under another sun

Rainy and stormy Tuesday. And an unghoulish halloween, although our neighbour Stephanie's grandchildren from across the way arrived (by prior agreement) trick or treating. I leave Lorraine to do this sort of thing. Lorraine out to her gym, and also having a Covid jab. I had a much better day, focused on writing this morning, and managed to get a few poems sent off, as well as doing a bit of editing on the latest podcast episode.  Thoughts also in Guernsey for a time and I'm hoping to re-collect all my Guernsey poems, with the several others that have been published about the island since the emergence of A Guernsey Double .  Nipped out after lunch for a stroll along by the sea, in an interlude when it wasn't raining. Watching one of the big earth movers, clanking up and down, levelling the shingle to protect the beach.  Home and a carpenter called Andy was here, to discuss a few jobs. Including sorting out my study, which would be amazing.  In the news, the Covid inq...

Up early and trying to get started on some writing, hoping to send poems off for various deadlines.  I failed completely despite my best efforts, with lots of interruptions this morning.  A walk in the afternoon, however, made me feel less frustrated. The sea is therapy.   Calliope, who had a nasty turn yesterday, constantly with me, sleeping on my desk. I am worried about her. My back, however, is still slowly improving. Lorraine went off to see Pat and Maureen taking Pat for a blood test, and going to the garden centre for lunch. She returned late, but safely. The weather is making things unpredictable. Only able to read and watch the unrelenting horror in Gaza and Israel now and then. So much disgusting blood lust. Such an impossibly complicated geopolitical situation. 

Raining most of the day. A good chat with Mum this morning. Lorraine and I were due to go out tonight, but our friends cancelled through illness first thing. We were happy pottering about together, me painting the bathroom cupboard in the garage while Lorraine tidied the space up, and we removed another from the study wall. I cooked this evening.  Very worried about Calliope, who was walking back into the kitchen from outside, then stopped and howled horribly just outside the back door. She has done this once before. I brought her in, and she was panting and distressed. I thought she might die. However, she slept most of the evening, and seemed improved. Last time she did this, she was fine shortly after. But it upset me.

In the evening Lorraine drove us to Brian and Yvonne's house. A cheery meal and a few drinks, with Marley the dog bringing me something to throw for her. Brian, who had not been drinking for weeks for charity, had a few drinks. He also gave us a skull bottle full of cider he had made in his shed. I believe it is quite pokey. Lorraine said we would give it back, full of sloe gin.

Today, ten years ago, Lorraine and I got married. Cards, and Lorraine had got me a little heart, and some heart shaped lebkuchen. We slipped off this afternoon to wander about in Alfriston which is a lovely village not far from us nestled in the downs. Also we walked down to the church and the White Bridge over the river where two swans were swanning about.  Mooched about looking at a good art shops, and lurking in the Much Ado bookshop when the rain started, as it had done when we went there with Toby recently.   Home again, and a much needed rest of my slowly and steadily improving back, before heading around the corner to an Italian restaurant called Ginos. Turns out this was a really nice place, which had been recommended to us. We put aside our Zoe approved foods, and had salad, prawns in hot sauce, and two delicious pizzas, very much home made style. Yum. Anyway, definitely the happiest ten years of my life thanks to Lorraine. Below Alfriston village green and its churc...

Back steadily improving and I am able to get dressed in the morning without Lorraine having to put my socks on and so on. Trying on shirts again instead of teeshirts, and very noticeable now that my shirts are all loose. This zoe change of diet thing is really helping me get trimmer, even when I am creeping around the house like Igor. Lorraine out this morning, and went to see Beth and James. I did a recording session with Robin, and had a little prep to do beforehand. It's great to have such a good poetry ally. In the afternoon, I zoomed to Brighton, reading Charlotte's brilliant new pamphlet Cargo, on the train, and bought a card to give to  Lorraine tomorrow. Nice to be out in the world again, if a tad gingerly. Then met up with my school friends Peter and Mark in The Nelson on Trafalgar Street. Drank lots, popped into a tapas place for some tapas, and then repaired to the Great Eastern. I first met those two in September 1971, which is rather a long time ago. Mark and Peter...

