under another sun

Off to Edgware this morning. Feeling positive, and having lots of creative ideas on the train. Sitting across a from a dad and his 3 year old boy from Lewes to Beast Croydon. They were sitting next to two women either side of the window, and though they didn't know each other were all soon chatting. I got drawn into it a bit when the boy poked a large stem of an umbellifer, perhaps cow parsley, across the aisle. He waggled it under my nose, and I sniffed it and we had a conversation about what it smelled like. Then he did it again, and I pretended to be a bee. The third time he did it, he shouted a gleeful poo-poo ! Very funny. Because of Enzo it felt more normal talking to the little boy and his dad.  Up to Mum, and as I arrived Ben was in his garage, and he was able to come across and sign after Wynford had been. LPA documents signed by mum and me too, and I will post them off tomorrow. I then spent some time with Mum's paperwork, digging through assorted documents, before Mu...

To London this morning. Set off in sunshine and arrived in Edgware flitting between shadows as it seemed really hot to me. Two jewish men in Golders Green were stabbed in the street  earlier in the week, described as a terrorist attack by Government and media.  I wondered how people were feeling in Edgware, just a bus ride away, with a large jewish population. So much fear in the world. I found Mum in good spirits. We took a look at her filing, tax affairs etc.  It was soon clear that I need to with Mum overnight and spend a day filing and weeding out her bazillion documents as they make her heart sink.  This agreed, we slid off to the Waggon and Horses. Men were touching up the paint on the outside of the pub, and in the iconic waggon by the roadside. The pub smelt of paint a bit, and there was a new dartboard installed in the corner. Perhaps darts will make a comeback there. Had a light lunch and enjoyed a chat with Mum and some Guinness. Steve and a friend of his ...

Up feeling quite rested though still a bit sluggish after yesterday's migraine. After breakfasting with Lorraine, I made off to Edgware. Lorraine and I normally do wordle over our boiled egg, but now we do connections too, thanks to Sue and John.  Beautiful to walk out on a beautiful sunny spring morning, and the mood of everything was different. Sussex looked gorgeous from the train. Even when I caught a bus from Mill Hill to Edgware the streets, last seen in the rain, looked attractive.   I found Mum in good spirits. We had cups of tea and ginger biscuits, and she told me about seeing Romy yesterday, and I sent the Romster a text to convey her thanks. Mum generally steadier than she was when very ill.  We drove off to the Waggon and Horses, and had a bite there in the afternoon, not to mention topping up the fox food reserves. Bumped into Steve and Paul the bailiff. The sunlight drew people out, and the Waggon quite busy which Mum enjoyed Mum's hearing seemed better too...

Up early, and sorted out the contract for a phone I was taking to Mum, then left early for to Edgware, but early as I'd arranged for the Mediquip people to meet Mum and I between twelve and one. I showed mum the phone I'd got for her. But it turns out that her old phone, which I thought was broken, was still in working order, but just has a crack in the plastic. So we decided to stick with the old one, rather than learn a whole new phone.  The pleasant mediquip person installed the lifeline terminal, which links to a responder, and mum had a pendant that you can press if you need help. We tested it, and someone answered from the terminal in the kitchen within seconds. This rather good. This will help Mum maintain her independence but also give me peace of mind.  To the Waggon and Horses, and had lunch and sat gratefully by the wood fire. Mum sad that she hadn't been able to colour her hair recently. But of her usual pals, only Steve Davis there for a bit, and we had a chat ...

A cold start, and off to Edgware this morning. I discovered on the train that when I plugged in my laptop to recharge overnight, I failed to turn the switch on. I needed it to sort some things out for Mum. Feeling drained and depressed on the train, and was irritable all day. Once in Edgware and was walking towards Mum's place, it made me think of being in Edgware in my twenties, when times were colder. A chat with Rupa and Wynford, and Wynford's sister Linda. They are taking Mum to the pub tomorrow.  Mum drove us off to The Waggon. We met Steve there, who had kindly helped mum understand her tax form last week, and has set her up on the Government Gateway. However, this means that the authentication code to enter the Government Gateway is sent to Steve. I was unable to change Steve's number to mine in Mum's profile, as when I accessed it on my phone, I selected stay signed in for seven days. So I will have to trouble Steve again. However I bought him a large wine to th...

