he said hello to me at the end of a verse. Mum in good spirits when we met, and we zoomed off to the The Old White Bear. Flask Walk looking very pretty, and wisteria flowering and Spanish bluebells in front gardens.  Mum delighted that the man she calls the parson was in the pub. A youngish talli...

It was Innis's stag do today. I missed out on a cool stone carving session led by Graham. However, Lorraine drove me to the Old Albion in the evening where Innis was having drinks. All his stags brought him books, so I gave him one, and had written a kind of poem which I tucked into it, and which I think touched him. Enjoyed getting to know Innis's brothers Finlay and Campbell, and chats with Tim and other pals of Innis. The Albion is a pub where you can bring your own food or have it delivered. Eve, Innis's lovely daughter, ordered some pizza, and also had arrived with loads of crips and peanuts. I thoroughly enjoyed myself for a couple of hours before losing energy. Luckily Lorraine was just around the corner at Rosie's flat, drove me home.   Home to watch Chelsea lose on Match of the Day to Manchester United. The new manager, unfairly dubbed 'LinkedIn Liam' may not last much longer on these results. A snap of Enzo with his grandparents squinting in the sun.  

Tried to get on with something like normal life. Dipped my toe into the water, by going to life drawing, just around the corner. Nice to chat with Melissa and Debbie and a new man called John. A male model I've drawn before. I was struggling to get any likeness today,  and after a couple of hours I felt extremely tired.   Baby Enzo with us when I got home, as Beth has restarted work today.  Enzo sleeping after a disrupted night, and I sparked out on the gold sofa too after the rigours of drawing. He was a bit alarmed when Lorraine gave him to me, as he hasn't seen me for a few weeks.  The afternoon I joined join the understory group from my study. I was able to vent a little in a supportive space with Charlotte, Emma, Marilyn and Linda, felt better for it, and also understood. Also interested by other people's interesting work and thoughts.   Exhausted after this, I did not go to the needle writers reading in Lewes, where I was hoping to see Robin and other pals...

Much better night's sleep, but still a shadow of a man. Trying not to infect Lorraine with glumness. I set myself small targets, while reminding myself how lucky I am despite feeling at a very low ebb.  Lorraine off for an invigorating session with her personal trainer. I ordered some books and contacted a poet about being interviewed by me for the podcast, went for a walk, taking a photograph for six Frenchmen standing by their two old mini cars parked up by the sea. I should have taken one for myself. They were clearly on some obscure car related jaunt, and were living their best lives. Lorraine gardening steadily, when I got home. I brought out the garden furniture from the garage. Spoke to Mum at tea time, I'm intending to see her next Monday, hopefully I shall be recovered enough by then. Then cooked for the first time in a week. A nice chicken and lentil curry. Lorraine crocheting a finger puppet pig on the cold sofa. More of the excellent Foundation , which we are really...

To the pharmacy first thing as I have an inflamed eye.  I stepped into the pharmacy, and immediately began a coughing fit to spread dismay. Walked home by the sea, which look, clean and beautiful. In the afternoon spoke to James our financial advisor. I never thought I'd have one of those but there you go. James, reflecting on the good performance of our investment, said saying the markets have learned how to accommodate Trump with the 'taco' doctrine. (taco=Trump Always Chickens Out as I learned in the Rest is Politics US. A second walk down by the restoring sea. Bumped into Beth outside the nursery at three.   Otherwise heard from Robin about arranging some recording. Felt guilty that all I've been dormant for the last three weeks. Chatted to Mum a couple of times who is worried about correspondence from the local authority, but can't find it to read it to me. Not much I can do about that at the moment. Lorraine spends the day with Maureen. We watched more of Foun...

Lorraine had a hen day. Off with Beth to Hotel Du Vin, where Rosie and her hens had a splendid time.  One moment where there were hints of a stripper, but the door opened to reveal a cardboard cutout of Innis in his life guard gear. The ladies also had a session learning how to mixing assorted fragrant oils.  I had a rooster day. Main event a walk by the sea for thirty mins, which is a record for the week. Fish and chips later. Once Lorraine was home, we watched   Foundation on Apple TV. Enjoyably doomy and complex. And some footie too. Compelling Arsenal psychodrama. Arsenal swept all before them, amid talk of an unprecedented quadruple. After a disastrous couple of weeks, I find it painful to watch Mikel Arteta, Arsenal's manager, rigid with anxiety, as he stalks the touchline as glory slips through his fingers yet again.  An actual payment came through today, via PayPal, for the poem Gardening With My Wife , just appearing in Ireland's Channel magazine.  Bel...