Now able to stand vertically for up to twenty minutes at a go. And walk about a bit with very few outbreaks of Tourettes. My shark mentality means if progress, even tiny progress, is being made I am happy. Standstill quickly leaves me suffocating and despondent. Although I learn only certain sharks needing to move to breathe. I did see photos of sharks dozing in cave once. But whale sharks, great whites and makos, for example, would die if they stopped.   Watching Lorraine hefting things about in the houses was difficult, and she kept telling me off for trying to help. The bedroom is looking straighter now, and I was able to help in small ways. Makes me very happy to see Lorraine cheerfully thinking about stuff in the house.  Mum off with Mason to the Waggon and Horses. Mason had got huffy with someone there, and for a while felt like boycotting the place. Luckily this seems to have passed, and they off to meet Robert. Meanwhile Anton has returned from a brief sojourn in Spain...

Dejected by lack of improvement to the back.  But people were kind to me all day. First, Lorraine rescued me from this, by setting up an osteopath appointment, and going off to Ashford to take Pat to an appointment. She also called Brian and arranged for him to collect me. Not before calling our old pal Brian Bell by mistake first, which was fun. Brian in Seaford kindly picked me up, Igor-ing in my slippers into his car.   The osteopath was incredibly gentle and very chatty behind his facemark. After twenty minutes or so of deceptively light massage transformed the rigid muscle into something more pliable. We were chatting all the time. His father was an archeologist, and his mother a dentist, and he and his brother grew with bones to play with. He also said that the majority of spines are horizontal, which I had never thought about in quite that way before.  He took my payment, while chatting intensely, and it was only when I got home, the receptionist called to say the ...

Slept better, but woke up at 6am having a migraine spangles and agonising back spasms. I've had better starts to a day. Still mustn't grumble, eh? A bit of an improvement, but still not fit for much. Microwaving a bean bag and using a TENS machine on my back. Pressing on a bit of writing in between feeling uncomfortable. Lorraine busy about the house, tidying and cooking and preserving aubergines and making cucumber pickle.  Lorraine talked to Matt up in Yorkshire, and we are going to see him. Be lovely for us to catch up with Matt after several years. Amanda finished today. She was so low maintenance and did a lovely job. Everything needs tidying up and sorting, but I can't move anything, and Lorraine is off to Ashford tomorrow. Slept in our own bed tonight. Much easier to get in and out of luckily. We read some more of Wind in the Willows .  Felt a bit like Job first thing this morning. 

I could only lie in one position all night, and slept fitfully. It took me half an hour of yelping and screaming with Lorraine helping me before I could get out of bed and stand up. Easily the worst back pain I've ever had. Luckily Maureen's three wheeled walker, proved a boon once I was out of bed. But the day a bit grim and weirdly exhausting and not able to do much of anything, not even writing. Amanda, who has almost finished painting our bedroom and en suite, very kindly brought a TENS machine in for me, which sends small electrical prickles into your back to block the pain. Interesting feeling, and I think it did work or at least distracted me. I however was able to sleep for a while this afternoon on the sofa, and able to scramble up afterwards on my own.   Lorraine fabulous, and basically did everything while I sat about whimpering. Why my gorgeous wife doesn't simply press a pillow over my face in the middle of the night, I'll never know.  

So a chirpy start to the day, having made a few decisions overnight about various writerly businesses. Lorraine off this morning in her gym clothes to a doctor's appointment, and then off to her personal trainer and to spend some time with Sarah in Bolney.  I meanwhile, got to work relishing the idea of a writing day, and felt in the mood to make great strides. I broke off some rather lofty contemplations, to clean the cat litter tray as the cats were moaning. We have this in the main bathroom at the moment, and after I manfully changed the befouled litter, and washed the tray in the bath and mopped the floor, I was just adding the last few lumps of litter in and my bastard back went into a vile spasm right across my lower back. As I stood clutching the bannister, Amanda came out from decorating. I was able to move for a while, and I always think continuing to move a good thing. I spoke to Mum later in the day. Otherwise I kept a low profile as my back was becoming increasingly uns...

Suddenly seasonally cold, and nippy at my desk this morning. Keep having dreams about applying for jobs, or turning up to a new agency and knowing nobody etc. My psyche is beginning to get to grips with the idea I am not going to be doing much freelance work from now on. I never thought of myself as someone who took their identity from their job. And luckily I can keep on writing.  A chat with Anton, who was in bed with a cold. Nice to wake up and start writing again, before slipping downstairs having breakfast. In the afternoon moving things, taking apart my futon and storing it, mowing the lawn till the lawn mower gave up the ghost. We bought a cheap one and it has already broken once. You get what you pay for. Lorraine and I took a saunter through Seaford, and then Brian and Yvonne dropped in with a present for me: a flask water or hot drinks when walking. Lovely.  Reading a bit too. Dipping into the  Anthology of Contemporary American Poetry Volume 2 Second Edition ...

