under another sun

Up early and into my study with a new sense of purpose. Began looking at a story that was rejected last week, but with a highly encouraging note from the editor. Also the idea that if One Day Forever is being published, that tidies away quite a few poems, leaving room for the new project.  Being me, my mind is busy creating a thousand reasons why it will all go wrong, but I just have to ignore them. I have been contacting people slowly, as I feel superstitious about it. But today I let Carl and Bob know.   Penny came round this morning, to spend some time with Lorraine. I spoke to her for a while. Her mother died recently, and she is naturally still sad. She was very kind and congratulated me on the book. They made off into Seaford, for a bite to eat, and I had a much-needed gym session. I seem to have put on weight since Monday.  Spoke to Mum, who was fine, although there is a small problem with the car that Ben is helping her with.  In the evening, when Lorraine w...

Up early again enjoying sitting at my desk and thinking about words. After breakfast and Sylwia arriving Lorraine went off to Rhyme Time, and I spent a few hours editing the Kansas story, which I think is going to be called The Follower Followed or maybe just The Follower.  I hacked hundreds of words from it, and probably needs a bit more. It's still over six thousand words and its completion has been hampered by being ill and so on. Taking lots of time over something doesn't necessarily equal quality though.   I had a bite to eat, and then popped around to Melissa's house for a review of my drawings, which soon evolved into talking about art and life more generally. She's thinking of doing a performance piece later in the year, and is a properly creative person. I left with lots to think about. Talking with Melissa helped me realise I have been putting too much weight on the drawing and should just trust myself to explore the possibilities, rather than being goal focus...

Unusually bad night's sleep. Enjoyed breakfast with Lorraine, and general pottering about and a spell at my desk, plus the good clean fun of laundry. Lorraine was doing personal training and so on. I spoke to Mum during the day. Wynford called me this afternoon, and in the evening I spoke for 45 mins with Ben. Lovely how Mum's neighbours are so full of care for her. Ben thinks Mum should be doing Tai Chi. A longish walk by the sea on a bright and sunny day. The sun puts a different complexion on things but I felt heavy hearted. I called Carl and it was great to talk to him, a touch of the Watson common sense was exactly what was needed. Home, and Lorraine was back with Beth and Enzo. And our wildlife pond had frogspawn in it, that Lorraine brought over from Beth's garden. Beth is well, and had a long business call this afternoon with her work folks. Meanwhile Enzo literally a bouncing baby, and bouncing up and down with excitement quite a lot of the time. I bounced him on m...

In the hotel, the late jalfrezi with Carl, a fiery making itself felt through the night, but the bed was comfortable enough. Walked out into the murdery bit, and discovered my door had been slightly open all night.  Greeted by a scowling woman at reception, who demanded 'What do you want?' I explained I was staying there and wanted some breakfast. She was the cook, so blurted out I wanted scrambled eggs and beans. I watched one of the maintenance guys eating his toast over the meagre display of cheese and ham. Self service faux coffee, and toast with sunflower spread. To be fair the plate covered in rubbery scrambled eggs and about a tin of beans. Back to my room to do some work on Kansas.  Then off to explore the old town of Runcorn. Looked at murals under the bridge, which were really rather lovely, see below, and marvelled at the gorgeous gold of the Chedi outside of the temple, an exotic contrast to the Englishness of the scene around it. I then had a coffee in Costa, and ...

Kissed Lorraine, and made off for Runcorn. Felt unusually stressed this morning, not helped by clowns on the line between Clapham Junction and East Croydon causing delays. I relaxed once I was aboard the Runcorn train, which is only couple of hours from St Pancras. Tried to find the Campanile Hotel just by Runcorn Station but couldn't. Google maps had a breakdown saying, barking out, turn left, turn right, turn left, while I stood on the pavement. Turns out the hotel has new owners.  The reception area staffed by one person, the duty manager. She told me to expect a 'motel' feel. The room, when I got there, very basic but the sheets were clean. Outside was a bit of lawn, and a few trees and the roundabout. It looked like where a body is found in mysterious circumstance in an ITV crime drama. I went back to reception after a short cat nap and awaited Carl. The duty manger, a pleasant woman called Kit told me she had degree in law, and was very chatty. I said about the murder...

