under another sun

A very productive day today. I have a new strategy which involves meditation, and trying to tune out the health related panic sweeping the globe. I have suffered from anxiety off and have experienced debilitating panic attacks in my twenties and early thirties, my panic was always focused on my own body and health. This current crisis would have to go some to be more triggering for me, I am finding that my coping strategies acquired over the decades are being deployed now to good effect. Anyway, I did a good day's work, and was cheered by being contacted by a parent whose child wants a copy of Magnificent Grace . Sonya wanted a signed copy too, so I obliged. Betty went out on a shopping spree today and returned triumphantly with a four pack of toilet rolls. She stopped off at the Preston Park Tavern and I took my life in my hands and joined her for a beer there. Talked about doing some more theatrical stuff together in the new year, after I have written Grace 2 and launched Sin...

Up and did a smidge of work before heading down to the doctors for an 8:55 appointment. A very young woman doctor saw me exactly on time, and she was excellent. I went about my ears. which are in a parlous state. I have irritable eustachian tubes, which seem to affect my balance and give me tinnitus and so on. I did feel a bit a wuss sneaking in to discuss my ears, in the quiet before the storm.  The place was empty, and there were only one or two people in the spacious waiting room. Straight to the pharmacy to pick up some nasal drops, as all the tubes are connected in your head somehow.  Then to the pharmacy, where while I was there a French guy came in and said he had cold like symptoms. They asked him if he had a dry cough, and when he said yes the workers there took a step back. I was already a step or so back and added to them.  Other than that simply came home, walking through the park. Tiredness and lack of focus adding to the sore throat I've had and so nat...

Up early and feeling nervous. I got into good clothes and once my minder Dawn had called around zoomed off to Downs Junior school not too far away with boxes of books. Dawn who left the school last summer, being hugged and kissed by all the teachers. Then I sat in a hall full of children rowdily filing into their classrooms from the playground. There was an interlude of calm in which I collected myself. Then Dawn came back and we sat on the edge of the stage together and a couple of hundred or so children filed into the hall. I was introduced and then talked about the fact I had been to Downs before and earlier children had given me feedback, and that Downs had a special influence on the writing of it. Then read, pretty well I thought, the first chapter of the book. Children very well behaved and very attentive. Then I plunged into four classrooms for long sessions with the kids talking about things like unfairness and prejudice, and skeleton videos and what kind of pseudonyms they w...

Jaded this morning, but continuing with the sequel to Magnificent Grace codenamed Grace 2 at the moment. Just bits and pieces of scenes at the moment but it is wonderful to be back in that space. I have been asked to visit a nearby school in Brighton, and talk to around 240 nippers, and hopefully sell them quite a few books. I was offered a job that would take eight days this morning, and had a brief glimpse of being on top of my day to day finances. Snatched away, sadly, as their budget was a tiny -- I would effectively have been working for free for five days so had to decline. The French Bloke called me this afternoon to chase some amends I had been given on Monday. I had done it on Monday evening, and sent it there and then. But it had languished in their spam folders. Then sent me some feedback on a smidge of stuff to do tomorrow. Went for a walk into town to buy a card for Lorraine and do some shopping. Passed a bloke with a facemask in what is the coronavirus capi...

Was thinking about the via negativa and St John of the Cross on the way to work this morning. For it is only once you have given up any hope or expectation that a train to Hampton will arrive will a train to Hampton arrive, albeit slightly delayed. A fine end to the week. Arrived at the agency on time. Had another nice day, Keith was there, and Pat and the French Bloke and Perky and working with Carolyn, a very pleasant account person. It was in the afternoon that I had one of the best calls of my writing life, when I spoke to young Elijah  Max and the FB's exceptional son. He wanted to talk about Magnificent Grace, and we chatted for about twenty minutes. He loved the book, and I was tremendously cheered by his response. He found it funny, and loved the way it combined magic and politics and generally gave me feedback that made me feel that someone had read the book and completely got it. Wonderful feeling of vindication. Also spoke to Max, who it was lovely to chat to her too....

Greatly cheered by an old pal Nicki (aka Ricky Nose) getting in touch today, saying her son Lenny can't put Magnificent Grace down, and that he wants me to sign his copy. This kind of feedback from a real reader is a real boost.

Lorraine and I had a poor night's sleep, compounded by an alien cat getting through the cat flap and a howling fight breaking out at 3.00 AM.  Nevertheless pp early with Lorraine and competed the first draft of my new horror story by about noon. Still tinkering with the title. I will put this aside now for a couple of days. Right now I like its stalkerish creepiness. Then three small boxes of books arrived containing a few dozen copies of Magnificent Grace . I had been dreading the moment I opened it looked through a copy and found a howling formatting error or something. Luckily, I could find none and pronounce myself satisfied. There was something very satisfying about popping open a box of books and seeing this story finally realised in book form. Now there is the business of taking it into schools. Put out the standard box shot on social media, and had some nice attention -- even a couple of people saying they would buy it. Maintaining cautious optimism. Off to the gym for ...

