under another sun

My ear ache is getting worse and making it hard to sleep. Talking to people one way or another today, Mum and Anton, and hearing from Toby, and Sarah Barnsley was nice. Uploading the new episode of SKTV. But fighting the feeling that what I do is absolutely futile. A walk around the park with Lorraine helped, however. She has real things to contend with, such as the government, local authorities and the safety of her staff and children -- all of which put my own self-indulgent gloom in perspective. These moods pass. Much as this day did, without much incident thankfully.

Very hot in blighty today, apparently a record temperature for July at Heathrow of 36.7C. Working in my office and sitting in the shade in the garden from time to time. Lorraine off to work, and Beth and Laura, who had a sleepover, sensibly off to the seaside. In contrast to the beautiful weather, I spent the day in a deepening gloom, feeling fed up at the futility of all my efforts in every direction. Although I am writing what I think of as one of my better poems at the moment, I learned of a failure in another competition which didn't help. I need a rethink. Thank goodness for Lorraine, for after I talked to her I felt much better, and did  a spot of hobbly but therapeutic gardening before we ate salady things outside with a happy Beth who'd caught the sun, planning our wee garden party on Saturday.

Dreaming about serial killers Contacting agents today. Plus lurking in children's book departments in Waterstones and Borders checking up on what's hot on the high street. Al called while I was looking through them, to do an emergency afternoon's work writing headlines for a multinational campaign about hepatitis A and B, which I was happy to do. Writing headlines you know are going to be translated means that any idiom or playfulness has to be vetoed as it can't be translated. And given that these were for a pharmaceutical company they have to be rather plonking too, and are legally vetted to within an inch of their lives. Feeling begloomed, exhausted and overwhelmed with frustration. Nothing I have done seems worth a hill of beans at times like this. The feeling snowballs during the day, and the only thing I can face doing in the evening is to rest my ankle and watch Dexter. The series is fascinating, and you are absolutely on the side of this lovable serial killer, a...

A bit of a write off The wrong side of the bed this morning; antsy and couldn't settle. Tried instead to do practical things, which all seemed to backfire, such as attempting to log onto the website of Writers' & Artists' Yearbook. Access to the site comes free with the yearbook, and you type in the code that comes with the book. This simply crashed, and has done for two days. Sent an email to enquiries at A and C Black (listed in the yearbook) which was bounced. Phoned the company and got nowhere. Useless and annoying wankers. Gloom snowballed somewhat with inability to work. Ended up going for a walk by the sea, trying to decide on reasons not to leave clothes in a pile. Main reason: the water looked cold. After walking for two hours I felt a bit more cheery though. Home and spoke to Mike at On Track for some time about Brighton and his plans and schemes. Also confirmed I will be up to the smoke again tomorrow to work with my old agency again. For some reason had the...