under another sun

Still loping about with a bad back. Lorraine busy doing Rhyme Time, and taking Maureen to Eastbourne to do some shopping. Otherwise a peaceful day, and one refreshingly free of big doomy thoughts about my failure to achieve much, which so often plague me at this time of year. Instead I felt light and cautiously optimistic. I spoke to Mum, who had been out with Mark in Hampstead.  In the evening, Lorraine and I toddled off to Need, a wee restaurant opposite Morrisons. Here we met Yvonne, Brian, Adele, Patrick, Guy and Barbara. We were last minute replacements for Rick and Gabby who had to drop out due to a bereavement. We hadn't been invited as we were bogged down with illness when Yvonne booked. But great to find ourselves seeing in the new year with cheery friends. Home walking along frosty pavements. A short spell on the gold sofa before sleep. Below Patrick, Adele, Guy, Lorraine, Brian, Barbara, and at the other end of the table me and Yvonne. I'm wearing a new jumper Lorra...

I bent over this morning and pulled something in my back. I often do something like this at this time of year.  Mum's birthday today, I called this morning to wish her well. Her eye was looking a little better today. But the bruising is coming out under her eye still. She is hoping that the injury won't affect her expression,  as it damaged the muscle over her eye. These things take quite a time to recover. She was going to dinner at Wynford's house tonight.  Lorraine and I started making spidergrams of things today. First we started with the house, and what needs doing and so on. We are going to do a holiday and cheeky break one, as well as other aspects of our lives. A start of year appraisal. I feel we have been dealing with assorted crises lately, and it seems a good idea take a broader view, and regain a bit of control. Beth came by with Enzo this morning. Beth feeling okay and Enzo doing better after being a bit under the weather yesterday.  I went off to meet ...

Slept better last night. And after a late and leisurely breakfast, Lorraine popped around to see Pat and Maureen and I had the luxury of a long walk, my first for some time. Really enjoyed it, while listening to a BBC radio dramatisation of I Claudius from some time ago, which I had downloaded it from Audible. Really well done. Home and Lorraine in not long after. We lapped up a lazy afternoon, which felt great. Having watched White Christmas over Christmas, which I had really enjoyed, I wanted to watch High Society . Lorraine astonished that I should choose a musical. It had Grace Kelly, Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra in it. A strange story, which the actors brought charm to, but in different hands it could have seemed very bleak and weird. Louis Armstrong prominent in the film too, opening and closing it like a narrator. From today's perspective, I felt he was patronised. Despite this, I enjoyed it though, and the songs were great. In the evening I made a traditional turkey curr...

All up fairly early. Lorraine went around to have brunch with Kate and Andrew and other pals. Mum and I had a slow breakfast with lots of chatting, and then she packed. Back to Edgware today, the journey very busy again, the fastest route today was to go north viaTunbridge Wells and join the M25 eastwards, squeaking through the Dartford tunnel again. Never been through there, and now twice in one week. Safely indoors with cups of tea and figgy rolls, and Lorraine had a doze and we made off south again. Sheer weight of traffic meant it was slow, but we returned the normal way via Heathrow. Did a few quick jobs around the house liking turning the wifi back on, and unplugging timers that Ben had set up timers for lights that would come on and off in the house.  The Tobster called while we were crawling on the jolly M25, and they are enjoying San Miguel in Mexico, shortly to return.  Home and Lorraine and I watched a video Beth sent of Enzo eating his first food: carrot. Spooning ...

Breakfast with Mum. A call from Maureen needing Lorraine to zoom around to help. Then she drove off to Squirrel's End to pick up Enzo, as it seems Beth and James have succumbed to the humbuggery of an obnoxious cold. Lorraine and I still getting over the one we had before Christmas. So today's special guest was Enzo, who we had with us all day.  Anton and Anne came this afternoon which was fun. Mum and Anne enjoyed meeting again, and has always liked Anton. Lorraine meanwhile had made an exemplary turkey and leek pie. They brought some excellent presents too, drawing charcoal and paper for me, and a book about growing your own vegetables for Lorraine, plus a lovely bottle of wine.  Anton also gave us a card which he had hand made, which was very free and lovely. He's really doing well with his watercolours.  

