under another sun

Neither of us felt fresh as daisies after a sweltering night and yesterday's boozes. Assembling poems like a maniac this morning. Marvellous fun. The project so far called So What, You're Weird Too .  To the gym this lunchtime to make up for the sausages and beer snarfed on the beach. Very enjoyable, and I was able to get on the lat pull machine this time. Home and a bit more writing, before meeting Lorraine in Morrisons. I think I am weird because I love shopping with Lorraine. Home and I made a rather excellent veggie chilli. I put nutmeg, cumin and lots of black pepper in mine, as well as fresh chillies and chilli powder.  No Babylon 5. We urgently need a new supply of people dressed as aliens, plus spaceships. An early night. Started re-reading R.S. Thomas in bed. I love his stuff.  A sweaty out of focus selfie on the cross trainer in the gym. That's two selfies in two days. A record.

Now that the One Day Forever material has been swept away for future publication, a pamphlet's worth of funnier material is miraculously assembling. In Brian Eno's A Year With Swollen Appendices , he reports advice given to him by his friend Stewart Brand: 'Why don’t you assume you’ve written your book already, and all you have to do now is find it?’ I love this thought.  After a morning of enthusiastic work, we made off for the beach this afternoon, going via Morrisons. We ended up near Splash Point end, where we met Rosie and Innis, Adrian and Laura. A jolly afternoon barbecue, with several drinks and splash in the channel. I barely screamed at all getting into it, as it was the warmest channel dip I'd ever taken. Still quite refreshing. Utterly relaxed this afternoon. Now I know Adrian and Laura better, I'm really liking them. Home and Lorraine and I watched the last two episodes of Babylon 5. Lorraine and I bereft now. It was a brilliant show. Five (including P...

I wrote freely and with some gusto this morning. At lunchtime Lorraine gave me a lift to the gym, before she collected Betty and they made off to Eastbourne to see a musical theatre show Project Mincemeat, which they both loved. I went to the gym, passing Blatchington Pond which is now drying out. It's like the sub Sahara here.  I enjoyed the gym, apart from  the giant shouldered man who arriving at the lat pull machine two seconds before me, squatted on it like a toad till I had to go. Bah. Home and relaxed. Chatted to Mum. Apparently it is going to be incredibly hot again next week. So we will have to take a view on what happens to our plan to meet at the White Bear on Wednesday.   Into the garden to pick plums from the tiny tree and this time they turned out to be worm free. The jam, three jars of it, set nicely and tasted fine. I always feel a real sense of achievement about making jam, I don't know why. Then I put together a quick stir fry and L and I happily scarfed...

To London this morning, arrived at Mum's about 12:30. A noticeably more relaxed mood on the train on a Friday morning. When I arrived at Mum's her table spread out with lots of papers relating to the tax form. With the help of Chat GPT, I completed it after a harrowing couple of hours. Our trip to the Waggon and 'Orses was thwarted though by the intermittent fault on her seatbelt. It had locked and wouldn't extend, Ben had looked at it for her, but the problem has returned.   Instead we sauntered up the sunny back streets to the McDonald's, which is a drive through as well as restaurant. Having swerved McDonald's for decades it was a bit of a novelty for me. Mum had a cheeseburger, and I ordered a McCrispy chicken burger with fries. Mum said you can order from a person, so I ignored all the screens and spoke to a young human who cheerily brought the meal to our table. It was clean, and once the foghorn voices of the women and children behind Mum had left, almost...

Enzo this morning, then with Enzo, Lorraine and I went around to Pat and Maureen's where Handy Kate was going to do some work in their flat. Lorraine drove Pat and Maureen home, and I pushed the wee boy home. On the way back I saw that Melissa was doing her art installation from her window, so we stopped to see her. Enzo being shy. Melissa sitting by a sign she'd made saying The Department of Boundaries is now closed.  As were chatting a woman, with some kind of special needs came by and started going through her tray of things. I couldn't stay long as I we had to get back. A day of looking after folks, playing with Enzo, making Pat and Maureen teas and so on. I did have a little time to think here and there.  We took Pat and Maureen back, and spent an hour or so settling Pat down, as he'd had a toilet accident. The love and care Maureen and Lorraine give him is heartwarming.  Was able to call Mum too, to confirm I'm coming up tomorrow. Home and I cooked a curry fo...

