under another sun

Woke up alive, which is nice. I had taken my statin the night before, and so far have experienced no ill effects. Some good writing this morning, in peace as Dan and Greg had finished yesterday, and Lorraine was out for the morning. The sudden sodden whacking of the window cleaner's extendible pole brush kept me on my toes.  I did some decent writing, still fashioning the poetry MS, and then made off to the gym for the third time this week, however after a bit of mooching about with weights I pushed a bit too hard on the cross trainer, and had to sit down after for a bit of a rest. Mooched home, and Lorraine back from seeing her personal trainer. Took a moment for a meditation, and afterwards Lorraine wrote Dwell happily in the present on our blackboard. We started to tidy up a bit, and were distracted by a metallic whacking, which we thought was the builders next door, but it turned out to be the effing evil seagull again, whacking up kibbles from the cat bowls. Rosie called arou...

Greg and Dan finished work. We have our hallway and stairs painted, the dining room and the kitchen, utility room, downstairs toilet. They did a great job, and are lovely people. The hallway and stairs are painted two colours, Autumn Embrace, and Jasmine blush, which are a boldly autumnal orangey brown, and an off white respectively. Zings happily. Did some good writing this morning, while the brothers painted and chatted outside the door. Then was offered some work by the new French Client with Keith, which after chatting to Lorraine I have decided to accept. Turns out to be five days initially and maybe a few smidges afterwards, and will start midweek next week. A bit of a cash won't go amiss and it is only a few days.  I went to the gym at lunchtime, and then in the afternoon, Lorraine and I mooched about Seaford a little, and popped into the Pharmacy, where they suddenly had my statins. Which is good as I want to follow my doctor's advice. And we went into the fabric shop, ...

Lorraine off to Ashford this morning, and I zoomed to Brighton for 12 to get my hair cut by Stacy, to undo the great Seaford hair debacle of a few weeks ago. I confessed my infidelity and promised it would never happen again. Then I mooched back up to the station where I met my old schoolmate Peter Hoibak. Spent the afternoon having a few beers and catching up on the last forty something years. He joined the Police at eighteen and a half, and stayed a policeman until he retired. I found him a lovely man, kind and generous in his ways, and with a hinterland of lots of reading. He loved being a policeman, and wanted to remain a constable, so as not to burden himself with paperwork when he loved the hands on stuff. We had a cheeky in the Nelson on Trafalgar Street, and then repaired to the Basketmakers for a couple of hours which was in one of its rare quiet phases. We will certainly meet again. Trained home and went to the pharmacy to collect my drugs -- all except for the new ones they ...

Up early and breakfast with Sian, then a frenzied bed business of dismantling the bed in the guest room, which Beth and James were zooming round with a man with a van to take to their flat, and replace it with my old one, which Beth had. The man with a van was a great character, extremely helpful and we all felt we knew his life story by the time the beds had been swapped fully dismantled and swapped. Everyone got involved. Lorraine greatly admiring of his power tool which she made me photograph so she can buy one in future. I told him it was a chick magnet. A relaxed time lazing in the back garden and chatting with Sian about all manner of things before she set off back to London. I walked her to the station. Lorraine and I very fond of her. Then preparing for another week of Greg and Dan coming to paint and decorate. Below and significant power tool, excellent for screwing and unscrewing things and an obvious chick magnet.

Up earlyish and off to Seaford Station where we met our new friend Delores, and zoomed off to Brighton to see the Van Gough live experience in the Brighton Dome.  Van Gough images projected onto vast screens. Sometimes these had been animated. Sometimes the crows flapped  or a windmill turned or cherry blossom fell or, worse, a train chugging along a track. Also irritating was how the images had been cut to fit the music, so that the music was prioritised and not the visual work. Erik Satie being used twice (I love me a bit of Satie) and a bit of Japanese music to hamfistedly underline the cherry blossom picture and his copies of Japanese prints. Also a few plonking computer generated stars before his pictures with stars in, and film of corn to remind us what the Cornfield with Crows was about and so on. While it was lovely to be immersed by his images, I found the experience annoying. Upstairs section was weak. A few artificial sunflowers in an infinity room of mirrors, and a...

