under another sun

So off to Hampstead to see Mum and Toby. Bimbling as usual on the train and reading a couple of stories by the Canadian painter Emily Carr. Imagine my surprise when I looked at my phone when the train emerged from the the tunnel at  St Pancras, to see an email from Wolfgang accepting my full poetry MS One Day Forever for publication. I called Lorraine walking up from West Hampstead, she was really happy for me. It did not feel real at all, and still doesn't. I felt cautiously pleased, but was strangely unable to be entirely gleeful after achieving such a long-held ambition. For me the news is so momentous, it's taking me a while to get my head around it. Sauntered up the hill in good spirits to find Mum and Toby at Hampstead tube station, and we crept round to The White Bear, where I shared my good news. Lovely that I could do that with them. Otherwise, Mum pleased that we were both there to chat to, and she had her usual pea and lovage soup in what is now her favourite pub. ...

Mum thankfully okay when I spoke to her this morning.  Toby and I had a slow breakfast and coffee in the garden. Lorraine had left early to attend the Bolney School leaver's service, where she enjoyed seeing former pupils and their families, and old colleagues. She had many a hug and affectionate conversations. Then to her personal trainer. I walked Toby to Seaford station, and he returned to  Edgware. Sad to see him go, even though I'll be seeing him next Monday. But it was good to have time to shoot the breeze properly over the past few days.  In the evening Lorraine went to do her pottery class in Eastbourne. She dropped me off at the gym, where I had a decent session. Home and cooked a small one-person curry. A bit strange to have the house to myself.  Apart from a call from Maureen, who needed Lorraine to call in at Stratheden Court before heading home, I listened to music and read quietly.

A chilled day with Toby. Up and chilling in the back garden with coffee and breakfast. Then after Lorraine left for Pat and Maureen's place, Toby and I got ourselves together for a walk, down to the sea where we found Lorraine and Delores pushing Pat and Maureen.   I tormented Maureen by pushing her too fast and in tight circles, etc. on the way to the Sailing Club. She told me she had swapped one of her anxiety pills recently, and it hadn't agreed with her, making her feel sick as well as sad. Lorraine had already been in touch with the surgery this morning. Pat sporting an excellent sunhat sad little of course, but was enjoying being with people and sitting in the sun. Some of us had little baskets of scampi and fries, while others ate sandwiches, and drank some shandy. We pushed them back, Toby and Delores talking lots, she was keen to learn about Toby living next to a mass murderer in Sacramento. Delores also started a Substack, writing a very authentic piece about stopping...

Beth and James returned at midday having got up at the crack of dawn in Wales, after what was a brilliant wedding. Lorraine bathing Enzo in the bath this morning. A very splashy business indeed. Enzo had been clearly missing Beth and James, and perhaps because we were talking about them, he kept looking at the door. They crept in just as Enzo was waking from a late morning snooze, he burst into tears with happiness, and Beth picked him up crying too. A lovely reunion. Soon they drove off to be home. The house suddenly quieter.  Lorraine much improved today so all well.  Called the Tobster and spoke to him and Mike, and Toby came here in late afternoon. Roast Chicken, and salad, and the World Cup Final. A bizarre game with Spain utterly dominant, and Argentina resisting and defending and playing their dirty game. Spain won in extra time, which was pleasing. The Argentinians then began physically attacking some of the Spanish players. Very poor behaviour. A long drawn out game, ...

Saturday morning, and Lorraine had the spewy bug, but rallied magnificently to take care of Enzo. Obviously Toby hadn't bargained for staying in a plague house. Luckily we have outside furniture so he and I sat outside for breakfast and a long conversation in the garden. Lorraine calling for a bit of  help when needed, and came outside to give Enzo lunch.   I sat with Enzo outside for a bit, while Tobs was indoors. He just sat with me happily looking at the seagulls and a butterfly and the trees and sky with rapt attention. I think we can learn a lot from babies. In the afternoon Toby sensibly opted to see Mike and Zina, and I walked him to the bus stop early in the afternoon.The bus got stuck at Newhaven, and he texted yearning for Japanese levels of efficiency.  Lorraine shattered this afternoon. I took the baby boy for a long walk by the sea, me humming The Happy Song , by Imogen Heap to him. But he was perfectly happy, and wriggling with excitement looking at everythi...

