under another sun

Outdoorsy healthy day. We surged purposefully into the garden, for weeding vegetable beds and while Lorraine planted,  I pruned hard an ancient rosemary bush and a leggy lemon verbena bush. The copious clippings went into the garden bin. I rarely suck in lungfuls of aromatic bin air, but I did today.  From here a walk down towards Tide Mills and looped back to the beach and home. Baby Enzo here for a sleepover tonight. Cheery little lovely boy he is. His sleep patterns were a bit messed up so he was over tired, and Lorraine couldn't get him to sleep. At about 9pm, Beth and James came to collect him. He went straight to sleep in the short car ride home. Below I like the small 'wild' part of the garden that Lorraine have sown with native plants. Meanwhile the shallow end of the little wildlife pond we put in here has dried out with only one downpour since March. The weather has predominantly been coming from the north east, so there are cool nights and dry sunny days with no ...

Up early and prepping to interview Will Harris. We had problems with his sound, problems with wifi and so on, and I had to ask him to re read his poems at the end just to ensure we had clean versions. I found him genuinely interesting and I really liked him. The session lasted an hour and 40 minutes, but Will was very gracious about this. After this, Lorraine and I loaded up the car and took a load more recycling off to the recycling centre. While I was doing this I went through a lung cancer triage by phone-- this prompted by my local surgery as a free service. Thankfully, they said I am low risk and nothing needs to be done. One of the questions was about what sort of cigarettes have I smoked. Apparently one roll up cigarettes are twice as bad as normal ones.  At the recycling centre we drove right past the bays and out into the main road the other side. We had to go around again, which made us laugh. Then we went to this big Age UK warehouse, which is crammed full of furniture f...

Lorraine off to her personal trainer, and then met up with the walking heads, a group of ex-heads who meet up and walk. For me a productive day. Up and after breakfast finished the two books, Rendang and Brother Poem , by Will Harris, and began to form questions for him in my mind. For me it's all about setting small targets and achieving them.  Then off on a walk around Tide Mills, pushing back against the anxiety of open spaces, and did a circular walk today I'd not managed before. The thing I've learned recently from revisiting CBT is that avoiding what unnerves you is the worst thing you can do. As long as I feel in control and stepping up in gradual increments I will get there. Home and a bit of writing, and chatted to Mum. Lorraine back having done loads of exercise. We had an early dinner, I fixed a hinge in the glasshouse, then we went around the corner to see a local art exhibition in the Crypt, where saw arty friends such as Adele and Mandy and Eileen, and bought...

Very nice not to be on a train this morning. Felt full of beans and cheerfulness all day, it was a beautiful sunny spring day and I'm beginning to wonder if the months of rain and overcast skies had undermined my mood more than I thought.   I woke up at six and got up at seven, sat at my desk writing for an hour or so, then returned to bed with cups of tea. Lorraine off to Storytime, and then see Pat and Maureen. I went back to my desk and at last finished the first draft of Kansas . It was only this morning that the end, which had eluded me til now, fell into place. The draft is in a fairly finished state. It's just under seven thousand words but will soon be tightened.   This done, I went for a walk around Tide Mills, trying another new path. Home again at a little after two, and Lorraine and Beth were at home. Enzo having been left at the nursery for half an hour without problems, and Beth feeling steady about it. Lovely to see her, and the baby a bit later.   Arranged...

I decided I'm in a fallow period, like a field left alone to rejuvenate, naturally recover and settle. Despite low energy and mental sluggishness, some inching progress: I learned a little more about Substack, investigated where I might send Gordon Road  now that Live Cannon, due to announce the winners six weeks ago, have maintained radio silence and not replied to my email. I'm hoping there's not some horrible calamity behind the scenes, as this is not how they operate. There are more important things in this world than poetry pamphlets.  Spoke to Mum, who was just about to dye her hair and was in decent spirits.  Enzo and Beth around today. Enzo slightly coldy, but still radiating sunshine. Beth doing a bit of preliminary work before restarting her job next month. Enzo hiccuping today, which I have never heard.  Ate lunch and could have slept, instead I mooching about the lost village of Tide Mills. With my CBT head on, I decided to examine what happens to me when...