Breakfast with Mum, filled her up with seeds and live yoghurts, toast etc. Not long after, Beth and Enzo in matching pyjamas came by, and Mum met Enzo for the first time and was as enamoured by the little lad as everyone else.  I peeled many root vegetables. Later Lorraine and I zoomed around Morrisons and then took Mum to see Pat and Maureen. A nippily gorgeous day with the sun on the sea. Maureen pleased to see Mum. We made plans about tomorrow's festivities. Mum and I went out by the sea for a bit for five minutes or so, but it was parky a piercing north east wind.   Early evening and we took Mum to the Old Boot Inn, where we met up with Delores. The pub was rammed, and flukily we managed to get a table. Mum liked the busy festive throng. Melissa was on a nearby table and we chatted to her and Chris her husband as they were leaving. I assured Melissa that I would eagerly return to her drawing class next term. Chris, one of the rebooters, turned up too with his son Keiran, w...

Woke up in the spare room this morning, with Lorraine coming in to say hello. The baby slept like a baby last night, and Beth did too, and had colour in her cheeks this morning. Enzo adorable this morning, Lorraine getting in some cuddles with him, before driving them home then went on to see Pat and Maureen, and work her way through a long list of to-dos.  I had intended to submit a completed manuscript for a poetry competition, as today is the deadline but last week's illness put the kibosh on that. In a selva oscura  with my writing, and thinking about it just makes me feel hopeless. So... If in doubt tidy up. So I tidied up for hours, did laundry, shopped, cooked, and swept up the muddy clods of moss which accumulate outside our front door have been chucked off our roof by the pesky returning seagulls.  Went for a walk in a break in the rain.  Carl called, as I am hoping to visit him soon, and was talking about a night out in Liverpool. What could go wrong? Also ...

Up fairly early, and a proper breakfast with Lorraine. Then Lorraine went off to do Rhyme time and I interviewed the poet Richard Scott. I really liked him and his work. Toby called shortly before this from Japan. Later I spoke to Mum and arranged to see her next Monday. Also Carl called, having got home at 1.00am last night. I did a few bits of tidying, and putting suitcases back in the loft but was generally quite shattered and confined myself to listening to a podcast about my favourite horror-type writer Robert Aickman. Very happy to be at home today, and potter about getting stuff done. Lorraine zoomed off at tea time to Eastbourne and collected the pottery she'd made. Lovely stuff and I was proud of her. Lorraine experimenting with new highly healthy recipes with beans and pulses and veggies and feta and so on. A few episodes of Frasier and an early night. We're almost on the final series now. Boo. Lorraine's first ever pots...  

Off to London this morning to see Bob and Carl on what was Carl's 67th birthday. I met Bob first and we found a pub to sip some soft drinks and then, having received a message, met Carl loitering outside the National Portrait Gallery. Under a leather jacket, he was sporting a Munch's scream, teeshirt except the figure was Charlie Brown. Off to the pub for a quick pint in the Chandos before we returned to look at the Munch portrait exhibition in the NPG. We all enjoyed this lots -- really absorbing and psychological portraits. Carl zooming about ahead of course, and Bob and I a bit more methodical. We were also pointed to another room we paid particular attention to a room full of Stanisław Wyspiański (1869-1907) pictures also excellent.  Mainly though the day was about talking, and catching up with each other and hear about the families. Bob's daughter Millie about to graduate, Carl's Ellie pressing on with her podcast with her pal Jade, called Really F*cking Trying -- ...

Up to London with the sparrows, to meet Carl by Waterloo Bridge. Was an hour early and so sat in the RFH nursing a coffee and scribbling in my notebook. The cafe full of excitable graduates in mortar board hats and members of their proud families. Good to see the building used in that way. Met Carl, as he had crossed the Hungerford footbridge. And we went back the RFH for another coffee. Loads to catch up on as we sauntered along the South Bank and had lunch in Gourmet Pizza at Gabriel's wharf, sensibly sharing a pizza and sparkling water. (Where Reuben, Kate and I used to take copy shop favourites). Then to the Tate to see the  Expressionism exhibition. When we are together, and with Bob too, we all automatically want to see art. Carl particularly fond of Expressionists. Lots of Kandinsky, who I've never much liked, until I saw them in the flesh today. Carl doing his trademark brisk flitting, and poring over certain things, and pointedly ignoring others. We fell into a convers...