Morning at home with Enzo, being rather adorable. Beth and James off to North Wales for Amy Freeman's wedding. Then off to Morrisons just after lunch to do some shopping. Toby called to say he was just leaving Lewes. Lorraine completed the shopping, I got my drugs, and then met Tobs in Steamworks. We had a half, and came home and Toby got to meet Enzo and say howdy to Lorraine.  Sadly Meatball, Romy and Toby's long-lived cat had to be put down today, which they were sad about. It seems a lifetime ago when I first met her, having let myself into Toby and Romy's place while they were at work, she cautiously came over, after several attempts, and bit me in a welcoming way.   Toby and I made off to the Boot. No rebooters there, as all involved elsewhere tonight, but this was actually fine as we had a chance to talk, and a bite to eat, before mooching off to The Cinq Ports for another pint. Like a time warp in there with people going to a jukebox type of wall mounted machine and...

Enzo here this morning, and Lorraine looked after him all day. We had him on Thursday night as Beth and James had developed the spews in the morning. I made off to Hampstead. Bought a ticket at Seaford Station, and realised I'd left my phone at home, so missed the train. Otherwise a smooth journey, and met Mum and Toby at Hampstead station. We sloped down to The White Bear for some lunch. I wanted a photograph, but they both flinched like vampires. A cheery lunch, and great to see the Tobster of course. Toby had a pie, and mum had pea and lovage soup, this time sans the 'weeds', the pea shoots that were added last time. Mum was talking earlier about the man she calls the Parson. Sure enough he came and sat near us. Unfortunately Mum did not count this as a sighting, as he wore some kind of Hawaiian shirt, instead of a dog collar. His cowboyish hat on the table beside him gave it away. I had to return early, however, as I needed to get to The Walrus in Brighton, to host Tess...

Spoke to the Tobster and Mum. Toby having arrived first thing this morning, and now facing the double whammy of jet lag and monstrous heat. Looking forward to seeing him soon. A day with the baby boy for us. Lorraine is so brilliant with him. Seeing him drinking out of a pint glass today was a new one. To the gym again this afternoon. It's cooler there than outside. Enjoyed it. Otherwise politics amusing for a change. Farage in some populist stunt has resigned his MP's seat at Clacton on Sea, home to a depressing number of swivel eyed bigots.  He is forcing a bye election, in the expectation of being re-elected, thus in his mind anyway making the allegations about money and sleaze go away. Seeing through this nonsense, the other major parties declined to put up a candidate, except the independent Count Binface. Your current choice in Clacton is between a massive racist hypocrite or a rubbish bin. Let's hope he sends Farrage to the dustbin of history. Below a Count Binface p...

Mum reported a better night, which I was pleased about. She slept during the day again, but is seeming much more herself. Maheena popped in. I like her very much, and she is very kind to Mum.  Another kind text from Wynford. The Tobster called from a snowy Deviation Road. Lovely texts from Rosie this morning too. I went for a walk to Stanmore, meaning stony mere or pool. Looked at the outside of the church, and the ruin of the older church next to it.  Had a cup of coffee in Stanmore's Caffè Nero. Tried to have some thoughts. Failed. Spoke to Lorraine severally because I am missing her. Watched Midsomer Murders with mum, and weirdly quite enjoyed it. Chelsea played today and disgraced themselves by drawing to Burnley. Otherwise cooked, dispensed drugs, chatted to Mum. All as well as can be expected. Some of the glories of Stanmore.  

Middle of the night idea: radical decency. A radical refusal to be baited or pushed into polarised opinions by wannabe despots or bot farms or amoral tech bros.    Up before Mum. A chat with my lovely wife, who I am missing lots. A chat with Ben who found a parcel in Mum's green bin. Wynford popped in too.   For poor Mum another exhausting night of coughing and getting up for the toilet. She needed another sleep after breakfast, while I filed the pile of papers on the dining room table. However this afternoon Mum slept less and seemed brighter, and a bit more like her usual self making me feel very cautiously optimistic. Otherwise I've managed basics like making her drink and eat more.   Later I walked through Stonegrove Park and the puddle, which has receded yesterday was back. Weirdly there was an egret in it. I have never seen an egret in London before, perhaps the chief suspect in the missing goldfish mystery is shadowing me.  Sore throaty and sorry for myse...