I am now going through every section of a full collection of all my poems around the theme of how uncertainty about memory affects identity. There are five sections, with I hope five poems in each section - one of the sections is Gordon Road, so it will make enough for a poetry book. I'm now going through it section by section - there are a few gaps in what I want to say that I am now writing new material to fill. Obviously I have no publisher, so it is all speculative at this point. But I am pleased with the results so far. Lorraine off to her personal trainer this morning. I spoke to Mum who was off with her pals Gail and Emma to celebrate a birthday in the Waggon at lunchtime. I'm going up next Monday. Dawn called around this afternoon, and she and Lorraine went off to see Beth and baby Enzo.  I went on a longish walk. Very windy at times, and much cooler than it has been, I went nosing around Tide Mills and grazing on the occasional blackberry when I found one. Home and joi...

Up early this morning, made tea for everyone, then zipped into my study and blurted out some prose, for a change. Breakfast, then we got into the car to meet a youthful estate agent called Adam, who showed us a flat in a block used by older people. Lovely place, with a wonderful sea view. Maureen loved it, and Pat liked it too. We went to see a second place, but this fell at the last fence having difficult stairs to the flat, when we had stipulated no stairs. Home and I called Mum and did a bit of writing, Lorraine went off to Hove (actually) to see Rosie.  After warming up lasagne for Pat and Maureen and I and leaving the TV on for them to have their afternoon doze by, I went out for a walk, carefully applying a bit of suncream first. A poetry rejection just to buck me up as I left, but a two hour walk listening to Will's book helped. Took my camera, but something is wrong with the memory card and it wouldn't work as I lined up a deathless snap at Tide Mills. Then in a Pooteri...

Catching up somewhat. Had a long chat with Keith this morning. Life as a freelancer is fairly slow. Much of it traceable to Brexit of course -- it is easier for the US pharma countries to do business with a country inside the EU -- which is why my continental clients were the only ones keeping me in business. Unless something genuinely interesting emerges, I feel I am now going to devote myself to doing PK stuff, a bit poorer but much happier. Listened to Robin's podcast edit, heard from Palo, we have been charging £5 for Snow, and will use the money for charity, MIND being the one we fancy. She thinks she has raised over £200 already. Astonishing. Linda Goulden, one of the writers on the Understory Conversation sent me a note asking for a copy too. Otherwise doing podcast stuff with Robin. Spoke to Mum, who was off to the pub later, and Anton who was at an event in London. Lorraine had driven off to Ashford and returned with Pat and Maureen early this afternoon. Maureen cheerful ...

Another day without a cloud in the sky. Recording with Robin this morning, and then doing my writing, and also thinking about revamping my other site and it is tired and not simple enough.  Lorraine drove off to the gym, but events conspired against her, and she got stuck in assorted traffic jams and had to call it off, and returned back via the garden centre.  In the afternoon, I went to Newhaven by train to a place called Bodyhaven, where Lorraine had made an appointment for me to have a massage. The charming owner of the business, Chi, saw a spider on the floor, and pointed to it in horror. Spider, she said handing me a glass and a piece of card. I wrangled it, put it  outside, but it was a bit of an icebreaker. Excellent massage, even though my back was rigid to begin with.  Lorraine met me outside Newhaven station, and we walked home through the remains of Tide Mills and along the seafront, pausing in the heat to eat ice cream and a lemonade in the sailing club....

All plans went awry. Maureen phoned to say that Pat wasn't able to move this morning. Lorraine set off almost immediately -- we suspected he had had a stroke. The paramedics had arrived shortly after Lorraine arrived in Ashford. Pat had a strange rash. By the end of the evening they said that he had pneumonia, and they were continuing investigations, but put in a cannula for antibiotics and paracetamol. Obviously everyone rather shaken. I spoke to Lorraine and Maureen during the day -- but Pat apparently cracking jokes and in good spirits.  Before she left, Lorraine had been baking loaves and so on, and after she left talking to her on the phone we realised they had been on the wrong setting, so I had to put them back in and monitor. Miraculously the bread was fine at the end. I biffed any idea of doing some writing this morning, and also decided to cancel seeing Keith after the dentist in case I had to zoom off to Ashford.  After the excitements of the morning I had miscalcul...