Penny drop
Had a penny drop moment today. I have been feeling unhappy lately (not helped by weeks of pain and an adverse reaction to steroids), but I noticed I have been falling into the trap of wasting energy being aggrieved that things were not as I believe they should be, rather than simply dealing with things as they are.
I need to reboot by being grateful for what I have and where I am. Also the fact that things have not worked out particularly well this year, has forced me to be innovative and create The New Idea which has forced me to think in new ways. As ever, I am left with the realisation that the one thing that you can exert any influence over is your own conduct.
A good day, gradually feeling human again despite weird possibly steroid related pains in my eyes preventing me typing more than a few hours. Having some good ideas and feeling fairly cheerful. Absorbed by the Steve Jobs biography, but certainly not in an admiring way.
A mooch in the park at lunch time, listening to the Jobs thing and having a cup of tea outside a cafe. Watched a helicopter land in the park, and interested to see people streaming towards it from all over the park, magnetised by curiosity alone. It was an air ambulance, but it didn't appear to be on a mission. Almost like the Close Encounters film.
A long chat with Sonia, who was telling me that she missed the days of Communism in Bulgaria. These days it is full of corruption and she was lamenting uncontrolled developments in beauty spots.
Chatted with Matt too. He's writing in a different way at the moment, although the weight of the real has been pressing down on him and he has little time for work. He is putting a song I wrote, called Aubade, to music however. I consciously wrote it as a song rather than a poem.
Went to the doctor this evening, getting quite good at using the time in the waiting room to meditate now. Then feeling quite cheery home, and suggested to Lorraine when she returned that we go for a curry. Betty out with some friends, but joined us as we'd gone to the restaurant late. Cheery to be back there...
Below a strangely magnetic helicopter.
I need to reboot by being grateful for what I have and where I am. Also the fact that things have not worked out particularly well this year, has forced me to be innovative and create The New Idea which has forced me to think in new ways. As ever, I am left with the realisation that the one thing that you can exert any influence over is your own conduct.
A good day, gradually feeling human again despite weird possibly steroid related pains in my eyes preventing me typing more than a few hours. Having some good ideas and feeling fairly cheerful. Absorbed by the Steve Jobs biography, but certainly not in an admiring way.
A mooch in the park at lunch time, listening to the Jobs thing and having a cup of tea outside a cafe. Watched a helicopter land in the park, and interested to see people streaming towards it from all over the park, magnetised by curiosity alone. It was an air ambulance, but it didn't appear to be on a mission. Almost like the Close Encounters film.
A long chat with Sonia, who was telling me that she missed the days of Communism in Bulgaria. These days it is full of corruption and she was lamenting uncontrolled developments in beauty spots.
Chatted with Matt too. He's writing in a different way at the moment, although the weight of the real has been pressing down on him and he has little time for work. He is putting a song I wrote, called Aubade, to music however. I consciously wrote it as a song rather than a poem.
Went to the doctor this evening, getting quite good at using the time in the waiting room to meditate now. Then feeling quite cheery home, and suggested to Lorraine when she returned that we go for a curry. Betty out with some friends, but joined us as we'd gone to the restaurant late. Cheery to be back there...
Below a strangely magnetic helicopter.
Comments