Another day in bed with cooties Feeling got at and moany. Temperature now dropping below 100. Slept sweatily most of the day and feel horrible. By way of light relief got a poetry rejection after six months from Ambit. I have sent them work off and on for twenty years and have never got anywhere with them. The editor told me not to give up which was nice. But there comes a moment in a man's life where not banging your head against the same wall is a good idea. You'd think that sitting in a chair wouldn't be a danger, but I coughed and in doing so managed to painfully put my back out. Unbelievable. Spoke to Anton and Mum. Texts from First Matie. Spoke to Sarah too who has contracted what she calls cooties (which are germs) I think she got them from me, and it is clearly a computer virus.
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The greased poet Went for a swim today feeling very tired but decided that I had to do something as I am getting badly out of shape. Greased myself in Vaseline before I went for a swim, and bought a swimming cap too. And waddled out looking like a complete idiot. Labouring along with no zip in the pool too, but was pleased to have done it. Skin survived okay too. Left work on time to get to Brighton Poets. Boss raised eyebrow, which infuriated me. Made my way to the event which turned out to be as poor as last time's was good. Sparsely attended, and an execrable singer songwriter by way of half time entertainment. Read four poems which I nevertheless enjoyed doing. I did get talking to a few people however which was good but by the end of the evening was feeling decidedly rough. Home and a quick chat to Sarah before bed.
Some useful introspection Had a bit of an "ah-ha" moment this weekend. One of the things I realised, sparked in part with conversations with Anton and Sarah, is that I have a poverty mindset. These days I have a good job and own a home but I was pretty impoverished for most of my twenties, when I was going through my penniless-poet-starving-in-a-garret routine. To this day, some part of me is afraid that my career and life will catastrophically fall to pieces and I will return to the years when I used to sweat over whether I could afford a bag of groceries. Every fear has a reason for being. And this one keeps me in work and stops me squandering money. The cost of this fear, however, is that it associates putting effort behind what I really want to do with my life with anxiety and poverty. Just like last month when I did a poetry reading, I was surprised how I associated it with being poor - as well as the deaths of one of my best friends and his wife. Once I actually did the
A random elephant Fairly tired today, and kept my head down at work. Not much to report other than feeling a bit jaded. Worked through lunch and scooted off from work a few minutes early in the company of Trace who has been in the wars lately. She fell from her bicycle a couple of weeks ago and banged her head badly (typically it was the one time she was not wearing a helmet), and now she has a work crisis going on. Met Reuben on the train coming home and had a cheery, Friday chat over a can of beer. Home and had a lengthy IM session with Sarah talking, amongst other things, about 1980s English pop which she was mad about. Then had a phone call from Mum who is investigating having prints made of her pictures. And now bed is calling like a siren... Below examples of essay answers from an email sent around today. Here are two that made me laugh. Especially the elephant.
Two shots of the Ark Here are two snaps of the Ark which is quite near my work. An amazing building part of which looks to me like a dinosaur head above the rooftops. I went for a walk past it the other day, it is fenced off and inhospitible. I think little if any of the space inside is rented. Very odd.