A more pedestrian pace today, which was very welcome. Enjoyed lurking about at home. Lorraine having a bit of a rest day. Mum and I went out for a walk, sauntering down to the sea, which was calm and grey with quite a few Boxing Day walkers mooching along with their dogs or families or both. Lorraine and I had invited Joy and Jim from next door for a late afternoon chat. They are excellent company and we had a festive glass of wine with them. We are very lucking in our neighbours, and we like them lots. Mum enjoyed meeting them too.  A quiet evening. We watched a disappointing Poirot movie starring Kenneth Branagh, A Haunting in Venice , which was pretty poor. Mum enjoyed seeing 1970s top of the pops Christmas hits however. Even Mull of Kintyre is decent if you hear it once a decade.

A major feat of organisation and logistics also known as Christmas Day. Lorraine up before me, to put on a Christmas ham, once Mum was up, we got down to a fast smoked salmon breakfast. Soon Beth and James and Enzo arrived. Much swapping of gifts. I got excellent jumpers, art supplies, a book on life drawing, plus a useful box of Long Man beers. Lorraine liked the earrings I got for her. We all had pressies to open.   Then the ham was done, and the turkey put on. A good deal of cooking, and running about, then Lorraine and James left and returned with Pat and Maureen. Uncle Steve was there too. Another bout of present opening.  Pat being here was excellent, getting him here involved Lorraine doing lots of planning, using an E Tack turner, used to swivel him from one chair to another. And I was especially pleased to have Mum with us too, and having Enzo was a bit of a game changer. I'd never been around a baby at Christmas, and Enzo was like the Phial of Galadriel, shedding lig...

Breakfast with Mum, filled her up with seeds and live yoghurts, toast etc. Not long after, Beth and Enzo in matching pyjamas came by, and Mum met Enzo for the first time and was as enamoured by the little lad as everyone else.  I peeled many root vegetables. Later Lorraine and I zoomed around Morrisons and then took Mum to see Pat and Maureen. A nippily gorgeous day with the sun on the sea. Maureen pleased to see Mum. We made plans about tomorrow's festivities. Mum and I went out by the sea for a bit for five minutes or so, but it was parky a piercing north east wind.   Early evening and we took Mum to the Old Boot Inn, where we met up with Delores. The pub was rammed, and flukily we managed to get a table. Mum liked the busy festive throng. Melissa was on a nearby table and we chatted to her and Chris her husband as they were leaving. I assured Melissa that I would eagerly return to her drawing class next term. Chris, one of the rebooters, turned up too with his son Keiran, w...

Off to Edgware today. Did a few bits first, then made off around noon, just as the population of Southern England climbed into their vehicles. A longish journey up, having to go eastwards round the hateful M25 and under the Dartford Tunnel, which I don't remember ever going under. Quite a narrow tunnel and best seen crawling through in a traffic jam, giving you plenty of time to be mindful of the millions of tonnes of water pressing overhead.  Mum discovered in good spirits. We had a lengthy pause to let Lorraine have a decent break while we ate ginger nuts and drank tea. Wynford happened to pop in which was nice. Luckily I already had a card for him. I popped one into Ben's letter box, and Maheena's too. Mum has so many good neighbours. The journey back easier, despite the motorway from the M25 to Brighton being closed due to a fire on the road. Lorraine did brilliantly, and drove excellently there and back. We listened to Classic FM which was playing arrangements of Chris...

Lorraine and I had bumped our trip to Edgware till tomorrow, as I wanted Lorraine to have another day of recovery before the driving marathon. She is improving, but is a couple of days behind me, and I'm still a tad wan. Beth and Enzo popped around, for a session of the adoration of Enzo. Spoke to Toby briefly, as he had read about Mum falling over in the rain. I felt a bit bad that I hadn't let him know. He was on a tour somewhere in Mexico City I think. All well though. I had to send my apologies to Robin too, as I was invited around with others tomorrow evening, but we will be picking up Mum instead. Making it the last of our pre-xmas cheery get togethers to be missed. Bah humbug. First walk for several days today, slipped down by the sea and walked along looking at the purple sea and orange sky, and thinking how this is a weird and wonderful planet. A nice note from Kay Syrad about being mentioned on Planet Poetry. A bit of stranger things on TV and Brooklyn 99 before bed. ...

Spoke to Mum this morning, sporting a rather nasty bump on the head with stitches on it. She got a taxi home from the hospital last night but seemed in good spirits, and mainly concerned with how ugly the bump was. She was telling us about how kind the people in the shop she'd fallen outside of were. Her scan, when she was able to get one, showed there was no fracturing, which was what she thought.  Otherwise Lorraine and I both have a bad cold. Had to cancel going out to the Boot with our local pals. Gah.  

