There's something about a Friday which makes it easy to be well-disposed to the world. Beautiful sunny day, reading the newspaper on the train and revelling in the idea that I had a whole weekend to regroup. Was thanked for the slogging I had done recently and after finishing a few bits off, was briefed on another pitch. This one is for an incontinence product.
I had all the motivation of a planarian worm. I was able to respond to light however, so I slipped off to get an eye test. My eyes have been a bit rubbish lately and wanted to make sure all was healthy. Very thorough test, especially after eye pressure was on the high end of normal, which means tests every year in case I develop glaucoma. Very nice young Indian woman eye person. She asked me if I drived, and I said that embarrassingly I didn't. "I suppose," she said without a shred of malice, "that is a bit unusual for people in the older generation". Ouch. Anyhoo... Doddered about choosing some new frames and was relieved of cash by a buffoonish sales person.
Had some of those eyedrops which relax the eye and give you expanded, drug-crazed pupils. (Sounds like a day in the life of Toby.) Sitting opposite a mirror I looked at myself in a new blurry stylee and realised that my hair had tipped into ridiculousness. I felt a wave of panic envelop me: Nicki has selfishly stopped cutting hair to have a baby. I am clear I don't want a man cutting it, but I feel desolate and with nowhere to turn.
Went back to the office, Mr Magoo-ing it to the max, and didn't take my shades off, having the perfect excuse to do no further work. Watched smudgy footie instead, nursing a cold bottle of corona beer in the works bar. Argentina v Germany. Shame there wasn't a way that both could lose. Argentinians started a mass brawl (clearly a case of Argy bargy) after they were defeated on a penalty shoot out.
Wandered up the river to the Dove to meet Sarah. Lovely to see her. Lots of talking as usual, she claims to have new DNA, as she had recently been on a guided meditation. This has allowed her to reprogramme herself on a cellular level, which is nice. She also asserted that she has invented a new word "wh'evs". This is a contraction of the ubiquitous "whatever" (usually pronounced in a tiresome voice and a glottal stop replacing the t). Making it plural was a masterstroke. As a mature student she is excellently placed to feed this into the zeitgeist via impressionable young uns. You read it first here.
We went off to for a nice bite in the Agni on King Street, and then I set off to Seagullgrad (sorry humans I mean Brighton). Home and caught up on the footie - my eyes now functioning again, before tumbling happily into bed and becoming a Z-factory.
I had all the motivation of a planarian worm. I was able to respond to light however, so I slipped off to get an eye test. My eyes have been a bit rubbish lately and wanted to make sure all was healthy. Very thorough test, especially after eye pressure was on the high end of normal, which means tests every year in case I develop glaucoma. Very nice young Indian woman eye person. She asked me if I drived, and I said that embarrassingly I didn't. "I suppose," she said without a shred of malice, "that is a bit unusual for people in the older generation". Ouch. Anyhoo... Doddered about choosing some new frames and was relieved of cash by a buffoonish sales person.
Had some of those eyedrops which relax the eye and give you expanded, drug-crazed pupils. (Sounds like a day in the life of Toby.) Sitting opposite a mirror I looked at myself in a new blurry stylee and realised that my hair had tipped into ridiculousness. I felt a wave of panic envelop me: Nicki has selfishly stopped cutting hair to have a baby. I am clear I don't want a man cutting it, but I feel desolate and with nowhere to turn.
Went back to the office, Mr Magoo-ing it to the max, and didn't take my shades off, having the perfect excuse to do no further work. Watched smudgy footie instead, nursing a cold bottle of corona beer in the works bar. Argentina v Germany. Shame there wasn't a way that both could lose. Argentinians started a mass brawl (clearly a case of Argy bargy) after they were defeated on a penalty shoot out.
Wandered up the river to the Dove to meet Sarah. Lovely to see her. Lots of talking as usual, she claims to have new DNA, as she had recently been on a guided meditation. This has allowed her to reprogramme herself on a cellular level, which is nice. She also asserted that she has invented a new word "wh'evs". This is a contraction of the ubiquitous "whatever" (usually pronounced in a tiresome voice and a glottal stop replacing the t). Making it plural was a masterstroke. As a mature student she is excellently placed to feed this into the zeitgeist via impressionable young uns. You read it first here.
We went off to for a nice bite in the Agni on King Street, and then I set off to Seagullgrad (sorry humans I mean Brighton). Home and caught up on the footie - my eyes now functioning again, before tumbling happily into bed and becoming a Z-factory.
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