Breakfast with Lorraine. Sylwia arrived, telling us she's going to visit her Mum in Poland in the next day or so. Lorraine set off to do Rhyme Time before going around to Pat and Maureen's place, to explain to Maureen that the lunch plans had been cancelled as Uncle Steve could come because of yellow warning of torrential rain. Luckily this blow softened by Beth and Enzo visiting.  I chugged up to Mill Hill, carrying a large bag to cover all eventualities. Bus to Edgware then I went straight to the Lane End Surgery. Turns out the sample I took there on Monday wasn't marked as urgent so the results will take up to a week. The receptionist was very kind when I explained the urgency.  Mum's throat sounding better, her eyes less sore, but she was coughing lots last night apparently. Lots of sleeping today. I filled in another online triage form, and then warmed up some soup and made cups of teas. Soon after Mum wanted another doze. I went out to do some food shopping. Stran...

Shopping first thing, then as we are going to have new carpets next week, Lorraine and I spent a few hours moving things from the rooms which are about to be carpeted into other rooms. Unearthed my dusty wedding shoes which have a very pointy middle ages look among the dead sea scrolls, and other lost treasures.   A walk to get up to ten thousand paces, although I had done lots in the house already walking things from room to room. Listening to a rest is history podcast about Romans vs Carthaginians in Spain. I know next to nothing about the Carthaginians, who were big dogs in the western Mediterranean for centuries until 146BC when things all went horribly wrong with the Romans.  Just as I reached home, Toby called. He said that, factoring in the wind chill, it was minus 35 in Toronto. He'd been out for a coffee but it was almost too cold go outside.  He's happily installed back home now living in an echoey minimalism as he awaits eclectic Frasier-style furniture (source...

Odd scenes this morning at Kenny Towers. Nurse Lorraine boiled scissors and got her medical kit out and cut an irritating skin tag off my inside thigh. It didn't hurt, but bled a bit. Shortly after, Mum called me having fallen at home, hitting the exact same spot on her forehead as she had done in Station Road before Christmas. She was bleeding and wondering what to do next. I told her to call 999 immediately, while I held on, on the iPad. Later an ambulance arrived for her, and they took her to Barnet hospital.  Lorraine and I had already cancelled all our plans and left home, and we found her in Barnet hospital's A&E department, and spent the day with Mum, as she was given assorted scans, blood tests, ECG, and blood pressures and so on had spoken to the Occupational Therapist. People asked her loads of questions.  I also sat with her while her face was injected and sewn up, which I found a bit disturbing. Another five stitches, as I remember it: one inside and four outsi...

All up fairly early. Lorraine went around to have brunch with Kate and Andrew and other pals. Mum and I had a slow breakfast with lots of chatting, and then she packed. Back to Edgware today, the journey very busy again, the fastest route today was to go north viaTunbridge Wells and join the M25 eastwards, squeaking through the Dartford tunnel again. Never been through there, and now twice in one week. Safely indoors with cups of tea and figgy rolls, and Lorraine had a doze and we made off south again. Sheer weight of traffic meant it was slow, but we returned the normal way via Heathrow. Did a few quick jobs around the house liking turning the wifi back on, and unplugging timers that Ben had set up timers for lights that would come on and off in the house.  The Tobster called while we were crawling on the jolly M25, and they are enjoying San Miguel in Mexico, shortly to return.  Home and Lorraine and I watched a video Beth sent of Enzo eating his first food: carrot. Spooning ...

A major feat of organisation and logistics also known as Christmas Day. Lorraine up before me, to put on a Christmas ham, once Mum was up, we got down to a fast smoked salmon breakfast. Soon Beth and James and Enzo arrived. Much swapping of gifts. I got excellent jumpers, art supplies, a book on life drawing, plus a useful box of Long Man beers. Lorraine liked the earrings I got for her. We all had pressies to open.   Then the ham was done, and the turkey put on. A good deal of cooking, and running about, then Lorraine and James left and returned with Pat and Maureen. Uncle Steve was there too. Another bout of present opening.  Pat being here was excellent, getting him here involved Lorraine doing lots of planning, using an E Tack turner, used to swivel him from one chair to another. And I was especially pleased to have Mum with us too, and having Enzo was a bit of a game changer. I'd never been around a baby at Christmas, and Enzo was like the Phial of Galadriel, shedding lig...