A certain fragility this morning. In need of coffee and a square breakfast and a little quietness. Innis and Rosie drove over. Rosie's birthday the day after mine, but a difficult week with her mother being in hospital, among other things. Some horrible traffic bottleneck meant it took them almost two hours to get here too. However we went up to the South Barn, and walked back down towards the Seven Sisters, stopped on a bench and ate a cheese roll, then walked round where we collected lots of sloes in that little wooded valley leading back to the Barn. But not before Rosie and Pippi both got covered in burrs, which had to be picked out of their clothes and pelts respectively. We also picked lots of sloes, for some reason I picked a few elderberries thinking they were tiny sloes. Much discussion of the best way of making sloe gin.  Home to some chocolate brownies, which Innis and Rosie had brought, before they went home. Then dragging more furniture around in our bedroom, so Amanda...

Running about getting things ready for people coming over at 4pm.  Dawn and Paul came, which was great as we hadn't seem them since their marriage. We all popped open a bottle or two of bubbly to toast them. They'd been on holiday to Berlin, and Copenhagen and Amsterdam and so on. It was great to be able to celebrate with them -- they gave me a succulent plant for my study, which I liked lots. Beth and James here too. The house move which had seemed dead in the water, now might have some life in it. It's the hope that kills you. They gave me a 'to a great stepdad' card, and a pair of excellent slippers. Julie came too, and brought me some socks, chocolates and a bottle of wine.  Anton, who had arrived first, brought me my own game of bones, manufactured in the USSR, plus a book on barbecuing, and a book he has been raving about called Papyrus -- and also a Guernsey ten shilling note from the year of my birth, and a Greek note from during the Nazi occupation. Anton u...

Up early to tweet about the new podcast episode. Ian McMillan eventually retweeted, but it only garnered a handful of likes and had little prominence in his twitter stream that is unbelievably prolific. A happy day, with Lorraine getting the lounge straightened out. We put installed some new wall lights and wired them in without electrocution, hung curtains and temporarily fixed a wobbly leg on the gold sofa and so on. A glorious vegetable soup at lunch and the last birthday Eccles cake with a cup of tea. Got everything back from my accountant, and generally feeling cheery and lucky. Disturbed by details of the inhumanity of the attack on Israel by Hamas. One clip I watched showed young people dancing at a music festival and on the horizon behind them an approaching line of motorised hang gliders, which turned out to contain armed to the teeth Hamas soldiers. Also appalled by the terrible, and inevitably indiscriminate, retribution that has been unleashed on the Palestinians. Reflectin...

So a certain Beatles tune had a lot of resonance this birthday morning, but Lorraine said she would still love me. I got up and fed the cats and brought us some green teas. Opened my laptop, and clicked a link that mum had sent and saw an orchestra of bears playing Happy Birthday. Lorraine gave me a present of a Keith A Pettit print, and some stem ginger.  A few cards, one with £20 in it from Pat and Maureen, signed Mum and Dad,  but a humblingly large amount of messages, calls and texts from friends and family. Thanking my lucky stars that I didn't have to waste today working. Even my Godbairns texted me.  Season 4 of the Planet Poetry podcast began today, with my interview with Ian McMillan . When Robin and I started it, it was almost an experiment. Now it's a thing, as they say. Now the lounge is painted, Lorraine and I played games of dragging the furniture into different places, as well as fixing curtain rails and rehanging curtains and so on. Amanda now busy paintin...

Slept really badly. Both cats were on the bed, but I  slept shallowly and fitfully in the spare room, as Amanda is doing our bedroom now. I missed Lorraine. Up very early. Amanda arrived, and during the course of the day, we changed one of the colours, after chatting with Lorraine between  taking her mum and dad to various appointments and cooking lasagne.  I did an interview this morning for the podcast. My guest Martyn's computer decided to do a full update just before the interview so it was delayed, then a few technical problems but he gave a very good interview. More shenanigans with freelance. Nothing was confirmed so I lost patience and pulled out, only to be told the job had melted away anyway. I was happy as I hadn't particularly wanted to do it, and could walk away without letting anyone down. Then I was offered another job with Keith, which I didn't fancy.  Luckily Keith couldn't do it. But in having to biff these jobs, I suddenly felt as if I had taken ba...

