under another sun

A hot night with poor sleep for both of us. The gulls on the roof hammering, scuffling and screaming raucously at the dawn. And at six thirty I was wide awake. Lorraine's sleep was poor too, and she couldn't get to sleep last night.  Robin and I uploaded the Will Harris episode of the podcast . A good one I think. Robin's judicious final snips making it all the better. I hope Will likes it. Otherwise we had Enzo from breakfast time. He is growing his collection of consonants, adding a soft g sound. He is absolutely besotted with Lorraine, of course, but it seemed to be a grandpa day, with the  little lad repeatedly reaching up to me to be held and carried about, bounced on the knee and so on.  Lorraine and I were playing with him in the living room, and I had to pop into the kitchen to take something out of the freezer, and he actually burst into tears when I left. He is usually happy and smiling, but looking into his little tragic face if you don't pick him up immed...

Told Charlotte and SJB and Stephen about my news first thing, to make it even realer. They were happy for me, which was very sweet. Sarah: When's the piss up?!! This morning I was talking to Lorraine about how decades of being published meant I knew my poems were good, but how on some irrational level I thought there was something about me, my character or who I am, that meant I would never succeed. The thought of perhaps being able to shrug off this shoulder monkey is exhilarating. Otherwise recording and editing most of the day. Recorded a few more bits with Robin, and sent what I have to her for another no-nonsense edit.  At tea time off with Lorraine to call in at Debbie's house, which I'd never been too. Lovely place, overlooking the sea. Lorraine was sorting a computer problem for Debbie on a Mac. Nobody interested in the fact I use a Mac every day, of course. Debbie showed us the room she does glass work in, overlooking the sea, and said as it was a full moon she was...

Up and feeling excited, made off to my desk by 7.00am and wrote a grown up reply to Wolfgang, accepting his kind offer. It all felt a little realer after I replied.   Lorraine and I had breakfast and she made off to her personal trainer. I got down to some editing of the podcast, and at lunchtime made off to the gym. Walking past Blatchington Pond, I bumped into Guy. He is on the committee of volunteers who look after the pond.  He had been woken up this morning by someone sending him a photo in the early hours. It was of one of the pond's carp with the O of its mouth breaking surface, apparently gasping for air. He and another man then worked to aerate the water with a pump for a few hours, and was just finishing when I walked past. Something about him being sent a carp mouth photo tickled my sense of the ridiculous, but this is important work. Another symptom of the effects of climate breakdown.  Lorraine and I heard the sad news from Adele today that her mother had die...

An Enzo day today. Lorraine collected the little lad, and he had a hobbit's second breakfast with us. I then made off upstairs and did some recording with Robin for an hour, I talked about Tess Jolly and also Martha Sprackland's new translation of John of the Cross.  Lorraine on the phone lots, as Maureen has been talking about having a few day's respite from caring for Pat, and Lorraine is trying to manage that.  In the afternoon off to a beautiful and not too busy Sheffield Park with Enzo and Maureen, while Delores looked after Pat. The baby and Maureen were let in free. I pushed Maureen around in a wheelchair, a bone shaker, she said, as the paths were quite rough and gravelly in places. A gorgeous day by normal standards, if you overlook the drought, and the wilting leaves. I loved the great waterlily islands in the  ponds, and the dragonflies and Enzo admiring the geese and ducks. Maureen seemed to really relax too. I bought some sherbet lemons in the shop afterwards...

Enzo has discovered pointing with his finger, and he is doing things with his index finger rather than his whole hand when he was here today. Life drawing this morning. Had great fun, although I didn't produce much that was good.  Strangely upset stomach today.   At tea time off to Lewes, where I met Robin at the station and walked to the John Harvey Tavern, where the Needlewriters had an evening, featuring John McCullough reading from his new book Crowd Voltage . Strong work, and I find John has an exhilarating ability to choose a metaphor or image that is so far away from what you would expect would work, but somehow in his hands does.  Also readings from  Jackie Wills and Bethan Roberts. Jackie reading a prose work about her allotment, and Bethan, who is a very successful, reading an excerpt from her new novel. Both excellent writers but I was left with a not for me-ishness about what they'd read this evening.  Lots of the usual suspects there, Janet, Charlot...

