under another sun

Unprecedented scenes this morning, with Lorraine and I watching TV over breakfast: highlights of England's unexpected victory over Mexico at the Azteca Stadium. I felt sorry for the Mexicans, having met many nice ones on a trip to Mexico deep in the last century. A couple of hours editing this morning, almost finished editing the interview now. I notice hesitancy is contagious, and Will and I were setting each other off. No problem, as it all comes out in the edit. I liked him. At lunch off to Brighton by bus to get a haircut. Stacy in what Innis calls monkey mind mode, asking questions but barely listening to the answers. He never takes a holiday, and looked shattered. About to board a 12 back to Seaford, when a speedy 12x came on the bus stop board as being just three minutes away. Waited for the 12x which, being a phantom bus, never appeared. A long wait, reminding myself of my lifelong commuting credo: a bus or train that's actually here is better than a possible one. The g...

Spoke to Mum first thing, just to confirm she was okay. She was. Tyre men arrived to do Lorraine's car. Lorraine zoomed off to do Rhyme time, Sylwia arrived to clean the house and I repaired to my study to listen to and tweak Robin's cut of the podcast. This done I made off to Brighton for a haircut. Stacy on good form. It began hailing and lashing rain while I was there. Everyone in the barbers talking sadly about three women who drowned in the sea off Brighton in the early hours of the day. I wondered if Innis had been involved. It turned out he had been part of this upsetting day. Hail and lashing rain. I scurried back to the station. Collected my super reader glasses from Specavers, which combine close reading at the bottom with arms length focus at the top. They take getting used to and made me feel a bit woozy.  Made it home shortly before hail, hard rain and thunder.  Bit more podcast stuff. And a relaxed evening. Although called again because Mum set off her pendant ag...

Lorraine unwell, with the shivers and cold symptoms overnight. Made her a hot water bottle and found the wooly Canadian socks that Joan had given me ages ago and put them on her feet. These seemed to make a big difference. In the morning I took Lorraine breakfast in bed, and did my best to look after her today. Having seen Mum yesterday I began to worry I'd passed this new lurgy on to her. But she was philosophical about it when we spoke. The CBT work I'm doing says there are worries you can do something about and others that you can't. Worrying about things you can't change is futile. A useful  reminder for me. It's funny how the most useful things to be told are often the most blindingly obvious.  Met Robin online this morning to discuss the next two episodes of Planet Poetry, which will be new ones. I always feel braced and more purposeful after we talk. Then to Brighton, as the train pulled in I glimpsed John McCullough standing alone on the platform so distinct...

Woke up after a nightmare, where I had suddenly remembered that I had murdered two people, and felt (still in the dream) utterly horrified at myself.  Up and off to Melissa's drawing class... Another older male model. I tried something different: not taking my pencil off the page and trying to draw in a continuous line, and not be afraid to make mistakes. I quite enjoyed it. Off this afternoon to see Stacy, to get my hair cut. Raining of course, so I got home with wet hat hair. Stacy less stressed than when I last saw him. Happy to be staying in tonight, as the weather was foul again. Below some sketches keeping the pencil on the page, and Sydney Street in the rain.

Shocked to have tea brought to me in bed by Lorraine, who is using the two hour time difference to Greece to her advantage. She had found the purse she had hidden before we had gone away on holiday. It had taken two days of intermittent searching.  I made off to life drawing. We were drawing an older man. I found myself a bit more relaxed about drawing. I realise I've been through a patch of expecting myself to be better, and feeling a bit disappointed. I found I forgot about that, and just got on with it more today, and so I enjoyed it much more. Mellisa says I need to be more fearless in my drawing. She is right. Feeling extremely tired this afternoon. But made off to Brighton, using my free bus pass, to get a haircut. Still outbreaks of flags in Newhaven, and central Seaford. Denton Roundabout which was a nest of flags, now free of them thankfully. They go up, they get taken down.   Stacy in Gandalf mode today, long hair and beard. But did his usual perfectionists job on mi...

