under another sun

Mum reported a better night, which I was pleased about. Not much else to report. Mum slept during the day again, but is seeming much more herself. Maheena popped in. I like her very much, and she is very kind to Mum.  Another kind text from Wynford. The Tobster called from a snowy Deviation Road. Lovely texts from Rosie this morning too. I went for a walk to Stanmore, meaning stony mere or pool. Looked at the outside of the church, and the ruin of the older church next to it.  Had a cup of coffee in Stanmore's Caffè Nero. Tried to have some thoughts. Failed. Spoke to Lorraine severally because I am missing her. Watched Midsomer Murders with Mum, and weirdly quite enjoyed it. Chelsea played today and disgraced themselves by drawing to Burnley. Otherwise cooked, dispensed drugs, chatted to Mum. All as well as can be expected. Some of the glories of Stanmore.  

Mum had another poor night, which worries me. I slept fairly well, and thankfully my sore throat remained just a sore throat. Mum seems a smidge brighter, but is needing two sleeps during the day to compensate for lousy nights. After a light lunch, we listened  to a The Rest is History Podcast  about the Incas for an hour, and she went to bed again.  Walking through Stonegrove Park this afternoon, I realised the importance of  remaining buoyant, and even I don't need Lorraine to tell me that a cheery nurse makes a person feel much better than a gloomy one. I'm doing my best.  No egret in the park. I walked past the spot singing 'egrets I've seen a few, but then again too few to mention...' to myself. Then up Canon's Drive to look at the pond and some of the huge houses around there. One of the streets near the pond is called Lake View, which is a bit ambitious. At the end of Canon's Drive is North London Collegiate where Mum went for a short while having le...

Middle of the night idea: radical decency. A radical refusal to be baited or pushed into polarised opinions by wannabe despots or bot farms or amoral tech bros.    Up before Mum. A chat with my lovely wife, who I am missing lots. A chat with Ben who found a parcel in Mum's green bin. Wynford popped in too.   For poor Mum another exhausting night of coughing and getting up for the toilet. She needed another sleep after breakfast, while I filed the pile of papers on the dining room table. However this afternoon Mum slept less and seemed brighter, and a bit more like her usual self making me feel very cautiously optimistic. Otherwise I've managed basics like making her drink and eat more.   Later I walked through Stonegrove Park and the puddle, which has receded yesterday was back. Weirdly there was an egret in it. I have never seen an egret in London before, perhaps the chief suspect in the missing goldfish mystery is shadowing me.  Sore throaty and sorry for myse...

Breakfast with Lorraine. Sylwia arrived, telling us she's going to visit her Mum in Poland in the next day or so. Lorraine set off to do Rhyme Time before going around to Pat and Maureen's place, to explain to Maureen that the lunch plans had been cancelled as Uncle Steve could come because of yellow warning of torrential rain. Luckily this blow softened by Beth and Enzo visiting.  I chugged up to Mill Hill, carrying a large bag to cover all eventualities. Bus to Edgware then I went straight to the Lane End Surgery. Turns out the sample I took there on Monday wasn't marked as urgent so the results will take up to a week. The receptionist was very kind when I explained the urgency.  Mum's throat sounding better, her eyes less sore, but she was coughing lots last night apparently. Lots of sleeping today. I filled in another online triage form, and then warmed up some soup and made cups of teas. Soon after Mum wanted another doze. I went out to do some food shopping. Stran...

Unusually bad night's sleep. Enjoyed breakfast with Lorraine, and general pottering about and a spell at my desk, plus the good clean fun of laundry. Lorraine was doing personal training and so on. I spoke to Mum during the day. Wynford called me this afternoon, and in the evening I spoke for 45 mins with Ben. Lovely how Mum's neighbours are so full of care for her. Ben thinks Mum should be doing Tai Chi. A longish walk by the sea on a bright and sunny day. The sun puts a different complexion on things but I felt heavy hearted. I called Carl and it was great to talk to him, a touch of the Watson common sense was exactly what was needed. Home, and Lorraine was back with Beth and Enzo. And our wildlife pond had frogspawn in it, that Lorraine brought over from Beth's garden. Beth is well, and had a long business call this afternoon with her work folks. Meanwhile Enzo literally a bouncing baby, and bouncing up and down with excitement quite a lot of the time. I bounced him on m...

