under another sun

Up and off again. Last day in my three day stint. Another day in a goldfish bowl meeting room. One of the advantages of being older is that people cannot be certain that you are a person of no importance. A couple of times people came to the room, clearly wanting to turf me out, and I just gave them a Paddington stare through the glass and they thought better of it. Worked on the train to get everything sorted in time, and despite various IT pains at work (they asked me to bring my own laptop, but their guest Wifi blocks you from sending emails sometimes), started the day running around with a memory key. Spent the afternoon with Fernanda, after our first thoughts had been scorned by some suit, who insisted on replacing them with idiocies, which due to his seniority within the organisation, apparently we had to run with. I reminded myself I was only there for a few more hours. Released back into the wild by Fernanda. She is a breath of fresh air, with an original mind and a beautif...

Trying to work on the train, but it was too full, and pesky faux first was full too. Bah. Into work and working alone for most of the day in a different office a bit like goldfish bowl, which at one point I was forced out of. Fernanda busy most of the day, so did most of the work and drawing up solo. A nice walk at lunchtime, and  chance to see some light. Walked along a bit of the nearby canal, and past gasometers that had been repurposed as swanky private properties. Not much to report in the afternoon other than steady concepting.  Slow journey home. Home, and oddly desperate for a beer. Lorraine had cooked me a chicken curry which I had with the Cylons and a couple of tinnies. Sweet. Below  taken with gasometer 'industrial luxury' apartments. Each of the columns had the stamp at the bottom of them, which I rather liked.

Up with Lorraine and off to London. To St Pancras, in faux first. Heading for a tasteful modern redevelopment around the back of Kings Cross. I was early, so found the canal and on the other side of it was St Martin's. Outside were dancing fountains, which suddenly sprung up as I looked at them, catching a man cycling past. I took a snap of them, their jets undulating in waves. I had a walk at lunchtime, and bought a sandwich and ate it sitting by a jukebox in a waiting area in St Pancras. Then into the office, where Fernanda grabbed me from reception. A clean and attractive office building, very swanky if soulless. Spent the day in a meeting room looking at a grey wall coming up with ways of selling a kind of medical packaging. Nanda had to go off and fix lots of problems for most of the day, so I was left mostly to my own devices. Nice to see her though, in those times when we were together. Then off home in the evening, and home to Lorraine and eating more of the turkey pi...

Lorraine and I off to Trading Boundaries today, and bought some really colourful cushions and a gorgeous patchwork quilt for the big bedroom. They suddenly brought the room alive. Always like it there, and ghosting about upstairs seeing all the Roger Dean prints. After this Lorraine and I went for a walk around Lake Wood near Uckfield. However it was incredibly muddy, but we had our boots on and squelched around enjoyably enough for a while. Good to get some fresh air. There is a small lake there with is very atmospheric, bordered by small caves and unusual rocks. Home, and then Lorraine started working on her bits and pieces for school, and I did some work on poems, and other bits and pieces, including speaking to Mum and arranging to come and meet her and Mas on Wednesday. Also girding loins for working in London next week. Lorraine made an amazing turkey pie, which we ate while watching Cylons in the evening. Below a detail of a pen drawing of the Tales Tom Topographic Ocean...

Up fairly early for a Saturday. Brought L some breakfast in bed, and then we got up to go into town. Lorraine getting another massage, as there was too much to do last week for one masseuse. I went to Starbucks where I worked for an hour and a half on Sin Cycle , feeling really good about this now. Then I sauntered round to Foodilic where Lorraine and Beth were, and I had a coffee with them and chatted to Beth. Then a spot of shopping, or more accurately returning some curtains we had bought, and buying new CO2 cylinders for our Sodastream. Doing our bit to not infect the world with a million bits of plastic. I also bought a new reusable water bottle for the same reason. It was pouring with rain, so we went home. Luckily Lorraine had driven into town. Home, and then we got a cab to Anton's for a rather good meal to celebrate Klaudia's 14th birthday. Anton and Anne had prepared a feast as usual, with pulled pork and wings and a woof-woof like sauce, and curly fries and corn o...

