Balance Worked industriously and got five manuscripts off into cyberspace or in old fashioned envelopes. Two for the poetry collection, and three off to poetry magazines. Conscious that I am sending off some really strong material now, and this feels good and positive. This balanced and relaxed feeling a total volte-face from yesterday. I rewarded myself with a blueberry muffin. I listened to the Allison Fearns show as I worked. I'm trying to judge the best tone of how to approach tomorrow's show, which seems very chatty and low key. Don't feel at all nervous and will prepare a mind map of stuff to glance at, and just show up. Lots of people coming down to Brighton, all calling me today: Mad dog, Lakshmi, First matie, Mum and Mason will all be down in the next week. Maybe it's the magnetism of the kitten. Spoke to Sophie too, who said Calliope is a name she associates with old Greek women with gold earrings. Lorraine came round this evening, and the kitten companionably
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I'm on the radio For avid PK fans with time on their hands... I will be on BBC Southern Counties Radio Tomorrow Wednesday 1st October, talking about childlessness. I'm on the Allison Fearns show, not sure yet about the exact time, probably a little after 2.00PM UK time, which is currently GMT +1. It is streamed live here .
Year Zero and a jaded old hack I was getting some poetry ready and pinpointing places to send it, when I suddenly felt completely sickened and fed up. I slouched off for a long walk in an autumnal park. What Sogyal Rinpoche calls the Monkey Mind was reminding me that I had my first poems published when I was 22 (which I did) why are you still having to schlep around like a beginner when you've spent over half your life being a published poet? Then I remembered all the rejections I'd ever had (ignoring all the acceptances). I also recalled my life when I had made poetry my priority in my 20s and early 30s. Poverty, Bleak House-like publishers delays culminating in sickening disappointments, such as just missing out at Faber & Faber, nicely rounded off by the death of my best writer friend. However a walk in the park and a timely call from Bob, made me feel much better. I suggested to the old Mad dog that he set up a Zen guidance hotline. He helped me to realise that no wonde
Matchstick people Up early and working this morning. I showed Lorraine something I've written, as I have discovered that her instincts are spot on. Importantly she was also able to pacify the cat for an hour. Poor Anna, who still has pleurisy, has had to go up to the Midlands as her grandmother had a stroke. So Lorraine and I spent the afternoon in Hove park with Anton and the kids. It was like walking into an LS Lowry picture, with lots of dogs, and people dotted about, and all of us small under the glorious September sun. After a picnic, with Oskar alarmingly fitting an entire boiled egg into his mouth,we watched the children as they clambered about on slides etc. Felt that now-familiar rage when any other little kid barged Oskar on the slide. Good thing I'm not a parent. While I was monitoring Oskar, one little kid who must have been about three and a half introduced himself like a 40year old. His name was Joshua Wilson, and showed me some little rubber balls, and held them
A sunshine day Woke early with my mind buzzing about poetry and writing, after a bad night's sleep. Calliope learnt today how to climb stairs, and celebrated by climbing up to my bedroom sitting in the middle of the duvet and doing an over-excited wee. She followed this achievement by scratching Lorriane's eyeball. Despite her many sins she is at least not sneezing so much, and eating like a horse all of a sudden. Up, finally and working some poems for a bit. Then shopping with Lorraine. A glorious day today in Brighton. We mooched about feeling happy, visiting Beth at her Saturday job in a kids drama school where there were dozens of over-excited kids doing singing and dancing. What's not to love? And then shopping. Damn the doomed economy: I boldly bought a new duvet covers, and a new duvet. A chilled night in, after a day in which I felt suddenly rejuvenated and cheerful. Beth and Mark called by to meet Calliope, who is utterly shameless and attention seeking when ther
