under another sun

Today had a tricky start, feeling apprehensive about the new job. Hammering rain first thing, which made me pleased I was working from home. Breakfast: a boiled egg and the a slice of the most holed chewy brown loaf I have ever seen. Sat at my desk an hour or so before the first meeting to read through the material I had been sent, at 8 o'clock the central part of my vision went to be replaced by spangles. A migraine. Luckily I sat listening to a meditation tape, and the spangling had passed ten minutes before I was to dial in. These days the headache component to my migraine is just at basic headache level, so I could press on, albeit in a wussed out enervated way. Working with Fernanda, who is a lovely Brazilian woman who I have worked with before, and some other pleasant folks. Yet another transatlantic pitch. I can't seem to escape them. Working with Fernando -- also Brazilian but based in Lisbon. Keith messaged saying last weeks agency are wondering if I would be free to w...

A Sunday. Lorraine playing Star Dew Valley, I did some podcast editing and worked a little on a new poem, and read bits. Beth called around this afternoon, to hang out for a while before going off to London to see Shag Married Annoyed , a show that started with a podcast. Betty's new home buying seems to be progressing well.  Up to the hill fort this afternoon, listening to Bob Mortimer read his touching and funny book on my iPhone. Then home to collect Lorraine for another short stroll. Due to fuel supply chain problems, caused by Brexit, people have been panic buying petrol. Teachers are struggling to get into school tomorrow, and Lorraine will have to pick up one of them en route tomorrow. Luckily she filled her tank last week. Phoned Mum and Mas who had both their Covid booster and flu jabs yesterday. An hour before I called Mum had made Mas take his daily short constitutional, but his legs buckled and kindly neighbours a couple of doors down had to help him back. We went throu...

Happy to have a nice relaxed breakfast with Lorraine, and agreed to a de-frazzling day. Lorraine playing Star Dew Valley happily for much of the day. I prepped and conducted a podcast interview with a promising young poet, Ashanti Anderson from New Orleans, which we did at 4pm. I really enjoyed chatting to her -- her work has some extraordinary conceptual set-ups, such as words running though the mind of someone who has just been decapitated. Extraordinary.  Felt good to be interviewing again, and meeting someone under other circumstances I would have never have spoken to. Lorraine and I had a cheeky walk around Blaker's Park afterwards, and she made one of her exceptional fish pies. All well. Watched another episode of The Man in the High Castle, which is tense but good. Otherwise, not huge amounts to report. Enjoying more of the Bob Mortimer book, And Away . Plus Alireza Abiz's poetry collection. Getting Saturday emails from people in the US about the job I am not going to be...

Got up and wrote some of my own stuff for  a while -- a new poem in the my new 'unfinest hour' style -- where I write poems in a way that does me no credit as a human being, but are at least honest.  I wasn't working, today, but the day managed to be draining and busy. Talking to Keith, accepting next week's job (now a week and a half) via YunoJuno (a sort of portal some agencies like to work through) having to renew business insurance, meeting Robin and discussing the podcast and doing some recording, but also just chatting and generally sympathising with one another about the lot of the poet. A bit stressed as the people in the US I have been working for with Keith in the last two weeks, announced they wanted us to continue next week. I have taken another job, as they hadn't booked me, however.   A walk later in the afternoon, up to the hill fort listening to Bob Mortimer's memoir, called And Away , which is warm and amusing. Lorraine home reasonably early, an...

In the night I had woken up at two and eventually got up and wrote, finally drifting off to sleep again at about five. Otherwise, a unpleasant day, not helped by Keith flying into paroxysms of rage. I worry about him sometimes. It all ending with a two hour presentation to the US last thing. Our work, however, was well received, so all's well that ends well.    Once the blowharding was done, the day improved drastically. I went to the Park View with Sam, and sat with him having a nice chat about things from fruity beers to species of logic systems. He is very good company. Ended up having a bite before I left Sam to  it while I sat with Lorraine and watched some Frasiers.   Alireza Abiz sent me his collection, with a kind inscription to me. I hope to interview him again soon about his own work this time.