I walked up to the garage Tescos at the top of Stonegrove, first thing to buy some coffee speaking to Lorraine there and back. Then breakfast, and a shower and getting to grips with funeral directors. I had the brilliant idea of calling Carl because of course he knows all the stuff backwards, and we had a three way chat. Turns out the Undertakers that had been recommended by a neighbour, and has strong reviews online, was one Carl had once used.  Greatly reassuring to talk him through where we were to sense check everything. Carl making Mum laugh telling her to get the Carl Basket ready for a visit. The Carl Basket was a big wicker basket filled with pillows and a sleeping bag for use when Carl spent the night.   After a judicious shower, Mum and I caught a bus to Burnt Oak, and spoke to the undertakers. We have an appointment tomorrow at 11, but I got the impression that as we have an interim death certificate, we may be able to go ahead with the funeral.  Mum had a kind...

So up and a cheeky poached egg breakfast with Sue and John. Fond farewells, with Whiskey the dog springing about squeaking its toy, which John said made the sound of a bitten rat, we left Bromyard. Lorraine drove for half an hour to see Lorraine's lovely cousin Maxine, where we were warmly welcomed, and spent a couple of hours sipping coffee, nibbling on fruitcake while her dog, Zippy contentedly gnawed a large bone under the coffee table. Heard about Tay and Emilia -- now studying away from home and doing well. Simon was working in Liverpool today, but Maxine was on a day off from work, so I think she was pleased to have some visitors.   Fond squeezes goodbye with Maxine, then we drove mostly along the A5 road through some absolutely beautiful Autumn countryside on either side of the Welsh border. The Shropshire hills, which I had never seen. They were stunningly beautiful. The tiring bit, for Lorraine, was that as we were driving, partly through Wales, then towards Merseyside, I...

To Seaford station, looking at the sea, before zooming up to Victoria via Lewes. At Victoria a voice on the tannoy asking for someone with medical training to urgently go to the gate we were all crowding through.  Welcome to London. Tube to Embankment, and The Salisbury to meet Bob and Carl.  Excellent to see them both. Weird how quickly being together feels entirely normal. After some discussion we decided to go to the After Impressionism exhibition round the corner in the National. A decent exhibition, with some paintings that were new to me. I enjoyed seeing After the Sermon by Gaugin again, one of my favourite paintings. We enjoyably mooched around there, Carl in signature style not wasting time on work he didn't like much, Bob refraining from waving his fingertip three or four millimetres above the surface of the paintings so all well.  Then we tubed to Hammersmith and lurked along the river talking about old times and catching up some of the news while dropping in ...

Thursday... A bit bleary this morning having gone to bed after one last night. A slowish morning. At lunchtime we walked to Waves gym and bought a couple's membership for a year, we celebrated by having a cup of splosh in the gym cafe, and gave each other pep talks about the value of gym membership. Mooched home and as the weather had improved I cleared the big rocks and garden ornaments away from the area we are going to put our raised beds. Lorraine meanwhile hung solar lights and pricked out assorted seedlings. I then had a work meeting with Gabriel, in France and later had to discuss another work offer with Keith which I am not going to accept.  Carl got in touch -- confirming he is coming down to London on the first of August. And also Carl said that Ellie had referred to me as her 'stand in dad' -- which made him laugh. As he has often in the past been a stunt man Kenny -- such as the time Toby had a party which got utterly out of hand. I was at university at the time...

Up for toast and tea in Edgware with Mum. Got the trusty yellow notepad out and tried to work out next steps. Lorraine explained to me that the hospital should make a discharge plan for Mas, which may involve care. I had no idea what this might look like so I called Carl who explained that there would be a social worker involved and that the care was arranged through the local authority. This all very helpful. Then mum fished out a red folder on the table we were sitting at, which had all the contact details in the local authority and the care provider she had already been dealing with. This an amazing find as it gave me all the contact details. Mum also looked at her emails and I forwarded myself some correspondence from the care people from six months ago. Basically they had a bit of care, with people calling around to help Mas shower and so on in the morning, but they cancelled this in the first lockdown. The physiotherapist called mum, and clearly a discharge plan is being formulat...