Lorraine going to her personal trainer, then off to see Pat and Maureen. I was late leaving home, my disorganisation, and the general upsidedownness of the house during decoration not helping. On the train faffing about taking calls about a freelance job, while having to move away from two Bulgarians who were sat opposite each other were talk so loudly that when I moved, I could still hear them from the far end of the coach. A pleasant journey. Really warm pleasant day, though around Elstree there were autumnal leaves, and I pocketed a conker. Arrived late to meet Mum and Mas at The Waggon and Horses, already in its halloween array, and Mum was sat in front of fake spiderweb with quite realistic spiders. The window too had a transfer on it, that made it seem that bloody hands were pressed against it. Nice to see them. Mas, however, listing to starboard due to a back problem. Followed Mason's recommendation and had an excellent Caesar salad there. Fond farewells, and I walked back t...

Up early, sending off the latest version of the podcast to Robin for a final edit, and (finally) my books to my accountant, and getting my ducks in a row for Clare Best's book launch in London, where I am to be MC. Clare has sent meticulous notes about it.  Lorraine took a morning stroll and did a spot of shopping. Then, after picking more tomatoes, Lorraine and I moving stuff and unscrewing curtain rails and so on in our bedroom, and a bathroom cabinet, and moved beds and cupboards and so on, so our bedroom can be painted by Amanda. Off this afternoon to Brighton, passing a shrine of photos and flowers on Queen's Road where a young 17 year old boy called Mustafa was stabbed to death last Thursday. I mooched down and had my hair cut by Stacy. He said there had been a second stabbing last night in Trafalgar Street -- after discussing the attacks on Israel by Hamas, we eventually had a more cheery talk.  Home in Seaford some time later, and I made arrangements with Mum to meetin...

A sociable day of guests. Catherine and Tanya came around for a long lunch. They are always splendid company. Catherine was recovering from shingles, and leaving a job with a toxic atmosphere, and so on. But things improving for her now, and they are settling nicely into their new home. Lorraine made a thali which was highly tasty.  Having fondly squeezed Catherine and Tanya goodbye, and run about tidying up, and watching a few minutes of Final Score. (Chelsea, astonishingly, winning again) Steve came around with Freja, who is off back to the States shortly. Freja and Lorraine have a lot to say to each other about plants among other things. A lovely woman, and a cheery evening sitting outside till ten, as it was so warm.  She's back to Sacramento in California this week. She was surprised when I told her the first time I had met her that I'd been there with Toby one time.

So back in the podcast groove, Lorraine and I got up early again and Amanda arrived early to paint the living room. Lorraine drove off to Gatwick this morning with Beth, who has to fly to Aberdeen. She then went to her personal trainer, and then had lunch with a pal in Bolney. I recorded a bit of banter with Robin, and then edited what we'd recorded. A happy day thinking about poems, changing the cat litter. Lorraine home again this afternoon, then went out again for the evening.  I called Mum and had a nice chat with her. She said there was some Jazz in the Waggon and Horses at the weekend, that she had enjoyed, tuning into their interplay. I am going up to London on Tuesday evening to host this book launch, so I'll see Mum and Mas beforehand. I told mum she was one of the two birds I was going to kill with a single stone. I went for a walk down by the sea, which looked a beautiful grey blue in the fading light. Home and a glass of wine, offset with peanuts. All well.  A cros...

Up early because Amanda the painting and decorating lady was here today to paint our front room.  Meanwhile I did a couple of hours editing on the podcast interview with Ian McMillan before I sent it towards Robin's ears this afternoon.  Then off shopping with Lorraine in Seaford, buying some green candles to go in our red dining room, and a present for Penny and then going to the fabric shop with the long suffering Gold Sofa seat covers and arranging to have them refilled, at a fairly hefty cost -- but nothing compared to a new sofa.  I love my gold sofa. Then to walk by the sea, extremely hot for October, apart from it signalling the end of the world, it was rather lovely.   Then the supermarket. This new Zoe way of eating is weird, you don't get hungry but I find myself instead getting hangry and snappy if I haven't eaten. We got home at three and devoured smoked mackerel.   Later Lorraine cooked a veggie lasagne, which included Kenny Farm harvests. We h...