Up at my desk, and sent the file of One Day Forever to Wolfgang first thing. Breakfast with Sue and John, then off to Bateman's, where Rudyard Kipling had lived. John wanted to drive, in his electric car, so that was nice. Lots of road diversions and we found ourselves going down all kinds of tight country lanes. Bateman's itself was lovely. Gorgeous but sun parched gardens, little rivers and an old mill. The house itself first built in 1634, he wrote Kim there, and he clearly had already made huge sums from his writing, enough to buy this country pile and finance a Rolls Royce habit. I have read The Light That Died, and versions of the Jungle Book and Kim. But there's clearly more to explore, including poetry. An easier drive back. Once home, John preoccupied by charging his car at Morrisons. I barbecued a chicken and some sausages. I had put the funnel with the burning charcoal onto one of the concrete tiles of the patio and the concrete loudly exploded a circle shattered...

Up early, after a horrible night's sleep. Lorraine to her personal trainer, and then popped around to see Pat and Maureen. I worked a bit on the acknowledgements section of the book, then made off to the gym, and was back in time to have a cheeky shower before Sue and John arrived with Whiskey dog, who was on exemplary behaviour. We had a happy evening chatting in the garden, drinking some cold drinks. And then it rained. Like fifty or sixty invisible gnats spitting on us for a minute, and then it was all over.  It was much cooler this evening, thankfully.  Lorraine cooked a nice flan for our dinner. Whiskey behaving in an exemplary manner. Lovely to catch up, hearing about weddings and travels and so on. Everyone tired at the end of the day. 

A text from Mum just as I was getting up, saying it was dangerously hot today, and maybe I shouldn't travel. I agreed, as six hours travelling in the stifling heat left something to be desired. She had the gas engineers looking at her boiler this morning.  Anyway, after yesterday's paranoia, I decided to send Wolfgang a letter. Shortly after, bedraggled with heat, having returned home, I received an email from him. What a palaver, and I wished I hadn't sent the letter too. Bang goes any impression of insouciance. I've got to have a word with myself. I spent happy time in the day putting finishing touches to the MS.  Otherwise it was uncomfortably hot and humid. Lorraine spent much of the day with Pat and Maureen, and Delores. Sylwia came today too, to make things presentable for Sue and John.  Still no rain in the forecast. Sweltering humid night, but the drought goes on. It barely looks like England.   

Today I discovered Wolfgang did not receive my reply to his book offer. His inbox had been over quota, so my email was not delivered. I discovered the notification in my spam folder. It's perfect anxiety dream stuff: you are blocked from accepting what you've worked for years to achieve. I had thought it a bit odd I'd not received a reply. And now I know why. So I resent the email, and am going also to post him a letter. Only this email has gone astray, all year. I expect it will all be okay, but bloody hell, not to mention all the other kinds of hell. In other news, it was enervatingly hot with no end in sight.  Lorraine was kept awake with a really painful hip. A spasming muscle, probably caused by hefting people around. She was in pain all day despite stretches on the floor and so on. Despite this, we had a purposeful morning, tidying, preparing the guest room for Sue and John who are arriving on Tuesday. Under Lorraine's supervision I drilled two holes in the bathro...