Both of us feeling a oddly stressed first thing. I checked the weather in Paxos where we are going and the week we are there, storms are forecast. But the weather is always wrong this far out. Then we drove off to Edgware.   We picked up Mum, and drove quickly to the The Waggon and Horses where Mum had booked us a table. It was empty when we arrived, apart from one man looking at the football, but it soon filled up. I had a chat with the guy who is a bailiff, who talked to me about the death of Paul, whose old seat he had been sitting in. He said he had bought the odd Guinness and left them where he used to sit. Paul is being lamented as someone who listened to others, which is something to aspire to. We all had roast chicken with all the trimmings, which was surprisingly good, mum able to have  couple of wines knowing Lorraine was driving. Back to Mum's and we measured up the tray of the heater and ordered a new one on line to be delivered at Mum's place.  Then Mum ...

Up early and off to Edgware. Lorraine back to Maureen and Pat's, to give Pat a shower. I reading Memories, Dreams, Reflections, an autobiography, of C. G. Jung , which I had started before, found it fascinating and then set it aside. Now I am powering through and I'm finding it a wonderful read. I am listening to it as an  audiobook, and reading the actual book depending on the circumstances. I was today reading the book. Chugging north quite happily, then just as we got into London my head began spinning as I read my book and I felt very odd. I then realised after a moment's panic that it was simple dehydration, having only a cup of coffee and a cup of tea from Lewes station. I had a bottle of water, gulped it down, and then got off still feeling a bit shaky at St Pancras. Having bought a bottle of water, drank it and a sandwich, I was soon back to normal. I tried to give the other part of the sandwich to a homeless man, who declined as he couldn't eat cheese.   Gettin...

A call at 6:30 from Steve in the Waggon and Horses sounding a bit shaken and telling me that Paul had died in the night, and if I could let mum know as he thought she'd find the news upsetting. Steve and Paul had come to Mason's funeral and both are regulars and friends of Mum's at the Waggon. Too early to call Mum, so I waited till 9ish to tell her the news, then called Steve back. He'd received a call early this morning from Paul, and had rushed around to see him, but found him. He gave him CPR for 15 minutes, till the ambulance turned up, but poor Paul was already dead. Mum was obviously saddened by it, and said she was going to the pub this afternoon.   I found the whole thing somewhat triggering. Something about a sudden death, involving Mum, the day after Mason's birthday and I felt very stressed over breakfast. Lorraine gave me a hug, but it was a shadow over the day, and I only felt happier when I talked again to Mum in the evening. She'd been to the pub...

Up and off to see Mum this morning. During the journey I finished reading The Sunken Land Begins to Rise Again , by M. John Harrison which I think is a fine book highly enigmatic and haunting, and much of it set in my old stomping ground in West London.  A bus from Mill Hill the short hop to Edgware, and such a beautiful day. I sat on the top deck, and felt a moment of unalloyed happiness looking at the children's drawing style puffy white clouds and deep blue sky. Feeling strangely free today. I found mum in good spirits, having had a busy day yesterday. She has managed to sort out a call with the tax people to do her accounts next Tuesday. Also the woman who comes to clean a bit, and the gardeners came yesterday. We drove off to the Waggon and Horses and had a chat with Paul at the bar, and some food. She asked about Gordon Road, and I told her what it was all about, and how it had been sparked in part by her remembering the name of the street, Gordon Road, where my paternal gran...

To Edgware this morning. Feeling at a low ebb of energy, but hopping from crowded train to crowded train, reading a bit more of  A Memoir of my Former Self by Hilary Mantel. A rich, highly intelligent, and slightly cantankerous personality shows through. I enjoyed her Reith Lectures, contained in this volume. The spit of rain in Seaford got heavier the further north, and was full on pelting by Mill Hill.  To mum's had a cup of tea, then off in the rain to The Waggon and Horses. The pub quiet and post weekendish, but Steve and Paul frowning over a laptop in their corner of the bar.  We ate our usual foods, All day breakfast to share with the birds and foxes for Mum, and chicken shish for me. Home again, and a quiet couple of hours in which I looked at some SF books I had bought in the seventies, I even remembered where I'd bought one of them from. Then had some dinner and watched M*A*S*H, episodes I'd never seen and quite enjoyed. Mum creeping out after dark to feed the fo...