Breakfast with Lorraine. Claudia and Jonas, went off to see Pat and Maureen, and they spent the afternoon with them, and eating fish and chips for supper.  I however zoomed over to London Road station, and walked up to Osborne Road through Blaker's Park, now green again. I collected Lorraine's mobile phone which had been mistakenly delivered to our old address. Slightly cringing, as the last time we'd those people, I was having dark thoughts about them on the day of moving out. Our old house not much different, I knocked at the door I'd painted, and glanced into the house to see not much had changed since we were there. The new owner, very friendly, and said that they felt like proper five ways people now. I walked the familiar route uphill towards Hollingbury, then cut down Surrenden Road, across Preston Park and into town to get a haircut from Stacy. Felt like I knew every step of everywhere I went. I asked Stacy if he'd had any break from work this year, and it s...

More recording with Robin this morning, chatting and having a laugh. In the afternoon off to see Stacy to get a shearing. Stacy chatty and looking like a wizard with large beard and long hair. I asked him about it and he says after a day of cutting hair, the last thing you want to do is do anything to your own. I paid him using some of the poetry reading cash, which felt good. Poems for haircuts -- that's a sound business idea right there. Meanwhile Lorraine spent much of the day taking Pat and Maureen to Eastbourne to meet a couple of their old Ashford pals.  Once home Lorraine decompressing on the gold sofa, listened to the episode and did a bit of tweaking. Then I cooked a cheeky stir fry, but once I got going I realised I had no soy sauce so had to substitute Worcestershire sauce. Close but no cigar.   The Sassarinis are thinking of moving to Brighton. We shall see them on one of their reconnaissance missions soon.

Got up early and at my desk, but not terribly productively. Had breakfast with Lorraine, then later I took myself off to Brighton. I walked up from London Road station to Hollingbury Hillfort to my old haunts. A gorgeous sunny day. Then down again, walked along Osborne Road. Had forgotten just how much our old road rises. Was pleased to be going downhill. Then through Preston Park, where I stopped in the cafe for a large mug of splosh and a sausage roll. Then off to see Stacy to get a much needed haircut. Sat in the seat like Jabba the Hut and watched him perform his usual magic, coaxing the thinning hair on the top of my head into some kind of smooth pelt. Stacy and Mick the other barber saying they had the January Blues. Home and I cooked this evening for Lorraine and I and we were very happy to snuggle indoors on the gold sofa. I walked just under 14k paces not that much but my best for some while. Below the wall of Hollingbury Hillfort with two golfers ambling by, on the way down a...

Up and off to de-fright myself for Halloween by training off to Brighton. A coffee around the corner from the barbers, the bought more green ink from Pen to Paper for the wee pen Anton got me. Despite its association with poison pen letters I am loving writing in my favourite colour. Then into Clippers to let Stacy do his thing. Lots of banter today. I like being so much a part of the wallpaper there. Harry the Bastard due next week.   Then back to Seaford for a two hour on the understory conversation. It was only Emma and Charlotte today for various health reasons. Read them the first part of the Kenniad. Nevertheless a good session, and they liked my poem very much and so I was much encouraged.  A walk afterwards, and reached my daily step target. Walked out later to the station to pick up Lorraine who had been hanging out with Rosie this afternoon, and they had egged each other on to do a spot of retail therapy. I got some new underpants, so was well happy.   Lorraine ...

Sam and Pat's actual birthdays today. Lorraine went out for lunch with Pat and Maureen, and had a good chat with Sam, who although not doing birthdays, was in good spirits. Lorraine sent him one of her crocheted bags. A morning being able to focus, which was marvellous. Have a sense, which I hope is not an illusion, of making a large step forward with the poems, and refining what the project is all about.  In the afternoon off to Brighton to get my hair cut. As last time a the same bloke walked in and started talking insultingly to Stacy about when his appointment was and so on. By chance he appeared last time I went there. He is a client Stacy inherited called Barry the Nightmare, and is in his phone by that name, which Stacy said was awkward when Barrry the Nightmare looked at Stacy's phone the other day. Stacy also told me I wash my hair too much. Then to my traditional ideologically unsound Starbucks, which has had a bit of a refurbishment to make it slightly less welcomin...