Up early to try to manage things. I emailed the doctor's surgery for an appointment. Then off into Edgware to buy mum some new knickers in case she had to be seen. I went into a boutique in its closing sale, and also discovered that Sainsbury's sold them too. In Edgware's Sainsbury's you have to scan your receipt to be let out of the self service area, but something went wrong and the alarms went off as I went through holding a four pack of ladies undies. Home and made mum some breakfast, then went outside for a bit as I took a call from Health in Mind who are an NHS organisation, I'd decided to try. I had an hour's call walking about the streets talking about managing anxiety and phobias -- except much of it was verbally repeating the information I'd already twice supplied online. At the end of the conversation they said there was some online stuff that might help, plus they will send me a list of low cost therapists in my area. Somewhat useful and I will i...

Mum had quite a disturbed nights sleep, and I was listening to her and so was also disturbed. No wonder she was a bit out of it when I turned up yesterday. I got up fairly early, as the rain recommenced its hosing down outside. Mum slept in somewhat, and when she did get up I made us a brunch of several teas, avocado, sourdough toast and eggs, she flagged a bit and went back to bed for the afternoon, sleeping soundly. While she was in bed, and it wasn't raining for an hour, I went for a walk down to Edgware, doing a therapeutic circuit or two of Stonegrove Park where there was a large and photogenic puddle. Bought a few provisions in Edgware then mooched back, and sat quietly till she got up.  Mum was a bit perkier in the afternoon, and we drank more teas, and I cooked, but she wasn't hungry. We agreed that I'm going to book a doctor's appointment. If we're going to go with mum by taxi. That's as far as my plans go so far.   Missing Lorraine and I'm keen to ...

Up early and a fast breakfast, swapping Valentine's cards with Lorraine. Then off to Edgware this sunny Valentine's morning. En route, Mum texted to say she wasn't seeing Robert as planned as she was feeling unwell. I found her very sleepy with the evil cough bug, a sore throat, very sore eyes and so on.  Soon after I arrived, Wynford popped in, and Maheena dropped in soon after I returned from shopping in Sainsbury's and Superdrug. I also spoke to Lorraine and Toby.  Mum fast asleep when I got back from Edgware. She was discombobulated when she woke up thinking she'd slept through the night. I gave her some teas and a hot cross bun and paracetamol, and then in the evening I cooked a bolognese with turkey mince. We watched TV but the signal was erratic. Mum had some wine, and we watched Dirty Dancing which for some reason I'd never seen. I was probably feeling irritable, but the lead female character I found insipid.    Mum fed the foxes and slowly got ready for...

Friday the 13th. Up early a glance at Kansas before making breakfast and Lorraine and I moved things from a to b now that the carpets have been laid. The house smells of weird new carpets.   I called Mum, and she was unwell. A bit later Wynford phoned me saying he'd seen her and I resolved to go up tomorrow. We went on  quick trip to the Long Man brewery and bought Steve the sensible present of some beer, and a beer glass, for his belated birthday. Then I walked by the sea listening to more of the Three Body Problem . Home and Lorraine and I did a bit more of the a to b business.   To the Boot this evening and met assorted cheery rebooters there. Andy, just returned from cycling in Vietnam for ten days, Adele and Patrick, Steve happy to be back from Leicester and enjoying having done some invigilation work: a cookery exam, with the children doing all kinds of exotic nosh. Also Chris and Julie. Not seen Chris since Christmas Eve when we were in the Boot with Mum. Tonight L...

Speedy Gonzales style, Lorraine and I got up at seven and immediately began hauling things around the house before the carpet layers came. Meanwhile Lorraine also dropped her car off to be serviced. When they arrived the men were moaning about the weight of the carpets, and the layout of the rooms,  the piano etc. but once Lorraine returned from the garage she employed her special powers and made everything smooth. She is brilliant. Especially with people who are doing jobs for us, which for some reason makes me feel cringey.  Carpets were laid in the living room (grey blue), the stairs and landing (green) and our big bedroom (a slightly reddish dark blue). We're pleased with the results, but now have to move everything back to place.   Otherwise a day at the aesthetic coalface. Life drawing for a couple of hours, a woman at last although athletic and slim, which is, the consensus among my predominantly female classmates, less interesting than curves. I agree. Home again....

