under another sun

A day to do Peter Kenny stuff unhindered. And the last one of January. I always dislike Januaries, and although I am loathe to let time slip by, January slipping past I can deal with. I am listening to The Confident Mind , by Dr Nate Zinsser on audible. As its title suggests it focuses mainly on confidence and as I regularly experience confidence crashes and lapses I am hoping it will prove useful. It's all very American,  pumped and performance oriented with particularly tedious examples from US sports and the military. But there are clever strategies in there too. I was listening to this while on two walks, and like using this sort of books to catalyse my own reviews of how I go about things, and to be reminded about the virtues of thinking positively.  Received poetry two rejections, both however full of encouragement,  one was for the collection MS, which I sent out knowing it was a work in progress, so felt fine about that. While the magazine editor said she'd has no...

A slow morning. Breakfast of mushrooms and bacon on toast. Did ten minutes of business admin. Drove off to Seaford for more reconnaissance this afternoon. Although it was stormy in the north of the UK, it was a still, sunny day and down by the sea the air smelt really fresh. Just mooched around for a couple of hours, walking down streets and nosing about and discussing what what we are looking for in a new house. Both enthused by the idea of a change, and not living in a terrace.  On our wish list is a big kitchen, which is the heart of the house where people can sit, a garden that is a decent size and not overshadowed, a conservatory, and room enough for folks to stay.   The Seaford roofs dusted with yellow lichen, which was nice.  The town has a few shops, cafes, restaurants and half a dozen pubs, and seems nice enough. Lorraine conducted some research with a person in a flower shop who said she had been there for two years and loved it. Home to the cats. Spoke to Mum, ...

A slow Saturday morning. I sprang up fairly early to feed the pesky cats, and took back up bacon and egg sandwiches and cups of tea. Sat in bed talking for hours. Eventually we got up and tidied the house and cooked as we had invited Sarah and Dan over and Lorraine decided to unleash individual chicken leek and tarragon pies which take some prepping. Sarah works with Lorraine, and is an excellent person all round. I like Dan too, who I've chatted two a few times too. He used to work in the police, but having retired from that has done other jobs, like work as a postie. I asked him which of the cop dramas seemed most realistic, and he said none of them. Lovely to spend an evening with Sarah, who I have known for years, without ever having actually hung out with over a few glasses of wine and excellent pies. A cheery night, and one to repeat I hope. 

Up early, with a distinct hangover courtesy of Anton, and after a bit of frenzied social meeja about the podcast, made off to Preston Park station, pausing at the daily grind for a cup of tea. Gingerly sipping lots of water as I train hopped to Elstree and Borehamwood station. And from there a brisk walk to the Waggon and 'orses, where I ordered a medicinal Guinness before Mum and Mas arrived shortly after. Mum had reserved a seat near the fire, which hadn't been lit when we got there. Many people got involved in struggling to keep it alight.    Nice chat for a few hours there by the intermittently flickering fire. Mas wandering off as usual to talk to randoms, and Mum and I having a chance to talk. Mas saying he wants to advise the Democrats on how to regain control of their own party.  Mum saying she feels a bit lonely -- which waves of Covid doesn't help. Decent fish and chips at the pub, which Mum and I ate. Mas ordered a chicken Caesar Salad, but said that next time ...

In a bit of a frenzy trying to get everything done this morning. The Germans asking me to tweak the copy, which I did rapidly. Then, thanks to Robin's rapid response, I was able to upload the podcast. I ordered a cab with my new taxi app, and zoomed off to Hove Polyclinic for the second time this week. Hove  Polyclinic makes me feel sad, as I last went there with Janet.   Today I was twenty minutes early, and had to wait half an hour. The Phlebotomy nurse exclaimed in horror when she saw my arms: Where are they?  Meaning my elusive veins. However she struck oil with the first jab.  Another cab home, to do a few more bits and pieces urgently, and have a bite to eat. Bob called, and there is a Spring meeting in the offing. Then yet another cab (rule of three). The cabby sharing his opinions, 'no offence... but people coming down from London have ruined Brighton.' Arrived at the Saint George's Inn a couple of streets below the hospital at the same moment as Anton. ...