Seized the opportunity for a quiet day. Next week is busy for us. Lorraine repaired to the studio and worked on her pottery, but returned frustrated after several hours as nothing had worked properly and she had to recycle everything. The life of an artist. I tidied my study! I filed, put books back on shelves, rationalised files on my trusty old computer and dusted my desk. There is nothing more appealing than a clean and tidy desk. While listening to Jazz saxophonist Pharaoh Sanders. I discovered a late album made in 2021, a year before he died, called  Promises.  It features Pharaoh with   a UK  electronic musician called Floating Points and the London Symphony Orchestra. A lush mix of minimal ambient and jazz. Also heard his album  Pharaoh . I first heard Pharaoh Sanders, who was an acolyte of John Coltrane, on Alice Coltrane's albums. Also read London Magazine ... A Catalan issue, which I'd file under the not for me category: some decent poetry and a woefu...

Up early and into my study with a new sense of purpose. Began looking at a story that was rejected last week, but with a highly encouraging note from the editor. Also the idea that if One Day Forever is being published, that tidies away quite a few poems, leaving room for the new project.  Being me, my mind is busy creating a thousand reasons why it will all go wrong, but I just have to ignore them. I have been contacting people slowly, as I feel superstitious about it. But today I let Carl and Bob know.   Penny came round this morning, to spend some time with Lorraine. I spoke to her for a while. Her mother died recently, and she is naturally still sad. She was very kind and congratulated me on the book. They made off into Seaford, for a bite to eat, and I had a much-needed gym session. I seem to have put on weight since Monday.  Spoke to Mum, who was fine, although there is a small problem with the car that Ben is helping her with.  In the evening, when Lorraine w...

A hot night with poor sleep for both of us. The gulls on the roof hammering, scuffling and screaming raucously at the dawn. And at six thirty I was wide awake. Lorraine's sleep was poor too, and she couldn't get to sleep last night.  Robin and I uploaded the Will Harris episode of the podcast . A good one I think. Robin's judicious final snips making it all the better. I hope Will likes it. Otherwise we had Enzo from breakfast time. He is growing his collection of consonants, adding a soft g sound. He is absolutely besotted with Lorraine, of course, but it seemed to be a grandpa day, with the  little lad repeatedly reaching up to me to be held and carried about, bounced on the knee and so on.  Lorraine and I were playing with him in the living room, and I had to pop into the kitchen to take something out of the freezer, and he actually burst into tears when I left. He is usually happy and smiling, but looking into his little tragic face if you don't pick him up immed...

Told Charlotte and SJB and Stephen about my news first thing, to make it even realer. They were happy for me, which was very sweet. Sarah: When's the piss up?!! This morning I was talking to Lorraine about how decades of being published meant I knew my poems were good, but how on some irrational level I thought there was something about me, my character or who I am, that meant I would never succeed. The thought of perhaps being able to shrug off this shoulder monkey is exhilarating. Otherwise recording and editing most of the day. Recorded a few more bits with Robin, and sent what I have to her for another no-nonsense edit.  At tea time off with Lorraine to call in at Debbie's house, which I'd never been too. Lovely place, overlooking the sea. Lorraine was sorting a computer problem for Debbie on a Mac. Nobody interested in the fact I use a Mac every day, of course. Debbie showed us the room she does glass work in, overlooking the sea, and said as it was a full moon she was...

Up and feeling excited, made off to my desk by 7.00am and wrote a grown up reply to Wolfgang, accepting his kind offer. It all felt a little realer after I replied.   Lorraine and I had breakfast and she made off to her personal trainer. I got down to some editing of the podcast, and at lunchtime made off to the gym. Walking past Blatchington Pond, I bumped into Guy. He is on the committee of volunteers who look after the pond.  He had been woken up this morning by someone sending him a photo in the early hours. It was of one of the pond's carp with the O of its mouth breaking surface, apparently gasping for air. He and another man then worked to aerate the water with a pump for a few hours, and was just finishing when I walked past. Something about him being sent a carp mouth photo tickled my sense of the ridiculous, but this is important work. Another symptom of the effects of climate breakdown.  Lorraine and I heard the sad news from Adele today that her mother had die...

