under another sun

Lorraine and I up early as a fence man (already thinking of him as the minister of defence) came to have a look at the job to fix our fence with Joy and Jim. A pleasant bloke. Joy was there talking through the hoe in the fence, saying her rose bush was the only thing holding it up. The fence man said it was good we got on. Nearby there were two neighbours in their 70s literally coming to blows when he did a job recently. Both men had the same name.  Then breakfast, with Pat and Maureen, and a day of assorted family members. Beth and James arrived, as there a bed frame was delivered here for them this morning. The move is within touching distance. James worried about it, and the floorboards that still need to be fixed at their flat.  Later, Ken, Lorraine's brother, arrived, and spent a few hours with us and Pat and Maureen. Lorraine showing him around and they lurked in the garden discussing ponds and potato growing bags. He left on the long drive to catch the ferry to Ireland....

Off to Ashford this morning to celebrate Pat's ninetieth birthday -- which like Sam's is actually tomorrow on the 29th -- in a car full of cupcakes and balloons, and boards that Lorraine had painted, and covered with photos of her dad and his family through the years. We also stopped to buy some flowers en route. Sometime later, after following a couple of tractors on the way, we reached the Collingbrook Hotel in Ashford in good time, to discover Ken and Claire in the carpark with two harlequin Great Danes, who were coming to the party too. Soon there were lots of hands on deck prepping the room. It did look very nice. Soon there were thirty three of us. It's hard for me to keep track of Lorraine's family as they are many, but most people I had met before at least once.  Importantly Pat's children were all there, Lorraine, Ken who had hopped over from Ireland, and Derek who had travelled over from Finland.    A really cheerful affair, with Steve kicking off events b...

Had breakfast and chatted with Mum, who was asking me about Maureen. Then Lorraine and I drove off to Ashford to visit Maureen in hospital. An enjoyable drive across country listening to Radio 6. Pat and Maureen's home first for a cup of tea, and to pick up Pat, and off we went to the William Harvey hospital.  Delighted to find Maureen looking a good deal better than I had seen her on screen lately, and sitting up in bed with her eyes twinkling again. They are gradually getting her meds right -- and she has responded. She was very chatty and we all sat about talking for a while. Hoping for the doctor to come to get an idea of what was going on. However Maureen in good spirits, enjoying watching me feel sick as she recounted a tale about seeing the clean white bones of her father's legs, and another one about how she had bandaged up a boy's hand whose finger was hanging on by a string.  Back to Pat's house, where Ken had cooked a roast chicken with all the fixings, inclu...

Ken phoned Lorraine just after seven this morning from hospital, saying he'd driven Maureen there at 4am. Lorraine got up and went straight to Ashford. Maureen stayed all day and was kept in overnight, and Lorraine reached there by mid morning, having bussed to Eastbourne, then caught the train to Ashford and a taxi to the station -- she spent the day with Maureen, who is naturally a bit shattered and was very pleased to have her there, and left late at night and stayed with her Dad and Ken. Everyone concerned about Maureen -- and I spent the day in readiness to drop everything.  Otherwise, worked with Keith this morning to finish things off, but the job dragged on somewhat, which given the circumstances, made me somewhat restless. Had an idea to amend a poem, but concentration these days is a rare commodity.  Otherwise I went for two walks, one just as it was getting dark. It bad been thundering further along the coast, and at one point, turning off the shoreline at the Espla...

Up and working with Keith at 8:30.  Both of us on better form, and work at the conceptual coalface easier.  But nevertheless a sort of dangling day, never feeling quite settled in anything.  Lorraine's new raincoat arrived today, which was good because she deployed it immediately. She drove her car to the other side of town to get its door replaced. Walking back, she stopped for coffee at Adele's house, and they walked into town together.   Maureen having a little more peace of mind after Pauline's funeral yesterday. Lorraine spoke often to her mum and Ken, who called Lorraine for advice from time to time.  Lorraine naturally preoccupied with how Maureen is feeling at the moment. She will go next week to be with them for various appointments. A presentation to the FB, Pat and Perky this afternoon of the stuff Keith and I had been working on. Michel has the gift for infectious enthusiasm and our ideas went down fine. It seems, however, that we will have to work t...