Lorraine's departure from the school was announced to parents, and she told the children too. Lots of love being shown her by parents and children, giving her mixed feelings. It made it all feel real for her.  My day, was getting up early prep for recording with Robin and taking a brief from the Germans to write a 2-3 page article for the sort of toe-curlingly dull in house magazine corporates go in for.  Calliope scratching at the door like a poltergeist three times during the recordings did not help, and I felt generally a little flustered. Not my finest hour as a podcaster. Talking about the book C+nto by Joelle Taylor, which is an elegiac celebration of Butch Lesbian life and the communality of the club. Did the German work in time to walk 45 minutes to Hove Polyclinic for a blood test. Only when I arrived did I discover I'd left the notes for the test on my desk. No note: no test. Felt really frustrated with myself. Walked home and felt infuriated by how I had wasted alm...

Met up with Robin to record a bit of podcast stuff -- which I set about editing right away afterwards. She is busy being an executor at the moment. Not much fun there. A walk in the afternoon. A helicopter taking off from the golf course as I was walking past it. Took some random snaps. A helicopter. A man in black and white. A sign. A view of Brighton Amex Stadium in the mist. 

A much needed slumping day. As I am still in recovery mode. Slept and read this afternoon on the gold sofa while Lorraine played Star Dew Valley and listened to music. I had to apologise to Sarah that I wouldn't be there for her online launch of her marvellous book The Thoughts , which was tonight too.  Then off to the posh restaurant The Ivy in Brighton for  6:15 to celebrate Klaudia's 18th birthday. Lorraine and I bumped into Anne, Anton, Klaudia, Oskar and Anna as they were climbing out of their cab. Klaudia had been partying hard all weekend, as is only right and proper, going to London with a posse of her pals on Friday, and then having a party at home last night, then going out to The Green Door after midnight to stay out late. So it was a slightly wan and delicate Goddaughter who appeared tonight -- but she did very well considering.   A lovely meal, and Klaudia liked the silver bangle from Silverado I'd bought her and simply put it on straight away, and the m...

Another night with no pain thank God. Still aware of my guts but they are no longer hurting, but very little energy. Lorraine off to get a massage today, she dropped me in town and I bought a present for Klaudia from Silverado for her 18th birthday. Makes me feel quite proud that my Goddaughter has reached that little landmark. Walked home via Sainsbury's where I bought some hot cross buns and sauerkraut to eat once the antibiotics stop nuking my biome.  Home and did a bit of business admin. Then a fascinating hour this afternoon talking to Liz the sudden cousin. A sign of the times, we met on a google meet page for an hour. Really enjoyed chatting with her. She is an interesting, well travelled, creative and thoughtful person. The hour passed in no time. Really nice to have met her, and we resolved to meet up if possible this year. Then Lorraine and I scampering about getting ready to be collected by Beth and James who drove us off to Eastbourne to meet Julie, James's mum, who...

So after having taken horsepills yesterday, I had a night with no pain. A dramatic change just after two big doses of antibiotics. I am not sure if this is just a coincidence. The pill add to the comprehensively washed-outness and make the edges of my hands and forearms tingle but this is a tradeoff worth having. The absence of pain is a wonderful thing, as it can be draining in itself. Agreed to do a two hour job for the Germans next week, apart from that I am taking on nothing. I need to regroup. Forced myself to go for an  hour or so's walk and read more of my Gustav Meyrink book. And began editing my interview with Janet Sutherland with a sense of purpose.  Evening involved a takeaway from Red Chillies, I however opted for mildly spiced food. 

So a really poor night again, with gut pain keeping me awake again. Spoke to different doctor, who prescribed some antibiotics, and has set up a blood test. I am going next week. If the antibiotics don't sort it next step a colonoscopy or MRI.  Not getting too alarmed so far, boosted by my cancer test a few weeks ago being negative. Apprised Keith of this, as I'm  not in the business of taking a stressful brief next week. After doing a smidge of work for a couple of hours for some folks in Munich, I strode down London Road to pick up my horsepills and on down to West Street Specsavers. One of the nose pads on my Harry Potterish specs had disappeared, probably after I sat on them. Always very helpful in there. My pad replaced, my screws tightened, glasses polished.   A plaguey bus home sat among teenagers.  Shortly after I got home, Beth popped in for a coffee and Sam, Beth and I had an enjoyable hour's chatting. Had my first coffee for a few days, and the three of us...

Another poor night, and general uncomfortableness. Worked on cow-based concepts this morning, then a lunchtime walk. Called by Germansand then this dealt with, the instant I sat down other things cropped up. When finally I could read, I fell asleep almost immediately.   Resolved this evening to call the doctor again, as general pain and uncomfortableness is not improving. Gah. Just finding myself peeved at low energy. What little I do have squandered on thinking about cows. Podcast stuff not yet done, and I haven't written for ages. Feeling frustrated In the evening watched the last episode of The Expanse. What now? The void after The Expanse.