A cold now in full flow, and Lorraine beginning to feel a bit wussy too.  I lay in bed till late, confident that at least it could be a quiet day, but then I had to work on the podcast for a couple of hours. We got it out on time and Niall Campbell was a wonderful guest. I don't think I was on top form for this recording, but it is what it is, as penetrating philosophers of our time say. Just as I was writing the episode description, I got a call from Wynford who said Mum had fallen over in Edgware, while walking off to have a Christmas Dinner at the Church social club. He wasn't sure where she had been taken to. While I was hanging on the phone to Barnet Hospital A&E, Mum and a nurse called from Edgware walk in centre. Mum sounded okay. She'd slipped over in the heavy rain outside the music shop. Someone in the shop knew Wynford and called him, and he very kindly called me immediately.  The nurse explained that she had stitches, and would also need a scan just to ensur...

Beth off early for a procedure in hospital to do with her bile duct. This meant that we had Enzo for the day and night, as Beth needed time to recover. Enzo behaved in an exemplary way all day. We pushed him off to see Pat and Maureen. I managed a spot of shopping too in Seaford, while Lorraine and Enzo went to the Post Office. Spoke to Anton, who is with Camino. Spoke to Mum to suggest we pick her up next Monday. All good. Feeling coldy this evening, which made me cringe as Charlotte was particularly keen not to be exposed to bugs.  Beth's procedure went well, and James looking after her. Sweet how they both so missed Enzo, even after a few hours. Below Enzo and I looked lots at the tree today, which he loves. A bit of a serious face here.

Up and a few tweaks to the podcast before sending what I had to Robin. Then off to Brighton by train, and went to see Stacy. Stacy under pressure as everyone wants a haircut in time for Christmas. He had also shaved the wizard's hair and beared, I last saw him sporting. He did his usual perfectionists job on me. Then a spot of shopping in Brighton, and spoke to Mum. Home again, and Lorraine out as the OT was visiting Pat.  In my travels today, a note from the editor of Black Nore, accepting one of my lighter poems, called Viagra from Vancouver . It's a true story about getting a spam email from someone called Gwen, my grandmother's name, about buying Viagra from a pharmacy in Vancouver.  Gwen, something of a practical joker, had visited her sister in Vancouver.  I made off to Lewes, the Brewers pub for what I think of as the Poets' Xmas Party. Charlotte, SJB, Robin and Stephen. As I arrived, I bumped into Phil, Innis's mate, last seen at Innis's birthday party i...

Breakfast with Lorraine, then hopped on a train. Lots of blokes in smart casual garms on the train.  Turns out they were all off to the races at Plumpton. At one point there was a call for any medical personnel to report to one of the carriages, but nobody was helped off at subsequent stations, so I think it may have been some kind of a prank. Meanwhile Beth and Enzo, released from hospital, and fortunately the wee lad is far better today, after his adventures last night. Everyone relieved of course.  I continued to Hampstead where I met Mum at the tube station, and we repaired to the The White Bear. A nice drink with Mum, and some food. We discussed her coming down to stay with us for Christmas, while eating unusually tasty cheeseburgers. Very happy that she will not be alone this Christmas. Of course she is sad about Felix dying. She was telling me how kind Wynford had been, and he was even praying as poor Felix was put down.   We sat near the fire, and Mum drank red wi...

A relaxed Sunday. I did some early recording with Robin, and some editing later. Then Lorraine and I did some work in the garden. Our gardener Gerard bad been recently, and so surging outside was not accompanied by the usual feeling of being overwhelmed by all the things to be done. Lorraine was in her happy place. I joined in by clearing stuff out of the greenhouse, hacking through the ropey tomato and cucumber vines and emptied all the tomato pots into the compost, and encountered invertebrates such as an overly large spider and leopard slugs. Also the last handfuls of tomatoes. Not bad given that it is almost Christmas. I went for a walk in the afternoon. Leaving Lorraine happily doing things. Just as I was returning, Lorraine called to say she was zooming around to Beth and James's place, as Enzo was unwell. Poor baby was vomiting and going floppy, which was very worrying. Beth and Enzo were blue lighted to the Royal Sussex at Brighton, and stayed overnight. It seemed to be eit...

Saturday Lorraine and I went to look at carpets, and spoke to the carpet salesman until our ears wilted. They are very good in this local store, with a wide range. Came back with samples to see in situ, and think about stuff. Not as easy as it first seems.  In the afternoon Lorraine took Pat and Maureen to the Christmas party at Stratheden Court, they made them feel very welcome and clapped when they came in, which was all very lovely.  I went for a walk in the afternoon. Walking by the sea, which was quite calm, around sundown. The colours were gorgeous. The sea, reflecting the orange light, looked purple. Not seen that here in Seaford before.