Snoozed in this morning after a lively night. Called mum a couple of times as she is unwell with the horrid sore throat cough bug. Lorraine seeing Dawn after she went to her personal trainer.  One of my poems, called Gardening with my Wife accepted this morning by  Channel Magazine . They are based in Ireland and so they pay, due to Ireland being a civilised country that values culture. It's a short poem, and one of the few that mentions Lorraine. Like many other writers, what gets me writing is what's unresolved or in some way troubling, so Lorraine rarely makes the cut. Out for a walk this afternoon. The business of replacing all the pebbles on the beach going on slowly. At the Seaford end of the bay, the sand is still visible. I'm not sure I quite understand the process, but the pebbles defend the beach and absorb the power of the waves. The little beauties keep chaos at bay. Somewhat rainy towards the end of my walk but I wasn't utterly drenched. Otherwise I was li...

Out of bed fairly late for a Monday. Calls with Mum, who has a sore throat and a cough. She was able to pick her prescription up however, and I am going to arrange to have them delivered from henceforth. Otherwise a decent morning's writing. Slow progress on the Kansas story and it feels like hard work.  This makes me wonder if it's any good, as most of the published stories have slipped out easily. Then a few housekeeping jobs, and a walk.  Something has been eating the goldfish. There are only  handful left now. I did see an egret there recently looking down his long beak into the water, and I've seen foxes and cats taking an interest.   Lorraine spending much of the day with Maureen, and they called around on Beth. I made off to The Evening Star, where I met Messrs Hoibak and Hartley for several beers. Mark is about to become a grandfather, as his lovely daughter Melissa has passed her due date. Peter radiating good cheer as usual.  We drifted down to Fato a ...

Shopping first thing, then as we are going to have new carpets next week, Lorraine and I spent a few hours moving things from the rooms which are about to be carpeted into other rooms. Unearthed my dusty wedding shoes which have a very pointy middle ages look among the dead sea scrolls, and other lost treasures.   A walk to get up to ten thousand paces, although I had done lots in the house already walking things from room to room. Listening to a rest is history podcast about Romans vs Carthaginians in Spain. I know next to nothing about the Carthaginians, who were big dogs in the western Mediterranean for centuries until 146BC when things all went horribly wrong with the Romans.  Just as I reached home, Toby called. He said that, factoring in the wind chill, it was minus 35 in Toronto. He'd been out for a coffee but it was almost too cold go outside.  He's happily installed back home now living in an echoey minimalism as he awaits eclectic Frasier-style furniture (source...

By bus to Brighton just after noon. Unusually, it was not pouring with rain. I got off at the Sealife Centre, and walked along the front, enjoying the crashing heavy waves, and the seagulls flocking above the hardy tourists on the pebbles.  I cut up to The Hole In the Wall, the hidden local's pub Anton and I have managed to overlook over the years. Met Anton for a leisurely afternoon, setting the world to rights over several beers and a couple of games of dominoes. The woman behind the bar was wearing a teeshirt with skeletons on it, and I asked her about it, and she replied a bit warily as if I was trying to chat her up. As I payed for the beer I found myself saying, 'I like skeletons', confirming all her worst suspicions of me.      We moved on to another pub, then to The Hampton where we ate some Indian street food, and played another game of bones, at which I beat Anton like a ginger stepchild. Meanwhile I heard about his time with Camino in snowy Spain, and lear...