Editing at eightish, which took a couple of hours as there was a something wrong with my channel on part of the recording, then sent it back to Robin and wrote the episode show notes. Then off to the Polling Station round the corner to vote. The only local political type lurking by the door wondering if you'd voted was from the Lib Dems. We voted tactically for the Lib Dems as they were much more likely to beat the incumbent Tory.   Home to write the blurb for the poddy, then made off to Brighton by bus, as there had been some kind of points failure between here and Lewes. Lovely journey, very windy and very sunny, with just a few little clouds and the sea white capped and greenish.   Went into the jewellers to return Lorraine's ring from which a stone had fallen out, they were very nice about it and will replace the missing stone. Then down to see Stacy to sort out my hair. Brighton lively, and the Pavilion gardens packed out, and parties of foreign school kids filing up Nort...

Another beautiful day. Friday, so Lorraine off to give Story Time. I called Mum, and did a spot of light admin, then met Yvonne for coffee in the Grumpy Chef cafe, nice and funny to gossip with her as ever, hearing about her recent holiday, and the ghastliness of waiting weeks for medical test results, which were, it turned out, fine. Then to Brighton for a much-needed haircut. Arriving a bit early, I bought a hot sausage roll as a treat from the real sausage company. Emerging from there I bumped into Anton, who'd left his desk to do a bit of shopping. He was in shorts and floral shirt with skulls and so on, and mocking at my long trousers and light jumper and white shirt. Nice to be in Brighton, thronging with people of all sorts. Arrived early, but Stacy had finished his previous customer in record time, being a famously annoying local character, whose parting shots were to mock Stacy for his name, and telling him it was a girl's name. When I left some time later, shorn and s...

Woke up feeling stressed. But sitting talking to Lorraine made me feel much better, however. Up for an unhurried breakfast, called Mum and eventually Lorraine and I made off to Brighton. I went to Clippers to have my hair cut by Stacy, who had squeezed me into his Saturday schedule. I asked him about his nosebleeds (he was bleeding last time I saw him) and he told me that he went to A&E and had to have his nose cauterised, twice, as the first time it didn't work. Apart from a sore nose, he's all good now. Met Lorraine and then a rather wild bout of retail therapy. Went to Jones and bought a pair of tan ankle boots for loafing about in. Lorraine and I popped into Joe Malone, where Lorraine bought some perfume off a very sweet man with lots of makeup. Another man working there in lots of makeup and bell bottoms took tiny little steps like a geisha. Rather fascinating. Then off to Clarkes in Churchill Square. Strange in there, very little stock on show, but what there was artf...

Lorraine in Ashford this morning. I got up early, thanks to the pesky cats standing on me, and after breakfast went to my desk and had a productive morning, and got another short MS sent off. Feeling a bit under the weather still. In the afternoon, made my way to Brighton. Just missed the train at Seaford so I caught a bus, and enjoyed its pootle along the coastal road, looking down from the top deck at the white sea, and waves breaking over the Marina. Grey loveliness. Went to see Stacy to get a haircut. He told me he had been having worryingly heavy nosebleeds, and had a small one while he cut my hair, finishing my cut with a wad of tissue in his nose. Felt sorry for him, and suggested he go to the quack if they continue. Just missed the train at Brighton.  Home, and I cooked and lurked in waiting for Lorraine to get home.  Very happy to have her back.  Reflected light in Brighton station. Just liked the evening blue of the sky and the yellow light inside. 

Awake before dawn, and pulled the curtains to see the dawn over a grey and Lorraine-less Seaford.  A shower, and breakfast with sleepy cats. A bit tired and wan. Spoke to Lorraine this morning.  First order of the day was a bit of Santa business. Brian called around with the costume, which I put on at home, and then we drove across Seaford to his house, nobody we passed even noticed Santa was sat in the passenger seat. At Brian's a three year old Jude and baby Sebastian with their mum Annabelle and Yvonne. I found it quite easy to get back into Santa mode, and enjoyed myself immensely. Brian had a list that Jude had written containing two items, a dinosaur and a train. I clarified if the dinosaur was a toy dinosaur otherwise it would be hard to get down the chimney and liberally deployed the ho-ho-hos and Santa banter and the whole thing ended in a certain amount of comedy dancing. Yvonne handed me a glass of port, with a straw, and I sipped it through my nylon beard. Then sli...