Off to London this morning to meet Bob, as he put it 'under the usual lion' in Trafalgar Square. On the train I spoke to Mum, and very sadly she had to have Felix put down, as he was very ill. Wynford went with Mum to the vet, and was really helpful. I sent him a text to thank him. Mum obviously very sad. Bob and I had a lovely day. We lurked near the National Gallery, and a coffee, and then after going through the market that has sprung up on the edge of Trafalgar Square,  we went into the National to see a small exhibition by Joseph Wright of Derby. It was an example of Tenebrism, paintings showing people lit only by the light of candles, or in one case the light of a white hot poker, and everything falling back into darkness. A thin exhibition to be honest, and Bob and I knew one of the main exhibits which is in the permanent exhibition. But still fascinating and thought provoking. Then back into the Trafalgar Square where we bought two bratwurst hot dogs from a German sausa...

Off after a bit of editing of my conversation with Robin, to sit with Pat at 11:45. Sylwia was there, and is zooming back to Poland at the weekend. A long, long drive. Lorraine and Maureen off to Eastbourne for a hearing aid appointment.  Mum said the vets had asked for her to bring Felix in as soon as possible. She is trying to get someone to go with her tomorrow. I found Pat fairly perky, and I made him some tea and warmed up some beef broth. We watched one of those shows where they buy some tat and try to sell it on at auctions. I'd not seen the show for years, but the guy that presents it no longer wears a wig, making him almost unrecognisable. Soon Claudia and Jonas had arrived too. I made them tea, and after the carers had been, Patrick able to stand now fairly well for short times, and he was doing some exercises of holding up his leg and pointing his toes and so on. At 1:30 I slipped off leaving Claudia and Jonas with Pat for half an hour. I went home and joined some of my ...

A gorgeous clear skied day. Walking and listening to a Rest is History podcast about Jack the Ripper, and the streets of Whitechapel. In other news, Mum is very worried about Felix, and is looking to see if he is still covered by pet insurance.  We've invested in Netflix again, in time for Christmas. Watching Stranger Things.

Recording with Robin this morning, for the podcast. I ended up talking about Kay Syrad's book, which I have become intrigued by and Argonauts, by George Seferis. Nice to be recording with Robin again. then another walk, followed by some initial editing.  Lorraine off to the see Coílín our dentist, and spending time with Pat and Maureen.  In the evening I made off to The Evening Star to meet Messrs Hoibak and Hartley for a few cheery beers. I met these two, 55 years ago which is astonishing. A wide range of discussions, but all very cheery. After the Evening Star we went to the Green Dragon after an obligatory pizza in Fatto a Mano, and tonight it was full with people attending a pub quiz. Whoever is running that pub is doing a grand job.  Bumped into Spooner just after leaving the pizzeria. He had attended Yuk Man's funeral in London. Having not been back on LinkedIn I didn't know it was happening today. Spooner looked understandably sombre. I felt a bad I hadn't shown ...

A day with Beth and James and Enzo. We went off to The Long Man Brewery where there was a Christmas Fayre of sorts. I scoffed a very nice sausage roll, washed down with a half of Long Man's plum porter.  It was pleasantly Christmassy. Otherwise the normal sort of stuff. A chilli products stand, soaps with scraps of flowers in, a stand selling breads and excellent mince pies,  and the Long Man brewery shop,  full of geezers looking seriously at beers. We sat in a drafty former cow shed drinking coffee before zooming off down the narrow road to the Barn at the Friston forest visitor's centre, where we looked at more Christmassy stands, selling everything from Honey to festive baubles. In the art exhibition part, we met Adele and Mandy, who were exhibiting their artworks. Then Lorraine and I off to see Pat and Maureen. Maureen feeling a bit down, and we spent some time with them.  Beth and James and Enzo already at home when we arrived. Beth in Cinders mode beginning to...

Continuing to feel greatly bucked up, and looking forward to the day when I woke up. After breakfast, I helped Lorraine take an unused cot into the Climate Hub in the rain. Having done this I made off towards Morrisons, only to discern Lorraine yelping from afar as I inexplicably had her car keys in my pocket.  Home and with great care, proofread the six pages of my poems appearing in Poetry Salzburg Review next year. I added a single comma, and Wolfgang the editor had spotted a misspelling in a neologism, which is impressive. All this exactly the sort of thing a gentleman of letters should be doing with his time. I briefly pictured myself as an Edwardian Peter Kenny -- let's say 1908 -- poring keenly over the proofs while puffing thoughtfully on a briar pipe, while the staff were busy below stairs.  A bright lunchtime in a day of drizzle, so I wore my new Berghaus and waterproof trousers and walking shoes and surged out for a mild mannered walk about the edges of town. Not a ...