More on the story this morning. Nothing about the poetry competition. Two walks today, by the sea. Later at the end of the road I saw a tree where I counted16 magpies. Never seen that before.  The Boot tonight, not having been there for a few weeks. A cheery evening with Adele and Patrick, Carole, Mandy, and Matthew, who I chatted to lots, and learned he had lots of sailing experience, working on an Isle of Wight lifeboat among other things. I knew he lived on a boat, but didn't realise how deeply the sea ran in him. Adele and Patrick smartly dressed having been at a funeral. Mandy won a local photography competition so was pleased.  A mischief of magpies  

Woke up after a nightmare, where I had suddenly remembered that I had murdered two people, and felt (still in the dream) utterly horrified at myself.  Up and off to Melissa's drawing class... Another older male model. I tried something different: not taking my pencil off the page and trying to draw in a continuous line, and not be afraid to make mistakes. I quite enjoyed it. Off this afternoon to see Stacy, to get my hair cut. Raining of course, so I got home with wet hat hair. Stacy less stressed than when I last saw him. Happy to be staying in tonight, as the weather was foul again. Below some sketches keeping the pencil on the page, and Sydney Street in the rain.

To Edgware a  slow journey and an infernal wait at Mill Hill Broadway station so I didn't get there till almost one o'clock. Had printed out a hard copy of Kansas, and did some proofing and rewriting. Couldn't listen to anything as my earphones no longer work, having left the case on the bus yesterday.  The new key box outside Mum's house is up and working, and I confirmed on the journey up that the lifeline people had the code should they ever need it. All well. Also talking to Mum about the power of attorney business we will set up. She is going to ask Wynford and one other if they will witness it. Good to see Mum looking well,  her eye much improved now, and what's left covered up artfully by makeup. We zoomed off to The Waggon and Horses, where we had a bite to eat and a drink. One of the regulars, Tim, was there sitting in Paul's old seat. We chatted to him too as he was on his own and Steve and other pals were elsewhere. He told me he had thought about mov...

Up early, and a calmer start to a day of hosing rain. Lorraine off to her physical trainer. I slunk indoors. Still no news about the Poetry Canon pamphlet winners, now over a week late. Luckily I've got the Kansas short story on the go to distract me. Spoke to Mum to confirm I'm coming up tomorrow. Late in the afternoon, I bussed to Eastbourne to meet a cheery, if dripping, Robin in the Dolphin, which we quickly left for The Dew Drop inn across the road, for inexplicably the beer in the Dolphin was all off. I ordered a pint of Old Man, and it tasted like vinegar.  Over bags of peanuts and crisps bought with our meagre podcast profits.We chatted about the podcast and tentatively explored the idea of a new project over a couple of drinks.  Bus took me home in no time, and I was happy to be out of the rain and booting onto the gold sofa with Lorraine for the evening. 

Up at seven, feeling like starting the week with a good dose of early morning writing. By springing out of bed, I woke Lorraine up. This was fortunate, as we immediately got a call from Maureen saying Pat was on the floor having slipped out of bed. We drove around, and popped him back in, and afterwards enjoyed a spell by the seaside, looking at the lovely colours of the early morning. Home again, and I got on with writing more of Kansas . The first draft is almost done, but the end still needs work. It comes in at about six thousand words. I also called Mum arranging to see her on Wednesday.  A walk this afternoon, unremarkable, but I was listening to a the rest is politics interview with former labour leader Neil Kinnock, which was quite touching. I always liked him, and he seemed a man of principle and sometimes raw courage.  Lorraine and I in the warmth tonight, eating chicken stew I'd made, which was rather good. We are watching Dexter now, and enjoying it. Early to bed....

Running about this morning, as we were entertaining this afternoon. I zoomed to Morrisons, then spent the rest of the day drinking Prosecco with Guy, Tim and Tanya and tucking into the Guy's mushroom pate starter, and Lorraine's exemplary lasagnas (one meat, one veggie) and Tanya's almondy pudding. Catherine unable to make it, which was a shame. Guy and Tim have been travelling lots to Whitley Bay where Guy's mum died recently. Tim becoming prominent in the swimming club, Tanya indexing like fury and becoming expert in the economics of Singapore. A general sense of putting the world to rights, which you can with old friends. 

