under another sun

A grey and rainy morning. Cups of tea in bed, looking at Seaford Head. Up and cooking breakfast when I got a spangly migraine. Lorraine went to feed Mickey the cat, at Squirrel's End, see Pat and Maureen, and go to Morrisons. I slept. Then when Lorraine was back finished reading the last few chapters of  The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler. Loved it. Then on impulse Lorraine and I found the film version this afternoon. The story a bit simplified and mangled, but Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall made up for it. Neither of us remembered seeing The Big Sleep before.  Spoke to Mum this evening, she'd met up with Romy successfully and the Romster got her a cab back home. I'm going up tomorrow to see her. To bed fairly early. 

Last morning in Doolin, and up and excellently breakfasted and hurriedly packed. Took a call from a man at The Royal Free about an appointment for Mum, I set it all up, and when I spoke to her later, she said it wasn't needed. Off to Clare's pretty county town of Ennis, where Lorraine and Sue went shopping for wedding headgear -- scoring a white fancy hat for Sue and a tiara for Lorraine.  John meanwhile took me to  glór , a lovely arts centre with a library, theatre and gallery. We had a hot drink in the lobby were traditional musicians had gathered to join in music making, along with an audience of adults with learning disabilities. The traditional music was wonderful, and everyone enjoying it. There is something about music in Ireland that is so democratic, the audience and the musicians all together, and the apparently unspoken agreement musicians have to turn up and play and in what order.  Then John and Sue dropped us off at Shannon airport. They'd been incredibly k...

Through the beautiful countryside to Spanish Point today, the place where some boats from the Armada were lost, and the sailors rounded up and put to death, on the orders of the English. John, driving us about the country uncomplainingly as usual, suggested this undermined the idea of black haired Irish people being descended from the Spanish. Apparently the King of Spain visited the area not too long ago, after a mass grave was found. Then on to Kilkee, where we took another stroll. I didn't fancy the walk up into a treeless, flat land, but happily pottered about on the beach instead. We passed on the way home a golf course owned by Trump, and drove around it by mistake. Home, and a quiet evening. Sue cooked a gorgeous rice and chorizo and chicken dish. There was talk of us going down to the pub, but actually everyone was a bit tired, so we sensibly went to bed instead.  Below  top three snaps of Spanish Point, with the typical west coast flat rocks projecting dangerously int...

John driving us south today, he is a mine of fascinating information and an excellent guide. Loving the landscapes. In the lower lands the few bushes and trees there are shaped by the wind in fields demarked by the low stone walls, and widely spaced cottages. We stopped by an ancient one roomed building. Got out at a beach to have the cobwebs ripped off in shreds from our body by the keen wind. Whiskey rudely sniffed at by two dogs whose owner sat in a white van. Looked at the information about the history of Irish submariners.  Into Ennistymon the town nearest to Sue and John. Gorgeous place with the pubs painted marvellous colours.  We went into two lovely bookshops, Salmon bookshop I think has a poetry press associated with it. I spent some time looking at books there. I had in my mind an anthology of poetry about the West of Ireland, but everything I looked at was very international in its focus. Across the road to another bookshop, where in the poetry section I found a fe...

An excellent night's sleep.  Up in Doolin, and coffee chatting with Sue. Then a quick call, who reported feeling much better this morning. In fact when I talked to her later in the day, she'd popped out to the Waggon this afternoon and saw some of friends there. A leisurely breakfast, and agog at the birdtables -- I've never seen so many goldfinches in my life.   John took us on a long drive up the coast. All kinds of weather as we drove, and the sea in many moods. Much of the drive, on the inland side of the road the limestone pavement of the Burren, which gives the hills almost a mauve look in certain lights. Bare looking rock, gives the place an alien and bleak look, especially when the pavement goes to the sea. We stopped off at Fanore which slightly reminded me of Denmark, with its dunes and marram grass and the wild bluster of the ocean. Gorgeous place. Then along the coast to Galway bay, where stopped at the Flaggy Shore, which features in  Postscript  a Seamu...