Over breakfast this morning, I received a note from Poetry Salzburg to say they are going to publish, the first part of Gordon Road, Google Street View , plus three of my free verse sonnets about memory, Mnemosyne Speaks, Death of an Accompanist, and Daguerrotype . Massively bucked up by this, especially by the acceptance of the Google Street View poem. Perhaps I am not an abject failure after all.  This news also helped to alleviate impostor syndrome when Robin and I interviewed Niall Campbell at 10:30. Niall proved not only hugely talented, but highly likeable too, growing up in South Uist, and now living not too far from St Andrew's where we have been a few times recently. His collection The Island in the Sound is magical . Then I met Adele at Seaford Station, and we zoomed off to Lewes, Adele even doing a bit of glasswork on the train, where we went to The John Harvey Tavern, where we met Frances and Deana. Ben and Sally sadly unable to make it. Deana hilarious, telling u...

Wore moderately smart clothes this morning, as yesterday I saw myself in a mirror in The White Bear looking a bit rubbish. Feeling smarter makes a difference. After a lovely breakfast with Lorraine, went to my desk to finalise my speculative missive to Shearsman. A sunny lunchtime, so I went for a walk, and later had a chat with Robin about tomorrow's interview, which we are going to do as a double act. While walking I called Carl, and spoke to him and Jayne who was also in the car. I was planning to visit him last month, and December is already busy enough so I said January. Lots of laughing as Carl ridiculed me as only your oldest friends can. Lorraine had been shopping with Beth, and in the afternoon Beth here with Enzo, so I had a chance to hang out with them. At one point Lorraine and Beth were out of the room and I was watching Enzo getting exceedingly tetchy lying on his back trying to pull down the toys that dangle from a little plastic arch over where he lies on his mat. B...

A steady rain, and fierce sea visible from Seaford station this morning. Breakfast with Lorraine, then off up to meet Mum at Hampstead. A fairly easy journey. Took one of my yellow book and sketched out some   practical next steps, and trying to get a grip. Last train a little delayed so I had to yomp up Arkwright road up to Hampstead. Met Mum slightly late, but we mooched down Flask Walk and then around to The White Bear which is now serving food again. The place empty. The new menu fairly unappetising, and the woman who runs it despite being quite friendly, was very pushy. Mum ordered a high quality sausage roll with fennel, and I had some risotto, which I had to send back as the rice was still hard and grainy. I ordered something else which was a bit meh. Mum unimpressed by the sausage roll's short and stubby shape, but was delighted by the Spanish house wine, and had three glasses of it. We like The White Bear. People began arriving as we were leaving, and there was a merry fir...

A quiet day to ourselves. Felt the urge for a housework frenzy which felt morally cleansing. In the afternoon we repaired to the studio, where we used one of the little breathing heaters, and Lorraine did some painting of her pottery pieces, including little holly shaped leaves, and I did some scribbling quite literally. Indoors again, and we cooked a chicken and roast, and watched a film called Finch, with Tom Hanks, which was a cosy kind of dystopian film. Not much cop, but Hanks is always watchable. Also enjoyed Chelsea holding Arsenal to a draw, despite having one of their players sent off. Below earlier Lorraine made a squash soup. The colour of the peelings was like sunshine on a chopping board.     

Some work this morning first thing, getting another poetry proposal together. Less depressed now, and able to countenance at least trying again. Met Lorraine for coffee at the Church Lane eatery, where I also had a rather paltry looking tuna melt. We noticed a large centipede walking across the floor, only to see it meet its end underfoot. Wished I'd scooped it out and taken it across the road to the graveyard before it met its maker. Then across the road to The Crypt, which had its Christmas of local artists makers including Adele and Mandy. Bought some Christmas things, and one of the exhibitors liked Lorraine's bag so much, she had to have a ten minute conversation with her about it. Then made off to Pat and Maureen's place. I sat with Pat for a couple of hours looking at the sea and chatting with the carers. One of them in a hijab, who Maureen calls Vee was very sweet and told me to just rest myself, when I said let me know if they needed anything. I said she should spe...