An Enzo for breakfast. Lorraine zooming off to the get the little lad first thing. I had a busy day, but enjoyed spending time with him in between going to my Life Drawing Class. A decent session this morning, I used coloured pencils and a pleasant woman model. Adele not there this morning as she was laying out her show at Gallery Uno. Sat next between a new bloke John, whose work I think is good, and Kate, who is always very accomplished and free and brilliant. Nice session.  Hurried home to see the wee boy, who has a new tooth and is full of beans generally. In the afternoon off to see Cóilín. When I got there I said I was sorry for her loss and gave her a kiss, and she went very quiet for a bit while the nurse settled me into the seat. But we had a lovely conversation about her dad for ten minutes after the scraping was done. Home and a bit of bouncing Enzo on my knee and then off to Brighton, where I went to the Walrus to see Robin, SJB, Stephen and Antony Mair. We went upstair...

Up early writing, then made breakfast. Robin popped around this morning with a box of deluxe Brownies that our last guest on Planet Poetry Mara Bergman had sent to her. A lovely thought. Robin, looking super trim and doing lots of keep fit lately, simply had one piece leaving five. I shared one with Lorraine and it was so incredibly delicious, that I simply had to have another one, and make Lorraine eat another too. Mad sugar rush. We had the last two in the afternoon, and I felt that any attempt to control my food intake was doomed from that point. Robin also left me a copy of her A Guide to Getting Your Poems Published which is selling like hot cakes. Off then to drawing class, where I feel I am getting nowhere fast, but maybe I just have to enjoy it and not look for progress. Lovely to see my friends down there though. Did some light pencil work then added the dense charcoal Anton had bought me to them thus cancelling out anything that was good in the first place. Still, you live a...

 Lots going on this morning. I had to bump a recording session with Robin till this afternoon. While Lorraine was out collecting Maureen, Wenda, an old friend of Lorraine's arrived with flowers. She turned out to be a kind, empathetic person to whom I warmed immediately, and in no time we were talking like old friends.  Then a man arrived to look at Lorraine's tyre and found there was a screw through it, and it needed to be completely replaced. Lorraine and Maureen arrived, and Maureen was delighted to see Wenda too. I slunk upstairs to call Mum and do a bit of writing before coming down before the left for Lewes, where Wenda's husband David, who is an actor, was filming for a day. In the afternoon, after banter with Robin, I sloped off in the afternoon and rejoined my usual gym, as my upper body needs help. Same nice lady as last time, who told me I was there day's different in my birthday to her brother, which made her like me.  Slight rain on my way home. There is a ...

Lorraine unwell, with the shivers and cold symptoms overnight. Made her a hot water bottle and found the wooly Canadian socks that Joan had given me ages ago and put them on her feet. These seemed to make a big difference. In the morning I took Lorraine breakfast in bed, and did my best to look after her today. Having seen Mum yesterday I began to worry I'd passed this new lurgy on to her. But she was philosophical about it when we spoke. The CBT work I'm doing says there are worries you can do something about and others that you can't. Worrying about things you can't change is futile. A useful  reminder for me. It's funny how the most useful things to be told are often the most blindingly obvious.  Met Robin online this morning to discuss the next two episodes of Planet Poetry, which will be new ones. I always feel braced and more purposeful after we talk. Then to Brighton, as the train pulled in I glimpsed John McCullough standing alone on the platform so distinct...

Up early. Got a bean jar into the oven on low heat, and the house full of beany goodness all day. Then after breakfast I made off to my drawing class, the last one of the term. A model called Lorraine Yu  who I've drawn before. Again I simply enjoyed the session, with no self recriminations about not drawing well enough.. Nice to see Adele back from Ireland. Melissa going back to the States. Kate, who I often sit next to, doing some excellent work. Back home, and Beth and Enzo there having a rest before popping around to the Nursery for another familiarisation day. Enzo relaxed about being left there for a few minutes already. Lorraine and I went to the garden centre at Paradise Park, home of the dinosaurs, and bought sacks of compost, a pink camellia, and some pansies.  Then home as big splashy cold rain began.  Home and as we were carrying stuff into the garden, Lorraine reported some free swimming tadpoles in our wildlife pond.  Robin in touch, and hopefully will ...