I was up fairly early, having dreamt that Enzo could speak, and that he said 'Harry Potter!' First time Enzo has been in one of my dreams. Spoke to Mum to remind her that a key box was being affixed to her wall today. They had given me a four hour window. They arrived literally at the last minute, and in the afternoon I spoke to the guy who was installing it and Mum.  Made breakfast. Yvonne came by to take me out for coffee, pausing to give Lorraine an excellent hand-me-down toy for Enzo, a sort of animal piano that when you press them make animal noises, it barks, and miaows, and oinks and moos, and is hours of fun.  Yvonne drove us off to Mamoosh in Newhaven, where we enjoyed coffee, and a chat, and I had a pain au raison. I bought one to bring home for Lorraine too, which she had later. Also managed to give Yvonne back the Santa beard I've had in my study for about 13 months. Then Lorraine into Seaford walked into Seaford where picked up my prescriptions, while Lorraine ...

My best night sleep in days. Woke up feeling chipper, made breakfast for Lorraine and I then slid off to Life Drawing class. A nice model called Sadie, it was her first time modelling so was a bit nervous. She was a history of art graduate, who was feeling her way back into work after having children. My drawings weren't as good as I hoped, but switching to coloured pencils again helped. I was drawing next to Adele, which was fun. Helped Melissa tidy up afterwards. She's a good egg and rather a kind person I think. In the late afternoon, Steve, Adele and Patrick arrived for a Shakespeare session. Today's play, All's Well That Ends Well . A pretty unpleasant play all round. With a little bit of comedy in it. Helena is in love with Bertram, who is high born and noble and barely knows she's alive. However, by managing to cure the King of France of his anal fistula, she is rewarded by her choice of men. She chooses Bertram who marries her, does not consummate the relati...

Joined the wide awake club at six, which was a tad peeving. Sat in bed watching TV drinking instant coffee, then showered and packed up. Decided to treat myself to a half decent breakfast instead of the grim hotel food, and found somewhere called Deja Brew. After I went for a fairly aimless mooch round and about, and another look at the Mersey. this is where the Manchester Ship canal starts too. I noticed lots of fire engines outside a low rise block by the river.  Hopped on a fairly empty train at Runcorn, and pootled down to Euston, then Victoria where I missed the Lewes train by a minute, and then home straightforwardly enough. Journey took about five hours in all, but was stress free. I arrived home at 4:30ish, replacing the Mersey with the Channel.  Very happy to see Lorraine and be at home. Lorraine preparing for her pottery class. I then spoke to Mum,  and deciding I was too knackered to cook, and went to trawlers for fish and chips. Scoffed these on the gold sofa....

In the hotel, the late jalfrezi with Carl, a fiery making itself felt through the night, but the bed was comfortable enough. Walked out into the murdery bit, and discovered my door had been slightly open all night.  Greeted by a scowling woman at reception, who demanded 'What do you want?' I explained I was staying there and wanted some breakfast. She was the cook, so blurted out I wanted scrambled eggs and beans. I watched one of the maintenance guys eating his toast over the meagre display of cheese and ham. Self service faux coffee, and toast with sunflower spread. To be fair the plate covered in rubbery scrambled eggs and about a tin of beans. Back to my room to do some work on Kansas.  Then off to explore the old town of Runcorn. Looked at murals under the bridge, which were really rather lovely, see below, and marvelled at the gorgeous gold of the Chedi outside of the temple, an exotic contrast to the Englishness of the scene around it. I then had a coffee in Costa, and ...

Kissed Lorraine, and made off for Runcorn. Felt unusually stressed this morning, not helped by clowns on the line between Clapham Junction and East Croydon causing delays. I relaxed once I was aboard the Runcorn train, which is only couple of hours from St Pancras. Tried to find the Campanile Hotel just by Runcorn Station but couldn't. Google maps had a breakdown saying, barking out, turn left, turn right, turn left, while I stood on the pavement. Turns out the hotel has new owners.  The reception area staffed by one person, the duty manager. She told me to expect a 'motel' feel. The room, when I got there, very basic but the sheets were clean. Outside was a bit of lawn, and a few trees and the roundabout. It looked like where a body is found in mysterious circumstance in an ITV crime drama. I went back to reception after a short cat nap and awaited Carl. The duty manger, a pleasant woman called Kit told me she had degree in law, and was very chatty. I said about the murder...