A night's sleep, L and I up at seven. Over breakfast we learned about train problems at Gatwick. Final packing. Mum bright and breezy when I called her before we left.   Gatwick by car, arriving in plenty of time. Ryanair to Shannon. A man talking, luckily not to us, non stop in the waiting room, Zero frills, and minimal twitching from me, despite Lorraine and I being on either side of an aisle  and being able to maintain hyper vigilance through a window. Ears hurt on landing. Shannon airport pleasant and no nonsense. We were collected by Sue and John! Great to see them, and to sit next to John driving through the gorgeous west of Ireland. John pointing out tampering with place names on road signs, as there are disputes about how certain place names should be spelled. Finally the Aran islands appeared -- a bit moment as the last time we stayed they were hidden for days, and I said that I did not believe they existed. A lovely sight of three islands layered behind one another i...

Up and breakfasting with Mum.  Then off to the surgery, the results for the urine test were in but nobody had looked at them yet. All a bit redundant now she's been treated for it thanks to the rapid response nurse. I called them again this afternoon, and they now have number and they will text me if Mum is prescribed something.  Home again, and cooked us some food.  Then when mum had a lie down, I went to buy some food for her in Stanmore. The bird theme continues: standing on the corner of the side street I happened upon a woman talking to a talkative man with three talkative parrots, two green and one grey. The woman, a passer-by who had somehow become entangled with the group, insisted I say hello to the birds. The owner, a friendly older South Asian gent, said this was a board meeting, as the parrots chuckled to one another. Then he said they were being shy, when I started saying hello. Eventually one said hello back to me, and protocol complete I was able to melt aw...

Slept heavily last night, and feeling a bit brighter and less sore throaty. More importantly, mum's now on the last full day of her antibiotics for her chest, and is coughing a lot less. She also has completed her bladder antibiotics, and is very different to a week ago. She is sleeping lots, when she's awake she's in good form so I'm feeling a less anxious about her now.  Wynford came by after church this morning, and telling Mum how well she looked. Mum put it down to her makeup. In other nice news, Mark Hartley now a grandfather to a wee lad born in Glasgow. He and Carol flying up today. The baby wearing dinosaur themed clothes.  Lorraine and I have flights booked to go to stay with Sue and John in Ireland on Tuesday, and I've been thinking till the last day or so that I would just have to let Lorraine go on her own. After talking it over with Mum that all being well tomorrow with Mum and nothing bad from the Doctor, that I will go with Lorraine. I have mixed fee...

Mum reported a better night, which I was pleased about. She slept during the day again, but is seeming much more herself. Maheena popped in. I like her very much, and she is very kind to Mum.  Another kind text from Wynford. The Tobster called from a snowy Deviation Road. Lovely texts from Rosie this morning too. I went for a walk to Stanmore, meaning stony mere or pool. Looked at the outside of the church, and the ruin of the older church next to it.  Had a cup of coffee in Stanmore's Caffè Nero. Tried to have some thoughts. Failed. Spoke to Lorraine severally because I am missing her. Watched Midsomer Murders with mum, and weirdly quite enjoyed it. Chelsea played today and disgraced themselves by drawing to Burnley. Otherwise cooked, dispensed drugs, chatted to Mum. All as well as can be expected. Some of the glories of Stanmore.  

Mum had another poor night, which worries me. I slept fairly well, and thankfully my sore throat remained just a sore throat. Mum seems a smidge brighter, but is needing two sleeps during the day to compensate for lousy nights. After a light lunch, we listened  to a The Rest is History Podcast  about the Incas for an hour, and she went to bed again.  Walking through Stonegrove Park this afternoon, I realised the importance of  remaining buoyant, and even I don't need Lorraine to tell me that a cheery nurse makes a person feel much better than a gloomy one. I'm doing my best.  No egret in the park. I walked past the spot singing 'egrets I've seen a few, but then again too few to mention...' to myself. Then up Canon's Drive to look at the pond and some of the huge houses around there. One of the streets near the pond is called Lake View, which is a bit ambitious. At the end of Canon's Drive is North London Collegiate where Mum went for a short while having le...