Back in the swing Spent some time today at work with Mark, another writer, coming up with names for a high profile entertainment business in the centre of London. (Can't go into any detail here naturally.) This was quite fun and, in the unlikely event that one of them sticks, it will be cool to have named something famous in London. I like brainstorming so that anything can come sluicing out. After about an hour we'd generated about 70 names. Many of the utterly appalling and bizarre. This was a nice distraction from working on a stultifying brochure about ISAs and Unit Trusts, which also forced me to learn about them in soul-withering detail. After work yet another leaving do in the revamped Distillers which has become the bar of choice for the agency (not that there's much choice). Lots of chatting and general networking. Saw American Craig and the excellent Bei Li who'd been doing some freelance together. Also saw a cheery Taranjit who I'd not seen since she and
A sprinkle Back to work today. Now that my holiday is over, I feel healthier than I have done for days. Doing a poetry session or mini course at work seems to be back on the agenda again. If it comes off, it will be very interesting. Quite busy today. And I noticed one of the sprinkles that Sarah had enclosed in my Valentine's package on my sweater at work at 6.00pm. I had been walking around with a little red heart on me all day. I am such a sweet man. In the evening met up with Marja and Sarah Freems for our regular gossip. However we went to somewhere called the Ebury Arms in SW1. Nice enough place, the food very good indeed, although served in parsimonious "nouvelle cuisine" portions. Also I was sitting opposite the girls on a sofa which reduced me to hobbit size, having resisted placing the undeniably wee Freems on it. Both Marja and Freems are fairly quiet talkers and it was a noisy place, so much of the evening I was straining forward with my face hovering above,
Cappuccino Mirabilis Another day's vacation, and still feeling a bit wussy. Anton phoned first thing sounding poor with a massive headache and fever. So perhaps it is something doing the rounds. Either way I go back to work tomorrow and we've done none of the dragon walk which is galling. Instead I took a walk down by the misty sea and still felt a bit spinny-headed and tired crunching along the stones. Despite this it was good to be out. From there went to the Sanctuary cafe. Discovered there's another poetry night next Monday so I'll go there to inflict shock and awe. As the excellent rapper Common says: "Even actors and ball players be knowin' my rhymes", and it's only right that the bards of Brighton should be knowin' mine. While I was there, I had a good cappuccino and the miraculous zap of caffeine precipitated a reorganisation of my life. One of the first things I wrote down in my Moleskine is that I should have zero tolerance for not trying
Migraine and road drills A day's holiday today. And a general feeling of wussiness on Sunday evolved into migraine. Woke up in astonishingly bad pain in the middle of the night. For a few seconds I was convinced I was dying. However once I was fully awake things were okay. Went onto the NHS Direct website, which works as a kind of triage system for hypochondriacs, and it told me that my headache was safe to manage at home and not call people out of their beds at 4:00am. Ate pills and then tried to sleep again. Imagine my delight when the heavy digging machinery started some 10 feet away from my head a few hours later. Typical that the one time I've had a migraine since I've been in Brighton, it coincides with infernal, house-shuddering banging immediately outside my window. Had to renege on the Dragon walk today, which was more than annoying. Anton went on another walk on his own. I lurked about trying to recover. Enjoyed watching a DVD of Peter Brook's Lord of The Flie
Piggy biz Grrr-ing over a standard rejection slip I got today from Poetry London which took a snappy five and half months. Spoke to Sarah this morning, and after spending a lot of time laughing, I felt much cheerier. Then I went for a walk down by the sea. It was an interesting day to take photographs, as the light was pearly and diffuse, and the sea calmer than I have seen it for some time. Felt very happy just walking along taking photos. All kinds of people-watching to be had - like the jazz musicians up towards Hove (something slightly absurd about seeing a double bass, trombone, and guitar next to the sea) or the boules players, or skateboard kids. After two hours or so I felt quite tired - a bit ominous considering we start the mystical dragon walk on Monday. Anton was saying today that the River Arun had actually changed its course and now meets the sea on the site of an old village. Katie called me, she is back from South Africa and sounding cheerful, and has a sparkly new enga