Peaceful day, although a bit low on energy. Counting our blessings though, which we do on a regular basis. A lovely marriage, a lovely house in a pleasant little town, lots of people we love and care about. Lorraine and I getting organised for our respective trips tomorrow. Spoke to Mum, who was on good form. In the afternoon we collected Pat and Maureen and brought them home, for a Sunday roast, and we put some in Tupperware for them tomorrow. Pat a bit more mobile, and the transfer from wheelchair to car to wheelchair to chair and back fairly smooth. Maureen enjoying a change of scene, and quickly boofed onto the gold sofa awaiting cups of tea. After dinner, we all started watching the Magnificent Seven as I have been thinking about cowboys lately.   Robin had got together an archive episode for Planet Poetry. I'd suggested we repeat the Danez Smith interview, given the Trump-inspired carnage in Minneapolis. Even Danez's 'Afropessimism' seems a missive from a more opt...

Sunny, pleasant day. Lorraine and I sorting a few bits out around the house. Beth and Enzo popping in. Lorraine went to see Pat and Maureen at tea time for a game of bingo, which I cooked at home. Pat given more claps when he came into the room, which is lovely.  We have lots of tiny black fungus flies in the house from flowerpots. Having researched it, we are going to buy some nematodes to put in the pots, which eat the larvae. Chatting to Mum we discussed the new problem of giant, mutated nematodes slithering out of the pots at night. Like trying not to picture a pink elephant, trying to ignore the wretched Live Canon pamphlet competition keeps being on my mind. Results are announced on Monday, but as I heard nothing today, I've obviously not got it as winners are usually tipped off in advance. I find being continuously shortlisted galling. A simple yes or no takes up less mental bandwidth. As ever it is the hope that kills you. Went for a couple of walks. I downloaded The Three ...

Writing Kansas this morning and using Chat GPT which I am using as a fast way of understanding the geography, and history of Kansas, then known as an Unorganized Territory, in the early 1820s. Now that I am a --ahem-- mature man, whose own life and recollections span the 20th and 21st centuries, the nineteenth century seems quite close.  Then I went to hang out with Pat, while Lorraine took Maureen for a blood test. Chatting with him, making him a cup of tea and laughing at an estate agent's haircut on some long running daytime TV show featuring  property developers buying down at heel properties and doing them up and selling them at a profit. Home again, and then Delores sent me some of the work she had been doing, on which I offered  comments and tweaks, which took a while and was an unpleasant return to copywriting. Then off for a longish walk to shake it all off. A pleasant evening in the Boot with today's cast of Adele and Patrick, Helen and Andy, and Andy. Talking l...

Up and off to life drawing. Melissa a lovely tutor as ever. An older male model. I enjoyed myself and halfway through took out some coloured pencils and then the whole thing felt therapeutic and fun.  Scuttled home and did quite a lot of work on Kansas, the story will be about 7k long I think. The only think it is lacking is a hair-raising end, but I am writing towards something, and it will be interesting to find out what happens.  Listening to a podcast about Mary Queen of Scots, managed to mostly dodge the rain. Wearing my waterproof over trousers. Spoke to Mum, who'd been to the boring club, which happens every Thursday. She also sorted out her car this week which had loose electrics and needed some adjustment to the brakes. Given that it had its MOT and passed with flying colours recently, one wonders what those clowns are playing at.  For us, a quiet night. Lorraine back from looking after Enzo, while Beth had an appointment. I enjoyed listening to Patrick on Crozie...

Walking, pressing on with Kansas off and on most of the day. Lorraine off to her pottery class tonight, and enjoying it. She made two pots today.  A site in my Facebook feed, allowing you to you upload cat pictures or family photos and AI dresses the people or pets to make it seem like a classic portrait. This is a picture of Brian and Calliope. Calliope a bit large. But I like their neckwear.   

A nice note from Charlotte about my shortlisting for Gordon Road, and then another forwarding some publicity from Bloodaxe, with a quote from me about one of their poets. I wish they'd chosen a quote that made sense, but you can't have everything.  So having sent off a story yesterday, I picked up another tale that I started about two and a half years ago, and now can see a way of resolving it. I was surprised when I reread it, how much I liked it. I need a few more short stories to complete a MS of short stories, the bulk of which have already been published. This one seems a good idea as it is historical, being set in 1822, so provides another dimension.