Lorraine and I had bumped our trip to Edgware till tomorrow, as I wanted Lorraine to have another day of recovery before the driving marathon. She is improving, but is a couple of days behind me, and I'm still a tad wan. Beth and Enzo popped around, for a session of the adoration of Enzo. Spoke to Toby briefly, as he had read about Mum falling over in the rain. I felt a bit bad that I hadn't let him know. He was on a tour somewhere in Mexico City I think. All well though. I had to send my apologies to Robin too, as I was invited around with others tomorrow evening, but we will be picking up Mum instead. Making it the last of our pre-xmas cheery get togethers to be missed. Bah humbug. First walk for several days today, slipped down by the sea and walked along looking at the purple sea and orange sky, and thinking how this is a weird and wonderful planet. A nice note from Kay Syrad about being mentioned on Planet Poetry. A bit of stranger things on TV and Brooklyn 99 before bed. ...

Woken in the middle of the night by Maureen saying that Pat was on the floor. Outside, as we rushed off, we couldn't help but notice how bright the stars were. We were there in three minutes. Apprehensive when we were in the lift, but we found Pat had simply slipped out of bed. Maureen had wrapped him up warm. Lorraine and I got him up, no easy task, and tucked him back into bed. Back home again half an hour later, though it took both of us a while to get to sleep. The clocks fell back today, but our extra hour had been used up on alarms in the night. Lorraine and I married 12 years ago today. We agreed on no presents, but Lorraine gave me a card and a little blue glass heart. I got her nothing and felt ashamed of my disorganisation.  A cup of tea in bed for breakfast, and there was another call saying Pat had slipped out of bed again. So we zoomed around picked him up. He was stronger today and able to walk a bit. Lorraine and Maureen monitoring his blood pressure which is high. L...

More fireplace business this morning. Off to speak to a man in a fireplace shop in Seaford, who was very helpful, and ended up telling me about his mother who he lost last year. He gave me some good advice. After talking to Mum and her showing me the fireplace with her iPad, it finally clicked that we could just get the plate and not need all the surrounds. I showed the man in the shop the fireplace, and he showed me where to measure what was there already to ensure we were going to buy the right size of plate.  Lift you off your feet wind today. I went for a long walk, and some of it by the seafront. Was jostled and shoved by the wind. Otherwise bright, and with a white sea, which looked excellent with the white clouds. A bit weary this afternoon after my buffeting walk, and dozed. I am definitely fitting better into my clothes and the persistent walking seems to be helping lots. Spoke to Toby this evening, after he sent me a podcast interview with Brian Eno. Later Lorraine and I ...

A much-needed quiet day with Lorraine. I picked and chopped up a delicious pear from our little pear tree and the final four Kenny farm blueberries to go in our yoghurt with our seeds and nuts this morning. The satisfaction this gives me is hard to overestimate. As it was Sunday, Lorraine and I had a second piece of toast with jam on it. We certainly know how to have fun.  Then we surged into the spidery garden, doing assorted pond related bits and weeding and tidying. We fished out a bucket's worth of assorted pond plants to take to Beth and James. And had also loaded the car up with bags of garden waste from this morning's work, plus a couple of rotten old MDF cupboards and an old storage heater which were littering the garden. At the tip, Lorraine gave a woman a piece of pond mint. Then home and I immediately went for a walk before the expected rain. Listening to Jeeves stories, which are a tad lighter than the Autobiography of Jung. Home just before three, shortly before th...

Up and after two days of pubs, I prepared breakfast and thought about living in an enclosed monkish life contemplating and praying quietly. Lorraine a bit snuffly and coldy. Having eaten and doing some laundry we repaired to the garden and lurked in the open air. Another hot day, but the forecasts say rain is likely in a few days.    In the afternoon I went to Morrisons, bought some jam sugar with pectin, and a bar of chocolate for Lorraine, and then made off to various places where I'd seen blackberries on my travels. I picked a kilo of them, which doesn't sound much but takes plenty of time. The berry gods took their payment in thorn tips in my hands that are impossible to get out, and my shins being stung a good deal by stinging nettles. There is a glut of fruit this year, all a month too early and many of them dried up due to the climate crisis of a summer we have been having. So far August has seen 1% of the average rainfall for the south east of England. I noticed big ju...