The Liberation of the Loafer Awoken by immense crashing and drilling at 8am immediately outside my bedroom window in the Twitten. Not to mention violent cursing during some sort of argument. It was the workmen come to dig everything up to replace leaking water mains. Reflected that there might have a better day to attempt a lie in. After scowling past the workmen and buying bread and other bits of shopping, and collecting a package from the post office, I returned to have an utterly idle day. When I was a student I was once on the University radio station (as dinosaurs savaged each other's heads outside) to broadcast a manifesto, called The Liberation of the Loafer . The only thing I remember from it how the protagonist, mid idling, watched a fly traverse the difficult terrain of his corduroy trousers. Probably best left in the dustbin of history. Snoozed later (the workmen evaporating at 1.00pm curse them). And did lots of talking to the delightful Sarah by IM. And revelled in doi
Thursday is the new Friday... ...when you are taking Friday off as a holiday that is. Was late for work, but got into the character of someone who has been conducting something mysterious, but supremely important. And on sitting down I conducted my vital junk mail business quickly and with ruthless efficiency and brilliance. In the evening I met Lakshmi, who is a pal of my friend Aimee . Lakshmi has moved from Dubai where she knew Aimee, after studying in Indiana in the US, and then back to Dubai, and now finds herself in London. She is a very nice person and we had a lot to chat about. She surprised me by saying that PG Wodehouse was her favourite author. Not the obvious choice for a woman in her twenties brought up in Dubai. Almost as soon as I met her I could see how her and Aimee fit together, both being chatty, spirited, and good fun. We met in Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese which is one of my favourite haunts with Mad Dog. It was rather full, but, fine, then we went to the Punch across
Valen'ine's day A cheerful day. I already had a card and dragonfly pressies from Sarah so sprang from my bed happy in the knowledge that I had an admirer from afar. I sent Sarah a card and some chocs which, travelling under a benificent star, arrived today in Tampa. As a goddess of love, today is Sarah's day. And I ended mine having a long chat being sprinkled with divinity from as much as 4420.41 miles away. Up early to send Mum some of her photos of her money-making pictures with corrected perspective. And then off to work where I learned that we'd won the pitch I worked on last week. I was then taken out for a lunchtime drink by way of celebration. Listening now to The Hobbit on audio book. Quite fun but I feel the need to listen to something that isn't Tolkien, because it leads to narrowness which in itself can become a bad hobbit. In the evening I went up to Anton and Anna's place to babysit the bairns. This gave them a chance to go to the movies like the
Brand expression and potato soup A while ago I had a conversation with Janet about portfolio careers - where basically you do lots of different jobs at the same time instead of just one. Additionally Sarah recently mentioned that she thinks of herself as a brand. She even has her own logo. This made me think that if you think of yourself as a brand, and all your activities as brand expressions, it seems very limiting to do just one thing. After all, very few organisations create or manufacture just one product. Of course we all express ourselves in ways outside our jobs. But it is limiting to think of yourself as capable of only making money in one way. This also appeals to my cautious side. After all, putting all your eggs in one basket isn't always a good thing either, especially in a volatile industry like advertising. Sent an email to the local radio wondering if they would be interested in a feature about the dragon quest I'm doing with Anton. After work I met Simon in Dea
Matty, Mum and Moths Early into work this morning to urgently write a brochure. Once this was done however, today was much improved, and I don't feel so trapped. And this was distinctly helped by deciding to take next Monday and Tuesday off to start, with Anton, our mysterious dragon quest walk. Mum contacted me today with some important moth news. Apparently the moth we encountered last year on Sark was a Euproctis Similis commonly known as a yellow tail, or (in Sweden) a körsbärsrödgump . It also has irritating hair, but that's not something confined to moths. She also sent me several photos of her paintings (in the "money making" style). There is a handy tool on Corel Paint Shop pro which I have in my laptop, that can correct the perspective of the photos. Sadly I can't put any of these pictures on my site as they have been embargoed. In the evening I went to the new look Distillers to meet Matty boy. He was looking whippet-lean and healthy as a consequence of
A tipping point An enjoyable Sunday, helping me to regain my equilibrium, and then to make some decisions. Talking on many and various subjects with the delightful Sarah on skype first thing, with her dog Cabal panting in the background. Then I set off for a walk. My friend Hannah texted me to say she was in town and I met her briefly and pleasantly for a cream tea and a chat in the Mock Turtle. I love that little place, it is like stepping back in time. Then I went for a walk along the seafront. The sea very rough and bursting over the groynes in a Lawrencian manner. Walking along I decided that I was going to change my career. I want to spend more time to spend on things I find meaningful. Otherwise not too much else to report. Unlike the tempestuous waves, battering the shore, my changes are submarine for the time being. Below waves near the pier.