Lorraine working from home this morning, and Beth came too. They sat either side of the dining table, Beth doing tax stuff, and Lorraine doing school stuff, before she nipped off. Nice to chat to Betty who is very excited about the offer on a flat with James being accepted. With any luck she and James will be home owners before long.  Dusty Dolls doing the cleaning which was great. Because there are two dolls, they are all done and dusted in an hour and a half.  All day with Keith again making decent progress, and no presentations or meetings today which made things easier. I had time for a walk after work too. Enjoyed being up on the hill fort again, after having felt a bit drained until today from whatever bug it was I had last weekend. A beauty of a day, and the Autumn equinox with the sun nudging into the constellation of Libra this evening. These months till Christmas are my favourite of the year.   Sun from the hill fort, glistening on the distant sea.

Crawled out of bed this morning, feeling about 70% better. Autumn in the air when I kissed Lorraine goodbye at the door, a two jumper day at my desk. One of those days that should have been easy, but ended up becoming heavy going. Keith kept saying he was not on top form, and we ground to a halt after about seven hours. He texted me later saying he was exhausted. A full moon tonight, and maybe it is just some Welsh werewolf business. I hope he recovers otherwise the next few days will be tricky for me. Working on concepts for a new heart pill.  We did have a laugh thinking about the concepts you would present if you wanted to never work in the industry again. Keith spent some a few minutes putting the name of the pharma brand into Lord of the Rings or graffiti fonts, while I proposed an appalling blackface execution. Two short walks around the block, which felt okay, but I was drained after work. Chatted with Mum, then a bit of podcast admin setting up an interview with a US poet f...

Feeling under the weather this weekend: a mild temperature, sore throat, headache and general lifelessness. As these are all symptoms of Covid after a double jab, and I had been training up to London and back earlier in the week, and had gone to the gym, I did a precautionary PCR test, Lorraine driving us through a carpark at Sussex University, we got the results early the next morning: both negative. Those drive through places really well organised, cheerful and strangely reassuring.  Lorraine did everything alone on Saturday, while I mainly lurked in bed. She took the cats to the vets for their yearly M.O.C. ministry of cats checkup, all basically okay. She also had an excellent haircut, arriving home with her hair long and flicking out.  Jade back to Scotland on Sunday morning. She and Sam seemed to have great time together. I felt hadn't had much time to chat to her. I delved back into reading about Emily Carr the Canadian painter. I had taken Janet's books on the subject ...

Felling grumpy this morning, epitomised by fox crap on the doorstep, which Lorraine and I washed off before she went to school.  A draining day feeling exhausted by a painful throat. Worked for at least ten hours. But what Keith and I had done went down well when we finally presented it.  Feeling unwell, with a painful throat. Lorraine home unusually early for her. I was finally done by six thirty.  Jade arrived late in the afternoon, a bundle of energy and cheer. Had curry, which Sam collected. Repaired quickly to the sofa afterwards. We all watched Frasier. Then Lorraine and I crept gratefully off to bed, full of curry and thanking our lucky stars for the weekend.

Up to that London today, to see Mum and Mas. Pouring with rain first thing in Brighton. Remembered my old ninja travelling ways and travelled faux first to the smoke. North London looking a bit grey and soulless from the Mill Hill train.   Jumped on a bus there, however, and was soon at Mum and Mason's house. Was the first time I had worn my new waterproof I bought in Monmouth and it worked a treat.  Once at Mum's soon off in the car driving through large puddles to the Waggon & Horses for a lunchtime bite and a couple of drinks. The staff are very sweet and friendly to Mum and Mas there, packaging up Mason's monster omelette to take away afterwards, he having eaten only half. Had a nice time chatting with them over a beer, which this time was mercifully cold. Mas talking about having known Elizabeth Taylor when he was at school. Home again, and Mum and I looked at some old photos before she walked with me a little way back towards Mill Hill.  She was talking about he...

Monday brought the promise of more freelance work later this week, quick chat with Keith. Feel stressed, by the pressing stuff of my own. Continued to buff up the the first draft of new poem I wrote on Friday. It's about reading. Off to the gym. More energy after yesterday's idleness. Listened to more of my history of English podcasts as I trundled and lifted weights for bird-boned waifs. I rediscovered the machine, which they had put in a different place, that does the big muscle in your stomach and did that more persistently due to my ongoing battle with ventripotence. 

Revelling in bone idleness today. Lorraine and I simply had a sofa day. I sat with Lorraine and she showed me her game in great detail today. It is very involved and absorbing, and I can see why she loves it, essentially she is running an ever expanding farm with all kinds of livestock and crops, and produce. Every day fruit must be picked, eggs collected, ducks loved, outhouses to be built, ponds to be stocked (she has an anchovy pond, which is a new one) visits to the local village for supplies, and so on its like a full time virtual business.  Beth's car wouldn't start today, so lots of advice sought from Lorraine.  I did a bit of dozing, and read a couple of horror inflected stories by Daphne Du Maurier, Don't Look Now , and Not After Midnight , both excellently done. Can't help remembering my grandmother smoking Du Maurier cigs though. There was a huge house in Hampstead the Du Maurier family lived in, and I think that may have been why she thought them stylish. A ...