Top cats, dead poets and a Mad dog Taxi to the Top Cat vets at Patcham. The ride only became uncomfortable when the kitten decided that this was a good time to start pooing. Nice Vets however, who discreetly took my carrier away and cleaned it. Calliope behaved well apart from pulling herself up by needly feet the woman Vet's bust before sitting on her shoulder, as is Calliope's wont. The kitten did have a respiratory infection, and also conjunctivitis. I was given eye drops, and two antibiotic tablets to quarter and told that she needed to be nursed. A bus home, and even the bus driver was charmed by the kitten. A fast visit to London this afternoon. I lurked for a bit in the National Poetry Library in the South Bank, looking up a few bits and pieces and thumbing enjoyably through a few journals. The poetry library, however, makes me feel melancholy if I stay there too long: something about all those unread poetry books on the shelves, and the condensed lives they contain. And
As nice as pie Up early and did triage on the kitten in the twitten, who seemed perky enough then began sneezing heavily again during the afternoon, so I made an appointment with the vet first thing tomorrow. I was busy tidying up in preparation for a dinner party this evening, and suddenly small pieces of soot and debris started falling down the chimney into my fireplace. My first reaction was that it was some kind of earth tremor (which you get these all the time in Brighton). About 15 seconds later Calliope dropped out of it, which gave me quite a turn. It then bounded sootily onto my beige rug. I remonstrated with her, only for her to do it again shortly after. I barricaded the front of fireplace but she makes sporadic attempts to batter her way through these. I lacked focus today, but managed to squeeze in four or five hours writing, and a much needed haircut. I still miss Nicky in Chiswick. It was like visiting a friend who happened to cut your hair well too. The guys I go to now
Cat sneezes, radio wheezes Calliope is sneezing like a docker, and looking wussy. She had been sneezing a bit but it has got worse. I phoned Top Cat Vets. If there is no improvement tomorrow she is going there to be sorted. However she still had enough gusto to attack ears, dance on laptop etc. as I did my first hour's work this morning, and later on during the day. Took Klaudia into school again as Anna is still feeling ill. Klaudia a bit difficult on the way to school: hiding her arms instead of holding my hand when crossing roads, and taking her coat off, refusing to carry her bag, and creative dawdling. Once we arrived at the school she was back to normal and holding my hand properly. Handed her on to the beautiful teacher with some relief. Contacted today by the local BBC radio Southern Counties Radio and I will be going in next Wednesday to contribute to the Allison Fearns show. This is quite pleasing. After literally being grabbed off the street by her, I am on the show agai
Walking to school Up early, and was working by seven. By working I mean dealing with Calliope's attention seeking for an hour. Then up the road to collect Klaudia and take her to school. Anna does have pleurisy, so is taking care of herself at home. We dawdled somewhat with Klaudia finding special things to do en route, like walking over every basement grill in the street. Reminded me of my first walks to school in Guernsey, how there has to be a special route to school. Arrived at school and lurked about for a few minutes trying to blend in with the parents. Klaudia showed me the book about ice cream she had been reading. From this I learnt that even spiders like ice cream. Then her "beautiful" (quote Klaudia) teacher turned up, and she went off happily. Then home again to a rested Calliope, who gambolled about the place for a bit before falling asleep on my lap as I worked. Wrote the Skelton Yawngrave stuff for several hours, and broke off to watch Gordon Brown's co
A cat foretold Up early this morning. Calliope rather taking things over today. She is adorable. But very clingy and spent most of the day either playing or sleeping on me, or acting like a cat scarf and draping herself around my neck. Lots of walking about on my laptop keys, and generally being so attention seeking my only tactic was to play with her till she fell asleep, and then I could get on with my work. Tremendously entertaining however. Apart from a great deal of cat handling, had a swim, and made some excellent progress on my book. Heard from Joan who told me about a prophetic dream the night before I got Calliope, about a cat which played tricks, and its owner with a cat's head whose name was Pete. I can only conclude that the coming of Calliope was foretold. Anna is sick, with possible pleurisy, I spoke to her in the afternoon. Last night she had to go to hospital to get help due to shortness of breath. As a result, Anton asked me to take Klaudia to school tomorrow. Mum