So off to Hampstead to see Mum and Toby. Bimbling as usual on the train and reading a couple of stories by the Canadian painter Emily Carr. Imagine my surprise when I looked at my phone when the train emerged from the the tunnel at  St Pancras, to see an email from Wolfgang accepting my full poetry MS One Day Forever for publication. I called Lorraine walking up from West Hampstead, she was really happy for me. It did not feel real at all, and still doesn't. I felt cautiously pleased, but was strangely unable to be entirely gleeful after achieving such a long-held ambition. For me the news is so momentous, it's taking me a while to get my head around it. Sauntered up the hill in good spirits to find Mum and Toby at Hampstead tube station, and we crept round to The White Bear, where I shared my good news. Lovely that I could do that with them. Otherwise, Mum pleased that we were both there to chat to, and she had her usual pea and lovage soup in what is now her favourite pub. ...

A short hiatus during a late Sunday breakfast. Lorraine drove us, and I popped into Pat and Maureen's place. Opened their door to a gale, as one of the windows was wide open and they couldn't close it, a cheery chat before I pushed off as Lorraine was waiting in the car, and there was more coffee to drink.   To the gym at lunch time. Its emptiness was, like, totally awesome. Not having to scowl at teenagers was a plus. Spoke to Mum and confirmed seeing her and the Tobster, now back from Aberystwyth, tomorrow in Hampstead.  Not much happened, except this cucumber Lorraine harvested from our greenhouse. The first of the year. I like how it still has the remnant of its flower. It tasted highly-cucumbery too.

A day of lurking in the garden.Yet another scorcher. Beth and Enzo popped in this morning after going to the market. Lorraine made bubbles which Enzo enjoyed. Then a spot of gardening. We picked the beans from the bean rows. Big beauties, that tasted sweet and lovely when we ate some later. Later Rosie and Pippi came to sit out with us and eat a salady lunch, and have a long, relaxed chat. Rosie on great form, and in a not too hotly contested category, Pippi is top pooch.  In the evening Brian kindly drove around to collect us and take us back home for a cheery evening  evening with him and Yvonne. Sat in their summer house,  ate a lovely three course meal Brian had made, with a main course of Marry Me chicken, which was delicious. Brian telling me again about his work with the YMCA in Eastbourne. I might go along with him on one of his visits. He has his knee operation in a month, which is great because he has been in pain with it ever since I've known him. Yvonne her us...

Sylwia this morning, increasingly part of the family these days. Lorraine and her talking about Maureen and Pat, who she cleans for, and often sits with. Meanwhile I toyed with some editing, and spoke to Mum then, when  Lorraine left to see Pat and Maureen, I went tot he gym, and from there on to the mosquito nurse for a routine blood test. Top tip: veins easy to locate after the gym. A 12 bus to Brighton just after 4. But a terrible thing has happened to the 12 bus. The 12A, has been discontinued, and now the 12 does all the crappy little stops the 12A made. It took us ages to get to Brighton.  Rendezvous with the Hoibaks and Hartleys in the Walrus for a cheeky drink. Not been to the Walrus for years, and have been three times in the last month. Then the six of us crossed the road to Petit Pois for an excellent dinner. Strange to say this but the broccoli I had with my main course was perfection. I have never tasted nicer broccoli in my life. A revelation. Everyone getting on...

An Enzo day today. Lorraine collected the little lad, and he had a hobbit's second breakfast with us. I then made off upstairs and did some recording with Robin for an hour, I talked about Tess Jolly and also Martha Sprackland's new translation of John of the Cross.  Lorraine on the phone lots, as Maureen has been talking about having a few day's respite from caring for Pat, and Lorraine is trying to manage that.  In the afternoon off to a beautiful and not too busy Sheffield Park with Enzo and Maureen, while Delores looked after Pat. The baby and Maureen were let in free. I pushed Maureen around in a wheelchair, a bone shaker, she said, as the paths were quite rough and gravelly in places. A gorgeous day by normal standards, if you overlook the drought, and the wilting leaves. I loved the great waterlily islands in the  ponds, and the dragonflies and Enzo admiring the geese and ducks. Maureen seemed to really relax too. I bought some sherbet lemons in the shop afterwards...