Lorraine managed to do her own shoes up this morning, and go about business on her own. She is doing well. Horrible nightmares last night, waking up to feelings of obscure doom. Perhaps it was just that it was Monday. Or perhaps I am not writing enough horror at the moment to vent it all. Stern focus and unrelenting drive somewhat elusive at present. I spent the morning tinkering with the layout of Magnificent Grace . Then I pressed save, and went to the gym. At the gym I realised I was a bit premature, and there was something else I wanted to fix. Will have to wait a bit before this can happen. A few bits of admin arranging visits to schools. A quiet tea-sipping night indoors. Spoke to Mum and we agreed to meet up on Friday. All quiet on the freelance front at the moment, as it usually is this time of year.

A leisurely start today, with breakfast in bed. Up and found that the Proof copy of the paperback of Magnificent Grace had arrived. Generally pretty pleased with this when I had a look. A couple of issues I will try to fix. Actually having the thing in your hand makes it seem very real. A certain amount of pottering about the house with an increasingly handy Lorraine before we took ourselves out for the afternoon and off to the Duke of York's picture house to buy a cup of tea and see the new Sam Mendes film 1917 .  As harrowing as you would expect a depiction of trench warfare to be, but brilliantly done and filmed to make it seem it was one continuous shot. Probably the best war film I have seen. Lorraine loved it too, although it was a tough watch, saddening and extremely moving. Walked home talking about the moving, and then had a very relaxed evening on the gold sofa.

Up slightly later, and Beth drove Lorraine was off to the fracture clinic. Turns out the doctor she saw there was a parent of a child at school. Good news, however, the break was very clean and Lorraine now has a wrist support rather than a sling, and has been told she can do light things, such as a bit of typing, with the hand. Getting the cast off was good, and prevents L having to probe with pokey things under the plaster when she felt an itch. Meanwhile at least another hour spent in a futile search for my Harry Potterish lost spectacles. I have now spent four or five entire hours ransacking the house from room to room in search of the bastard things, which I still believe must be in the house. Made a bean jar today, but somehow it wasn't right. Slightly too much carrot, and an hour undercooked in its slow cooking process, nor did I add real chicken stock. Worst of all, as I had no fresh parsley, I experimented with coriander. It transpires that coriander in a bean jar is a...

The first Monday of the year, and Lorraine collected by one of her colleagues Max, and driven off to school. I felt strangely anxious first thing, but having wrote a list of things to be done this week, managed to carve through them all by 11 o'clock.  Paid my accountant, billed an agency, rearranged a school visit and made the decision to go with Amazon for the production of the paperback of Magnificent Grace , as there is less risk and initial outlay. Preparing the manuscript again. Also took myself off to the gym for the great atonement, I am much less fat than I was this time last year though which is pleasing. A throng of new year newbies being shown around. Beth also back to her gym the last couple of days.  Spoke to Anton, to Mum about the financial advantages of being 60, and to Dawn about going into school among other things. Lorraine was home from work at an unprecedented 5 pm. Managed to eat chocolate and a shoal of  lebkuchen so the diet part of it not bein...

Another gold sofa day, but a little better. Greatly boosted by a text this morning from Lorraine saying one of the kids at school is reading Magnificent Grace and apparently can't put it down and is already on Chapter 10. Spoke to Mum and things are a bit more settled at home.  I loafed about and was grateful not to be able to recover without having to schlepp to London or attempt to meet some hideous deadline, but still managing to feel a bit galled at this waste of time. Watching a Netflix series called Colony which isn't too bad.  Beth out tonight, and very happy to be with Lorraine at home on the sofa watching Masterchef and going to bed early. Lorraine working at reaching the end of term before she reaches the end of her tether, bless her. Only a week to go. A rainbow glimpsed from my office this morning.

Up early to spend the morning working on the French job around cat vaccinations, so spending lots of time looking at pictures of adorable cats at the moment and read, as I irritably fling my own cats off my desk, that cats respond to playing and attention. Interspersed with this, I readied myself for the school visit. Made off at lunchtime to Hateful Heath station and taxied out to St Giles school, in Horsted Keynes. Driven by a charming taxi driver, who chatted nicely as drove into something approaching the middle of nowhere by S.E. English standards. A lovely little school, that you walked through the churchyard to get to.  I arrived early and was greeted by the headteacher, one of Lorraine's contemporaries, Hilary. Then I was collected by a very polite boy, the class bishop apparently, who led me a few paces to the classroom. Pleased at last to be doing it, after thinking about it for a while. An hour in the class with the class teacher Alison. My plan going instantly out of t...