Up early, and a calmer start to a day of hosing rain. Lorraine off to her physical trainer. I slunk indoors. Still no news about the Poetry Canon pamphlet winners, now over a week late. Luckily I've got the Kansas short story on the go to distract me. Spoke to Mum to confirm I'm coming up tomorrow. Late in the afternoon, I bussed to Eastbourne to meet a cheery, if dripping, Robin in the Dolphin, which we quickly left for The Dew Drop inn across the road, for inexplicably the beer in the Dolphin was all off. I ordered a pint of Old Man, and it tasted like vinegar.  Over bags of peanuts and crisps bought with our meagre podcast profits.We chatted about the podcast and tentatively explored the idea of a new project over a couple of drinks.  Bus took me home in no time, and I was happy to be out of the rain and booting onto the gold sofa with Lorraine for the evening. 

Nothing but the wild rain this morning.  Off to my drawing class, which I enjoyed more this week, with a graceful female sitter called Caris. Melissa on good form, and I chatted with Debbie, who'd just had a back operation, and Adele, and several of the regulars.   Lorraine was waiting outside in the rain, and we went to Flowers to finalise carpet choices. Luckily I found the golfing umbrella I'd left at the Women's institute about two months ago, while leaving the building.   Home again, still rather tired and underpowered. Beth and Enzo, and Rosie all around this afternoon. Rosie excitable because she and Innis are getting married at the end of May. She said she had been looking at wedding dresses and getting overwhelmed by emotions of all sorts. Lovely to see her though. Phoned Mum, as I'm going to see her tomorrow. In the evening I made off to Lewes where Robin was reading at The Needlewriters. Good to see Robin again, and have nice chats with Robert Hamberger and J...

A relaxed Sunday. I did some early recording with Robin, and some editing later. Then Lorraine and I did some work in the garden. Our gardener Gerard bad been recently, and so surging outside was not accompanied by the usual feeling of being overwhelmed by all the things to be done. Lorraine was in her happy place. I joined in by clearing stuff out of the greenhouse, hacking through the ropey tomato and cucumber vines and emptied all the tomato pots into the compost, and encountered invertebrates such as an overly large spider and leopard slugs. Also the last handfuls of tomatoes. Not bad given that it is almost Christmas. I went for a walk in the afternoon. Leaving Lorraine happily doing things. Just as I was returning, Lorraine called to say she was zooming around to Beth and James's place, as Enzo was unwell. Poor baby was vomiting and going floppy, which was very worrying. Beth and Enzo were blue lighted to the Royal Sussex at Brighton, and stayed overnight. It seemed to be eit...

Wore moderately smart clothes this morning, as yesterday I saw myself in a mirror in The White Bear looking a bit rubbish. Feeling smarter makes a difference. After a lovely breakfast with Lorraine, went to my desk to finalise my speculative missive to Shearsman. A sunny lunchtime, so I went for a walk, and later had a chat with Robin about tomorrow's interview, which we are going to do as a double act. While walking I called Carl, and spoke to him and Jayne who was also in the car. I was planning to visit him last month, and December is already busy enough so I said January. Lots of laughing as Carl ridiculed me as only your oldest friends can. Lorraine had been shopping with Beth, and in the afternoon Beth here with Enzo, so I had a chance to hang out with them. At one point Lorraine and Beth were out of the room and I was watching Enzo getting exceedingly tetchy lying on his back trying to pull down the toys that dangle from a little plastic arch over where he lies on his mat. B...

Noticed there was no Brian waking me up, and no cats to be fed at home for the first time in many years. After breakfast with Lorraine, my life drawing class. Getting to know some of the other classmates better, and it's all quite cheery. Not delighted with my drawings, and I find myself making the same mistakes. The model, Katie, was one we have drawn before but she was nice to draw, being a little older and more curvy who looks like Jane Austen. She was also sporting a broken wrist, gained after falling over wearing a clown costume, and had to go to A&E in it. Then a little walk, and joined up with the Understory folks, another interesting session. Then off to Lewes to go to the Needlewriters, where I sat mainly with Robin, Charlotte, and Stephen Bone. Stephen had been really ill lately, and can't smell anything any more. Janet and Jeremy both there.  Robert Hamburger was one of the readers, and I love his work, and I asked him to sign his latest book Nude Against A Rock ...