Up early and did some billing and emails before I got the bus (being late) off to the Evolution Arts place for the Stained Glass window course. Making slow progress. Ben the likeable guy who runs the course tends to be reactive rather than proactive, so you have to ask for help. Some are far more insistent and doing so than me, which makes me feel a bit irritable. Still I managed to cut a fairly circular piece of green glass. I want to get the most out of the course, so I have to alter my approach and be prepared to be more of a 'pane' in class. Arf! All confirmed for a few days next week working with Fernanda. I had packed my bag with my computer and so on so I could start work in a cafe shortly after. Frustratingly I packed everything except my wallet. Chris, who I had a coffee with last week, stood me a coffee, and we had a fairly good chat, then I bussed home again, picked up my wallet, had a quick chat with Sonia, and walked back into town. I worked in Starbucks lookin...

Bobbing and weaving today. Organising a few days freelance in London next week with Fernanda, which will be fine. Chats with Mum arranging to see her and Mas next week, and messaging with Carl and Toby, who was invigilating an exam (or as his autocorrect put it, 'invigorating' an exam). Also got some detailed feedback from Charlotte on Sin Cycle , which is very thought provoking and useful. Otherwise, worked on the Centaur libretto, and completed the first draft of the next scene. Off for a walk in the afternoon to blow off the cobwebs and I racked up my 10k steps, listening to a Mayo and Kermode podcast. Lorraine off all day and evening at a Education conference near Arundel. Ate fish and chips tonight with mushy peas, and watched Professor Green's documentary's about Working Class White Men, which was insightful and sad. Then I toyed about with stained glass window designs, listening to David Bowie's last album, Blackstar , which I think stands up with the bes...

Woke to the news that Ursula K LeGuin had died after a long life as a fine SF writer, whose book The Left Hand of Darkness I had enjoyed as a teenager. I read other of her books later, but The Left Hand of Darkness was interesting because the society it depicted was constructed around a different sexual cycle, where its inhabitants were gender neutral, and then chose which sex they wanted to be when they reached 'Kemmer' a point when they felt like breeding. Certain fish do things like this, so the idea was entirely plausible to me at the time. A letter from Robin with comments on Sin Cycle , which were very useful, and I was really pleased with. Was contacted about doing bits of freelance I have a cheeky three days pencilled in next week working with Fernanda at her new agency, and the folks in Paddington wrote to check my general availability over the next few months. I cooked bean jar today. Smells of beany goodness drifting through the house. Lorraine said she thought i...

Continuing in beep/whirr mode, sent out MS to two new agents. And worked on the Telltale anthology, which was another thing crossed of my list. Lots of good poems in it, including one I absolutely love by Robin. My list is becoming weirdly nimble, which is exactly what I wanted from January. I am in fierce working mode, which is rather good. The next thing is to get my body weirdly nimble, because I am still festively plump, and want to sit about in the dark nights eating bad things. Luckily we've eaten our way through most of the bad things now. Also got a letter from accountants saying I should have paid tax on the last day of December (I had it in my head it was Jan for some reason, and Andrew, recovering from surgery hadn't reminded me). I simply paid it today, however. Klaudia's birthday, she has just joined facebook and twitter. A new new rite of being 14, although Facebook is not deemed cool by the young un's these days. A mizzly gloom all day, I went for a...

Working hard this morning. I have utterly changed my policy on agents, seeing as many of them state in their guidelines that you can send them samples of your book (the ones that are accepting approaches) but can't guarantee to ever get back to you unless they are interested. I am just adopting a multiple, mail-them-if-they-have-a-pulse policy and turning it into a numbers game, until such point as anyone shows interest or I am done with the whole of the Children's Artists' & Writers' Yearbook. Then I will try another route. All this a long-winded way of saying I sent out my novel to two more agents. It is time consuming, because even if you have prewritten a covering letter template, synopsis and so on, each agency wants the information sent in different ways so you always have to adapt it. But machines don't mind doing this sort of thing at all. The policy from now on is one of unfeeling relentlessness. Beep. Whirr. I sent out a short story too. Off into t...

