Yellas

Below My old pal Nev pictured painting yellas upside down in Australia. "I've still got the skills!" he says. As a very senior and talented art director when people asked him what he did outside of an agency context, he would persistently say that he painted yellas (ie painted yellow lines on the road). I don't know where he got this from.

I stole Nev's line from him once to excellent effect. I was sitting in the front row with Mex and two other friends at a comedy venue in Chiswick. Some obnoxious Scottish comedian came on and started berating everyone for being English and middle class, with poncey London jobs. As I was sitting right at the front he seized on me as his first victim.

"And what do you do?"

Me, borrowing Nev's line (and sensibly not explaining that I was, uh, a creative in an advertising agency) said: "Paint yellas."

"What are yellas?"

"You know. Double yellas, single yellas..."

One-nil to me. Much audience laughter as the comedian had no comeback to this.

He turned to Mex, "What does he really do?"

"Paints yellas," said Mex without missing a beat.

More laughter from the audience. Comedian getting really hacked off. He then picked on our friend Mark.

What do you do?

"Install stair lifts for old people," said Mark completely truthfully.

That comedian hated us.