under another sun

Up and another blessed night of sleeping. I feel so much better for it. Lorraine zoomed off to Beth's house early. I bent over in the bathroom and felt my bloody back go into a nasty spasm, but I was able to walk it off. To drawing class in the Women's Institute. Melissa called me Peter Kenny today which made me smile. Lovely graceful model named Carys. Enjoyed drawing a little more today, but don't feel I'm drawing at my best. After the class I made off to the exhibition in the Crypt, where Adele, who had been in my drawing class, and Mandy were overseeing. Palo and Martin happened to be there. Had not seen Palo for ages, and I had a nice chat with her and Martin, who has been writing a novel for months, and talked to me more than he has ever done. Nice to see them both.  Then home. Lorraine arrived with Enzo. Soon Dawn arrived, and we all spent the afternoon together. Dawn is about to be a grandmother too, so was very excited about that. Lovely to see her. She's b...

I am now going through every section of a full collection of all my poems around the theme of how uncertainty about memory affects identity. There are five sections, with I hope five poems in each section - one of the sections is Gordon Road, so it will make enough for a poetry book. I'm now going through it section by section - there are a few gaps in what I want to say that I am now writing new material to fill. Obviously I have no publisher, so it is all speculative at this point. But I am pleased with the results so far. Lorraine off to her personal trainer this morning. I spoke to Mum who was off with her pals Gail and Emma to celebrate a birthday in the Waggon at lunchtime. I'm going up next Monday. Dawn called around this afternoon, and she and Lorraine went off to see Beth and baby Enzo.  I went on a longish walk. Very windy at times, and much cooler than it has been, I went nosing around Tide Mills and grazing on the occasional blackberry when I found one. Home and joi...

Dawn and Paul due for lunch, but Paul had to pull out at the last moment. Always a treat to hang out with Dawn however. She arrived looking so sweet with the most beautiful colour combinations. Lots to catch up on with her, but I also I left the ladies to it for a bit so not to harsh their buzz with my Y chromosome. In the evening in our crammed schedule, off to Hove to see Innis and Rosie. Lorraine cooked for us, and we were just about to tuck in when Rosie clarified that we were round there for our dinners too. A cheery evening, me in a novel move, bringing round some alcohol free lagers. Innis and I had a proper beer then one of alcohol free ones, which to my surprise was lovely and crisp. Lovely dinner. Innis saying he is very busy zooming about collecting dead birds to take them to the laboratory to check whether they have bird flu -- one of his jobs, when he is not being a coastguard and photographer. Rosie full fun and energy, more so than I have seen her for a while since her M...

A sunny Monday, I was woken early by a scam text, with a message saying 'Dad, save my new number'. I went to my desk early to listen to the interview Robin had with Ellen Cranitch. After breakfast  Lorraine surged out into the garden and was very productive while Robin and I did some podcast recording, and talked about our poetry reading in Lewes at the Elephant and Castle pub on Friday 9th May. I spoke to Mum a couple of times and I wrote to the registrars to chase the death certificate. Lorraine and I did a quick scoot around Morrisons for food shopping.    In the afternoon lovely Dawn came around, and she and Lorraine hung out. I mainly left them to their own devices, and did my own writing in the afternoon. Later I went for a walk for an hour and a half by the seaside to use up the calories.   Below hellebore flowers in our garden and a strange little fly.

Lorraine and I had an excellent afternoon with Dawn and Paul in Bramber, having super healthy food in their back garden, under trees. I stuck to a single glass of wine. They are getting married at the beginning of September. There have been some difficult times due to health issues in the family, and with Paul, but they are strong now as a couple, and Dawn seems very happy. Some time ago she randomly bought a painting of a view in a charity shop. When I looked at it some years ago I realised it was of Saints Bay and the dog and lion in Guernsey. Dawn had this reframed and gave it to us, which was incredibly kind of her. Lorraine gave her some rose gold earrings, and Dawn said that they had chosen rose gold for their wedding rings. All lovely. Home and a frenzy of tidying up. As there had been a change of plan, and Toby was arriving early evening. I walked to Seaford and met him on the station, and trundled home. Great to see him. He was a bit shattered from travelling, and is getting o...