Middle of the night idea: radical decency. A radical refusal to be baited or pushed into polarised opinions by wannabe despots or bot farms or amoral tech bros.    Up before Mum. A chat with my lovely wife, who I am missing lots. A chat with Ben who found a parcel in Mum's green bin. Wynford popped in too.   For poor Mum another exhausting night of coughing and getting up for the toilet. She needed another sleep after breakfast, while I filed the pile of papers on the dining room table. However this afternoon Mum slept less and seemed brighter, and a bit more like her usual self making me feel very cautiously optimistic. Otherwise I've managed basics like making her drink and eat more.   Later I walked through Stonegrove Park and the puddle, which has receded yesterday was back. Weirdly there was an egret in it. I have never seen an egret in London before, perhaps the chief suspect in the missing goldfish mystery is shadowing me.  Sore throaty and sorry for myse...

Breakfast with Lorraine. Sylwia arrived, telling us she's going to visit her Mum in Poland in the next day or so. Lorraine set off to do Rhyme Time before going around to Pat and Maureen's place, to explain to Maureen that the lunch plans had been cancelled as Uncle Steve could come because of yellow warning of torrential rain. Luckily this blow softened by Beth and Enzo visiting.  I chugged up to Mill Hill, carrying a large bag to cover all eventualities. Bus to Edgware then I went straight to the Lane End Surgery. Turns out the sample I took there on Monday wasn't marked as urgent so the results will take up to a week. The receptionist was very kind when I explained the urgency.  Mum's throat sounding better, her eyes less sore, but she was coughing lots last night apparently. Lots of sleeping today. I filled in another online triage form, and then warmed up some soup and made cups of teas. Soon after Mum wanted another doze. I went out to do some food shopping. Stran...

Unusually bad night's sleep. Enjoyed breakfast with Lorraine, and general pottering about and a spell at my desk, plus the good clean fun of laundry. Lorraine was doing personal training and so on. I spoke to Mum during the day. Wynford called me this afternoon, and in the evening I spoke for 45 mins with Ben. Lovely how Mum's neighbours are so full of care for her. Ben thinks Mum should be doing Tai Chi. A longish walk by the sea on a bright and sunny day. The sun puts a different complexion on things but I felt heavy hearted. I called Carl and it was great to talk to him, a touch of the Watson common sense was exactly what was needed. Home, and Lorraine was back with Beth and Enzo. And our wildlife pond had frogspawn in it, that Lorraine brought over from Beth's garden. Beth is well, and had a long business call this afternoon with her work folks. Meanwhile Enzo literally a bouncing baby, and bouncing up and down with excitement quite a lot of the time. I bounced him on m...

Up early to try to manage things. I emailed the doctor's surgery for an appointment. Then off into Edgware to buy mum some new knickers in case she had to be seen. I went into a boutique in its closing sale, and also discovered that Sainsbury's sold them too. In Edgware's Sainsbury's you have to scan your receipt to be let out of the self service area, but something went wrong and the alarms went off as I went through holding a four pack of ladies undies. Home and made mum some breakfast, then went outside for a bit as I took a call from Health in Mind who are an NHS organisation, I'd decided to try. I had an hour's call walking about the streets talking about managing anxiety and phobias -- except much of it was verbally repeating the information I'd already twice supplied online. At the end of the conversation they said there was some online stuff that might help, plus they will send me a list of low cost therapists in my area. Somewhat useful and I will i...