Lorraine off to see Dawn in Lewes this morning. I did fiddling about with writing, and spoke to Mum. Then and enjoyable chat with Robin about the next pre-Christmas episode. Nice to hear her news, a poetry reading in Chichester last night, Nick had just sold his grand piano, she'd pranged her new car in a multi-storey carpark. Chatted about the poems of Niall Campbell, from The Island in the Sound which we both like. Niall was born on North Uist. We need to get some questions together rapidly. In the late afternoon off to meet Anton in The Evening Star. He was fresh from doing an event, and was carrying a bag crammed with stuff, but included his dominoes. He thrashed me a couple of times. The first game a complete whitewash. He can even beat Martin, arch counter of pieces, these days. He'd popped over to see Camino a few days ago. Minus two at night apparently. And a power cut which saw them eating baked potatoes, and bacon and eggs cooked on a pan over the fire. We sloped dow...

Up early this morning. Tom arrived this morning, a burst of cheeriness first thing. He is down to see Pat and Maureen. I had to make my excuses, however and zoom off with Brian to walk in Friston Forest, with Marley the dog sprinting about with a stick in her mouth most of the time. Another gorgeous day, walking through the autumnal forest and its carpet of yellow beech leaves. Excellent and rather profound chat with Brian. While we were walking along he found his black case for his earphones, lost two weeks ago. Amazing he could see them on the forest floor. He said I was his good luck charm. Then we drove briefly to East Dean, where there was a small and very middle class market. He bought some venison. I almost bought some venison sausages as the prices didn't look too dear (arf). Then we popped back to see Yvonne, who had her grandson Sebastian with her. Last time I saw him (last Christmas I think) he was a baby, but now he is a little boy. I feel I understand babies a bit bett...

Up this morning and off to Friston Forest with Guy, and his two small and elderly dogs sporting day glow coats with handles on the backs so you could pick them up like suitacases. I told Lorraine that I was off dogging with Guy. A glorious crisp cold morning. Nice to get to know Guy a little better. He's very friendly and easy to chat with and I enjoyed our walk. Thanks to things like a nice walk in the forest, noticing that I am feeling more motivated, and cheerier. Arranged to meet people, to go for a walk with Brian on Wednesday, to see Anton on Thursday, to arrange a date with Messrs Hoibak and Hartley.  Lorraine spent much of the day with Beth and went to a Christmas Wreath pottery workshop this evening, which they both enjoyed. I sat at home and watched some documentaries about the end of civilisations. 

A glance at my phone revealed I had my first full state pension payment. Trying not to look at it as money for nothing, but cheering anyway. Looked at tax stuff with Mum this morning, and printed things off to send to her in a stamped addressed envelope. A walk, post office, and a bit of shopping. Decided to subscribe to Poetry Salzburg, PayPal glitched and I ended up paying twice. Sigh. More walking, then it rained but Bob called which was very cheering and we have booked a day to meet up soon. Lorraine off to her personal trainer, and then went to her physio and a walk with Beth by the seaside. Not much going on but my mood is improving steadily. 

A bit more lively today. Lorraine at home this morning, and it was nice to hang out. Visited the Government Gateway and found out a simple way to pay, and talked to her about that first thing. A little bit of writing and organising, this morning and a walk in the winter sun for me this afternoon, after Lorraine and I had the bright idea of cashing in our unspent Euros in the post office. Lorraine home and too tired to go out tonight. The Rebooters, nine of us, off to Eastbourne this evening by bus, to a pub called The Lamb. A nice old place. Missing Lorraine, but I had a good time. Brian and Yvonne, Adele and Patrick, Guy and Barbara, Steve, myself and Matthew arrived with Rumi the dog. One of the three allowable dogs.   Feeling low again, this evening but excellent company a pint or three of Harveys and a decent fish and chips perked me up.. Bussed back to Seaford, fond farewells to everyone. Steve and I sneaked off to the Union Club a place I am now a member for an absolute blood...

Beth's birthday, a gorgeous very cold but sunny day. Enzo five months today too. We drove around to Beth's place with some presents, and then we all drove off to Drusillas where we spent a few hours wandering about looking at creatures, and having a bit of a laugh. Enzo good as gold. Beth did very well and was feeling fairly okay. She has been amazingly resilient. We are all yearly members of Drusillas now, which means we can go as often as we choose. There's a little restaurant there too, and we scarfed baked potatoes, which on a cold day were a winner Home to Seaford. Lorraine and I drove straight to Maureen and Pat's house, as Pat had slipped out of his armchair onto the floor. We lifted him up again after some careful planning. I managed to pull my arm somehow in the process. Maureen a bit upset that she had just nodded off for a doze and woke to find him at her feet.  Lorraine and I did some shopping in Morrisons, then cooked a simple pasta dish for Beth and James ...