A step forward today, with Lorraine venturing out of the house. We toddled off to five ways and bought some veggies and Lorraine lurked in her favourite gift shop. A big step forward. Home and Lorraine's brother Ken brought Pat and Maureen over from Ashford. Spoke lots to Ken about cameras, and he showed me lots he had taken. His photos of a model railway were featured on a website recently and he is entering lots of competitions.  Nice to see Pat and Maureen who are very happy to be somewhere different for a few days. 

Sam and Pat's birthday, for which a table had been booked at the Cleveland to celebrate. I wasn't able to go of course, and there was no way I could have eaten a pub lunch, as even a small breakfast had left me with sicky burps.  After a much needed shower, I popped downstairs to talk to Pat, Maureen, and Ken. Nice to see them, albeit from the other side of the room. I was joined in the singing of happy birthday. Sam and Pat both liked their presents, then they made off for the Cleveland to meet Beth and James and have a slap up feed.  I repaired back to bed with a cup of tea, and had a nice chat with Mum who showed me Felix who was sitting nearby, and said that she had a long and friendly talk with the evil neighbour's daughter among other news. She was going out in the afternoon too, by car, which had been fixed again.  After chatting with Mum, I fell asleep again while roaming in the Shire.  When they all came back, I crept downstairs again, for my back after a da...

Felt a little sadder and wiser after staying up late. Lorraine made beans on toast for breakfast which did the trick. Off in the car to Ashford where we spent the day with Pat and Maureen and Ken, Lorraine's brother. Nice to hang out. Ken cooked a lovely lunch of roast chicken, and lots of salads and new potatoes and so on. I was offered wine, and accepted a small glass. I have foresworn booze as after months of not drinking hardly anything, a social life returning seems, for me at least, to spell drinking quite a lot. I will turn the tide. Watched some tennis on TV, with Serena Williams being beaten by a robot. Pat showed me the garage where his mates have been playing darts again. He won 'the silly game' again last week. He also gave us some big pots. Maureen in good form and busy plotting new embroidery.  Home very easily again, and it was still light. Sunlight all the way till the downs and a murky mist when we got home. Spoke to Mum who was a bit fed up, and then watch...

Lots of conversations today, chatting to Mum who had got the card I had sent her using her own painting as the design for the front, to Carl who was chipper, and it was great to hear from him, and Anton. Meanwhile Lorraine spoke to her brothers Ken and Derek, and Laura and Claudia, and a quick chat with Sam, and Pat and Maureen.  A clear but cold day. Our bird-free bird bath had ice in it all day. In the afternoon we made off to Hove, and Lorraine had to scrape ice off the car's front window. We met Beth and James outside both in shades and bobble hats and looking like skiers. They stowed a microwave they had picked up for us in the boot. The last one was on its last legs, and Brian  having sprayed on it, so that despite thorough cleaning, when you started to use it it emitted a distinct and unpleasant smell. It simply had to go.  We went for another bargepole style walk, to the seafront as the sun began to slide towards the sea, and the last light of 2020 was beginning t...

Up after not a terrible night, considering it was a strange bed. Had tea in bed, and then scrambled downstairs for a full English with Ken. The owner telling us she had a stroke last year, but gets up at five and clearly does lots herself. Two couples chatting to each other from different tables. Breakfast was fine, with lots of tea, although I had a weird outbreak of twitchiness. We went back to our rooms for a bit, and Lorraine and I did a plum village meditation, which made me feel excellent. I called Mum for a chat, and made an appointment for a massage, which I have been meaning to do for about a year. Then we drove a couple of miles out of Hereford to Aunt Rose's house, where Pat and Maureen had been staying overnight. The house next door is where Maxine, Lorraine's cousin lives with her husband Simon and 14 year old twins. Met Stephen and his Sarah. Stephen, is Lorraine's cousin and Aunt Rose's son. All really nice people. The service was in the afternoon, and ...