Made a Monday morning list of things to do this morning, and did some of them. Today is blue Monday, but I didn't feel blue at all. Not having to work really helps.  Longish chat with Mum. She is okay, and her face is less swollen now. I sent one of my shorter short stories, called The Merger to a new anthology of stories.  I'd not read it properly for a couple of years, and I liked it more than I did before. I also completed a bit of writing for a friend of Richard's called Phil Dunn, sending him a draft of his book blurb. I am not sure how I found myself writing this, but it's done. Went for a walk. Almost finished with the Inklings now, dealing with Joy Gresham's marriage to Lewes. This seemed to coincide with a coolness for towards Jack Lewes by his mate Tollers.  Live Canon release their shortlist today. There was a cast of thousands on it.  Mark Flowers came around and measured our hallway and stairs for our carpet this afternoon. It will be green.

Baby Enzo with us this morning. Lorraine brought him in to sit with us in the bed first thing. Sitting in bed with the smiley little boy was completely heart melting.   Beth arrived early, she and James had missed Enzo all the time. I find how James is so besotted by Enzo to be very endearing.  I went for a long walk in the winter sun, along the sea and at the bottom of Edinburgh Road, passed workmen moving the sea-strewn pebbles off the road. I also got to the end of the Inklings book. Lorraine and I made Sunday lunch and afterward played a simple cycling based board game, which I enjoyed, as its rules were straightforward. At tea time I received an email saying that Gordon Road had been shortlisted for the Live Canon competition I entered it for last summer. This is good. But also triggering: I have had so many things shortlisted without winning that it actually made my heart sink a bit. Crazy really. Beth and James left, taking the wee bairn with them. The house seemed qui...

A tranquil start to the day, just a supermarket visit Lorraine and I went off to the supermarket. Otherwise an at home day. The weather was pants too, so I didn't go for a walk.   Beth brought Enzo around, who then stayed with us this afternoon, and stayed overnight. I loved seeing him eating, a sort of pasta sauce with tiny pasta stars, which he was eating with two spoons. He spent a good deal of time looking at me today, like he'd properly noticed me. In the evening he was sleepily lying in Lorraine's arms after having a bottle of milk just looking at me sitting next to them. His arm was flung out towards me, and I held my hand out and he gripped my hand and didn't let go.  I think he fell asleep with his eyes open.  Then Lorraine took him upstairs, and he went to bed without any fuss.  In the quiet I watched Chelsea win on Match of the Day. To bed with the baby monitor by Lorraine's side of the bed. 

Up early, and sorted out the contract for a phone I was taking to Mum, then left early for to Edgware, but early as I'd arranged for the Mediquip people to meet Mum and I between twelve and one. I showed mum the phone I'd got for her. But it turns out that her old phone, which I thought was broken, was still in working order, but just has a crack in the plastic. So we decided to stick with the old one, rather than learn a whole new phone.  The pleasant mediquip person installed the lifeline terminal, which links to a responder, and mum had a pendant that you can press if you need help. We tested it, and someone answered from the terminal in the kitchen within seconds. This rather good. This will help Mum maintain her independence but also give me peace of mind.  To the Waggon and Horses, and had lunch and sat gratefully by the wood fire. Mum sad that she hadn't been able to colour her hair recently. But of her usual pals, only Steve Davis there for a bit, and we had a chat ...

Nothing but the wild rain this morning.  Off to my drawing class, which I enjoyed more this week, with a graceful female sitter called Caris. Melissa on good form, and I chatted with Debbie, who'd just had a back operation, and Adele, and several of the regulars.   Lorraine was waiting outside in the rain, and we went to Flowers to finalise carpet choices. Luckily I found the golfing umbrella I'd left at the Women's institute about two months ago, while leaving the building.   Home again, still rather tired and underpowered. Beth and Enzo, and Rosie all around this afternoon. Rosie excitable because she and Innis are getting married at the end of May. She said she had been looking at wedding dresses and getting overwhelmed by emotions of all sorts. Lovely to see her though. Phoned Mum, as I'm going to see her tomorrow. In the evening I made off to Lewes where Robin was reading at The Needlewriters. Good to see Robin again, and have nice chats with Robert Hamberger and J...