Beth and James at hospital all morning, with Enzo. Beth had lots of tests but has been released back into the wild, thank goodness. Didn't do my 10k paces today, and frankly felt a bit better for it. A peaceful day for me. Sylwia here this morning. I fiddled about doing a bit of writing. I also uploaded the photos of the Stone Age tool I discovered on a Facebook page devoted to that sort of thing. One expert said it was simply a stone, another regular poster called that into question. Learnt a new phrase today... Bulb of Percussion, a telltale sign that a stone has been hit and worked.   In the evening off to Steve's house, for the reading of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew . A delightful evening, and a fun play to read, although deeply problematic from a feminist perspective. We read it through, and then ate the delicious venison casserole Steve had cooked. A cheery evening, that manages to be both a good laugh with some mates, but also improving at the same time. Lorrai...

A cold start, and off to Edgware this morning. I discovered on the train that when I plugged in my laptop to recharge overnight, I failed to turn the switch on. I needed it to sort some things out for Mum. Feeling drained and depressed on the train, and was irritable all day. Once in Edgware and was walking towards Mum's place, it made me think of being in Edgware in my twenties, when times were colder. A chat with Rupa and Wynford, and Wynford's sister Linda. They are taking Mum to the pub tomorrow.  Mum drove us off to The Waggon. We met Steve there, who had kindly helped mum understand her tax form last week, and has set her up on the Government Gateway. However, this means that the authentication code to enter the Government Gateway is sent to Steve. I was unable to change Steve's number to mine in Mum's profile, as when I accessed it on my phone, I selected stay signed in for seven days. So I will have to trouble Steve again. However I bought him a large wine to th...

A gorgeous, frosty sunny morning in Seaford. Coffee this morning with Yvonne at Grumpy's cafe. Lots to discuss, then I strolled along the sea afterwards; a gorgeous sunny day. Lorraine off to her personal trainer, and getting some acupuncture. It seems to be helping her lots with knee pain in the night. To the dentist is afternoon. Coílín her usual sweet self, asked how Brian was straight off the bat, and I had to tell her he was in cat heaven, apart from a bit of a scrape and clean however me 'ampsteads are serviceable. Coílín asking me if I clamp my teeth while concentrating. I said I'm more of a drooler than a tooth grinder while asleep. In a first for me, I almost fell asleep while my teeth were being scraped. Walked home along the seaside, as the sun as lowering.  When Lorraine home from Pat and Maureen's place, we ate up our plated up dinners from last night, and we are speeding through watching the Star Trek series  Strange New Worlds , which is on ITVX, which is...

Up late this morning, breakfast then Lorraine did a spot of gardening. I stowed and cleaned the barbecue, a messy business. Steve called from the Waggon and Horses, as mum had taken her most recent tax letter to him to translate. Will pop up next week to see Mum and see Steve.  Afternoon, I went for a walk, bumping into Kate from life drawing, who had just done a portrait painting of Adele this morning. By chance Adele had sent it to me this morning, a strong resemblance and Patrick thinks it has captured her essence. She wondered if I fancied having mine done by her too. People tell me I'm no oil painting, but what if I were? Have been listening to a Great Lectures audiobook about the Occult. A series of lectures. It is superficial and is full of mistakes. I gave it a couple of hours. When it completely missed the point about how the I Ching works, I checked out. A bit tired after my walk, and boofed onto the gold sofa feeling drained and a little joyless.  Then to Stratheden...

Up early, as Lorraine had to take Beth to hospital. Poor thing has had an infected gall bladder as well as gallstones. An eventful earlyish walk.  Picked up a dozen or so pine cones from Seaford cemetery. Two workmen nearby looking at me as if I were crazy. A glance at poems this morning choosing one to show and tell in the Understory Conversation this afternoon. Emma shared a deft and wonderful piece of writing, weaving something unusual out of old family photos. Reading it was effortless. I feel on the other end of the sale, but good to have a sympathetic forum to share feelings of writerly gloom. Lorraine and I did a quick scoot in Morrisons. Home and I cooked.  Below, on my walk I found what I think maybe an ancient stone tool by the side of a field. I will show it to someone sensible online, but it fit my left hand very well and seemed to have a serrated worked edge. Also a photo of rape seed flowers in a field, holding the camera at knee level. 