Up early and off to Ashford today to see Pat and Maureen with Lorraine. Also Claudia, Lorraine and (surprisingly, by extension, my niece) was over from Finland for work. She added time on to see Pat and Maureen. I am very fond of Claudia. She is a ray of sunshine, she gave us a present of Finnish sweets she called marmalades and Lorraine gave her some earrings she had bought. Claudia and I walked off to the fish and chip shop for Pat and Maureen and went for a short walk while waiting for the fish and chips. So much has happened in recent years. I was impressed to learn she is now an engineer, designing systems that moisturise the paper going through mills so that they perform better as cardboard. She told me that her secret was that she was lazy, and so liked to find the simplest way to do things. But she is clearly a bit of a boffin, and is sent by her company to other countries because of her excellent English. She is living with her partner Joonas, and Kasper his little boy, and w...

Up early and working on my poetry manuscript. I have had a good couple of days on this, which is very pleasing. Broke off for a cup of tea with Keith and caught up. He is very worried that everything seems so quiet on the work front. Lorraine had to zoom off to the opticians but was back in 25 minutes.  Greg and Dan hard at work and the red dining room, and the blue and white of the kitchen vast improvements. Lorraine and I also chose colours for the hallway, two colours called Jasmine Blush and Autumn Embrace... which is a bold autumnal orange below the dado rail. Colour is not to be shied away from and Lorraine and I are feeling really happy with bold choices. I mooched off to the Brewers the paint shop and got some tester paints (or tasters as Lorraine keeps calling them) and we slapped these onto sheets of paper and held them up in the right places. A bit of light gardening in the afternoon. Soberingly, I heard from the excellent new doctor who recommended I go on low dose of s...

Some good writing this morning, focusing on one thing... The poetry MS. Dan and Greg back today, and working hard. Lovely to see the detested mushroom pinky green wallpaper disappearing. Then to the gym again this afternoon and eating healthily. Gull wars continue, this bugger has been standing on our skylight stamping his feet again, which sounds like a drum being hit. I snapped him from below. I am pleased with this photo of a herring gull's feet. 

Lorraine and I discussing colours this morning. Our chosen off white for the kitchen is coming out a bit mauve and nobody wants that. Irritable morning, disrupted by having to clear up for the brothers to continue their decorating, then having to go off for a blood test, where the medical assistant told me that he'd lived in Seaford as a child but hated it as a teenager as there was nothing to do. Greg and Dan did not return due to reasons and say the quote underestimated the amount of work, so we are adjusting our ask a bit.  Straight to the gym from the surgery, where I did a fairly (for me) substantial workout which got the grrrrs out. I am pressing the refresh button on my own health, as I am too fat at the moment, and would, on balance, prefer to continue living for a bit longer. Listening as I mooched to a BBC series of podcasts called Marianna in Conspiracyland where the BBC's misinformation correspondent talks to lots of lunatics about their conspiracies and their dang...

After a poor night's sleep, up to see Mum and Mas this morning, reading and writing on the trains, including  Bold Move , my Dr Luana Marques. She describes how our response to anxiety can go three ways, fight, flight or freeze. People either react immediately or angrily, the deny the problem and bury themselves in everything that isn't the actually stressful thing, or they freeze in place, staying in the job or relationship or other situation that is unsatisfactory.  I have definitely frozen before, when two of personal values meet head on, such as loyalty and being true to yourself for example in a relationship. Arranged to meet my old school friend Peter Hoibak in Brighton next week, for a drink after 40 years.   Did some of my own writing in short burst that I was pleased with on the train.  Met Mum and Mas in the Jolly Badger, arriving at exactly the same time as them. I chose a good meal, with lots of salad, some lean chicken and a bit rice, washed down with a ...

Sunny at first, with the bloody seagull tapping on the kitchen door again. I leant out of the window and photographed it doing so. But the big thing today was... Rain. Rain at last falling on Seaford this afternoon, and fairly heavily too. We had a garden morning, potting up tomatoes, chilies and so on.  Lorraine drove some cardboard off to the nearby recycling, and I floated about in the back garden for a few minutes just soaking up (ahem) the experience of rain. Petrichor, I learned recently, is the word for the pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after long heat. And there was a sense of the garden sighing with relief. The fish pond, which had been making me feel anxious because its level was so low, despite sneaking buckets of water into it, was replenished by a good amount too.  Was contacted by an old school friend today, Peter Hoibak, out of the blue for the first time in over forty years -- via his wife's linked in account. A pleasant surprise. I guess we ar...