My lovely Lorraine's birthday. I brought her tea in bed and quite a few cards and an ecard from Mum -- and a couple of pressies from me, a print by Charlie Mackesy and a book about food cultures. A cheery start to the day, Beth calling first thing, and Pat and Maureen called to sing happy birthday. After looking around at the garden, we mooched off into Seaford and bought a few bits, like flavoursome water kaffir from a stand, where Lorraine talked fermentation with the stand holder. Then into the supermarket to pick up some salty snacks for the afternoon. Luckily it soon became sunny as Anton, Dawn, and Rosie and Innis came round to celebrate. Anton bearing orchids, and Dawn bringing a chaenomeles and a cake. Innis and Rosie brought a marvellous flan a little greenhouse tin, and heart shaped plant labels, beautiful twine and a book about things to do in east sussex.  A clear theme. We sat in the back garden in the sun on our new garden furniture, having a drink and eating buffet s...

Ah merciful warmth. The new boiler is fully installed. Heat coursed around the house late this afternoon, and it was glorious. Obviously this had been the coldest week of the year, but now that we have heat, and hot water too, everything is glorious. Chris had done an excellent job, and is a lovely bloke. This morning, I mooched off to shops, and during the day there was a certain amount of gardening, poking bamboo sticks into the ground by the raspberries and gojiberries and trying the bamboo tripods at the top to the pergola and other rugged manly stuff.   Dawn came around for lunch.  We sat in the kitchen, eating Lorraine's delicious vegetable lasagne, and having long chat. For one reason or another we'd not seem much of Dawn for a while -- and there was even a swap of Christmas presents. Including a wee bottle of their home made sloe gin. After Dawn left, it was possible to move around the house without a blue nose, and have a shower and not be savaged by arctic skuas etc....

Up in the middle of the night thanks to Brian traipsing around the house meowing like a broken alarm clock with a catnip fish in his mouth. I read a note that Lorraine had eventually got home at 2am. Maureen stayed in hospital today. They want to capture her next episode of not feeling well to find out what is going on. Lorraine staying with Pat, and ferrying him into hospital, and making sure everyone is okay. Feel a bit useless here, but someone has to take care of the cats. Sam kindly volunteered to come down to Seaford if that would help.  Otherwise I was up at sunrise. Steve and his friendly young neighbour came around to collect a fridge from the workhouse. Let them in from the back alley, and Laurel and Hardy'd it into the van. Steve returned with the useful trolley a bit later and had a cup of tea. Lorraine had made quite a few plans for social things, but will have to cancel. She spoke to Dawn -- as we were supposed to go to a classical concert tonight with her and Paul. ...

Decidedly cold again. A bit hungover and had a bacon and egg breakfast, then off to the outskirts of Steyning along Maudlin Lane to Paul and Dawn, who had looked after our garden plants for weeks.  We hefted most of them into the car including the two acers in big pots, and then were taken inside to be given cheese toasties and coffee, and sit near the fire for a bit. But as Paul was working, and Dawn had to go out, we were soon driving home, with the pots clinking and shifting about as we went round roundabouts and so on. Then home and more hefting, and then after a smidge of writing, with neither of us feeling particularly lively, we watched football, which I really enjoyed: Brasil losing to Croatia on penalties, and Argentina beating the Netherlands on penalties. The games looking great on our new TV.

So up early, in our amazing new house, braced to receive lots of movers. We prepared ourselves to receive all our belongings, and were ready at nine. The delivery was delayed, however, and the removals people didn't arrive till 12:20 as they had staff issues. Friendly bunch as before, one talking lots to Lorraine, who sat outside on a chair in the street and told them which room to put everything in and discussed trading an aquarium for a fridge freezer with one of the movers. I faffed about indoors, unpacking kitchen stuff, and pointing and so on. They were finally done at five-ish and the cats were allowed out of the utility room, and we finally closed the door on the day. Marvellous, and bloody tiring. We are now surrounded by innumerable boxes and objects in the what feels like the world's largest Tetris puzzle.  Dawn popped by -- a very welcome distraction, and our first guest. She brought us a happy new home card, a vase and some roses, and also a birthday card and a pres...