Up early after an uncomfortable night of pain in the guts.  Gah. Beginning to doubt my diagnosis of last week now. Used being up early to send off a wee a poetry manuscript and snap a photo of the retreating wolf moon.  Went briefly to hospital this morning to drop off Lorraine's twenty-four hour monitor into a tray in the cardiac outpatients in the hospital. The symptoms she was experiencing while highly stressed last year, have stopped. But good to get things sorted. Then back home to struggle with a brief about cattle reproduction for the day from mes amis in Paris. A few short walks during the day. Cooked, and slumped in front of the TV. Below the wolf moon slinking off into the west early this morning, pursued by a gull.   

Fleeting sense of freedom on Monday morning, quickly dispelled by talking to Keith about work stuff, and sending off timesheets, emails, and then once home at lunchtime, I had received a note from mes amis in Paris, asking me to do a job for them, so I started thinking about that.    I left my computer doing its thing, and told Sam I was walking off into the wilderness. Then off on a walk, while chatting to Lorraine who was driving to school after popping into the Hospital to have a heart tracer put on her for 24 hours.  Below the top three are walking around the western side of the hillfort ring which if you follow the ring enough, you end up looking south to the channel, a snap into the allotment areas. Just love that lilac and orange, and a dog.

A day of quiet reflection, after tidying up. Perhaps not unsurprisingly, after liberal quantities of beer and fiery curry, my gut griped in the night. A gold sofa day with Lorraine and cats, listening to music, chatting, dozing, light reading and watching assorted detectives on TV. While soberly sipping my poo-provoking sachets to get my guts back to normal. Lorraine busy with her cyber tasks on farms and so on.  Chatting with Mum this morning about Liz the sudden cousin. Loraine chatting with Maureen. I hope to see Mum in the next week or two. Sam back from London late this afternoon. A roast dinner. All well. Feeling very happy not to be plunged into a new brief first thing tomorrow. Mildly diverted by finding a Facebook page based on the Lord of the Rings, containing all this sort of thing...

Felt like a new man this morning after a decent sleep. Also weighed myself for the first time in a while, and have lost a slow but steady 3kg since I began to get a grip on my grub again. There is still a way to go before I feel happier with my weight again. Beth called this morning while we were still in bed, she is very happy about her and James exchanging on the new flat. Lorraine off to see her old work pal Tanya for a coffee, which she enjoyed lots. She and I did lateral flow tests: negative. I made a couple of calls and did some bits, but couldn't face sitting at my computers and instead went for a walk up to the hill fort and mooched about. Felt happy to be walking today, and feeling a bit more in control of life, and work. The prospect of not working on Monday deeply appealing too. Below me, Brighton in a bit of a haze. didn't take my camera for some reason, and just set off.  Lorraine back early this afternoon, just as I returned from my walk. Peaceful afternoon, and I...

Horrible night, kept awake by searing lower gut pain, and Lorraine woke up again with me shifting around.  Called the surgery, got a phone appointment, and biffed my meeting with Keith, as I was braindead after just a couple of hours of sleep and needed to focus my limited resources on completing the German work. He was sympathetic, and told me he'd spent a night in a hospital with suspected appendicitis when it was actually trapped wind.  Sent off the German work, talk of another job from them which happily evaporated. Finally the doctor called, about two hours late, and arranged for me to come into the medical centre. As it got dark, I was seen by an excellent woman doctor, attentive, reassuring, listening and assured. After being examined and chatting, it seems that the most likely explanation was constipation. Not something I have experienced before. Was given a prescription for drinkable sachets, and told to take Senna poo pills, then I was, ahem, good to go. Walking help...

Dreadful night's sleep, waking up after two hours and being kept awake with pains in my lower guts. Up in the middle of the night, disturbing Lorraine and taking assorted pills, and drinking herbal teas. Felt a bit better after an hour's doze between 6-7. But tired and wan all day. In the night I looked at my phone, and learned Keith and I had, in the politest and complimentary terms, and been biffed from the job in the US. Met up with Keith for at least an hour this morning to discuss this and other matters.  I wrote to the Germans saying I could do some work for them, and then went for a short walk in a gorgeous blue skied day. For my pains I  received another intricate and tedious chunk of copy to write in the afternoon however. Early evening off to buy some green beans and make a fish curry in cocoanut milk. A couple of snaps walking the circle of the hillfort's ring.