Clocks forward today. Lorraine, Betty and I off to Ashford today to see Maureen and Pat. It is Mother's day, and also Lorraine and I will be away in Scotland next weekend, when it is Maureen's birthday.  A nice day there, Lorraine's brother Ken had cooked lamb, which I had not eaten in ages. And Pat and Maureen's old pal Cindy was there too, and it was nice to see her. Beth and Maureen a bit of a double act At one point Maureen screwed up a ball of paper and string and, looking at me darkly, said I throw my rubbish where I throw my love , and chucked it at me. Lorraine and I snuck away for a walk down to the church nearby, and down to a little stream that when she was a child was surrounded by fields that she and her brothers used to swim and catch sticklebacks in. Now it is bordered by new buildings and on one side by the high speed rail link to the Eurotunnel. Home again listening to the wittertainment Kermode and Mayo talking about films. Out of Blue sounds like...

A spot of good news... I got offered some work for next week, which I snapped up. Only a few days but better than nowt. Also heard that Ken had left me a small amount of money in his will, which I was touched by. Otherwise I worked on my new story, and also on the Centaur stuff. I went to the gym and trundled  sweatily for a bit. Generally got my head sorted today. Cooked for Lorraine and we lurked inside watching an episode of Star Trek. Today I discovered  Jesus Blood Never Failed Me Yet today, a piece of music written by Gavin Bryars around a tape of a homeless man singing a refrain from a hymn.  He had been working on a documentary, and the tapes of a drunken singalong were left over. One of the men, a teetotaller, sang this hymn.   You can hear it here.  It starts very quietly, and then adds instruments. I find it moving.

Sad news from Madeline from Ken's family that he is very unwell. Only to be expected I suppose, as he was in poor shape before he lost Janet. Feel very fond of Ken and sad about the whole thing. To the gym late afternoon for a trundle on the cross trainer, listening to The Wine Dark Sea, a story by Robert Aickman. Writing my own stuff... A tweak to the end of  Where the beauty is which has much improved it, and I revisited a short piece I have had published before called Flytrap . A call from my pals in Chiswick over a two words. A chat with Mum. A note to Jane about her work, which is very promising. Note from Trace today, saying she might apply for a job in Guernsey. In the evening Lorraine came home early, and Dawn came to stay which, as ever, was great fun. Lorraine and I used Dawn as an excuse to drink school night wine, which was naughty.

Lorraine and I off to Ashford this morning to see Maureen and Pat and Ken. A nice pork roast cooked by Ken. A relaxed day indoors chatting. Maureen has been busy making figures from a book of 50 knitted dolls. She is knitting Ken a doll next, although there is some debate about whether to include the copious hair included in the pattern. Lorraine and I drove home in the dark and rain, and were back by eight. Below  Maureen with a knitted Santa.

Hideous night of not sleeping. Reminded me of something I'd read on Facebook the other day: 'Insomniacs! Great news. Only three sleeps till Christmas.' I lay awake thinking about lots of troubling things. None more troubling than thinking about No Time Is Passing , the brilliant Robert Aickman story I had read during the day, which became incredibly disturbing when I thought about wide-eyed at 4.00 am. Up and gradually up, although I felt dazed and a bit out of it all day.  We drove around to pick up Betty and John and then drove off to Ashford to see Pat and Maureen, and Ken. We all went to a shop called Longacres at Bybrook Barn, that Maureen is keen on. All manner of things sold there from plants and tropical fish, to (wonderfully) Lebkuchen, as well as things like a Fantasy Unicorn Microwaveable Hottie, and a ceramic angler, man shaped but with a fish face with barbels. Lorraine wondered what a non-fantasy unicorn was. Home and Ken cooked a curry. John said he hoped...