Grey, rainy day. Took an effort to keep buoyant.  I felt better after I spoke to Barnet Social Services, and Mediquip Barnet. The lady at Social Services very helpful and friendly. Spoke to Mum a couple of times. She was trying to get to Edgware hospital to have her bandage changed, but the bus wasn't running, and the roads had been closed and rerouted.  A walk in the rain in my waterproof leggings and wet top. Flotsam on the shoreline from a cargo vessel losing some of its load near the Isle of Wight, most of it expanded polystyrene. A few hardy and public spirited volunteers had bagged up much of it in the teeming rain earlier.   Popped into Morrisons on the way home because Lorraine was snuffling on the gold sofa most of the day, crocheting Babs, a chicken from Wallace and Gromit film Chicken Run, and badly needing a large dose of chocolate.   Tinkered with some poems for a possible submission, wrote to Robin and did my best to do some thinking and writing.  ...

Lorraine has a cold, and I am sore throaty and generally out of sorts with a sluggish brain. Briefly bucked up first thing by having a poem published today in  Black Nore Review  called Viagra from Vancouver . I wrote it after being spammed by someone called Gwen some years ago. When I saw the name Gwen (with no surname) in my inbox I immediately thought of her. Funny how many poems of mine Gwen appears in. She was proud of her individuality, and had a framed quotation that she frequently quoted which, on googling, I discover is the 'Gestalt Prayer' by Fritz Perls, written in 1969. I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped. Chatted with Mum this morning, she's okay. Tobs called her yesterday. I am delaying seeing her till later in the week to not give her my cold,...

A much enjoyed day at home. Lorraine snuffling with a cold by the end of the day, and me feeling sore-throaty again. Gah. January is doing its best to be hard to like. I know it is mad to personify a month. We'd plans to see Rosie and Innis today, but they had to cancel, which turned out to be lucky for us.  Spoke to Mum early on. She also went next door to Wynford's in the evening. He sent me a very kind text. He is a thoroughly good man. I went for a short walk by the sea. There was supposed to be a seaside run today, but the storms have forced all the pebbles inland over the runners' route, so it had to be cancelled. I always like the blurring of outlines you get with snow, and here the pebbles did the same thing. Wind from the east, although my weather app said it was from the south, numbed my face. Morrisons. Bought some sacrilegious hot cross buns, which went down well with Lorraine on the gold sofa. A fisherman's pie tonight and then we watched a decent if sad do...

Odd scenes this morning at Kenny Towers. Nurse Lorraine boiled scissors and got her medical kit out and cut an irritating skin tag off my inside thigh. It didn't hurt, but bled a bit. Shortly after, Mum called me having fallen at home, hitting the exact same spot on her forehead as she had done in Station Road before Christmas. She was bleeding and wondering what to do next. I told her to call 999 immediately, while I held on, on the iPad. Later an ambulance arrived for her, and they took her to Barnet hospital.  Lorraine and I had already cancelled all our plans and left home, and we found her in Barnet hospital's A&E department, and spent the day with Mum, as she was given assorted scans, blood tests, ECG, and blood pressures and so on had spoken to the Occupational Therapist. People asked her loads of questions.  I also sat with her while her face was injected and sewn up, which I found a bit disturbing. Another five stitches, as I remember it: one inside and four outsi...

A night without coughing again. It is a thing of beauty to be able to sleep again. Lorraine off to do Story Time. I waited for the man from V.R. Flowers, Mark Flowers,  to measure up some of the rooms for carpets, but also after discussion with him we're going to rethink the stairs carpet, so he'll have to come again. Otherwise assorted housework, and finally enjoying poems by Phil Dunn, a pal of Richard Fleming, and it's a collection mostly about work in its various forms. I wrote to him having read it. Then for an early walk listening to Humphrey Carpenter's Inklings book. Carpenter makes the Inklings seem snobby and irritating. I don't know if this is me, Carpenter or the Inklings.  Lorraine and I battened down the hatches tonight, as it was a miserable night and we have a lot on this weekend socially. We summoned a curry from The Viceroy, and spend the evening watching TV. We each had a can of lager too. I must be going through an unadventurous phase, but snugg...