A terrible night's sleep. Mind churning irritably over work, and vaguely painful guts that were niggling at me.  Up early, and Keith and I at last fell into synch at 8:30 and then worked fairly solidly till a presentation at six with another creative team to folks in the US. Had to turn away German demanding turnaround in a couple of hours this morning to a brand new job. I said no way. They found another solution, apparently. So at the end of the day guys in the US were extremely complimentary, but we both thought they were liking the US team's work better. I felt I was presenting work I wasn't entirely happy with, which is a feeling I hate. After work, spoke to Anton who had come around to play the best game in the world, that I wouldn't understand because it is too complex for the likes of me etc. etc. Twilight Struggle with Sam. They happily re-enacted the cold war over a board, playing things like the Nasser card, and chatting about defcon levels. Lorraine got los...

Lorraine still off, but much improved. Beth came to hang out with Lorraine for several hours today, sitting happily together on the sofa chatting. Two peas in a pod. A thoroughly day at the office. Keith's computer and server having problems, and having to reset all his passwords. Afternoon ended with Keith, in a silent fury with the world, ending the connection and resorting to a couple of texts. These shenanigans have put us behind where we should be, and means tomorrow will be a slog. Our ideas have, uncharacteristically, got lost in the fog. Spoke to Mum about Liz, and she is happy for me to connect them. Heated up soup for Lorraine. I cooked solids for Sam and myself.   Went for a few walks including after work to try to clear my head. All a bit misty and mysterious tonight...

All work and no play. Me up early and working. In the garden, six wood pigeons in the little hedge eating ivy berries. Dawn around, collecting Lorraine to take her off to have a tooth extraction under sedation. Dawn kindly waited for her, and then drove her back into my care.  Lorraine sweetly befuddled on arrival saying it was the best way to have a tooth out. She remembers sitting down and then little else. She spent the rest of the day dozing happily on the gold sofa, being given paracetamol and periodically being given soft, blood warm orange squash and mushy things to consume.  Meanwhile a classic Monday. Keith and I mired this morning. Keith raging and made furious by various issues he was having with his design software. Me devoid of much inspiration. Meanwhile the Germans demanding work, which I ignored till they fixed their tone, and was able to do in an additional two hours this early evening after Keith and I euthanised the working day.  Warmed up soup for Lorr...

Up with a determination to do a few things. Some practical... Lorraine and I worked out how to use the new hoover we had bought. I called Mum, and sent off some timesheets for the job I was doing last week, and I emailed Robin who has had a difficult time lately.    Lorraine and I resolved to go out for a walk and we drove to Woods Mill for a bit of a walk. I took my camera and snapped some not very good pictures. We sat in the bird hide and so on. It was fun, nevertheless. By the evening I felt inclined to do little again. I seem to be in hibernation mode at present. Toby called, however, and I had a nice chat with him. Another lockdown in Toronto which is a bit of a drag. Nice to chat, however, although the Tobster a bit bored with lockdowns, especially as he is in a sabbatical year enjoying the world as his lobster etc. I received a quite unexpected and friendly email this evening, having been traced by a cousin I never knew I had called Liz. She is a child of one of Mum's ...

Lorraine went off today to get one of her trademark haircuts which sees her returning with longer hair than before. Swishy and quite glamourous. She also hung out with Betty for a bit too. I meanwhile, after popping out to get some bread in the morning, spent the rest of the day having a gold sofa day as the rain fell with persistent gusto outside. All I wanted to do today was watch TV. It's good to have ambitions which are easily achievable. So I watched a film shot by the RAF in colour during the war about Lancaster bombers and their crews. I watched a short documentary talking to pilots from the Battle of Britain. I watched FA cup football, and Chelsea win, and a documentary about Manchester City. Synopsis: rubbish.  In short I became an invertebrate sprawled on the sofa like Jabba the Hut and what's more I felt a good deal better for it. An earlyish night, where I slept like a large baby.

Up early, and got to work with Keith at 8:30. A bit of a slog for this early in the year. Tired by the end of the day. A couple of very brief walks in rubbish weather. In the late afternoon I had time to phone mum for a chat. In the evening, after Keith's Virgin had crashed again and I had faced the prospect of presenting alone to the Americans, all went fairly well. It makes me feel odd talking to Americans. A year on from last year's insurrection the BBC's Americast podcast was saying the majority of people who voted Republican last time, still believe that Trump won. Democracy in the US has been hanging by a thread. In fact sanity itself has been hanging by a thread. With QAnon and other conspiracies raging in the US, even down to our own Prime Minister telling  outright lies every time he opens his mouth, a sense of truth is hard to find. But for sentient Americans this must be an alarming time. Done with the Americas at eight, I flew downhill to the Shahi to join the c...