Up early, sending off the latest version of the podcast to Robin for a final edit, and (finally) my books to my accountant, and getting my ducks in a row for Clare Best's book launch in London, where I am to be MC. Clare has sent meticulous notes about it.  Lorraine took a morning stroll and did a spot of shopping. Then, after picking more tomatoes, Lorraine and I moving stuff and unscrewing curtain rails and so on in our bedroom, and a bathroom cabinet, and moved beds and cupboards and so on, so our bedroom can be painted by Amanda. Off this afternoon to Brighton, passing a shrine of photos and flowers on Queen's Road where a young 17 year old boy called Mustafa was stabbed to death last Thursday. I mooched down and had my hair cut by Stacy. He said there had been a second stabbing last night in Trafalgar Street -- after discussing the attacks on Israel by Hamas, we eventually had a more cheery talk.  Home in Seaford some time later, and I made arrangements with Mum to meetin...

So a rather excellent Monday, lots of sunshine helping. Got up and started a new poem, but more importantly my head in a good place, and feeling much less agitated than of late. At midday, Lorraine went off to her gym, and I caught a bus to Brighton, the route following the sea. Maybe it was my mood, but it was all rather lovely. Got off the bus at the Old Stein and cheery to be strolling up through the North Laine to see Stacy, who cut my hair with his usual perfectionism. I have often noticed the little plastic figure of Speedy Gonzales on his shelf, but today it made me wonder if it is placed there to remind him to get a wiggle on.  Back by train, as the timings worked well. I got off at Newhaven Town, however, where Lorraine was waiting for me, and we went into places like Homebase and Screwfix to buy a special drill head for M10 bolt screws which we will be building our raised beds with. When we were in Homebase I looked at their garden section and saw Beech, Hornbeam and Holl...

After a few bits of pieces of admin, and a quick chat with Keith, to Brighton at noon as staring at the formless mass of at my hair on screen recently has become abominable. While in Brighton sourced some Japanese roasted green tea teabags and a desk diary. Stacy looked startled by my arrival, and it turned out he had double booked. The bonus of this was that Stacy, who normally spends the last ten minutes of any haircut, snipping at hairs that can only be seen on some metaphysical plane inhabited only by barbers, was faster. The journey to and fro arriving a few minutes after Lorraine arrived.  Very happy to see my wifey again. Maureen thankfully feeling more comfortable today, after what had been a scary week. Lorraine happy to be home again -- although feeling a bit torn. Ken is staying with Pat at the moment luckily. In the evening I went to the Needlewriters and was delighted that Lorraine felt up for coming too.  Amusingly, Lewes seemed abuzz compared to Seaford. Went th...

Woke up irritably this morning after stressful dreams. Then looked at my phone and realised after tracking the delivery of my new phone, they were about to deliver it to my old address despite having provided the new one. Gah. Up and sorted this out. Then did things like billing, arranging a dentist visit, writing to my accountant etc. Felt a bit better for doing these small things.  Then sorting things out in the house with Lorraine. Then Lorraine off to her personal trainer and I made off to Brighton for a haircut. As there was supposed to be a train strike today, but was recently revoked, trains were not running from the Seaford today.  I jumped on a 12 bus and it took me along the coastal road, through assorted havens and deans till we reached Brighton. Amazing colours over the stormy sea. Khaki with white foam near the shore, then green then steel blue towards the horizon.  First time in Brighton since the 27th September -- seven weeks. Stacy in a miserable mood, but...

A sort of interlude where nothing really happened. I had no freelance so had space to work on poems but didn't find myself in the right headspace to make the best of this. Raining for much of the day turning our newly concreted front path into a big puddle -- we are negotiating with the people who did this to redo it.   More happily I plan to meet Liz (my sudden cousin) and her son Thomas this Saturday for a coffee, as they will be in Brighton to check out further education. In the afternoon I sloped off to get a haircut. Enjoyed walking through the park. A Stacy special taking the best part of an hour. You learn lots in the barber's. Apparently there are three cases of monkey pox in the local hospital. One of Stacy's pals came in and there was protracted banter at his expense, which he was laughing at ruefully.  I like the fact I am known by name in the barbers. Maybe I'll keep going there when I am in Seaford. Home and cooked a veggie chilli for Lorraine and Sam. Lorr...