Still coughing till I'm ragged at night. Lorraine off to Paul her hairdresser, then she went to see Pat and Maureen. I read more Raymond Chandler, managed a ten minute walk which felt like plenty.  Watched a couple of couple of episodes of Foundation, a big budget TV series on Apple TV based on Isaac Asimov stories. Sometimes even doomy SF takes you out of yourself.  Lorraine bought a chicken and leek pie at Canham's in Hove today. It was gorgeous. Saw the meme below today. It spoke to me.  

Improving albeit at a glacial pace, and hacking and sweating at night still. L and I drifted about the garden, while Lorraine did a bit of weeding, discussing flower business for half an hour before heading back to the gold sofa. Finished The Long Good-bye , brilliant stuff right to the end.  There was a drawing class, which I had to miss.  I will look back on this last few weeks and think of it as my Chandler phase. Starting with The Little Sister now. I also downloaded an audiobook comprised of BBC radio dramas of the stories.  Mum thinks the fox is pregnant. She had Ben around fixing curtains for her. In the evening Lorraine and I watched an episodes of Grace, an ITV cop show starring John Simm, set and filmed in Brighton.  One scene in The Cricketers was shot at the tables Lorraine and I used to sit in when first dating. Can't quite name the feeling this engenders. As for Grace , glimpses of Brighton steal the show but to me the writing feels clunky.

Only an hour of coughing in the night, so a much better sleep. During the day felt more optimistic, as if the first faint lights of Covid recovery can be glimpsed in the east. The deadline for Trump to begin committing war crimes passed in the night. Perhaps delusional, I had not feared Trump would do it. Instead some ten point plan presented via Pakistan, was accepted as the basis of a negotiation. Israel is already balking, and the list looks unachievable. The US has not looked so weak and risible in my lifetime.  Lorraine on full throttle. Off to deliver Rhyme Time first thing, then went round to be with Beth and Enzo, who were joined by Rosie and Emily, and one of the twins, and Beth's friend Lucy to discuss hair. Then Lorraine went off to Eastbourne to do pottery and was pleased with her results.  Mostly alone today, but feeling brighter. Getting to the end of  The Long Goodbye now.  I'd say it was the most literary of the novels so far, the narrator becoming u...

At last an improved sleep. Not many coughing fits, so managed whole hours of sleep. I wish I felt better once up. Started the day with a massive coughing fit for an hour or so, and felt fed up and tired for most of the day.  Popped outside with Lorraine into the garden for a bit. Gorgeous day, which was lovely. Maureen's birthday today, obviously had to avoid this. But Lorraine, Beth and Enzo sat with them outside by the sea for a few hours. Spoke to Mum. Anton called me, now back at work after a weekend of decorating. Enjoying The Long Goodbye  which I am reading in short bursts. Lorraine becoming steadily stronger. Lorraine in our back garden. 

Lorraine definitely brightening now, despite retaining a cough. She saw Beth and Enzo from a distance in their garden, and popped around to see Pat and Maureen. No easter eggs for Lorraine or I.  Another execrable night's sleep for me, I'm exhausted by coughing and now have a feeble croak for a voice. Much of the day on the gold sofa, reading more of The Long Goodbye , by Chandler in between short sleeps.  Mum spent the afternoon with Monica and Oktay. I had a good chat with Tobs. Otherwise little to report. To bed early, and trying to stay positive. So much Easter Monday. 

Another horrible night. Feeling properly ill now, on Easter Sunday. My chest is making accordion noises. Spoke to Mum who is mercifully okay.  Lorraine taking care of me, and ventured out shopping after popping in on Pat and Maureen. Roast chicken. What a waste of time being ill is. I can't focus enough to do writing at the moment. Gah.