Up at a reasonable time, but Lorraine sounding a bit croaky-throated and wan. Rosie and Innis arrived in Rosie's new car (a mini) to take us to Dawn's house. Anton had walked there in the rain. It was raining most of the day quite nastily. Had a lovely time there, drinking wine and eating a vegetarian repast that Dawn had made. I always feel very happy and cozy in Dawn's wee house, and love how you have an uninterrupted view of the Downs through the back windows. Not much nicer than a lazy Sunday afternoon bantering with good chums, then after fond farewells with Dawn, the rest of us crammed into the new Mini and we sped through the rain home, Lorraine and I being dropped off  outside our front door. Lorraine found a flat book package from Amazon damp under the doormat, luckily the books in it were unharmed: a hard copy of The Third Policeman , as I had to have it in the flesh as well as an Audiobook. I want to re-read it. And Ocean Vuong's prize-winning collection ...

A dreary grey day. Made Lorraine breakfast in bed, and then we got up and zoomed into town, where I had booked Lorraine an hour's massage. I took myself to my favourite non-ideologically sound Starbucks, and read poetry by Stephen Bone and James Sheard, enjoying both. Then I collected Lorraine, who said that she was coming back next week as she was only half done. There was a lot of work to be done on her apparently. We sauntered up to Foodilic where we met Betty for a healthy lunch in her lunch break (vegetarian moussaka with two kinds of salad for L and I) chicken and two kinds of salad for Betty. Nice to catch up with her for a bit. Then she had to go back to work, and we did shopping and looked at curtains and other bits and pieces in various shops for some time, before grabbing a bus home. A cozy evening in, with the weather being full of rain and drear outside. Read a bit of poetry wunderkind Kate Tempest's book Hold Your Own . Patchy so far, but not without interest....

Up a bit late, but early enough to say hello to Dawn and Lorraine before they went. A spot of work in my study before setting off to Evolution Arts to start my beginners course in Stained Glass that Lorraine had bought me for my birthday last year. Up a couple of flights of stairs to an art room, which reminded me of being at school a bit. Art rooms are great places. Three other newbies, all retired. Ben our teacher, and another student who had attended before and was working on his own project. Basics today, scoring the glass with a glass cutter and tapping the glass to break the section off. Then learning to bite off bits of glass, with pliers and a curved lead knife. Started to cut bits of glass off, and then we started work on our first practice project, which is a square made of four plain pieces of glass, and a circle of glass for the centre. Managed to cut three or four of the pieces, with a quarter circle cut out of the corner of each.  A nice chat with Ben after the clas...

Felt  cheerful this morning still. Up and doing stuff of one kind or another. Even getting a cut and paste book rejection (from the large agent I sent the children's book to yesterday) didn't phase me. I think they were just bouncing that kind of book at the moment. Resilience. Put a chicken in the oven, and waited till Lorraine had got home, (Dawn was staying the night) before boofing off to Lewes to the John Harvey Tavern to a Needlewriters event to hear three poets: Jeremy Page, Mark Urbanowicz and Robert Seatter. Enjoyed the readings. Robert's was from The Book of Snow , a beautifully produced book mostly about snow and paper. He read very well too, so I bought the book. Jeremy read a short story which was quite funny, and about life on campus. I noticed a woman in the audience who I thought looked just like Caroline Lucas who, when she left, turned out to have been Caroline Lucas. Also enjoyed hanging out with my poet pals in general, and Robin, Sarah, Stephen ...

Spoke to Mum twice today, and Mason has been released back into the wild, which is very good news. Another very productive day. It felt like some kind of turning point. After several hours, I finished my draft of Sin Cycle and have sent it to Sarah, Robin and Charlotte, who have all said they don't mind having it inflicted on them. After this I sent my children's novel out to two more agents, having had no response from the last one I sent it to. My targets this year to improve my resilience in the face of inertia and my networking. I need continuous but sustainable effort. This made me feel in a good mood. I went for a long walk down to the sea to celebrate, and felt cheered in the sunlight and fresh air. I bought Jacqueline Saphra's book All My Mad Mothers  (she was one of the T.S. Eliot prize readers on Sunday. I have also sent off for the collections from Ocean Vuong and James Sheard). And simply walked home again to do some more work, and then read some of Saphra...