Enter Calliope, from a manbag At last something even more attention seeking in the Twitten than I am... Calliope the kitten. A morning mooching around in Brighton, where Lorraine and I bumped into Anton and Anna, and my Godbairns. We saw some of the festival that was going on as the streets had been closed in part of the town. This included bands, and people wandering about with signs saying "free hugs" (I scored one), and lots of children's activities, like chalking the road, and painting Wendy houses. Particularly liked the big green elephants by the Pavilion. Lorraine drove us to Eastbourne for the main business of the day. A visit a lovely Polish (I think) lady, and her family who had cats aplenty. In fact they were mad for cats: there were two litters of kittens, and ten adult cats. The kittens were all extremely pretty, but I handled a few before I chose mine on the basis that it seemed chilled and happy to be handled, and it has beautiful colouring. It is seven wee
Mermaid's treasure Up early and off for a swim first thing. They have finally repaired the heater for the showers and the pool, although it was still not warm. Returned home to write a bit more on my Skelton Yawngrave novel before nipping up the hill to Anton's house to set off for the seaside with Klaudia and Oskar as it was such a beautiful day. There was talk of rock pooling, but the tide was up when we got to the sea. Talking to Klaudia a lot, and discussing shadows and how they follow you. Then on to discovering "mermaid's treasure" by a rock, (mainly shells) as little Oskar boofed cheerfully about the place without fear. After two hours of this, and Klaudia deciding she wanted cuddles: code for being carried as the little princess had had enough of walking. Shortly after being returned to the car my Godchildren slept like babies as Anton and I drove home. Sat in Anton's back garden drinking tea and chatting. Then Anton gave me three big bunches of grapes
Land of the living I'm back in it. Thank God. Woke up and waited for the flashing migraine lights to kick in again. Wonderfully, however, this didn't happen. And I have gradually returned to the land of the living. Once there I spoke to several folks including The French Bloke, Anton, Janet, Katie, and Matty boy and Mum. When not doing this got back on track with my Sketlon Yawngrave story. Went for a couple of short walks in a beautiful early autumn day. It's almost worth having migraine to be able to totter about like a normal person again. After two days writhing in darkened rooms, returning to normal is wonderful. Even managed to straighten out my reading glasses, which I stepped on while lurching about in a migraine daze. All's well again.
Ditto day Sprang out of bed and looked at myself in the mirror. As I did so, the weird spangly migraine lights kicked in again, and the result was that today was another write off. Spent the morning sleeping on my sofa and listening to an audio book. In the afternoon watched The Two Towers DVD in between snoozing. Painful, and now profoundly boring. Bah.
Barbie combing Great day' s work today. Making strides with the second draft of Skelton. In the afternoon off to the gym, which is like some kind of Victorian public school. The pool is still as cold as the English Channel and the showers freezing. I am going to get some money back. Spoke to Anton, fresh from a challenging walking adventure in darkest Scotland and popped up the road to babysit Klaudia for twenty minutes. She started school yesterday, and is remarkably chilled about it and said her teacher was "beautiful". Klaudia busy with her dolls, and as Anton left he told her that I wanted to play Barbies with her. I was not alone. The kittens Lenin and Pinkie Barbie Ariel found themselves repeatedly being dumped in the doll's bed, and lifted about the place, which they endure with complete resignation. I was told to comb a Barbie's hair with a brush. They do get in a tangle those Barbies. Klaudia showed me Ariel, who is a mermaid doll. I needed to know as I
A little Twister Up before seven, and straight to work. Busy ticking things off my mindmaps, which are now blu tacked to the wall by my desk. Completed my article, did some billing, caught up with some correspondence, finalised my poetry manuscript, submitted some work for the little Guernsey magazine Written... All before 12 noon. The poetry manuscript is absolutely bloody finally finished, and it is called Twister and is a mere 21 poems long. But every one a winner. Bob called and he is worried about his daughter who has started school and some of the other little girls are being horrid to her. In the afternoon off to have a 45 minute deep tissue massage. Fantastic. I am a complete convert, despite it being a little painful at times. It does tend to make me sleepy though. And after lurching home, I slept heavily for an hour. In the evening walked across town to Simon's house, where we had a nice supper with his nice wife Carol and then talked business for a couple of hours. A fa