Dawn popped around this afternoon. So nice to see her, and so nice for Lorraine to be able to be able to sit and chat with her combing enough hair off Calliope to knit a jumper with. Dawn getting married next May all being well. Exiting! In the spirit of thorn grasping, I called the doctor because of weird guts. A conversation this afternoon created a swift response and I popped down to collect a kit for the poo doctors. Was called efficiently by the hospital the same day who will want a new blood test and probably a colonoscopy. Currently managing hypochondria but all this not well timed for the holiday. More thorn grasping with the bank. Because of my great Natwest business account saga of 2021 that lasted for six months I was left with having my business account not linked to my personal account on the same online page and so on. Fixed this at last (I hope) after talking to four people. New teeshirts arrived. Stripes! Lorraine and I finished watching Star Trek Next Generation, which...

A low impact sort of day, chatting with Lorraine and sauntered off with her to do a spot of shopping at one point. Nice to have the house to ourselves for the weekend too. Saturday evening was fun. Lorraine and I went out with Dawn and Paul who are going to get married next May. Certainly an eventful time, they've had, with a near death experience in a Scottish loch, a proposal in the grounds of Balmoral, and home to a bout of Covid. Really pleased to see Dawn so happy, and I find I am liking Paul more and more. He is full of ideas. They were keen to hear details of our house move and so on.  They seem very happy and this is really cheering. 

Having covid on her sixtieth birthday, wasn't ideal. All plans dashed. But we were able to laugh in bed this morning this would at least be memorable. We got up and showered and wore proper clothes. Still Lorraine had lots of lovely presents, and cards and calls and messages including Pat and Maureen singing happy birthday down the phone. I spoke to Kate and Ian as Lorraine was in the back garden. Beth had scampered through the house to sit in the back garden with Lorraine for a bit. Sam collected a curry for us later.  Adele also called around, dropping off a surprise pressie for Lorraine, and we had a distanced conversation.   Dawn called, saying that she and Paul had a near death experience on holiday yesterday, capsizing a canoe in a strong current in a loch. Both where shaken and extremely cold. They had to let the canoe go, and they managed to make the shore, where some angelic drivers gave them a lift into warmth and safety. The day was fine. Although I probably felt il...

A day without freelance work, which was good. Although I had some bits and pieces to do. Lorraine being careful, and taking daily PCR tests, in case she picked up anything nasty from school. A walk in the Knepp Estate with Dawn and Paul, and Rosie and Innis, staying outside by way of avoiding Omicron. Paul told me he had links to the place, and knew the ecologist there and gave talks with them. A long walk for Lorraine, but it was fun. It is a large farm that has been rewilded and has cranes and beavers and ancient looking cattle with meaningful horns. Also large lakes.  Ate food outside on a little wall, where Lorraine quietly scoffed all the cheesy biscuits Rosie had brought with her. Paul and Dawn getting on very well, which is good to see.  The estate has an old eel house, which made me think of a poem by Janet Sutherland from her collection Home Farm 'pools where eels still hide trapped in a storage well,/somersaulting, tumbling and unbalancing.'

An utter deluge first thing, then off this morning to Steyning, to have brunch with Dawn at her house. It had been her birthday a few days ago. Also invited where Dawn's old pals Mark and Jane and Denise, all of whom I have met several times. I bumped into Jane in the park the other day with Toby. Most newsworthy was that we also met Paul, Dawn's new man friend. He was well read open and chatty, and born the same year as me.  Everyone had bought assorted food with them, and Dawn had been making her famous quiche with a baked rice base. Lorraine and I brought a courgette loaf, which we had made yesterday.  Dawn often has good parties, and this one was featured lunchtime dancing in her wee front room, and Dawn stage diving from her sofa into everyone's arms. She is prone to this sort of thing from time to time. All very cheery. Dawn and I swapped birthday presents too and she gave me a book called All Art is Ecological by Timothy Morton, who the back jacket calls the philoso...