Terrible night's sleep but a productive day. Feeling more positive and purposeful than I have in some time. Lorraine waking up, then once I was thoroughly awake, went to sleep again after I had put my hand on her shoulder, which magically sent her to sleep as it does quite often.  I was in the wide awake club however.  I dropped off for a few minutes just before I got up, but  I woke up shouting No! After a quick nightmare about Calliope leaping at a magpie, which flew high up with her. After this I simply got up instead, looking out of my study window half expecting the scene to enact itself outside my study window. Had a very good day's work, starting very early, which made me feel happier than I have felt for a while. I have also almost finished the group of poems I'm calling Sin Cycle , which I feel quite pleased with. They are freer, more irreverent and funnier than poems I have written before, but no less serious. I spent much of the day happily buffing them up....

Up on with Monday. Talk of Blue Monday again, not that I buy into these things, but with dark grey skies and the rain pouring out of it, I counted my lucky stars that I wasn't pressed in a train somewhere in South London. Hus came around with a friend and pulled up the floorboards in the hallway. Turns out it wasn't as bad as I feared. After a few hours work, they had fixed it. He is coming around tomorrow just to finish off. It did mean the day was full of banging and crashing which didn't help my concentration any. At one point they left to buy wood, and Calliope of course dived into the hole and disappeared for quite a while, leaving me to picture her being boarded in. But she emerged covered in dust some time later. I continued the Great Sort Out , and going through various files and throwing stuff out, and tidying cupboards. It feels quite good. Also working on poems and having a long cold look at all my current activities. I spoke to Mum too, and Mas is still in h...

Got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning, and felt strangely grumpy all day, despite having lots of nice things to do. I phoned mum, and then got dressed. Lorraine and I walked down to Cote for lunch.  Lucky Lorraine had to endure a bout of me moaning about my lack of success in poetry and writing and so on. The usual litany of January stuff from me. However my lovely wife had helped me sort my head out by the time we reached the restaurant. Problem is when I have a large moan I feel much better very quickly, but make everyone else feel horrid. Nevertheless we met Catherine and Tanya, and Guy and Tim. Interesting chats with everyone, including Tanya, who is a big fan of visual art. Was approached by old friend and colleague Spooner too as I ate. Then Lorraine and I grabbed a cab, so I could get home in time to be picked up by Robin to go to the T.S.Eliot award readings. A tricky journey as part of the motorway was closed. However we managed to get to the South Bank i...

Lorraine and I sloped off to Sole Sister's this morning to get our feet serviced. A nice guy sorting my plates of meat out, buffing them and getting rid of excess skin and sorting my bruised nail out and my slightly ingrowing big toenails. They almost looked like a real boy's feet at the end of it. Then we mooched about five ways briefly, and bought some vegetables and looked in other shops. Spoke to Mum, and Mas is still in hospital for tests, but is bored and wants to go home all the time. Then we took lots of stuff to Oxfam, me loads of books, and we also got rid of a few other bits. It is what is known in Kenny Towers as a house poo. Not necessarily pleasant, but everything feels a good deal better afterwards. Then back home, and Lorraine did some epic cooking of biryani and other lovely side dishes, and I helped where I could. Suddenly feeling really sleepy and tired, and dozed for ten minutes as Lorraine worked. Soon Anton, Anne, Klaudia and Oskar came aroun...

Mason still in hospital. Otherwise a better day for me. Doing mind maps and just generally taking a helicopter view of my activities. In the afternoon, I had a quick chat with Sonia, who said she noticed with approval how much tidier my study was, I walked it town and sat in Starbucks for a bit. For some reason I find this an excellent place to think and work, as do many others. It is partly the place's blandness. Also I think its position. There must be a strange kind of feng shui about being on the corner of two streets, where you can see the world going by. Anyway, I spent quite a bit of time in there working and thinking before I walked home again. When Lorraine arrived home, we zoomed straight out to the Preston Park Tavern for a spot of dinner and a couple of beers. Lorraine had a good day today, with one of her staff writing to her board of governors to say what a good job she was doing. Sloped home early, and boofed happily into the weekend. Below the helpful bland...