Lorraine ill with a cough, little voice and generally ill.  She however insisted on driving me to the hospice were she dozed in the carpark, and spoke to Maureen on the phone. She didn't go in, not wanting to infect people. Ken, Hus and Caroline there already. Caroline sitting outside the ward had asked to speak to the nurse to find out what the estimate of how long Janet might have is. The nurse said she could not say, but comforted Caroline who got upset about the situation. I had a chat with Caroline and Hus and a cup of coffee outside in the sun, while Janet was having some care.  I went in to check on Ken and he had been curtained out of Janet's bed while she was having some treatment, so I wheeled him outside to join them. I popped in later, and found Janet on her own. So that's an enema, she said with a grim smile. We chatted for a bit, she is perfectly able to talk and answer perfectly cogently, as long as people speak loud enough. She is always on the brink of ...

Another terrible night's sleep, and Lorraine with a cough and cold. All kinds of bad dreams, one involving my shadow , a disgusting version of myself. Another recent dream was being in a plane that because it was not able to fly high enough was skimming the rooftops near the Fulham Palace Road and was about to crash into the agency I once worked at near there. Up and slogging this morning first thing, but at least I had only one job to get done. Worked at this all day almost unrelentingly, till it was sent off late in the afternoon to mes amis in Paris. So the slog, temporarily, ends and I can focus on getting the Janet and Ken situation better managed. A sigh of relief, then I walked to Hove, albeit rather slowly as I have had one of those exhausting sore throats all week, and went to sit with Ken. Reem was there, making me laugh being entirely natural with Ken, and a carer who had dropped in. Reem and the carer left and I sat with Ken and we had over one hundred identical c...

Some of the pressure lifted today. I handed over the last bits of the job for my Paddington friends, who have been kind and understanding. This means that the impossible job of finishing both the Paddington work and the French work by Friday became possible. So after handing over, I spent the rest of the day slogging on the French work, by the end of the day I felt like the deadline tomorrow is now just meetable. In the morning the plumbers came around too and looked at the job, dropped off his invoice finally, and looked at our downstairs loo. I was surprised by Ken's son and his wife had to return home to the midlands today, leaving everyone scrabbling around to look after Ken. I said I'd sit with him tomorrow night. After pilates, an under the weather Lorraine drove us off to Martlets to see Janet.  Janet is on her own in a bare but pleasant room. She was too tired to talk much, so I just sat there holding her hand for ten minutes while she slept, Lorraine hold...

Lorraine and I up and were at Janet and Ken's for 7:30 this morning, shortly after the overnight nurse had left.  Enthusiastic rain and very grey. Apart from a bit of food and drink for Janet, all quiet for the first couple of hours. And Lorraine and I did some work on the sofa, me on my latest French brief and Lorraine on school things. Then Theodora, a really nice woman who had been Janet and Ken's cleaner came, and gave the place a deep clean. The Age UK nurse came, and Lorraine and I got Ken up, gave him coffee, and Lorraine and I took him to the bathroom for a wash. I am copying Lorraine. Then Hus arrived and we pushed off at around 11:30, and did a spot of shopping, and then had breakfast.  Looked at some work briefly, and snoozed briefly and did not much of anything, as the day brightened up outside. Spoke to Mum and Toby. Then Lorraine and I hopped on a bus and made off to Beth and John's flat, where Betty had cooked a roast chicken, and vegetables, and John had b...

Up and sorting a few things to do with work out, and then I walked across to Evolution arts to do stained glass for a couple of hours. Feels a friendly place these days. Yvonne texting me suggestions for horse therapy names during the day, as I'd mentioned this was one of my current briefs. I spent most of my time happily  nibbling bits of glass into shape with pliers. I have accepted slow progress, and no longer strain at the leash, and as a consequence enjoying the class much more. There was classical music on the radio and I said that it was like a rehabilitation centre for people recovering from a mental illness. One of my new classmates said she was an occupational therapist, and this was exactly the kind of thing they did. Then zooming straight to Janet's place for one o'clock. Janet's nieces Kim and Heather had arrived, and Janet was very happy chatting to them. I liked Kim and Heather very much right away.  I spent quite a bit of time with Ken watching him smo...