Kippers for breakfast this morning. Sam absent, however, having managed to stay up all night reading in the kitchen coupled with alphabetising all the cookery books on the shelves. Lorraine busy preparing the contents of a chicken, tarragon, and leek pie, cooked in white wine and stock. Delicious. Tobs and I spent a happy afternoon, we walked up to the Hillfort and around threading through bits of woods and so on, and stopping off at last in the cafe in Blaker's park where we shared another flapjack and had some coffee and talked for hours about everything that mattered. It is just really good to spend time with him. Just as we were drinking my coffee I noticed I had an email with another query about an invoice, so I had to pop home and sort this, which didn't take long. Cups of tea and toasties later. Lorraine came home after having popped in to see Dawn, whose birthday it is today. She then proceeded to make what would turn out to be divine individual pies, while I peeled spu...

An enjoyable birthday, not overburdened by the usual existential crises. A busy day. Breakfast with Lorraine, and then an early morning coffee with Beth and Sam who got up too. Gifts of high-quality socks too from Beth, and Sam and Pat and Maureen. Lorraine is going to buy me a camera, and I am going to consult with Innis on a good one to get. I love taking snaps, and it would be nice to have an excellent camera.  Messages from Toby and a beautiful e-card from Mum. Maureen and Dawn both phoned me to sing happy birthday, and facebook full of nice messages too. A lovely text from Rosie. I took delivery of a box from Fortnum, which contained a small library of beers from Catherine and Tanya. Also a poem and a St. Martin's parish an old magazine on memories the Occupation from Richard and Jane.  In the evening after Lorraine had returned home with a birthday carrot cake with a candle, and I had put on some high quality socks, Sam, Lorraine and I drove down to the Shahi, where we m...

A leisurely morning, mostly in bed. I got up and toddled around the corner to buy some sliced chewy brown bread. After breakfast Lorraine and I went into the garden and busied ourselves planting things for the slugs to eat and moving pots about and repotting stuff.  Dawn came by at two armed with clotted cream, an enormous scone and strawberries. It was lovely to see her, and for Lorraine and I to actually give her a hug. We sat outside in the back garden chatting. She told us how her family has been approached, in a very disturbing and hostile way, by someone claiming to be related to them. The pandemic is turning people crazy. Very nice to be setting the world right with Dawn after far too long.  Sam and Jade like church mice all day, having gone to bed very late last night indeed as is only right and proper in the young uns.   Later in the afternoon, Lorraine and I settled down to watch a bit of the European cup, the important matter of Denmark vs Finland. The game in ...

 Lorraine and I off today to Steyning to hang out in the field behind Dawn's house on chairs with Dawn, Anton, Rosie and Innis. A cool but sunny day, and when I got back home Lorraine and I both had glowing red faces with sunburn. Just ace to be chatting with old friends again, celebrating Lorraine's birthday this week. Anton bought one of his impeccable Polish baked cheesecakes, and Rosie brought a delicious salad full of all manner of goodies, Dawn baked one of her famous flans shaped with rice instead of flour, and we drank a few drinks and generally caught up with one another. Anton said it was the furthest he had been outside Brighton for half a year.  It is the simple pleasures of seeing friends that is so important.  Innis and Anton discussing playing cards in enthusiastic detail.  Lovely village field, with people walking their dogs, and one neighbour who knew Dawn, coming to tell us about his newish dog in even more enthusiastic detail for at least ten minut...

A good night's sleep and much perkier. Dawn called by and dropped off a bag of herbal medicine creams and so on for Lorraine. Stood outside chatting with her for a little. Lorraine's whole day until 7:30 consumed with school stuff and being quietly magnificent as she prepares to reopen tomorrow. Beacon of truth and scientific rigour Boris Johnson declared 'schools are safe'. Starmer proposed a national lockdown starting tomorrow, SAGE advisers think going back to school is a bad idea too. I expect Johnson to dither for another week, racking up tens of thousands of more infections, before doing the right thing. My powerlessness at this time makes me feel very stressed. All I can do is support Lorraine as best I can. Heroes led by donkeys.  Took myself for a walk to the usual places, and just the boon of some exercise made me feel a lot better. I continued to organise things in my study, and do filing and so on. It feels good. Made a Guernsey bean jar today, its aromatic ...