Off to Edgware this morning. It had rained overnight, which was quite exciting. The omega pattern jet stream over the UK meant weeks of settled high pressure and no rain. An early breakfast and off. The train journey not too bad, but because I have to hop from train to train it's hard to settle to doing any work even though I had my computer. Good to see Mum, who I'd not seen in person since I met her with Toby in Hampstead. We had a cuppa and looked at the will she's had drawn out with the help of Steve and Paul at the pub, looks watertight to me. Eventually I drove off to the pub, where I was able to thank Steve and Paul. We had a nice time there, although Waleed the chef has suddenly left without really saying goodbye. He always used to call Mum and Mas mummy and daddy and kiss mum's hand. My chicken shish wasn't quite as good as before. Home again with Mum and after more tea and chat, I left at around 4pm, it had been good to see her.  Home at 7:30 as the trains...

After rather wild winds, a fairly sedate and showery journey off to see Mum. Delayed trains, nothing to do with the weather, made it a lengthy journey.  On arrival we zoomed off to The Waggon and Horses, and had some lunch. Mum's mates laughing it up. Steve came over to me and mentioned Mum's near miss with the scammer. Nice that she has friends there who care enough about her to mention that to me just in case. Exciting news from Beth and James. Beth had another scan today. A new development: they now know the sex of the baby, which I will wait for them to share more widely before I reveal it in this blog. I am surprisingly, very invested in the whole baby business and rather excited. Then home, and after teas and some lurking, Mum cooked for us a bit later on, and we watched MASH and drank some wine and drifted off to bed, where I slept heavily.

To Edgware by car with Lorraine today to see Mum on her birthday. A decent drive up there. We stopped for a cup of tea, and to give her some presents. The throw and pillows had already arrived, and we gave her some new pots and pans, to replace the venerable ones she uses. Lorraine drove us to The Waggon and Horses where we got a seat by the fire. Curtis, behind the bar, and Mum's crew, who call her a geezerbird, all cheerily greeting her and Steve shaking my hand and wishing me merry Christmas and happy new year. Just after we'd eaten Toby called  from Bali fresh from a yoga session-- thinking that we'd be together. So Mum got to speak to him on her birthday too. Very cheery in the Waggon, and Lorraine had a chicken shish like me, and was surprised at how genuinely excellent they are there. Home again and we sat by her fire in the living room. Neighours Emma and Gail dropped off some presents for her, and Wynford dropped in too with a gift. He sat chatting with us for a wh...

To Edgware. A sudden stomach upset adding a little jeopardy to the journey, but God bless the Gents at East Croydon Station. Fairly repaired once I had I arrived at Mum's place to hang out for a bit, and then melt away to The Wagon and Horses for lunch and a stomach settling pint of Guinness. We were given free soup today, by Waleed. Mum giving me a birthday card for the weekend. A long journey home, but all fine reading and listening to podcasts. Very happy to boof onto the gold sofa some hours later, and chat to Lorraine and Rosie turned up having been out for dinner with Beth. Rosie being very cheery and staying for a sleepover. Below one of mum's houseplants flowering beautifully. I think it is a hibiscus.

Up to Edgware. Nice to see Mum, not having been able to see her for a few weeks due to covid and so on. A smooth journey there, though I was struggling with my lightning app, which makes a thunder noise when there is a nearby storm. The train passed by the edge of a big storm, and my trousers kept ominously rumbling. Fine in London. I was sporting my new coat, and was warm. To Mum's, then off to the Waggon and Horses. Some upstart in our seat, however, so we sat at a table near the men in the corner, Steve, Paul, and Jim who has just lost his wife, and the Bailiff whose name I don't know. They were their usual cheery selves and chatting to Mum lots. I asked Mum about coming down for Christmas, or a bit of a break. But she worries so much about Felix being left on his own, that she can't do it. Felix was treated horribly as a kitten and is easily spooked.   Back to Mum's. A van is parking outside her house in her spot, but Wynford was there and said she could park in his...