The Tobster's birthday today. A few messages, he and Romy, and Gillian and Momoyo were chilling in Harlem, which was rather cool. Another scorching day. A quick chat with Mum before she made off to the Waggon and Horses to meet  Robert. Breakfast, and I had a bit of a play on my guitar, which I've not done for ages. Lorraine pampering herself. Anton arrived, and we had a happy afternoon sitting in the garden under the sunshade playing games of bones. He also brought a more complex came to play with Lorraine with geisha girls on it... No idea.  I was happily tending to my barbie, sipping a cold one every now and then, and did a beer can chicken, where you push a small beer can up into the chicken, so it cooks with a tasty succulence. I think you are supposed to cook it perched on top of the can, but mine fell over, still the can was wedged into it so all well.  We invented the notion of PPH, pints per hour.  I kept to a low PPH as Lorraine and I were going out tonight...

Friday, clearing up after the liveliness of yesterday, and feeling a bit sadder and wiser after feeling overly refreshed yesterday. Lorraine off to her personal trainer. I made off to meet Yvonne for a coffee and a gossip in Pomegranate. At one point this morning, I called Brian from the kitchen and he didn't respond at all, until I walked out beside him. Lorraine and I did some tests, and it became clear that the poor thing has become deaf. Suddenly some of his behaviours make sense in retrospect. Including when he walks around the house with a catnip fish in his mouth, miaowing trying to find us, and we yell Brian! at him to make him stop. And recently when he was being chattered at by Magpies, he seemed utterly oblivious. Luckily he seems perfectly happy still as far as we can tell.  Otherwise a pretty chilled day, very hot and sipping mineral water. I wrote poems sitting outside with Lorraine, and then we did some assorted light gardening, and then had what seemed to be a much ...

Writing a quick blurb for the Children's episode of the podcast, and kept myself busy this morning. I had a doctor's appointment. As I was making a new start with a new doctor, I had made an appointment to explained about my white coat syndrome. I always feel super stressed by having my blood pressure taken, and so the readings they have are of me being very stressed indeed. I took Lorraine as a character witness to assure them I wasn't a complete nutcase. Luckily my new doctor listened brilliantly, was deeply reassuring, explained that we are going to do another 24 hour test, like the two I've had already (both showed my blood pressure was okay) and do some tests to keep an eye on everything, now that I am over 60. She was clear, proactive and positive. Best doctor conversation I can remember having. Brilliant. Felt rather pleased with myself afterwards for grasping this particular nettle. Lorraine and I went shopping in preparation for Innis and Rosie coming round, wi...

Another scorcher. Because of the climate crisis, and as the owner of a garden, enjoy this hot weather is a mixed blessing. I am getting daily emails from South East Water urging me to not use water. It's a drought, and there is no sign of rain. Up early and a quick edit on the new episode, and then some good writing. Much of the latest episode is about poetry for children. Suddenly I was hit by the idea that a couple of my poems, that I have never satisfactorily finished, were actually poems for kids. Being someone who has written children's fiction and poetry it has simply never occurred to me to write poetry for children. This reframing of what I had done, allowed me to complete two poems in a matter of two hours, and left time for struggling with my other website and looking at something for one of my French client, for a non-chargeable five minutes.   Lorraine went off to see an old work pal who lives around the corner, called Helen, who has just retired too, and they had ...

Another day without a cloud in the sky. Recording with Robin this morning, and then doing my writing, and also thinking about revamping my other site and it is tired and not simple enough.  Lorraine drove off to the gym, but events conspired against her, and she got stuck in assorted traffic jams and had to call it off, and returned back via the garden centre.  In the afternoon, I went to Newhaven by train to a place called Bodyhaven, where Lorraine had made an appointment for me to have a massage. The charming owner of the business, Chi, saw a spider on the floor, and pointed to it in horror. Spider, she said handing me a glass and a piece of card. I wrangled it, put it  outside, but it was a bit of an icebreaker. Excellent massage, even though my back was rigid to begin with.  Lorraine met me outside Newhaven station, and we walked home through the remains of Tide Mills and along the seafront, pausing in the heat to eat ice cream and a lemonade in the sailing club....

A bad night's sleep, but I enjoyed hearing thunder rumbling in from the Channel, and the brief downpour in the middle of the night -- the first rain of any kind for over a month. The force of it hit further East however, as the garden... It's all about the garden... Could have done with a very long downpour.   We got up early, and Seaford Head was hidden in mist. Lorraine drove off at eight to Ashford for a day of busyness with Pat and Maureen. It seems Lorraine's niece Claudia is in the UK and will be coming down to see Pat and Maureen soon. I hope we get to see her too, she is lovely. I did some recording with Robin, although by the end of the day it was clear one of the bits wasn't good enough so we will have to redo it tomorrow. Also I did some writing for a bit, but wasn't on top form due to the absence of sleep. Off to the gym at lunchtime, listening to Dr Luana Marques read her audiobook Bold Move, a 3-Step Plan to Turn Anxiety into Power -- this is based on ...