Notes on a Scandal Saturday found me needing to recharge my batteries after a tricky week. Slept in somewhat and started the day with a skype exchange with a sleepy Sarah. Then did Things that needed to be done such as having a haircut, doing laundry and so on. I am getting into the habit of taking myself to see films from time to time. Feels a bit strange to be alone but as soon as the film starts it makes no difference. Today being grey and sordid, I took myself off to the cinema to see Notes on a Scandal . Listening to my iPod downloaded film reviews is proving quite handy. It was an extremely good film that I would probably not have bothered with otherwise. It was actually bleakly funny, and deals with two teachers, one a year away from retirement, jaded and bitter with an obsessive streak played brilliantly by Judi Dench, and a younger and slightly flakey art teacher played excellently by Cate Blanchett. The older one becomes obsessive in a repressed lesbian sort of way over the y
A box of dragonflies I was woken by the postman this morning. Regular readers will understand that, despite this being Brighton, he wasn’t actually in my bedroom but knocking on my door. To my surprise was a parcel from the US from Sarah. It was a box of dragonflies. First there was a tin which, when opened, contained a beautiful origami box housing two dragonflies. Then there were other presents: a special edition of Wings of Desire, which is one of my all time favourite films, a box of Scooby Snacks (self-evidently sensible), some Moleskine (my favourite kind) notebooks and a lovely Valentine's card which was full of heart-shaped sprinkles. There was a note on the envelope to open it over a table. Moreover everything was immaculately presented, so much so that I was reluctant to open things. It was such a surprise that I took a snap first thing in the morning of some of its contents. So it was a very happy and cheery Peter Kenny that set off to the dark place to work this morning
Snow and a can of whoopass Groggy start. I drank too much with Bob last night, and got to bed late. There was no snow in Brighton, but the world turned white a couple of minutes north of town. And I took some snaps from the train window again. Had a good day in some ways. I accomplished lots and got all the pitch work back on track again -- my work with the Gnome, plus the other two routes that are being developed and were going nowhere fast. However this is a contribution which is mainly invisible, and by 8.00pm I felt bitterly resentful about other people taking credit for my hard work and talent. Still this is my own fault for not changing things. There was a big agency party today, a black tie affair. But uncharacteristically I didn't want to go to it. Instead, after working late, I went home instead. And it is very nice to be here. Maybe I am a hermit after all. IM with Sarah who was at work. She messaged me to say that she was opening a can of whoopass . This is tremendous. I
The ON button Up at six to get into work early. Managed to locate the Peter Kenny ON button and worked in a highly-focused burst for an hour and a half. Doing what seemed like a day's work. Then at the official start of the day a client meeting to discuss how to pin down the exact copy tone for a particular brand. I jumped up at some point and made with the mind maps. Amazing how simple stuff like pinning down the target audience, and getting them to imagine who the author of the letter is, can make people's hair stream out behind them as if the were standing in a wind tunnel of inspiration. Then I tucked into the wraps and sandwiches. And sneaking out from the working lunch for ten minutes I spoke to briefly to Sophie, who sounded very stressed. We talked for ten minutes, she cried a little, and then said she felt loads better. After work went to Waterloo to meet Bob and his very nice colleague Maria who is a lawyer and was born in Jamaica. We had a very fun evening chatting,
A few laughs Bumped into the Reubster for a minichat walking from Victoria station. If you stood these minichats end to end they would form a full conversation. The day spent working on the pitch about a cholesterol treatment. I won't be presenting this one, so I'm fairly chilled now that me and the Gnome have got an idea. Stole out for a solitary gasp or two of air by the river at lunchtime and bumped into Andy my art director. This made me feel a bit sad, as his life is going through a dreadful patch, and it is hard to know how to help. After work went briefly in the bar with Max the Mentor, and Ian. Ian used to be my boss but now is global head of everything. He is a genuinely positive and inspiring person. I have always suspected, however, that he thinks I am a bit of an arse. Skulked off with some of the creative department to see the Irish comedian Ed Byrne at the Riverside Studios - tickets paid for by Ian. It was cold in the theatre and we were a bit of a sluggish Tues
Frog and Angel Started writing a new poem on the train in the morning, despite the elbows of the Times reading buffoon next to me. Have this idea about focus groups, where you sit behind two way mirrors and watch people being interviewed. The news full of bird flu and turkeys being slaughtered (they must think it's Christmas every day). The BBC and other establishment organs are radiating calm, so you know something well dodgy is going down. Thank goodness for a letter bomb in London today to take everyone's mind off it. Met a woman called Rachel who I worked with at IBM many years ago, and is now one of the agency's clients. Had a short nostalgic chat with her before doing actual work. Still feeling somewhat frustrated. I did attend a meeting in which I had to give a short presentation. During the course of this I found a frog glove puppet, which I employed to stare and gape at The Gnome across the table as things progressed. Otherwise, there was little of note to report.