Up early but feeling a wee bit jaded after an evening out with Anton. Enjoyed looking out of my window this morning at the mist coming down from the downs, and looking down on the backs of gulls. I wrote to Tracey first thing, but then managed to turn to day into one of those were I manage to drive myself a bit mad, feeling an urgent need to get on with stuff, coupled with an equal and opposite inability to focus, or find any inspiration. Everything I worked on, I made worse. Gah. A kind of frustrating standstill. I enjoyed walking across to Hove to see Janet and Ken, and drink tea and share a couple of brownies. Ken was looking a bit brighter than when I had last seen him. There was a bus there when I left, so I simply jumped on it and returned, and found myself more able to work productively late on than I had all day. Mason kept in hospital, though is not too ill, and was dressed and ready to go when Mum arrived to visit him. Luckily, she persuaded him to stay. A quiet night i...

A brilliant start to the day, with Lorraine bringing me tea in bed. The day became slightly trying due to assorted first world problems not worth reporting. Not making as much progress as I had hoped, although had got a good idea down for a poem. Enjoyed cooking a big vat of turkey and vegetable soup, which I helped myself to liberally for lunch. In the evening out with Anton. I took an extended walk before I met him in the Joker as I'd cooped myself up all day. There have been changes afoot in the world of chilli chicken wings. The purveyors of Woof Woof Wings have moved on from The Joker, to be replaced by another team who also serve chilli chicken wings with a different name. I suspect fowl play. While the new wings were perfectly okay, they were not the same as bone fide woof woofs. We had some grub there, and a couple of refreshing lagers, then at my request, we went back to the Mitre Tavern, a pub in Baker Street. This should be called the Tardis Tavern as it is like going ...

Like a hermit today. All grey outside. After working on some poems first thing, I spent most of the day organising my workspace. The Big Sort Out as I am thinking of it. There is still work to be done, but there are increasing outbreaks of space and order. It feels great, and I feel the clearing out being reflected inside my head.   When in doubt, tidy up, as the Oblique Strategy cards say. Otherwise little to report. I spoke to Janet who said she has long had a 'one in, one out' policy on books, of which she has many. I do frequently refer to my books, but only about twenty percent of them. Many of the others I have carried around in boxes for decades, dormant and never to be read again, quite a few of them yellowed and dusty and bought second hand in the first place. Why are they still in my life? This is not my usual way of thinking about books, but I am finding it very liberating. More than that, I am sieving out nuggets in the rubble. A biblical email from Trace in Ca...

Lorraine off to school, and I started work right away too. First time for a while when I have been able to truly focus on my own work, and I have a huge cloud of things to be done. But I decided to simply do them one by one. Wrote to Richard. Then started read through the Telltale Anthology. Looking at the poems Sarah assembled, some poems I thought weak when we discussed them in December, seemed the strongest this time around. A reminder that submitting work is often just about finding the right reader at the right time. In short, luck. I went for a walk midday, listening to the last of The Third Policeman by Flann O'Brien, which has made me laugh out loud several times. It is one of the best novels I have read, and it sits in my mind somewhere between Samuel Beckett and Dante, but with added hilarity, written in a fluent high style and full of absurdities. I clearly remember being first recommended this book when I was 21. It has taken me till now to do so. It is a masterpiece...

Up fairly early (for us) on a Sunday. A keen cold wind today. Popped around to see Anton and Anne, as it was Anne's birthday, a glass of wine there and a good chat. Then into Sainsbury's to shop. I like shopping with Lorraine. A full trolly makes my lizard brain happy. Maybe this is why I look like Jabba the Hut. Then Lorraine and I sorting things out in our guest rooms, till five thirty, when we popped next door to have a glass of wine with our new neighbours, Philipa and Harvey. We liked them and they have a smiling baby boy called Magnus who, curmudgeon that I am, is utterly sweet. Lorraine, smitten, instantly offered to babysit. Home again, and I called Mum and Lorraine and I sorted our dinner out. A cheery day.