A poor night's sleep. Woke up in the middle of the night certain that I had wasted my whole life writing poetry; that I had invented a machine to invite continuous rejection and failure into my life. Got up and had a cup of chamomile and asked the I Ching if I should just give it up. The hexagrams of my reading were  Treading  changing to The Creative. Essentially that I should not be foolhardy in my conduct and suggesting a time of creativity is coming, which cheered me up. I don't consult the I Ching often, but given that there are 4,096 possible readings to every consultation the fact that it always seems to supply such a precise and pertinent answer seems statistically improbable. I always come away from reading it as if I have had a dose of wisdom and feel generally much more philosophical about life. Back to bed, then up early and Lorraine drove to the flat and I followed shortly after on foot. Various people round today to check on Pat. Paramedics where there, as ...

Woke up in the spare room this morning, with Lorraine coming in to say hello. The baby slept like a baby last night, and Beth did too, and had colour in her cheeks this morning. Enzo adorable this morning, Lorraine getting in some cuddles with him, before driving them home then went on to see Pat and Maureen, and work her way through a long list of to-dos.  I had intended to submit a completed manuscript for a poetry competition, as today is the deadline but last week's illness put the kibosh on that. In a selva oscura  with my writing, and thinking about it just makes me feel hopeless. So... If in doubt tidy up. So I tidied up for hours, did laundry, shopped, cooked, and swept up the muddy clods of moss which accumulate outside our front door have been chucked off our roof by the pesky returning seagulls.  Went for a walk in a break in the rain.  Carl called, as I am hoping to visit him soon, and was talking about a night out in Liverpool. What could go wrong? Also ...

James drove Beth off to A&E this morning, with really bad stomach pains. It's a thing Beth has had a couple of times since pregnancy, which may be gallstones. She was released later in the day having had lots of tests, lots of painkillers.  So we had a day with Enzo. Shortly after Maureen called to say Pat had slipped out of bed again, but luckily the carers were just about to come. They made him comfortable, but paramedics had to come later to lift him back into bed. The bed is adjustable, and is low, and Lorraine had put lots of our little flat cushions on the floor, so Pat is literally cushioned if he should slip out. Ezno, and seemed completely happy to be with us. Lorraine is absolutely brilliant with him, and I loved playing with him, and he seems quite relaxed with me too which is nice. Having had little exposure to babies, they are far more interesting and loveable than I imagined. He is responding to the world now, and chuckling and smiling, especially at Lorraine, esp...

A late breakfast, drinking out of my Best Grandad in the World mug. I have yet to earn this accolade, but it's a lovely thought.   Lorraine caring for Pat and Maureen much of the day. I walked my bare minimum, which is ten thousand paces, then cooked one of my very herby chicken stews which turned out excellently. Also read a bit of Arthur Machen and contemplated my failures as a writer of poetry.  Another trip to Pat and Maureen in the evening, as Pat was a bit agitated. Home again and we discovered some sloe gin from last year, and had a nip of it. Wondered who had given it to us, until Lorraine said the writing on the label was her own. It was like a delayed present to ourselves. Watched some of Match of the Day, and repaired to bed. Chelsea won at least. Lorraine taking on so much at the moment, and I worry about her.  

Felt significantly improved, after a good night's sleep. Have more energy, and the gloom with this bug has also lifted. Managed a walk this morning, walking into town with Lorraine, who had to collect antibiotics for Pat. I went on to walk along by the sea, which was lovely and enlivening. Dramatic skies, and I snapped the shot below of some hardy swimmers clambering out of the sea after being in the little sauna on the seafront.  Spoke to Anton and Mum. Home and having finished my Arthur Machen book, took delivery of another one, The Great God Pan and Other Horror Stories, published by Oxford Classics. There is some duplication, of stories with the other anthology, but this has some key stories Penguin's  The White People didn't contain.  Also delivered were new walking boots, again I used Chat GPT to request the best walking boots for people with overpronation, and it suggested a reasonably priced pair from Merrell, who I've had two lots of shoes from before. But the...

Up in the night, as Pat had slid out of bed again. We drove around, and we pulled him back into bed. I experienced a bit of a sense of humour failure having to drag myself out of bed in high alarm at two o'clock.  We weren't there long, and apart from the lifting from the floor I kept to the other room not wanting to share my lurgy. Home and nerves still jangling, we found it hard to go back to sleep. Tired all day from the night's shenanigans, but I felt like I had more life about me. Had to miss the final drawing class of the year. But I felt that I was Turning The Corner. So much so that I walked in the garden and once around the block, which by the time I got home was quite enough. I dozed and read Arthur Machen all day, and really enjoying it.  Beth and James took Maureen and a friend to see Fiddler on the Roof. Maureen absolutely loved it, and it was a much needed-break for her. Derek and Jason spent the day with Pat, and they are zooming off first thing tomorrow. A b...