Up early and moved my computer to living room as Luke the plumber was around so we can get a certificate for our boiler. He called me to say that our luck had run out again, as there was two holes in the boiler covering. More money down the drain. We will have to get it fixed of course.   A good chat with Carl today. Makes me laugh he does. He is coming south to see a neo-prog band called Big Big Train soon, and hopes to pop in and see Mum.  As this going on I also finished my work for the pleasant Germans, and presented it to them. Sent them the document expecting their comments this afternoon but none came.  Off to the gym instead. Hauling my dinosaur carcass through the springy mammalian students. Home to requests for more information from the account and other joys. Spoke to Mum in the afternoon, she had a successful conversation with her GP, her blood tests were okay, more tests in the local hospital soon. A quiet evening in. Lorraine and I obsessively binging Star T...

A day of cheery busyness: up early with Lorraine and waking Sam up x3 prior to his trip up to Scotland, tweaking the podcast and sending it to Robin for further tweakage. Then billing, timesheets, booking a dental appointment, a teams meeting with Keith and a nice woman called Amber we are working for next week, laundry, gym (baby steps still), talking to Val in Paris and then doing some work for her.  Also had  two poems published in Black Nore Review  and uploaded  the new podcast  episode. Matthew G. Rees new book arrived. I am a bit over-pleased that he quotes me on the back cover.  Carl called me. Lovely chat. Telling me about his poor little dog that was attacked by a savage dog and had to have one of its injured back legs removed. It gets about pretty well on three legs apparently, and is much improved, although Carl said it fell over when trying to cock a leg the other day. One of the things I like most about Carl is how he can laugh at bleakness....

Heard from Carl this morning that Jayne was in hospital with Covid. I spoke to him during the day, and it seems she had another infection. It wasn't anything to do with lungs, so that's good I guess. He has covid too, but fairly mildly having been vaccinated.  Leaving the cats in the capable hands of Sam and Jade, Lorraine and I made off to see Sue and John. Into the car first thing, and drove off. A free and easy drive, which we both enjoyed, stopping for tea and sandwiches at a service station. Saw dozens of red kites from the M6, I'd never seen so many of them. Lovely impressive raptors.  The feeling of escaping from Brighton was excellent, as I have been feeling a bit hemmed in and fed up lately. Arrived at Sue and John's while it was still light. A nice cuppa and some Christmas cake. Whiskey the dog, sporting her Irish tricolour collar, springing about enthusiastically as Sue told us Whiskey now has an Irish passport. Lorraine and Sue went off to get eggs from a fa...

Lots of conversations today, chatting to Mum who had got the card I had sent her using her own painting as the design for the front, to Carl who was chipper, and it was great to hear from him, and Anton. Meanwhile Lorraine spoke to her brothers Ken and Derek, and Laura and Claudia, and a quick chat with Sam, and Pat and Maureen.  A clear but cold day. Our bird-free bird bath had ice in it all day. In the afternoon we made off to Hove, and Lorraine had to scrape ice off the car's front window. We met Beth and James outside both in shades and bobble hats and looking like skiers. They stowed a microwave they had picked up for us in the boot. The last one was on its last legs, and Brian  having sprayed on it, so that despite thorough cleaning, when you started to use it it emitted a distinct and unpleasant smell. It simply had to go.  We went for another bargepole style walk, to the seafront as the sun began to slide towards the sea, and the last light of 2020 was beginning t...

Rain and greyness today, and getting a bit nippy. A stressed and tired Lorraine working from home this morning, Dawn came by to put some sealant underneath the doors in our bedroom. Carl phoned, telling me about Ellie starting her new business selling prints of her music star pencil drawings. Anton called, saying his meeting had been hideous, several people very far apart in a room all wearing facemasks, making it difficult to hear anyone. Lorraine back into work. I spent the much of the morning working on the branding for the new podcast, none of which was liked by Robin. Then worked on a new scene in Invisible Grace. A short walk, then painted the second coat on the bathroom walls, and did some more writing.  Lorraine back home and after being fed with salmon and stir fry went straight into a virtual governors meeting. Among other discussions,  it was been agreed that I will reprise my Santa role this year, but just calling out to them from a distance, and with my mask on --...