under another sun

Little to cause blogtastic sensation today. Quietly throbbing Ankle preventing foraging far afield. Fortunately just feeling really happy to be at home. Anton and Anna called around with Baby Klauds, who is beginning to look like a little girl with such an expressive face. Anton under attack about vegetables and fruit which scare him. Think MJ should become associate editor of AnotherSun, but was too busy flirting to clarify logistics. Looking at some old photos today. Found this one of me as Jazz baby proving that I was hip even then.

Today I decided to start AnotherSun again. I began it on a complete whim, and now that I finally have some elbow room in my life I will restart it. God willing, I will overhaul the site by March. Excellent night last night hanging about with Anton in his lavish kitchen listening to tunes and scarfing his dietbuster homemade gormet pizzas and wine. Funny how these simple pleasures are often the best things about a week. An album Anton has called Munka Moon by Brighton's own Alice Russell has a cracking song called Hurry On which we are loving at the moment. Has become a bit of a theme tune for my migration down here. Lack of sleep left me feeling a tad glum for while this morning and frustrated about not being being able to walk properly. And although horse pills are working, they are making me feel a bit woozy. MJ cheered me up by message, and thoughtfully offered to send me an evil clown picture.

Al's baby Mia -- she just sent me this.

All is well. Working from home writing articles on incontinence. Life exceedingly glam. New doctor today, a cheerful direct woman from Capetown. Ankle is to do with ligaments and this will take time to sort out. So it is back to swimming as walking is out for the time being. Reassuring discussion about my general health. She is going to wean me off blood pressure medication and she said get a "true" picture of what's going on. I told her that I was a hypochondriac and she told me that she had seen two people who were dying that day. I told her I was getting to grips with life and not drinking too much... She guffawed and said that Brighton was rife with drinkers. Picked up horse pills from an attentive young gay pharmacist, who explained with great earnestness how they worked. Brighton is a good town. Went into record store around the corner, the oldest established one in the UK the owner told me proudly. Will have to investigate his immaculate vinyl collection in more de...

240205 I glimpse two magpies Flap over the thawing fields. Slow journey into work.

230205 Imagining her In stillness and long typing. I notice fresh snow. * * * Stars melt in my palm; Snowflakes in the walled garden. I pick daffodils. * * * Minute grey shadows; Snow ghosts between white houses. Now she is closer.

This is my front door. Due to bad ankle decided to work from home today. Limped out this morning to take these two photos of my Twitten. It was lightly snowing although you can't see it.

My twitten! 

Woke up early with ankle throbbing and found myself unable to stand properly. Remembered feeling vaguely achy yesterday but went for my evening constitutional with no ill effects at the time. So felt short changed to be hobbling around like the Dustin Hoffman character in Midnight Cowboy all day. Shuffled to the station and missed "my" train. However caught a slightly later one and all was well. The journey beautiful seeing the snowy fields and the chiaroscuro way snow settles on branches and boughs. Work mostly a futile yapfest. Went for a swim this lunchtime as unable to walk properly. Bad back dictated it was mostly backstroke. Swimming made back worse so considering taking myself to veterinary surgeon to be put out of misery. Spoke to Mark who is ill so we are cancelling tomorrow, and rearranging for next week. Still really looking forward to seeing him however. Home and Anton called around this evening. Played some tunes and had three restrained beers in three pubs nearb...

Felt physically better today. Went for a short constitutional at lunchtime. Snowy day, but haven't seen any settle yet. The river bright between bouts of brushed steel clouds and occasional scatters of fine snow. Work best passed over in silence. Brightened only by MJ sending me a note saying she had put her kids on ebay. Bolted early thinking that there would be problems with the trains but they were perfect. Racing the snow out of London. Met Reuben on the platform at Brighton and had a quick chat. Had idea on train to create CDs of ambient conversation that you could play in different enrironments to set the tone. It would encourage the people you wanted to be in your establishment because it sort of sounds like they do. After I while I decided it was a really stupid idea though. Home and just so happy to be here. Went for a walk down to the sea tonight which was really nice if a bit nippy. Stood on a groyne and looked out to sea soulfully wearing beenie hat which makes me look ...

Quiet Sunday -- still feeling somewhat underpowered. Matty Boy and me finally caught up with one another, and had a couple of glasses of hoppy goodness together in the Battle of Trafalgar and then to the Eddy for a roast beef lunch. He was looking quite hip and sharp I thought and wandered about my abode making approving noises. Then in the afternoon did little or nothing other than buy containers. One for spaghetti, the other to put rubbish in. Spoke to the Boy Toby today and really pleased to hear that he's much happier about work and excited about the new house. Chatted too with MJ again today about evil clowns. Now it seems really odd that we never talked in four or five years.