Lorraine and I had a happy morning pottering about, and finalising the colour choices, as it seems decorators might be arriving soon. Now there is a chance of it actually happening, making the choices is fun, and it took a lot of discussing and using the dulux visualiser app, which is quite handy. Clearing up after the barbecue last night, and couldn't find the brush I use to clean the barbecue. Later Lorraine found it on the lawn, clearly a fox had been playing with it. Later the war against seagulls escalated badly. A seagull broke in through an open window into the kitchen. I went to step inside the house from outside, and saw through the closed door a seagull sitting on the kitchen surface, having been digging about in the cat biscuits. I opened the door, and it blundered out again. A seagull standing inside your kitchen looks much larger, and there is something quite disturbing about birds indoors -- an image I have used in a couple of my poems. Indolent this afternoon, dozing...

A cheery day. Up fairly early for a Saturday. I went to the gym this morning, and on my return found Lorraine, Beth and her old pal Laura were sitting under the umbrella outside in the sun, sipping iced coffees. We'd not seen Laura for ages, and it was good to see her, especially as she is now expecting a baby. She was looking very good on it, but Laura, who is a funny girl like Beth, putting it down to vomiting so badly the first few weeks, that she lost loads of weight. Beth enjoying a free weekend as James was watching motor racing on the continent.   After I had a shower, we had some light snacks of Lorraine's deliciously lemony home made hummus and things like carrot sticks, and felt very virtuous. In the afternoon, after a spot of meditation, Lorraine and I got ready for Patrick and Adele to come around. I decided to barbecue as in this weather it is a winner. Cooked chicken with limes in, and a few sausages and Morrisons Finest Scotch beef burgers, onto which I melted Mo...

I finished the first draft of my new short story currently called  Kansas , this morning. I will let it steep in its own juices for a week or so before returning to it, to see if it's any good. A sense that I had accomplished something this week at least, and a new style for me too, and involving learning a little about what Kansas territory was like in 1820, and its geography. I have never been to Kansas. I learned about the Louisiana Purchase or 1805 too, when the new US bought a humongous swathe of land from the French, including what was to become the state of Kansas. I don't know much about US history.  A cheeky beer this evening with Steve in the Boot, fresh from another week of exam invigilation and in need of a quaff of beer. Not seen him for a bit as he had been busy doing musical stuff among other things. We swapped notes on the Shakespeare, as he had gone to see it too. Lorraine came a little later, having had an excellent massage in Newhaven which left her feeling ...

An excellent morning's writing today, and a happy afternoon pottering about with Lorraine, doing a bit of gardening, and pouring buckets of our remaining rainwater into the fishpond which has evaporated lots due to the strong wind and cloudless skies. A day for talking about life and meditation. I have had a few 'ah-hah!' moments about the mental ruts I have found myself in recently, and am now able to find ways of escaping them. I feel happier than I have felt for some time. We have some peas growing, which Lorraine was very excited about.  In the evening, we took ourselves off to the Little Theatre in Seaford and saw a local production of Twelfth Night. We met Adele and Patrick there, and members of Lorraine's cheery book group including Kate and Delores who I have met before. I enjoyed it enormously, and felt absolutely refreshed in the cascade of beautiful and funny language. Every line a zinger. The direction fairly good too, and the actors did well enough. I don...

Up and writing my new story, Kansas, again. Then off to the gym at lunchtime for a brief workout. Listening for a bit to the book about Anxiety, which is based on CBT, and in thinking about it found several mental pennies falling into place. It was a weirdly exhilarating feeling. Shortly after I got home from the gym, Lorraine collected Beth this afternoon and they drove off to Basingstoke to see Beth's granny Glenys who is in hospital having been a cause of concern the family. I have met Glenys a few times and have always been struck by what a quiet force for good she is.  Hopped on a train, after a lengthy search outside for Brian, and finding him in our lounge,  and got off at London Road to meet Anton in The Signalman. After saying howdy to Anton, I sauntered inside to the bar and they had a help yourself jug of water there, which I drank and had a protracted bout of choking. 'That's what you get when you drink water,, said the young guy next to me. Had a good time bask...