Keep off the groynes Shuffling about enjoyably this morning after getting up very late. So late in fact that Sarah was already up in Florida. A nice chat, particularly about her recommendation for a men's fragrance called Vera Wang for Men . Anton and Anna called around well after noon and I was still in my dressing gown. However I quickly got my walking boots on and joined them for a coffee in the Red Rooster. Had fun, despite spilling coffee on myself, and dropping the end of a flapjack into my latte. Poor Anna back to work after her maternity leave tomorrow. Klaudia and Oskar sleeping like babies in their double decker pushchair. A short walk with them to the sea, and then I continued along the coast by the groynes under the cliffs at Roedean. Walking back there was a tremendously beautiful sunset. And I took some photos. Below limpet mountains and the sunset.
A hermit in the twitten In hermit mode this morning, however a double glazing salesman came around (he had an appointment). He had scratches on his face, and carried a small case with him containing a small window. Carrying this, I suggested to him, must be a pane. He ignored this, and popped off after leaving me with a large quote. A skype conversation with Sarah, who was off for a girly morning's shopping. And then I proceeded to do almost nothing. A bit of laundry, watched England beat the Sweaties at rugby on TV, and thought about things to write about. Spoke to Mum who is thinking about setting up a website, and had a good chat with Toby. It was very cold now in Toronto. Below Toby sent me this shot of me frenziedly grating fresh wasabi in a restaurant in Izu, Japan. Makes me look like I have a giant head, but there you go.
The heat is on I'm hoping The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change's findings actually prompt some concerted action in the world. Will it get major governments (like the US) to admit climate change is happening? All the rest of us have to do is look out into the nearest garden. Below is a shot taken in Magravine Cemetery this morning of spring bulbs in full bloom. They started in January - the first full month of winter . I find it very disturbing. I was overheating too. Arrived early to do some urgent work to discover I had been locked out of all the computer systems for not completing my timesheets. They had been completed and I had made special efforts the day before so I wouldn't be locked out. Wasted an hour shouting at people, making phone calls and finally exploding with rage until it was sorted. Then, racing against time, I lost the same piece of copy twice due a software crash. Then after completely writing it from scratch the for the second time, the origina
The Gnome is steady A pinch and a punch for the start of the month, but not much to report. Completely useless this morning. Managed to sleep through my alarm. When I woke up I was in plenty of time for the later train, but for some reason managed to miss this too. Heroically late to work. Once there, however, The Gnome and I were suddenly very busy - and spent time running about the building and doing scraps of this and that and trying to come up with a big idea for the new pitch. I stayed behind in the evening to compensate for being so tardy in the morning. The Gnome stayed there too, and he is quite cheerful at the moment and he can be very funny. His steadiness is a great help sometimes, and sometimes I take for granted how much I rely on him. Read more about Sussex dragons on the train coming home. Sussex was once a good place for dragons. The one in St Leonard's forest sounds disgusting: "There is always in his tracke or path left a glutinous and slimie matter (as by a