Back up to London. The train wouldn't start again at Seaford, but then all well, and a good journey, unremarkable other than a dog leaning with heavy fondness on me and licking my hand in one train. Got to Mum's exactly at 12:20 and after a cup of tea and a chat, and we sorted out a couple of bits like reloading Facebook on her iPad and sitting a heavy pot back on its feet etc. Her new wifi working well, although she doesn't like the little phones so much. We looked at a few old photos and then made off in the car, now parked outside on the newly-tarmacked street as the old disabled markings are gone, so she can park outside her own house without being given a ticket by Kafkaesque parking wardens.  To the Waggon on a fine, but coolish day. A few of the folks in the corner, all saying hello to us, especially Mum. The Bailiff guy was in, with two dogs which he told to sit on two chairs and they did, all the time he was there, even when he had to go out to move his chair. When...

Up to London with Lorraine, she was off to a reunion of her cohort of nurses from the London Hospital, and I went up to see Mum. After a bit of chatting we zoomed off to a very lively Waggon and Horses, where we drank some cider and had lunch. Mum loves it when it's like that. Steve and Paul and the other guys at the bar, laughing and there was a part of a wedding party with the young women dressed in gorgeous colourful south asian clothes, and blokes of those Indian silk shirts, matched with tattoos for an unusual look.  Home again for cups of tea, and then after a fond farewell I caught the bus Mill Hill Broadway station, but instead stayed on it till I reached Finchley. Here to do a bit of mooching about in Gordon Road, where my paternal grandparents lived, and where I was looked after during the day when mum was at work. I have some patchy memories of this time, and I was hoping that by visiting the street, I would have my memory triggered. A nearby footpath felt lined by trees...

Scorchio! again. Got up and caught the 9:24 train from Seaford, looking from the platform across to the sea. Even here the sky a bit murky as there were violent storms over on the French coast. Up to see Mum, reading  poetry by Martha Sprackland. On the train from Lewes I sat next to a Swiss woman and her husband. She was radiating anxiety about the train being full, and having to go to London. For some folks London is real challenge. Made it to Mum's fairly easily, doing my now trademarked slinking from shadow to shadow where possible. Rehung the curtain in the kitchen with Mum, and looked at some of the remaining admin bits left by Mas. Then into Mum's car, winding the windows down and zooming off to the Waggon and Horses for a meal.  I copied Mum and had some cider, which was perfect for the day. Mum made me laugh saying that she sneezed so hard that she sneezed her mascara off. Steve and Paul there as usual, although Steve had a troubled air about him and left early after...

Up in Edgware, having slept quite heavily. Breakfast with Mum, and I replaced our Friday list of things, with a new list of Mason related tasks now with fewer things on it. I researched couriering ashes to California. Eye-watering expenses, and nothing can be done till the death certificate is issued anyhow, and that won't be for months potentially. We drove off to Edgware and took seven big bags of clothes to the charity shop. While Mum finds this sad, there is at least the idea they are going to a very good cause. From there back home, and thence to The Waggon and Horses, arriving a bit later than usual, had lunch and some Guinness. Steve and Paul at the bar chatting to mum and I cheerily, and inviting her to sit with them next time she comes. Mum made me laugh mishearing on of the staff talking about duck wraps, as lab rats. Fond farewells with Mum, then I set off at 2:30. With assorted rail problems, having to go via Brighton, where I had to change to bus travel, it took me fou...

Up early and making coffee. Chatting over breakfast with Mum, avocado on toast, then we set about some chores. I called the funeral directors to double check they had Mason's ashes as I'd previously agreed. But  Paula, who works there, had forgotten. If I'd made this trip solely to pick up the ashes I would have been fairly cross about this, and so now we won't be able to collect them till the first week of April. However, Mum and I did some other stuff like buying a new carpet washer online, and setting a date for Mason's mobility equipment to be collected, and we took some of Mason's old clothes down to a Barnardos charity shop in Edgware. Mum had done well this week sorting some admin out.  Then we drove to the Waggon & Horses for an early lunch. It was a bit empty, but I enjoyed the chicken shish and the Guinness. Mum is doing okay, but of course greatly misses Mason being around.  Fond farewells with Mum there, and I walked back to Elstree station, and ...