A cold shower and a happy day Up with the sparrows to work on my Pooran Desai piece. Though the sparrows contributed little. Then, after a long chat with Lorraine, got a grip on about fifty things whirling around my brain and produced three mindmaps. These instantly decluttered my head, leaving me feeling calm, in control, and clear. Lorraine has taught me in the last few weeks that when you create a to do list, put everything in the past tense. So it would be something like "established a target figure for income" or "finished laundry". Somehow it really works. After all this worthy stuff, a very chilled day indeed. A phone call or two re cats. But no luck. Perhaps I should be new age about this. I have asked the universe for a cat, and simply believe that one will manifest itself. Went walkabout in a sunny Brighton, pausing to pick up a book for Anton by famous cartoonist Gilbert Shelton (of Furry Freak Brothers fame) who was doing a personal signing session in Da
A wild cat chase Today was cat day. Scored a local advertiser rag, where there were cats aplenty. Fortunately Lorraine was with me, and drove me off to one place where there was a kitten, a fluffy little tabby, which looked nice enough, but was a bit scabby, and something about this slightly repelled me. Other kittens contacts proved elusive. Amazing how many folks will advertise something only to be unobtainable. Lorraine then drove me to the RSPCA where I filled out a form to possibly adopt a second hand cat. (Or as I used to write for The Blue Cross pet charity "a cat that through no fault of its own needs another start in life"). Before I can adopt a used cat however I have to have my house inspected by an RSPCA visitor for catskin rugs etc. Quite heartrending to walk past the dog pens. I don't even like dogs much. But unlike the rehoming centres I had visited before, where all the dogs had long faces (lurchers, greyhounds and the like) these were likable dogs with no
One Planet, two beers Up early and preparing to interview Pooran Desai of One Planet Living. He is a sustainability pioneer, I'd met him once before, at a meal instigated by the Cat in the Hat. There is a new housing development on the other side of the station called One Brighton, which has been built to One Planet guidelines, and is the UK's (and possibly the world's) most sustainable residential development. It is zero carbon, and has a host of features that make it utterly spiffy, even the concrete it is made with is the greenest concrete available, made with recycled aggregate. I met Pooran at the marketing suite, and he quickly showed me around the show appartment, then popped around the corner so I could interview him in a quiet cafe. Tremendously nice man. And very positive too, saying Martin Luther King didn't say "I have a nightmare", but "I have a dream". Among lots of other stuff, I cheekily asked him about his OBE, and laughing he said i
Too cute Up early and thinking of New York. Got to work, and now a smidge away from having my slimmed down 22 poem ms ready to send out and get cracking with. Spoke to Simon at some length this morning too, about various sustainability projects, and we'll see each other tomorrow - after I've done my interview with Pooran. Apparently the Cat with the Hat will be down in Brighton too. Sloped off for a swym, the pool was freezing, and the showers had no hot water. I spoke to someone in the gym and the spoke back, which is a bit of a first. Now listening to Dance Dance Dance by Haruki Murakami as an audiobook. I love Murakami's work, but this one seems to have slipped through the PK net. So I need to get it read. Good so far, and has a cat, albeit a dead one. His work makes me feel strangely calm. Got a note from the local radio, and a producer is going to call me about an idea I wrote to them with. Watch this space. In the evening Lorraine came around for a short while, and sh