A cheery day, though I can't seem to settle to much in the way of writing at the moment. However, my passport was delivered today in record time. Obviously one of the so dark blue it's black UK ones, instead of the EU burgundy. Still mustn't grumble. Lorraine off to Carline for personal training, and then went off to try a spot of Acupuncture. The woman who gave it to her had a lot to say about spleens, and how the spleen doesn't like cold food. Listening to  How To Make Your Brain Your Best Friend , by the neuroscientist Rachel Barr as I walk. It is excellent, clear and and practical.  In Seaford Cemetery I was taking a snap of a path, when a woman driving through, stopped and asked if I was local. I guess she thought I was there to look at the commonwealth graves. I said I was and we had a friendly chat, and told me her family had lived here for years, and there were lots of her family here. Otherwise a lovely walk, a very warm autumn day. I am loving the idea I can ...

Made breakfast, after going out into the garden again and picking fresh blueberries. Lorraine had to take Maureen and Pat in the car for Maureen to have a scan. After a few bits of tinkering on the full poetry manuscript, I then made off to the gym for an early and rather sweaty session.  Home, a bite to eat, and then I caught a crowded bus to East Dene where I was soon picked up by Robin and she drove us to The Beachy Head pub, with fine views down to the sea.  Here we had a couple of drinks, a few crisps and peanuts, did a bit of recording with a microphone, as is traditional for our season finale. We also finalised our plans for next season, which will be less intense from our point of view. As ever Robin and I are on the same page. Then a bus back, a short and beautiful journey, and then home before six. Lorraine and I went into the greenhouse and picked tomatoes and several giant cucumbers, which Lorraine is going to make into her justly famed cucumber relish. A bit more ...

Lorraine off to her personal trainer. I did some writing, then quickly recorded the podcast intro with Robin which we had forgotten to do earlier. Then off to meet Yvonne for coffee in the Grumpy chef. As usual a good laugh, and we sat in the secret corner which Yvonne seems to favour. Home again and in the afternoon I went for a longish walk nosing about the edges of cornfields, and then down to the sea and eventually home again. Home and Robin had sent the full episode to listen to. Below cornfields and cloudless skies above Bishopstone.  

Lorraine off to the gym this morning, when she came home I cooked a largish lunch for us, as I would only be snacking later. Then Lorraine off to Squirrel's End. James to start his new job tomorrow.  Met Robin in The Depot at Lewes, had cups of tea and Robin gave me some feedback on Gordon Road. Really useful for me, and a few things to think about, as well as a sprinkling of proofing catches and a few small cuts. Then we made off by train to Haywards Heath and jumped on a train and found SJB, and we travelled up to London Bridge and then Greenwich. Lots of talk about babies, and AI and much more (too much for some fellow passengers who moved huffily away). Sarah also showed us her wonderful SUNY book 'Mary Barnard: Complete Poems and Selected Translations', which she edited and is just published. A very handsome thing indeed, and a culmination of huge amounts of work.  We arrived early and popped into a nearby pub for a half, and a sort through of papers and so on. Then to...

Lorraine off this morning to take Pat and Maureen to a celebration of life, for Pat's cousin Tony, who I met only once many years ago, in the Isle of Sheppy. They stayed overnight to make things easier. So I had the day to myself. I went to the gym, then in the afternoon went to Lewes. Charlotte was having a birthday party for local poet pals. Twelve guests in all, including mutual pals Robin, SJB, Stephen Bone and Janet Sutherland. I'd never been to Charlotte's place before. I met a poet with purple hair lost like me, and we found our way to the door, was let in by Pete, Charlotte's husband, and climbed up a flight of stairs, then outside, up a zigzag path in the garden and then found ourselves on the top of a mound, overlooking all of Lewes and the downs beyond. A rather magical place that can only be accessed through Charlotte's house. It was there we all read a poem (except Robin) and had a poetic altogethery time.   There was an immediate calamity however. Ther...