Woke this morning having had an unusually detailed dream about an Australian war poet, who flew Brewster Buffalos for the Royal Australian Air Force in the far east during world war 2.  In the dream I discovered his collected poems,  and another volume of collected letters and journals, in a bookshop and learned all about him. Woke up remembering everything except his name. I used to dream about books with my name on them. Now I dream about a dead man on the other side of the world. Made me remember the dear old  Victor West , an English WW2 poet I was mates with in my twenties and thirties. Anyway spent my rare idle moments wondering what the dream meant .  Work briefly enlived by Keith's internet going down and him having an enraged phone call with Virgin. Lost about an hour to these shenanigans. Otherwise image hunting to support our slightly strange concepts... near realistic busts of people made out of fabric, people staring through ice, medical doctors from the...

Up early, a little after Lorraine. Getting over the hump day of the week. Worked on detailed but boring German stuff, sent that off to Munich, then chatted with Keith. US brief just after lunch, and then bounced ideas about with Keith and got to a point where we could stop by close of play. We have to present ideas at 7pm on Friday evening to the US guys, which is inconvenient. I am desperate to pick up the threads of my own writing. But money is money I suppose. Sam dragged the tree off to the recycling spot in Preston Park this morning while I was working. And the Dusty Dolls came. Went out for a series of short walks to get to my 10k paces. On the last one saw the big new moon, the hidden part clearly visible, and Jupiter gleaming near it. Home and made the plain meal of steamed peas and cabbage, boiled potatoes with a bit of grilled fish, which I found unaccountably tasty. Possibly because of Spartan Month. Horrifically, however, I weighed myself and seem to have added half a kilo...

Lorraine's alarm going off at 6:15 this morning. Back to reality, and my wifey back to school. Rain and rainbows this morning the day becoming more seasonally appropriate as it progressed. Keith and I met up at nine and spent most of the day dangling, waiting to hear from the US about the job we are to work on. Keith trying to be proactive. We reread the brief and discussed ways of interpreting it. I was reluctant to start, however, as this is the same job abruptly cancelled in December. The nice Germans I was working with before Christmas got back in touch, however, and I spent some of the afternoon doing a bit of a tedious job for them.  A call from Anton, already traumatised by the return to work. Work is a toad. Spartan Month started today: three walks, taking me up to 10k paces. Calorie counted Spartan rations meant when I weighed myself just before bed, I'd lost 1kg in 24 hours.   At noon Sam and I discussed how cold things we were and I realised the heating wasn't on...

Sprang out of bed at an alarming 8:30 and made tea and spent a bit of time attempting to locate my Mojo. Prepped for my conversation with Janet Sutherland, and spent an enjoyable hour or so talking with her from 11:00 am. A few technical glitches but her son was able to sort out. I admire her poetry greatly, so having a conversation with her, and hearing her poems was an absolute pleasure. Chatting about how good Sarah Barnsley's new book is at the end too.  Fond farewells with Jade this morning as she set off back to St Andrew's today. It is difficult for Sam and Jade, but they are making the best of things I think. Glad I didn't have to face such an epic journey. Instead we found the boxes marked Christmas, and put away all the decorations. Both of us with mixed feelings about it. I suppose there is something tidier about it.   A nice chat with Mum on FaceTime. Mum was sitting near the front door, and Wynford from next door knocked, and invited himself and his wife and da...

Bromyard a bit cooler this morning, after yesterday's record high. Up and after breakfast of mushrooms and bacon with Sue and John, Sue Lorraine and I walked out to a nearby farm to buy some eggs, multicoloured beauties they were, to bring home with us. Lovely that Sue and John can just saunter out into the country a hundred yards from where they live.   After staying with Sue and John we returned feeling decidedly more relaxed than when we arrived. They really are perfect hosts and do everything they can to make us feel relaxed. Despite a few pinchpoints of traffic, and enthusiastic downpours, the journey fairly easy. Arrived home at around five. Sam and Jade had spoilt the cats. Sam collected a curry from around the corner. Jade's last evening before she goes back to Scotland. We watched a movie called Cruella being the backstory of the villain from 1001 Dalmatians, which was cheery enough, and featured Emma Stone and Emma Thomson being entertainingly evil to one other. A che...