under another sun

Sea fret today, a murky morning of mist. Lorraine busy today, so a day of quietly getting a grip. Spoke to Mum this morning for half an hour or so and arranged to see her later this week. Put out washing on the line to dry in sunshine, then sea fret followed by a rapid deluge.  I have begun with Silvercloud, a CBT based program for managing anxiety. Several modules to work through, I've learned nothing much yet from it, but it is making me revisit the CBT ideas of how thoughts, behaviours, emotions and physical sensations are all linked, and changing one can improve others and so on. Not new to me, but re-engaging with it is helpful in itself. A time out to focus on your own wellbeing feels good too.   A gorgeous walk this afternoon along the seafront, listening to The Rest is History podcast, the fifth and sixth episodes on the fall of the Incas. A fascinating and bloody business. Lorraine and I to bed early tonight, reading. I've almost finished Farewell, My Lovely  by ...

Mum had another poor night, which worries me. I slept fairly well, and thankfully my sore throat remained just a sore throat. Mum seems a smidge brighter, but is needing two sleeps during the day to compensate for lousy nights. After a light lunch, we listened  to a The Rest is History Podcast  about the Incas for an hour, and she went to bed again.  Walking through Stonegrove Park this afternoon, I realised the importance of  remaining buoyant, and even I don't need Lorraine to tell me that a cheery nurse makes a person feel much better than a gloomy one. I'm doing my best.  No egret in the park. I walked past the spot singing 'egrets I've seen a few, but then again too few to mention...' to myself. Then up Canon's Drive to look at the pond and some of the huge houses around there. One of the streets near the pond is called Lake View, which is a bit ambitious. At the end of Canon's Drive is North London Collegiate where Mum went for a short while having le...

Off to drawing class this morning, trying to be early. Lorraine phoned me shortly before I arrived to say I'd left my paper at home. So had to double back, Lorraine handed it to me in the street. Late again, which made me feel irritable. The model was Tommy, who we have had before. A slim young guy, who I find a bit difficult to draw. Melissa stopping me after a few pencil strokes, and saying that the foot would be off the page. Tommy and I spoke afterwards and he wanted to connect with me as he is writing a play which needs a bit of background about advertising in it. Nice chat with Melissa afterwards too. Adele, Patrick and I had bumped into her in the Boot last Friday too, and she apologised for not introducing her husband. She locked up an we left. Sauntered home, realising that I'd left my umbrella in the women's Institute Hall. Then home to find Lorraine hard at work tidying. In the afternoon she made off to take Maureen, with Patrick in tow, to see the doctor.  I att...

A great night's sleep. Tidied the kitchen, made breakfast, then prepared for a recording with Robin, discussing poetry about vampires, John Keats, Hope Mirrlees, and Father's Day. All went well and we had some fun. The publisher's publicist wrote to me about the Vampire book, wondering if we could delay covering it till a bit later in the year, but it was already done by then.  I am going to be a last minute replacement reader, in a poetry reading in Arundel with Robin next Monday, which is Beth's due date. Then I sloped off to Pomegranate to meet Lorraine and Pat and Maureen for an early lunch. Maureen ended up giving me half hers, luckily she had the same,  sourdough bread with smashed avocado with smoked salmon sprinkled with seeds and chilli flakes. Actually a prefect little lunch. Maureen always takes her hearing aid out in the cafe, so we communicate with her by pulling faces and bellowing. Then back home to work on Gordon Road -- a really good session and made a ...

Up early to work on Gordon Road, then have breakfast with Lorraine. She zoomed off to do her pottery, and I sloped round the corner to life drawing. For some reason I did everything badly in the first half, producing my worst work yet. A lovely chat with Melissa who runs the sessions at half time, and decided it was okay to not excel, and ended up doing much better in the second half. Adele there with her own stool, a drum stool bought in the US with a Captain America style star on it. Stylish. Home and back onto Gordon Road for an hour or so. Made some decisions. Lorraine back from pottery but only long enough to grab a tupperwear of apples, nuts and cheese she'd asked for before taking Pat and Maureen back to Eastbourne for a medical appointment and some shopping. A bite to eat, then I went to the gym. My knee held up well, though a little swollen afterwards. On the way there I passed the pond, where there was a lively argument going on between a seagull and a heron. Usual seagul...