Sam off today with Beth and James to see Glenice, Lorraine and I had a spontaneous kind of day. A spot of writing, as Lorraine ran her Star Dew Valley farm, then we wandered into town in the afternoon where I bought, after trying lots of shoes that didn't spark joy, a pair of winter shoes, from Schuh. A nice young guy helping us, I tried on a pair of Doc Martens, but it reminded me of kind of people who used to wear them in the 70s. I bought a clean, simple pair of brown shoes at a decent price. Picked up a pair of Sam's expensive boots from a cobbler at the bottom of the Laines, which were as good as new.    Lorraine and I made our way down to the Bottom's Rest and had a beer there, and were joined by Innis and Rosie, and we had some food. A cheery interlude of much chat. On the way home we were waiting for a bus (but ended up catching a taxi) Lorraine had been absentmindedly stroking my arm. A man appeared and asked how long we had been married, and said it was lovely to ...

A good start this morning, wrote a new short poem, which for better or worse arrived fully formed. I normally scorn the idea of writing prompts, but I was thumbing through my lemon yellow notebook of bits I sometimes jot down out of books, and was sparked by something I'd copied in there by Roland Barthes. Chatted to Keith for an hour today, talking about business and doing a bit of planning, and a bit of gossip.  Had a chat with Mum today, and will migrate north next week for a day to see her. Then I mooched off to the gym, clambered onto the cross trainer for the third time this week, but soon felt rather bushed and cut the session a bit short. In fact I suddenly realised I was feeling rather tired. Walked back across Preston Park, I was thumbing my phone for the next podcast but then women began screaming and shouting made me look up to see chaotic scenes involving four women and as many dogs. One woman's dog had seized a smaller one and was savaging it. As I made my way tow...

A determinedly productive day, wrote lots of stuff for the planet poetry website, as my creative juices weren't flowing abundantly. Went for a walk in up and around the hill fort. Nice to be there, and feeling quite free again. Noticing the first autumnal tawnies and reds singing out of the undergrowth. Took some snaps. Glowing black and white, and a magpie, the second one just out of shot.

Got the morning started with some good poetry time, and may have finished my first ever villanelle, its repetitive form working well with my subject matter which was about walking around the hill fort wall. Felt powerfully antsy after a while.  Took myself off to the gym, then had to return when I reached the park, as I had no facemark. Nobody wears facemasks in the gym, but it was empty enough to have lots of space around me. It was good for mind and body. Also I was listening to the History of English podcast, by Kevin Stroud, which I have done for a year or so. It really is excellent, and relentlessly thorough. Food shopping then home again, sauntering across the park. Back to work, although focus was hard to come by today. Reading Rachel Boast's book Hotel Raphae l, which hasn't yet gripped me in the way that Void Studies did. There are two pages at the back of Hotel Raphael called   Reading | Viewing , which has all her intertextual references. Lots of Akhmatova, who I l...

To work this morning, writing well I think. Beth dropped in for a cup of coffee with me this morning, Anton called.  In the afternoon I went for a walk and threading through the woods, a boxer type dog ran up to me, and landed heavily with its front paws on my groin. As I doubled over it got my hand in its mouth and I felt its teeth. The owner carried on blithely speaking on her phone, and didn't apologise. I told her angrily to control her dog, but she ignored me. Rude. I began counting dogs and people was I walked, and there were more dogs than people, and they were all off lead. I am neutral about dogs, but it's reasonable surely to expect the owners to exercise some control over them.

Happy Monday. Mercifully another week to regroup, feeling hollow and wrung out. But I got up with Lorraine, off to school with live kids in today, and got to work on poems and had a pretty great first few hours. Whipped a start of a poem into a near finished unrhymed sonnet, and began work on another in similar form. They belong to the difficult honesty category.  Also did some work for the planet poetry website. After careful thought, I have decided to go back to the gym. I figure that there are many threats to the health of an old geezer like me, and the 'rona is just one of them. I need to keep fit. Also I was sent a photo by SJB of myself last week, looking like a Jabba the Hut, and it shook me to the core. Crept in trepidatiously, already changed, and hefted up onto a cross trainer for half an hour on a low setting, and then mucked about with some weights on low weights for a bit. Slunk out again, between all the springy gym bunnies.