Up and writing fairly early this morning. Lorraine up too, to get ready to go off to her personal trainer. I wrote more of my short story, Kansas . Enjoying writing it a good deal, and it necessitation the learning of some of the history of Kansas, as well as dipping back into Lyrical Ballads by Coleridge and Wordsworth. Broke off to have a cuppa with Keith. and we discussed how the agency world is quite quiet right now, which of course suits me. Then more writing. Lorraine back, having been worked hard. She went to the shower, I meanwhile began to hear a seagull kerfuffle, and discovered two seagulls polishing off what remained of the cat food in our kitchen. These fiends I shooed out -- they left fairly reluctantly I must say. Later, when Lorraine and I were taking Calliope to the Top Cats at Patcham, they protested at their banishment by shitting on the garden furniture.    We had lunch and discussed decorators, and then did a meditation session.  And gave Calliope a ...

Monday morning, and up with the sparrows. I have had lots of troubling dreams lately, in dark cities, trying to get somewhere and being lost. Last night's episode was vaguely connected with University and going back to it again, to do better at my studies this time. A day of mothers... Lorraine off to Ashford to see Maureen and Pat, and me up to Elstree and the Waggon and Horses to meet Mum and Mas.  My journey there good, and passed in a fraction. I am listening to an audiobook about anxiety at the moment, called Bold Move, A 3-step plan to turn anxiety into Power, by Dr Luana Marques, who reads it in a charming Brazilian accent. Although it is quite basic and plods along quite slowly, the book is thorough and excellent. I wish there were books like this when I was in my twenties and needed advice. Now they serve as a refresher of good practice, and are based on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Off at Elstree and Borehamwood, and scampered off to meet Mum and Mas, whose sporty car was...

A beautiful Sunday, with a Spitfire blue sky. We simply spent doing light gardening, including some watering then sprawling about on our garden furniture. Just lovely to be relaxing in the sun, and it genuinely felt as if we were on holiday. Talked to Mum and Mas. Several times today we saw a Spitfire, sometimes with an accompanying light aircraft which I think is filming it, do a Victory roll over the cliffs. There is a business nearby ( this one I think ) where people can be flown alongside a Spitfire above the white cliffs, and take all the photographs and film you want. On one occasion I saw there were two Spitfires and a light aircraft. The sound of the aircraft's Merlin engine is so distinct it alerts you to look up. Calliope rushed a seagull at one point but luckily for her, didn't catch it.    A few random snaps of the back garden.  One looking back at the house from over the raised beds, the summer house with Calliope, and a shot into the glasshouse, with Lorrain...

Lorraine off to meet Adele for coffee, I meanwhile continued writing my new short story, which for all kinds of complicated reasons is called Kansas . Writing in flow state. There is nothing like it.  Also firming up two potential guests for the podcast. In the afternoon we did some gardening together, and in the evening we simply took ourselves out for a curry in Seaford in a recently opened restaurant called Spice Village . This was fairly empty, but was the best Indian food I'd had in Seaford washed down with the obligatory bottles of Cobra beer. I'd revisit without a qualm. We were put in a little booth, which was nice as the place lacked a bit of atmosphere but the friendliness of the staff certainly ensured a cheery time.  Then we walked home along by the sea just after the sea had set. A full pink moon hanging in the air next to Seaford Head, and looking back towards Newhaven the sea was lined with anglers. Quite magical.

I was doing some freelance work with Gabriel one of my French clients again this morning. This done by one o'clock, however. Lorraine busy in the house and garden, a quick bite to eat before Yvonne arrived for coffee. We sat outside chatting for a couple of hours. I liked it when she described having a bald patch as having an egg in the nest. We also took Yvonne on a full guided tour of the garden, and she brought us a cutting of a succulent. Once she left, Lorraine and I did our meditation and sat quietly for twenty minutes. Later, Robin and Nick collected us to drive us into Brighton along the coast road (this being a train strike day) where Robin was reading with a few other Frogmore stalwarts. An enjoyable enough evening, and a good opportunity for me to say hello to a few people, chiefly a delightfully sweary Anne Perrin.  The readings ranged from stuff I hated and stuff I liked a good deal, which is what you'd want really. I thought Robin's reading was excellent, and ...

Spent much of the day doing some freelance work, which although fairly straightforward I managed to turn into a bit of an ordeal for myself. This particular client, although a lovely bloke, is a goalpost mover, which means you never feel certain what you are doing is right.   Paused for meditation which I enjoyed. Every time we meditation, a huge fly seems to enter the room, which of course being in a meditative frame of mind we just accept. Read about a book about turning anxiety into power, which I downloaded as an audiobook.  And then went late to the gym with Lorraine. Returned and did some writing of my own. Between the gym and the meditation and being with Lorraine, my head felt in a creative space.