A strong domestic focus today. Lorraine and I enjoyably dragging things about in the house today, and packing things away in the big bedroom. Gradually we are establishing order. A good deal of opening boxes and looking at stuff and deciding its fate or where it should live. Surprisingly time consuming. In the afternoon Carolyn called around, getting set for more travels in Mesoamerica, including taking in Mexico City. She is brave, because she feels trepidation before setting off, but does it anyway.

Lorraine had a vile night's sleep last night, back into the school routine.  I was lucky enough to sleep in till seven, waking up to find the fairies had left me a cup f tea.  Got up and worked on poems, and then took copy comments then simply worked on the job till it was done. When Sonia arrived, she said the living room looked much better now we had moved the futon upstairs. I told her that I was throwing things out, and she told me about a writer who had thrown everything out apart from a desk and his computer. He he lost lots of weight too, she said, looking at me meaningfully. Off for a walk into town this afternoon, where I sold some books and gave others to charity. Enjoying the walk. Home and a bit more tidying and sorting. Spoke to Mum. Then Lorraine home early, and we drove off to collect the wardrobe. We parked up outside and waited for half an hour for the nice man with the van, who had completely forgotten, but came nevertheless after finishing his dinner. ...

Both up at six this morning, as it was Lorraine's first day with children in the school. I had a good day, continuing to ease myself back into productivity, writing two of my new short poems before 8am, which I was rather pleased with, then getting on with some work for Pat and the French Bloke till mid afternoon. Had to summon enthusiasm from the January ether somehow, but once I got going it wasn't too bad, helped by a 45 minute walk at lunchtime to blow off the cobwebs. I cooked for Lorraine and we had a relaxed evening.

Tidied my desk this morning, as a prelude to restarting the year. Begun reorganising books in the house. I am going to weed out books I've not looked at in decades to make room. I've decided it is madness to try and cram increasing numbers of books into your house, when you know in your heart you'll never look at many of them again.  Our chest of drawers delivered early this morning, and taken up to the big bedroom.  Lorraine working at home for a few hours this morning, then left to work at school the day before the children arrive. I took a brief from Pat and the FB on some work for the next few days, and most of the day doing the rather fiddly job. Beth had stayed overnight, zoomed off this morning too. We are all thinking about John as his dad is unwell in hospital.   I found I was not at all in the mood to do work, although I simply got on with it. I think every year should start with a few weeks of getting in the right mood to begin thinking about working, be...

Last day before work drags Lorraine and I off in different directions. So we spent it together zooming about in the teeming rain. We were on a mission to look at wardrobes and a chest of drawers. We went to dozens of places, some far out of town. One place attached to a cattery, which was very bizarre. A small raised pond with enormous koi in it, which momentarily transfixed me. Driving over the downs home, through enormous puddles and the hilltops lost in mist. Went to one new store, which had rather nice furniture. Here we met Dylan's mum Sophie, and had a good chat with her. Young Dylan doing well, and I was very pleased to hear that. Lorraine and I lurking so long in the shop that we were brought coffee. Later, however, we bought a sturdy and newish chest of drawers from a charity shop, and then drove to someone's house on the edge of town and paid a deposit on a lovely wardrobe we will collect on Friday. Wondering if the wardrobe people were Narnian fauns, but I was di...

Monday 1st January 2018. Lorraine and I spent the day happily sealed in our domestic bubble. Breakfast in bed, and hauling things around in the house, such as the futon from downstairs to the big bedroom, which suddenly made our living room seem large and airy. All this seemed to take up lots of time, but we felt happy with ourselves when it was done. Spoke to Mum on FaceTime, and saw some photos Toby had put on Facebook from his trip to Japan. Blue and crisp skies and scenery, as opposed to the overcast skies and steady rain here. Lorraine coming up with another culinary marvel of a cheesy sauce and pasta. We also played a couple of games of scrabble. In the evening we watched a couple of programmes about the rock group Queen. A happy day, if not terribly eventful, for the first of the year. I am feeling lucky and well disposed to life at the moment. I also had a Proustian moment. I opened a bottle of Greene King IPA, a beer I can't remember drinking before, and as I i...