My ability to smell seems to have gone, another Covid indicator. A sleepless night wracked with continual coughing and sore throat. The opposite to the night before slept for a few hours, with waking up to cough every few minutes, then bleakly awake after 4am. Did have a couple of hours before I got up.  A tauntingly beautiful day. I went into the garden for a nice cough, but otherwise sat wanly on the Gold Sofa watching TV. My brain barely able to function. Watched a French documentary on the Chauvet Cave art. Wonderful. Then I watched Chelsea stroll seven goals past Port Vale in the quarter finals of the FA Cup which happened to be on TV.  Chatted to Mum too.  Lorraine ordered us in a curry tonight. Curiously tasteless because of being unable to smell anything. I had a sip of Lorraine's beer, not wanting to drink, but gave it back as it tasted nasty. A truly disconcerting development. Watched Extraordinary Portraits on TV.  Then to bed. Dreading it.  Beautiful...

Wretched night. Throat and coughing abominable. Lorraine making inching progress, but well enough to drive to  M&S to buy some ready meals for Pat and Maureen. Maureen has a cold and we're hoping it's not going to develop into whatever plague we've got.  A long chat with Anton, who is using the Easter hols to continue decorating his house. Spoke to Mum too, who had her brother Alex's wife Eileen visiting this afternoon. Finished  The Lady in the Lake  by Raymond Chandler. He is such as skilful writer. Generally adhered to the gold sofa and tried, sometimes successfully, not to be whiny. Lorraine is an excellent wife.

Feeling worse today, coughing like a barking seal. Throat feels as if there is a cactus lodged in it.  This bug has really outstayed its welcome and now look set to ruin Easter.  Lorraine says she thinks it is covid, despite it not showing up in the test we did for her last weekend.  She's taking a long time to recover. She went for a blood test this morning, and saw Pat and Maureen, but she still is very washed out and has an evil cough. I slept in the afternoon, and Lorraine cooked. Boring, but mindful of the fact that I am ill in my own comfy home and all is well. Cups of tea and paracetamol for the win. Bah.

Another day aboard the plague ship. A horrible night's sleep with a raw throat, my cough now a nasty bark, I seem to be getting worse. Lorraine, still slowly improving but still not great either. I had to cancelled an evening out with Anton.  Instead I watched all four episodes of Adolescence on Netflix. It is one of the best things I have ever seen on TV. Fantastically good performances, wonderful direction, a beautifully written tragedy about a 13 year old boy who, influenced by online bullying and incel culture, commits a horrific crime. Also listened to a podcast from the Rest Is History People, but about books. It is called The Book Club. They were discussing 1984 in the episode I listened to. It's a well made podcast, hosted by Dominic Sandbrook and Tabitha Syrett.  Looked at the Kansas story again, but my brain is a but mushy to do too much.   Spoke to Mum, who had Ben around fixing up the curtain in the living room. She seemed in decent spirits, and Eileen, ...

Lorraine still unwell but making slow progress. Still needing breakfast in bed and generally taking care of. I was up early and sent off Snowfall , the short story I'd been revising recently, to a magazine called Superlative -- The Literary Journal. Then I pressed on with editing the Kansas story, which I will probably rename before I release it into the wild. I went for a short walk by the sea this afternoon, and popped into the supermarket.  Once home, my throat flared up and I felt quite ill. Cooked a decent chicken stew, and sat about feebly. Enjoying The Lady in the Lake by Raymond Chandler. A proper page turner.  Snaps by the sea, which looked really green in real life, proving that I did actually make it out today. Also the chaenomeles Dawn gave us in our front garden, a gorgeous flower.   

Up and feeling like getting on with things. Did some writing, then took Lorraine breakfast. She is still unwell, but better than she was. In between looking after her, had a quietly industrious day trimming and tightening a little story called Snowfall   I'd written a while ago. Also published another substack post. Otherwise, drearily, I have a sore throat and a bit of a cough.  Grateful that neither of us has to go to work. 