The Queen of Higgat Sprang out of the airnest at a little after eight for breakfast with Mum and Mase. After the first cup of coffee Mase talking at length about films, including the one about "the gorilla guy" aka King Kong, which he rates (I do too). He also lent me a DVD of V for Vendetta, which is a film, I'd never seen. After breakfast Mum and I pored over her sketch of Skelton Yawngrave, which I want to use it in the forthcoming Skelton Yawngrave website, as part of my world domination tactic. She also read the first couple of chapters of the first draft, as it describes what Skelton looks like. Pleased to hear her laughing a bit when she read it. Although in fairness she is not 10. Then off down the Northern line to see Sophie in Highgate (which today she was pronouncing Higgat ). I collected her from her house, where she works with her assistant doing important PR stuff. Then we set off for lunch in a cafe restaurant in Queens Wood, the park behind her home, and h
A click A note from Richard Fleming saying that there was to be a new anthology of Guernsey poetry, which I will be in. Very happy about this - it has been a good year for my work in the island. Up to see Mum and Mase today. Avidly reading V for Vendetta on the train, and the time passed with me absorbed by the paranoid, post-apocalyptic gloom of the story. Happily the headache caused by a seized up neck, disappeared with a "click" as I turned abruptly to look out of the window. Mum once cracked her neck on a tube while her mouth was open, amplifying the sound alarmingly. Lurked about with Mum and Mase, chatting lots this afternoon and evening. Mum looking really well, and we three spent some time looking at her paintings, a few of which had been expertly framed by her former dealer. Everyone off to bed early, and I finished V for Vendetta, before clambering into the airnest.
England prevails This afternoon, took advantage of a non-raining day to go for a walk by the sea, then lurked happily in a second hand bookshop. Also popped into Dave's Comics to buy V for Vendetta which I ended up reading avidly this evening. Graphic novels are for grown ups too. I never really believed it when people said this before. This one is very bleak and is set in a post nuclear war England, where a Nazi-like Fascist government has taken over the remains of the society. An anarchist weirdo dressed as Guy Fawkes starts attacking the government, whose say "England Prevails" to one another in a "Heil Hitler"ish way. Strangely compelling. The graphic novel form is great because you can show images which are not immediately connected with the words - so you can get a film like voice over effect. This dissonance then creates something in between, a third meaning, which gives the graphic novel format a richness. I've always liked strip cartoons and have
Return of the fishes Woke up at five this morning. Eventually, got out of bed and did some work. After a brief snooze later, Lorraine and I went for breakfast with Brian, Anna, Anton and the children to Bill's : a great place for Sunday breakfast. Lovely fresh fruit juices of their own devising, and handfuls of herbs decorating each plate of high quality breakfast snap. Anton, Brian and myself feeling a little subdued, but it was lovely to see Anna and the children. Klaudia is starting school next week, and this is hard to imagine. She told me she likes Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, and I enjoyed seeing her plop a tomato, which Oskar had been playing with alongside his Wall-e toy, into Anton's juice. Walked home from Bill's with Klaudia on my shoulders, which was surprisingly tiring. As we progressed, Klaudia made up a song which went "nose on your head... you're dead!" (repeat x50). At my place I gave my Godbairns some small wooden turtles I bought in Crete. W
Happy days I'd set my alarm early and got up to complete and file my piece on Crodyon, before returning to bed. Then after a light breakfast with Lorraine, off to the gym for a swym. It felt great to be swimming, although they have the water quite coolish in their pool. Anton told me this was good as it burns off more calories, but the involuntary yelping as I got in wasn't very dignified. Then met Lorraine again to do a spot of shopping. Home again I made a large salad and attended to one or two bits while Lorraine read the Guardian. Then a long afternoon sleep, where I woke feeling rested and generally cheery. Watched the X Factor, which is despicable junk TV etc. but nevertheless compulsive viewing, and Lorraine likes it too. I suddenly realised that I felt happy. Recent glooms and twiching seem to be abating, which is rather nice. In the evening went out with Lorraine, Brian and Anton as part of Anton's ongoing birthmonth celebrations. Incessant rain tonight. Two drinks