Up early with Lorraine and working hard to finish the first round of the tricky job for Pat. Had to email him to say that it wouldn't be ready till a little after noon. I sent it, but his email had problems, so it turns out he didn't get it at all today. I then got busy on the first on a small job and a longer job for amis in Paris. All in all a bit of a desk manacled day today. In between this I did some prep for my school visit for on Wednesday. My Magnificent Grace flyers arrived today, which I was pleased about -- one less thing to worry about on Wednesday. Structuring my session, having picked Lorraine, Rosie and Dawn's brains on the matter. Have judiciously decided   that careful preparation means less stress. Lorraine being very helpful when she got home from work too. Beth poorly, so I took her a cup of tea and bought her some special soup from Sainsbury's where I went to collect my Argos order of two printer inks at lunchtime.  Feeling quite busy, which is ...

Up very early and slogging on the job for Pat's agency. I managed about five hours before having to break feeling that I had not cracked the problem yet, and this isn't even a concept challenge, it is merely rewriting a brochure. Brief chats with Sonia about the gorgeousness of Bulgarian weather, among other subjects,  I bussed off to Hove to meet Rosie in the Hixton Green cafe. We sat under the Christmas tree, and had a very fruitful conversation about Skelton Yawngrave and Magnificent Grace. Rosie is very creative when it comes to education so it I learned lots, and gained some good tips on next Wednesday's visit. We shared a pot of tea and tucked into cake, a large slice of carrot cake for me in lieu of lunch. A short howdy with Innis after, who was off to Portugal soon on a shoot, and Innis and Rosie gave me a lift to Hove station, whereupon I trained it to Hateful Heath. I noticed an old university chum Callum in the cafe there but as he was deep in a business meet...

Up early, with Lorraine, who scuttled off early. Beth off for another day of flat clearing. I worked quietly in the morning, and then went to the gym. Did my usual round of lightish weights and then started on the cross trainer. After about four minutes stabbing chest pains began, which I put down to indigestion. After a few minutes of this I made myself rather alarmed, to the extent I climbed off the cross trainer and mooched towards my doctor's surgery which, now it has moved happens to be across the road. However by the time I got near its door I was fine, and then burped, curing everything. I went straight back to the gym feeling sheepish, and picked up where I left off.  Lorraine home a bit early today, and we had a nice chat before I travelled to Lewes on a windy night to the needle makers reading. There were four readers among them Clare Best, and Robert Hamberger, both of whom were excellent. Another chap read prose, and there was a woman reading the sort of poems I find...

A quiet day, weather raining or thinking about raining all the time. Lorraine and I mooched across the park this morning, and on the way back bought tasty but dear Sussex produce from a little stand and vehicles that appear there on Saturdays. In the evening Dawn, Innis and Rosie came around for dinner and a few drinks. Lorraine cooking an excellent pie made with filo pastry and spinach and feta cheese and sun dried tomatoes -- and bread and butter pudding! (One of the allowable puddings.) Lorraine and I had a really nice evening catching up with everyone. Rosie, who is steadily recovering from her horrid time in hospital, being very encouraging about Magnificent Grace , and about getting me into schools with her to discuss writing and so on. Very happy with this. Lovely to see Dawn of course. She has had lots to cope with recently too, the death in a year of both her parents, and the breakup of a relationship. But she is unselfish and lovely woman. Innis seemed in good spirits. Em...

Quiet day, and I am a bit in-between projects at the moment. Had another look at my new story, The Hounding , but have decided to park it for a bit before I make final changes. Waiting on the cover before I can upload Magnificent Grace. Went to the gym again for the third day in a row, which felt good. I and was asked by Pat to come in and work on a project tomorrow up in Hampton, which is excellent, and good timing too. Chatted to Beth this morning, and took her coat off to be dry cleaned. She is being resilient and getting out seeing friends and making a few new ones. Wish I had a magic wand to make it all better.

A rainy Mondays. Began work on a new story called Lithops which had formed in my head waiting to be written. Betty staying with us for a bit. And Lorraine home early from work for a change, which was lovely to see. Have briefed an artist to redraw the kindle cover of Magnificent Grace .

Absolute bloody final edit of Magnificent Grace completed. But I will read it through again a couple of times before it is uploaded in September just to be sure. One of those moments, of no importance to anyone else, but nevertheless feels significant. I feel excited at the prospect of being able to think about something else tomorrow. After this was done I made off to the gym in London road and walked back through the park. I feel emptied out and uninspired. Home, and disinclined to stare at any more pages, blank or otherwise, I watched documentaries about space travel, what with it being 50 years since Apollo 11 blasted off for the moon. An entirely psychological tiredness over me this evening, and Lorraine, who was late due to the school show, drained too. To bed early.