Sunday. Started The Lady in the Lake by Raymond Chandler. Love the way you become instantly  immersed in the story. This reminds me of P.G. Wodehouse: a brilliant skill to hook the reader  immediately.  Later, I spoke to Mum who was fine and just about to go next door. Lorraine recovering but still with a way to go, and a nasty cough. I'm taking care of her as best as I can.  Some fiddling about with words, and doing another Substack. I aim to do three a month. A last-minute Morrisons. Cooked a roast dinner, sprawled on the gold sofa.  Found out at last about the Live Canon shortlisting asking the new Google AI:   B ased on search results, there is a significant, urgent update regarding Live Canon Poetry. Live Canon Poetry (11714976) was marked as "Dissolved" at Companies House on March 17, 2026. This dissolution explains the lack of communication, the failure to announce competition results, and the silence reported by applicants since January 2026. M y s...

A necessarily quiet day. We had to cry off from a night out at Sally and Marek's in Brighton tonight. Took Lorraine breakfast in bed, she is improved, though still in need of lots of rest. Wasn't worried about her like I was yesterday.  I spoke to Mum, who was off to meet Robert in the pub. Then I made off to see Pat and Maureen to take them some medications and a delivery of two summer blouses that had arrived at our place. Maureen full of dangerous ideas about panelling one of the walls in the living room, and she enlarged on her theory that Lorraine does too much, which is why she is ill.  Home after a short stroll by the greenish sea. Lorraine fed and watered, I did some writing for a substack post, and in the afternoon, popped out to buy tamari sauce for the stir fry I made later. Lorraine a tad brighter as the day wore on.  I finished reading The High Window , by Raymond Chandler, and we watched the last couple of episodes of Small Prophets , which was quirky and or...

Lorraine definitely unwell this morning, and her cough is really bad and breathing was hard. I made her do a covid test: negative. During covid I bought a blood oxygen meter and Lorraine wanted to check this level, and we got a slightly alarming reading from it. I phoned 111 and not long after the local surgery called. Lorraine went in wearing two face masks, Beth, with Enzo in the baby seat, drove us to the surgery. We were seen very quickly. They did a blood oxygen test which was normal, so all well. Vitals all okay, it's just has a nasty virus that needs plenty of liquids and rest and so on. Good to get it checked out though. Home again in the Betty's lipstick red car.  Then I simply looked after Lorraine, popped out for shopping, cooked and tidied. Lorraine improving over the day but being made to rest. Former ward sisters are not necessarily optimal patients.

Lorraine unwell, with the shivers and cold symptoms overnight. Made her a hot water bottle and found the wooly Canadian socks that Joan had given me ages ago and put them on her feet. These seemed to make a big difference. In the morning I took Lorraine breakfast in bed, and did my best to look after her today. Having seen Mum yesterday I began to worry I'd passed this new lurgy on to her. But she was philosophical about it when we spoke. The CBT work I'm doing says there are worries you can do something about and others that you can't. Worrying about things you can't change is futile. A useful  reminder for me. It's funny how the most useful things to be told are often the most blindingly obvious.  Met Robin online this morning to discuss the next two episodes of Planet Poetry, which will be new ones. I always feel braced and more purposeful after we talk. Then to Brighton, as the train pulled in I glimpsed John McCullough standing alone on the platform so distinct...

Lorraine slightly sniffy this morning, but she went to do Rhyme Time, and I made off up to Hampstead to meet mum at the station at 12:30. As usual I stopped off at the Runaway Cafe in Lewes station for a cup of Ceylon tea. Today none of the electronic card readers worked just as I was buying my drink. There was a busy queue, so they gave me mine free. Few people carry cash these days.  Met Mum and we toddled down Flask Walk turning the corner by the school and up to The White Bear, where we were met in a friendly and very shouty way by the landlady. We sat in our usual corner, Mum looking in vain for the Parson. We had a couple of drinks, and soups and apple crumbles with coffee later. All very pleasant. And a new guy starting today, keen to make a good impression. Mum told me about going to John's funeral the day before. Her friends Margaret and John, just lived around the corner, and neighbours attended. After the service, there was a reception at a gold club for cups of tea and ...

Lorraine off to her personal trainer. For me, a good morning's writing. I published a new piece on substack about impostor syndrome  and pressed on with the Kansas story. Otherwise had longish walk by the sea off to Splash Point which was properly living up to its name. A cold wintery day, but I felt in a positive mood. Lorraine a bit snuffly tonight.