Friday feeling Friday, and my last day at Reuben's place. Off to Waterloo with violent stomach cramps and experiencing waves of nausea, to the point where I nearly got off the train. Perhaps it was the large slabs of American style meat. However things settle down enough to go into work, and although I felt very sick off and on during the day, I did not actually hurl. This was fortunate as the creative department of Reuben's agency went off for an ironic sit down fish and chips and chapagne for lunch. I was invited too, which was nice, although I passed on the champagne, as my guts were not yet ready for this. Curiously the F&Cs seemed to lessen the quease. Had fun at lunch, and there are some nice folks at this agency. Talking to a lay preacher on one side, and a woman who had lived in Japan on the other. And Reuben being funny and cheery as usual. Bob called just as we were leaving the restuarant, and he told me about how Millie has had her first day in school this week i
In The French House Finally had a good night's sleep, and so felt much brighter today. Into Waterloo and had a pleasant day in Reuben's agency - working on stuff to do with arthritis, autism and fundraising. Seems nice and very natural to be working with Reuben again. Like it was with Kate. Also negotiated a weekend deadline for my Croydon article (which I have found impossible to finish on the train) and also set up an interview next week with Pooran Desai, who is a eco-housing pioneer in the UK, which should be interesting. I have met him already and he is a very nice chap. Talked to Mum too, about what Skelton Yawngrave looks like. She is going to do a picture for my Sketon Yawngrave website. Suddenly much more relaxed, as after relaxing so much in Crete I felt capsized by obscure stresses since my return to the UK. Met up with Anton in Soho after work in The French House on Dean Street. I'm sure I've mentioned it before on this blog, but it is a lovely place, and o
White rabbit day Cursing myself as my alarm did not ring, and I woke up late and feeling exhausted and still vaguely coldish after a terrible night's sleep. Threw on some clothes and headed up to Waterloo, head hanging in shame and trying to work on my article on the train. Nobody really cared that I was late, in fact it was a mild mannered day with Reuben back in the office, and we went out for a fast Thai lunch and catch up. It is heartening to see him be an excellent creative director and fielding calls over yellow curries. Although there wasn't much to do this afternoon, I've been asked back for the rest of the week which is good for the Kenny coffers. Home fairly easily and working on my blasted Croydon article after watching the US version of Hells Kitchen with Gordon Ramsay swearing at unfortunates in New York. He made his reality show chefs sift through garbage bins of discarded food at to demonstrate how much they had wasted. Amazing the humiliations people will en
Waterloo and cat terrifying Up with the sparrows, feeling vaguely coldy, and headed off to Waterloo to Reuben's agency. I am doing a couple of days freelancing, though Reuben wasn't there today. Quite nice to be back in the South Bank, near where I worked in my IBM years. Pleasant agency and nice people, and interesting work too. Also spoke to Simon, and the Cat with the Hat today. Walking back to Waterloo station after work, I discovered Brian outside the Fire Station pub with some chums. He was quite well refreshed, and trying to entice me to stay to drink with them. However I didn't, as I was being a responsible Godparent as today is both Bob and Anton's birthday (they are like two peas in a pod) and I had promised to babysit for local Virgo Anton. Sat downstairs at Anton's place trying to finish my Croydon article, but feeling braindead and continually diverted by their two new kittens tumbling about the place. Fortunately the bairns upstairs slept like bab
Good vibrations A slightly sluggish start. Coughing a little in the night and feeling non-specifically wussy today. However, after a spot of shopping, and a few calls, I made off to Croydon after lunch. I've never had anything other than sucky times in Croydon . But this time I met a very nice woman called Kia who is head of environment and sustainability, whom I interviewed for ON TRACK. She almost converted me to Croydon and the surprisingly green agenda of its council. Almost. Home and gripped by a sudden heavy lethargy, and slept soundly on my sofa for an hour at five. Then sprang up again to start writing up the interview. I had met Kia in a cafe and recorded it in there. Fortunately I can just hear her, but my own wafflings are almost inaudible. Good thing it wasn't the other way round. Then off to the Hanbury in Kemptown with Lorraine in her car. I had no real idea where it was, so we spent some time wandering about in the far reaches of Kemptown , fortunately