Now that the schools are going back, the weather was warm and sunny. After Lorraine had eaten breakfast with Sam, I went off a-foraging. Armed with Tupperware, I went to the first of the places I identified the day before -- but did not need to go further afield, as I managed to get just over a kilo of blackberries from the first of my sites. Blackberries accomplished I found the crab apple tree on the side of the hill, and picked up early fallen but fine apples. Their sourness shrivels your face into a repulsive puckering but they are bursting with apple flavour.  Walking home I thought how a small but judicious addition or small crab apple pieces would add not only pectin, but a welcome note of tartness to the sweet niceness of the blackberry. This would be a jam that didn't mutter hi to you as you ate it, but bellow a full blown Howdy ! on your tastebuds .    As I approached home, I noticed how tingly my hands were with all the nettle stings on my hands, not to mentio...

I cooked breakfast, which involved frying two eggs which stuck to the bottom of the pan so badly that when I tried to flip them they completely disintegrated. Lorraine told me off for stabbing the eggs with the spatula in fury. After, we pottered briefly in the garden, and some tall plants that had been disturbing Lorraine for weeks, and were quietly removed. We also picked two or three more little sun gold tomatoes eaten whole as a small explosion of niceness.  Took myself for a long walk which greatly improved my mood. Everywhere I went there were blackberry bushes groaning with berries. The air hazy towards the sea. A lovely warm day, and I felt freer than I had felt for ages. Also listening to the book The World Before Us, by Tom Higham , which as it is about paleoanthropology, a subject I love boning up on.   In the evening, Lorraine and I walked down to the Hampton, and had some Indian streetfood with Anton, as part two of Anton's birthday. Very busy though, and stressfu...

Finally able to focus on my writing this morning. Then off to Lewes to meet up with Robin, Charlotte, Stephen, SJB and Lou, and Antony Mair among others for the Finished Creatures reading, held at the Depot in Lewes. I got to meet Jan Heritage for the first time, and was chatting with a nice poet from Ealing called Oliver Comins. Lots of good poems read from the new issue. When it came to it I forgot even to say my name, nor plug Planet Poetry and read one by Tess Jolly, whose work I like lots, and then my Mezquita de Cordoba. Sarah and Lou making me laugh both being in the same issue and writing about the same subject, without knowing the other had done so.  Interestingly, Jan saying she had broken her own rule in publishing my poem, as she doesn't like printing the word God with a capital letter.  It was a gorgeous day, and it was great fun to do some poetry, and then sit in the sun chatting with poet pals afterwards. Felt like a holiday suddenly, and Friday afternoons ...

A curiously frustrating day, feeling stressed and unable to make progress in any direction.  Anton and I investigated the walking around Guernsey plan but the price the Barbarie were charging was too hefty so we have parked that for the time being. Also plane fares start at a very reasonable £59 each way, but as soon as you want to take a small suitcase with you, you can expect to pay an extra sixty quid for the round trip. Had another go at sorting out the Natwestisögur but failed. Was told my existing complaints person would get back to me.  Anton and Bob's birthdays today. I sent fond messages to Bob, and in the evening Lorraine, Sam and I made off down to the Shahi to have a celebratory curry with Anton, Anne, Klaudia and Oskar. A cheery evening, Anton on good form. We had got him a historical print of a map of Poland when we were in Hay on Wye.  Meanwhile young Klaudia very businesslike these days, having given up her job in McDonalds for a better paid gig on the Pie...

Pinch and a punch for the first of the month. Out of bed and, pausing only to make Lorraine a cup of tea and feed the cats, before striding down London Road to get my annual fasting bloods done. I wonder if enforced starvation a few days before is going to make my results weird. As I passed Rick around the corner's house, Rick happened to be outside. I told him where I was going, and he said there was a national shortage of vials and wondered if there was something seriously wrong with me if they had authorised it. Hope not. In and out of the medical centre in moments. The nurse, no older than your average victorian chimney sweep, was rapid and efficient.  Home with a loaf of chewy brown. Lorraine, Sam and I chatting in the kitchen and Sam laughing at the word phlebotomist when Lorraine said it.  At my desk unwanted tasks such as having to create an account online at Company's House so I could end my Ltd company made me want to self harm. But with the information my accountant...