Dreadful nightmares last night. Tsunami dream where I first saw a huge wave engulfing Brighton, and then was indoors again, realising that I lived up the hill and might be okay. Opened a window to discover my house had moved right next to the water and a vast wave was rushing towards me.

Next one was that I was at a computer and my inbasket was full of email with no subject or sender. They appeared as black bands across the page, I clicked on one and the screen went black. I knew then the email was about death. I started awake, certain in my half asleep state that I was about to die that minute.

Woke up this morning feeling extremely rough. No idea what is wrong, perhaps some sort of chest infection, feel completely drained and have intermittent fever. Went to the station and sat in the train waiting for it to leave. But after a few minutes I felt very poor and dizzy. Got off the train before it left and returned to bed and slept for several hours. Worrying about work and the deadlines I am failing to meet, had a few negotiations with work people during the day -- but fortunately was left alone for long stretches.

One thing is sure: I am heartily sick of this procession of minor ailments.

This sort of day makes me fatalistic and introspective & I despise myself when I am fatalistic and introspective.

And it makes me think of astrology. Fortunately I know that I am towards the end of a lengthy square from saturn to my natal sun and mars, a transit classically supposed to lower vitality and frustrate progress. I know this because I can cast horoscopes, a skill which promotes fatalism and introspection. I hope however that this frustrating influence is on the wane, perhaps soon I can stop whining on my blog and do something interesting.