Saw Paul after for an hour or so after work on Friday. He has such amazing energy and persistence; a truly amazing networker. Whenever he talks about his son there is an abundance of love, and a reason to persist. Then a ghastly journey through north London. Trains execrable so got a taxi from Wembley. Driver a keen coarse fisherman and described catching a catfish of over fifty pounds in France with a fifteen pound breaking-strain line. All in the playing the fish apparently. Had an enjoyable evening drinking wine and then me moving on to some sweet coffee liqueur in an ill-advised way, and mum tucking into Cointreau, and trying to snatch my copy of Eno's book before I'd finished it. It's mine I tell you! etc. Interestingly found in the family vaults two Eno LPs, Before and After Science and Another Green World that the boy Toby must have bought. These I took back to me to Brighton and to play on the turntable Anton gave me. Sordid this morning but gradully recovered. L...

180205/Lines on a lost sea monster Anomalocaris canadensis means unusual Canadian shrimp but you weren't a shrimp were you? You were a six foot sea monster they found you in bits up a Canadian mountain which, granted, is unusual for a shrimp.

Working at home in the last couple of days. Still feeling a bit seedy and irritable so best left to own devices. This broken up nicely with serious cyberflirting with MJ. I prefer meatspace flirting though and am looking forward to April. Reuben spontaneously dropping by this evening on his way to meet a graffiti artist for the show he is going to curate. Good to see him. He's got some trademark Reuben photos here. Learnt today from Radio 4 about The Burgess Shale in the Rockies in Canada full of mid-Cambrian fossils, where even the soft tissue creatures left their mark. Had a look at the Smithsonian site where there were all kinds of unlikely looking creatures, evolutionary cul-de-sac. One creature called Hallucinogenia because it looked so odd. My favourites are the so-called unassigned fossils which have no obvious familial allegiance to anything known. They're here . I like the idea of nature experimenting and discarding some of the also-rans. Wonder if some tentacled race ...

Valentine's day saw me slug in bed till late. Managed to crawl from my pit at tenish after speaking to a variety of work people. Feeling unwell still. Had a nice poem sent me by MJ today. I returned the compliment and all is well. Much instant messenger flirting today, which is great fun. Also spoke to First Matie who was gloomy because Gav was off filming in Thailand and had the temerity to do so on Valentine's day. Reading Chinese poems with great enjoyment and gave rise to today's random poem. Also updated my CV. Feeling very tired which is a pain as I want to keep the momentum up with exercise. 140205/ Reply to Su Tung P’o (1036-1101) Today I found a mirror inside a book, in a white room, and in an hour of winter sun, I imagined the mountains and the rivers of Wu. You say office and position -- remembered power -- mean nothing to you now that a thousand miles of exile have turned you to this poetry. But somehow your indifference is still to your credit. For nine hundred...

Sunday and still have writer's gyp. Tiredness, aching and wussiness. Have just returned from an evening constitutional by the sea. Quite cold tonight. This short walk made me feel tired again, however, and I am going to skip work tomorrow to get better. I am no longer in the business of putting business before my health. Mary Jane and me, after emailing one another for about four years, actually spoke together on the phone for the first time. I called her up, quite nervous, on Saturday afternoon. She was nervous too. Funny how you can have a penfriendship for so long, but actually talking to each other suddenly made it more real and new. We seemed to have a good deal to talk about on the phone as well as in cyberspace, however, which bodes well for her visit to Blighty in April. She has an exotic voice and is a lovely and interesting woman and I have a crush on her. Slept in till gone 10 this morning, which is the latest for months. This despite the fact my mobile went off at about...

Saturday morning finds me cheerful but aching and illish. Anton popped by this morning made him listen to some Brian Eno. Still liking the idea that you can live in a place where friends can drop in on you for a cup of tea after going to the shops. Reminds me of being in Guernsey as a child, dropping in with my Grandfather on relatives nearby. Had a bit of a works bash on Thursday night and flirted my way around the room full of banter and witty ripostes. A few old faces there which was good. Friday found me feeling hung over and rough, and some of my witty banter seemed less big and clever in retrospect. Went for a lunchtime constitutional with Pat, both of us getting very muddy in the process. He is now my boss, but I won't hold this against him. Nice bloke, which is a blessing. Felt mysteriously shattered after this exertion. Cried off going to see my Mum's half brother's opening night of his exhibition. Was on my way but felt decidedly poor and claustrophobic on the tub...