Mum had quite a disturbed nights sleep, and I was listening to her and so was also disturbed. No wonder she was a bit out of it when I turned up yesterday. I got up fairly early, as the rain recommenced its hosing down outside. Mum slept in somewhat, and when she did get up I made us a brunch of several teas, avocado, sourdough toast and eggs, she flagged a bit and went back to bed for the afternoon, sleeping soundly. While she was in bed, and it wasn't raining for an hour, I went for a walk down to Edgware, doing a therapeutic circuit or two of Stonegrove Park where there was a large and photogenic puddle. Bought a few provisions in Edgware then mooched back, and sat quietly till she got up.  Mum was a bit perkier in the afternoon, and we drank more teas, and I cooked, but she wasn't hungry. We agreed that I'm going to book a doctor's appointment. If we're going to go with mum by taxi. That's as far as my plans go so far.   Missing Lorraine and I'm keen to ...

Up early and a fast breakfast, swapping Valentine's cards with Lorraine. Then off to Edgware this sunny Valentine's morning. En route, Mum texted to say she wasn't seeing Robert as planned as she was feeling unwell. I found her very sleepy with the evil cough bug, a sore throat, very sore eyes and so on.  Soon after I arrived, Wynford popped in, and Maheena dropped in soon after I returned from shopping in Sainsbury's and Superdrug. I also spoke to Lorraine and Toby.  Mum fast asleep when I got back from Edgware. She was discombobulated when she woke up thinking she'd slept through the night. I gave her some teas and a hot cross bun and paracetamol, and then in the evening I cooked a bolognese with turkey mince. We watched TV but the signal was erratic. Mum had some wine, and we watched Dirty Dancing which for some reason I'd never seen. I was probably feeling irritable, but the lead female character I found insipid.    Mum fed the foxes and slowly got ready for...

Friday the 13th. Up early a glance at Kansas before making breakfast and Lorraine and I moved things from a to b now that the carpets have been laid. The house smells of weird new carpets.   I called Mum, and she was unwell. A bit later Wynford phoned me saying he'd seen her and I resolved to go up tomorrow. We went on  quick trip to the Long Man brewery and bought Steve the sensible present of some beer, and a beer glass, for his belated birthday. Then I walked by the sea listening to more of the Three Body Problem . Home and Lorraine and I did a bit more of the a to b business.   To the Boot this evening and met assorted cheery rebooters there. Andy, just returned from cycling in Vietnam for ten days, Adele and Patrick, Steve happy to be back from Leicester and enjoying having done some invigilation work: a cookery exam, with the children doing all kinds of exotic nosh. Also Chris and Julie. Not seen Chris since Christmas Eve when we were in the Boot with Mum. Tonight L...

Speedy Gonzales style, Lorraine and I got up at seven and immediately began hauling things around the house before the carpet layers came. Meanwhile Lorraine also dropped her car off to be serviced. When they arrived the men were moaning about the weight of the carpets, and the layout of the rooms,  the piano etc. but once Lorraine returned from the garage she employed her special powers and made everything smooth. She is brilliant. Especially with people who are doing jobs for us, which for some reason makes me feel cringey.  Carpets were laid in the living room (grey blue), the stairs and landing (green) and our big bedroom (a slightly reddish dark blue). We're pleased with the results, but now have to move everything back to place.   Otherwise a day at the aesthetic coalface. Life drawing for a couple of hours, a woman at last although athletic and slim, which is, the consensus among my predominantly female classmates, less interesting than curves. I agree. Home again....

Snoozed in this morning after a lively night. Called mum a couple of times as she is unwell with the horrid sore throat cough bug. Lorraine seeing Dawn after she went to her personal trainer.  One of my poems, called Gardening with my Wife accepted this morning by  Channel Magazine . They are based in Ireland and so they pay, due to Ireland being a civilised country that values culture. It's a short poem, and one of the few that mentions Lorraine. Like many other writers, what gets me writing is what's unresolved or in some way troubling, so Lorraine rarely makes the cut. Out for a walk this afternoon. The business of replacing all the pebbles on the beach going on slowly. At the Seaford end of the bay, the sand is still visible. I'm not sure I quite understand the process, but the pebbles defend the beach and absorb the power of the waves. The little beauties keep chaos at bay. Somewhat rainy towards the end of my walk but I wasn't utterly drenched. Otherwise I was li...