Last night with Kate and Gavin in Wandsworth, after going out with them and Fraser to the White Cross in Richmond. Frase up and about and looking fine again after his Christmas hospitalisation. He also dropped the bombshell that Sarah was pregnant again… So it goes 2003: baby, 2004: open heart surgery & new job as CD, 2005: baby. Enjoyable time with Kate and Gav. Broke food free diet by eating some pizza and drinking beer at their place. But good fun. Slept like a narcoleptic log. Woke up early and played Gav’s nice guitar till they got up. Kate making me laugh moaning about “the beer badgers” who had moved all her stuff around in the night so she was now unable to find anything. Gavin walked me to the bus stop, saying that he and Kate might live in SA for a while. Work… was a mind numbing 6 hour meeting with three of our clients to create a five year strategic plan for their business. Despite recent events, still having to play the creative director. Blah blah key perfor...

Just got back from my lunchtime constitutional by the river. Misty and bright. Feeling intensely cheerful today. I realised that I had been disillusioned. But in the proper sense of having illusions removed, and this has curiously given me a feeling of elation. I have spent the last two years trying to make something work without the genuine support of people about me. I feel like I have had a great weight lifted from me, and now I am free to do other, immensely more rewarding, things. Am buzzing with ideas today. The Eno book is goading me into thinking again. Today's spontaneous poem: 080205 Unfinished; the sketch I made of you, lines; adumbrations you moving too much changing so much I suspected you were many people Or that I'd superimposed Others on you Like counters stacking up On a number on a table And me hoping, by chance, for a win.

Good day today. Happily re-reading A year with swollen appendices by Brian Eno on the train this morning. So packed with ideas that it is hard not to feel shaken awake by it. Work not too hideous. Went for a lovely walk at lunchtime along the river to Putney Bridge beautiful springlike day. Felt curiously carefree and cheerful. Listened to a guided meditation tape yesterday before I slept and I had a very peaceful night because of it. Had nice phone chats with Liz and Paul in the evening. Paul still awaiting payment from a Chinese charity he did lots of work for last year, and is broke. Liz and I made peace after falling out somewhat lately. Went for another walk too down by the sea. My new pedometer tells me I have walked over eight and a half miles today. I decided today that I was going to write something, anything . I took a line from the Eno book where he mentions as an aside that he'd drempt he was a song. I decided to adopt a completely different strategy and f...

Anton and Anna have decided to jump on my weight loss bandwagon. Yesterday Anton competitively bought a book called French Women Don't Get Fat and is planning how to gormandise himself to slenderness. We three talked about dieting on Saturday night as we got stuck into fisherman's pie and some fabulous apricot patisserie. Oddly I have not lost any weight over the last few days. Shared this news of Anton's new approach with MJ who as a refutation sent me a photo of an unnamed French actress who was clearly no stranger to pies. MJ asked me what I think will happen when we die. I said that part of me believes in a place inhabited by everyone I have loved. And they will be their perfect selves. And everything will be safe forever. She said she also believed that. If one has to believe something, and of course what happens when you die is unknowable, why not believe something comforting. John the Plumber finally sorted me out and I have a functioning washing machine...

Worked from home yesterday, and spent some time writing about heart attacks and strokes. If I were to chose any subject I'd least like to write about it would be those. However had an enjoyable day. Today I felt better disposed towards the world in general. In the morning on the London train I was scribbled these bullets in my moleskine: Bob was saying the other night that he thought that most of his problems were not existential but spiritual. He has said this to me several times now. Perhaps I should celebrate my obstacles. Attaching yourself to your work is futile and potentially harmful. It is also crowds out the things that one would prefer to do. My world has shrunk. This has been reflected in my blog and my lack of creativity. My notebook has lain dormant. Time to wake up. Stop doing the same things. After writing all this I felt a strong feeling of freedom. I had cut the bond between myself and my work and now I am free to move on. Also realised that reactions to all thi...

Woke up with a sore throat and coughing this morning. Fortunately I was on a later train to go straight to the medical centre. Anton had poked through a thank-you card from Baby Clouds wearing her "I am 1" hat which I took with me on my travels. Had full and thorough medical today. They found I have high blood pressure and that I need to lose weight -- lots of weight. First reading was astronomically high, due to white coat syndrome. Second was still high but more reasonable. Felt like Woody Allen on a bad day going to the clinic, but the nurses and South African doctor were pleasant. The doctor said that the issues I had could be turned around. He showed me a chart where the average for a man of my age is an 11 per cent chance of having a heart attack in the next ten years if things remain as they are now. My score was 10 per cent but if I lost weight it would significantly reduce. It was a good thing to have done and I have a clear picture of what I need to do to keep...