under another sun

From time to time ambushed by sadness about Calliope. Lots of nice messages from people about Calliope, including from Romy just before bed last night. Had that sort of emotional tiredness today, just shattered this afternoon.  Otherwise a pleasant indoorsy sort of day, although Lorraine and I walked to Morrisons after having a quick scoot about the market. A bit disappointing. A bit niche, a stand of dog bones and chews.  Nice to see Beth this evening for a few minutes. In the evening, Lorraine and I assembled two Christmas trees and decorated them and this was nice and festive. White lights for the one in the dining room, and colours for the living room. Also Lorraine doing lots of cooking in preparation for Catherine, Tanya, Guy and Tim coming around tomorrow.  Otherwise I wanted to hide really, and watched Frasier, and Match of the Day this evening.  

Calliope died today. She had continued to be very unwell and Lorraine and I decided she should go back to the vet. I had to go into Brighton by car with Adele and Jane. Lorraine kindly took Calliope to the vet, because I couldn't really face this, and then called me. We took the decision to put her down. Lorraine called me to confirm this was okay this just as Adele's car reached Brighton.   Met the glassmates in a Thai restaurant very close to the Pavilion Gardens. Ben, Rick, Sally, Frances and Kate met us there. Felt a bit unreal, although nice to see them. Lorraine called me after an hour or so and said she had been with Calliope when it was done, and she had been sedated first and fell immediately to sleep before the injection was given.  Relieved that the meal was over. I jumped on a 12 bus, sit at the front upstairs and let the tears flow. In a way I was prepared a bit for this, as I was convinced she was dying a couple of weeks ago, but I am heartbroken.   In the e...

 Off to see Bob in London today. We met under Nelson's column as usual. While waiting I noticed that   Whitehall was jammed with a hundred tractors jamming the road as the farmer's protested inheritance tax changes. Met Bob and it was a fine thing to see him. We spent the day mooching about between cafes, and had some food in Wagamama's and popped into Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese and Ye Olde Mitre, historic old pubs to suit us venerable old chaps. But we were extremely restrained with the drinking. Mainly we spent the day talking and catching up. Bob lost his mother fairly recently and is obviously still processing this. His daughter is doing very well at university, and was producing and directing a student pantomime. Lovely to see how proud he is of Milly. We ended up in a noisy bar, full of people fresh from work and barking loudly at each other, and music playing really loudly. It actually made me feel stressed, straining to hear what Bob was saying and so on. Times have ch...

Up having slept well in our own beds. Lorraine off to her personal trainer and then went to see Pat and Maureen. I phoned Mum, doing a smidge of writing, then going to the gym. A day of finding my feet again and deeply happy not to be on a train. Went to the doctor's surgery and booked a shingles jab, seeing as they are free for coves of my vintage. Going to the gym was good, but generally my batteries are vey low at the moment. I did some shopping in Morrisons and cooked for Lorraine and I. A quiet night in. Toby called, and he and Romy are off to Japan shortly, and then to Bali. 

Up and getting packed, then Jade collected us and took us to Leuchars station. Fond farewells, and Lorraine spoke to Sam on the phone. A long journey home, but fairly easy till Lewes, where the Seaford train didn't wait for the London commuters to get to the platform, then there were numpties trespassing on the line, so trains were being cancelled and so on. I read more of How to think like a poet  as Robin and I are going to interview its author Dai George on Thursday. We also ate cold macaroni pies on the train which Sam had bought the day before.  Home -- a blessed relief -- and beans on toast and a sit on the gold sofa with cats.

Collected bright and early by Jade and Sam. A cold day and were driven north for two and a half hours to Aviemore in the Cairngorms. Quite amazing to be driven along through a great -- to Sassenach eyes -- empty landscape forested with bleak snow capped mountains. Loved it and I had never seen this part of Scotland before. We reached Aviemore where Jade had booked us all on a steam train ride. We clambered aboard and it was a Santa Special, so had Santa and a host of naughty elves cavorting through the coaches. There were lots of kids on the ride, for obvious reasons.  Our first elf was called Crackers, a male elf, a bit extra and ebullient, who took a shine to Sam. Then there were women elves hiding and leaping about running up and down the aisle while shouting, and exciting the children no end. Then there was a magician style elf, and finally a rather quiet Santa whispering to children about Christmas. Meanwhile the steam from the train hung low among the trees, and the whole thi...

A slow morning, Lorraine busy doing crochet and me doing a bit of writing. Sam working today. We then were collected by Jade and driven off to nearby Pittenweem where there were some small art exhibitions. There met, Mog and Jerome, Mog's parents Peter and Shelagh, and colleagues of Jade and Mog... A philosopher called Mara, and a really pleasant guy called Graham, who is an Earth Scientist working with stuff to do with oceans. We all piled into a cafe where we got excellent hot chocolate and snacks. Then we all were invited down to Graham's new home where we had cups of tea, and Jade, Mara and Mog did a major survey of Graham's new dwelling. Then we all did, squeezing up a very narrow flight of stairs hidden behind a cupboard door into a third floor. Then Jade drove us home, and she began cooking, and Lorraine and I relaxed in Burnside cottage. The evening, Lorraine and I toddled off to The Big House, where we had jolly good evening with 'the commune', hosted by Je...

While springing out of bed at 9:30 making Lorraine and I tea at Burnside Cottage, I got the migraine spangles and had quite a wussy morning. We had a nice breakfast and I went back to bed. However, we zoomed off to catch a bus to St. Andrews at 1:30. It was steamy upstairs, and full of incredibly well behaved school kids.We had pleasant afternoon's lurk in St Andrews, and popped into the Gorgeous Cafe for cups of tea and two panini,  and looked in the wonderful bookshop, but this time nothing insisted it was worth carrying back to Seaford. Later had a cheeky coffee in a student filled bookshop. After dark and Jade had finished work she drove us straight to Anstruther. We hurried through the rain to the Bank, where Sam was being a magnificent barman, looking commanding and very handsome and his gym work paying off. Had a couple of drinks there, catching up with Jade before we said goodbye to Sam and made off to The Wee Chippy, for excellent fish and chips. It looks quite wee on the ...

Burnside Cottage is lovely, and the bed quite comfortable in a soft way, despite that I had a poor night's sleep. Lots of anxious dreams. A call first thing that one of Lorraine's aunts had died. So a bit of messaging, and Lorraine having to tell Maureen. We lifted the blinds shortly after dawn, which is later here, and opposite everything looked golden with lovely low light.  However improved once up and breakfasted. I spent the morning working on the Kenniad, Lorraine lurked with Sam.  I went for a bit of a walk with my camera but by then the sky was grey and all colour had leached away from the wee village of Kilrenny we were staying in. I went round to Sam's as he was leaving to gallop off to work and Lorraine and I walked to Anstruther. We passed Sam, visible for miles in his day glow uniform, talking to little children as they crossed. The job has quite a bit of responsibility on that busy road, Sam naturally takes his responsibilities entirely seriously. Lorraine try...

To Scotland. Trundled our little wheely cases onto the train at Seaford then St Pancras via Brighton, and the long journey up to Leuchars station in Fife from St Pancras. This last bit quite pleasant, sitting opposite one another. I finished two books on the journey, Clear a short novel by Carys Davies that Dawn and Paul had given me, which was set against the clearances in Scotland. Lorraine and people in her book group had read it and liked it. I thought it was pretty good, but a bit clunky. I also read Feline Philosophy , a book by John Gray that Catherine and Tanya got me, about the philosophical differences between cats and people, and what we can learn by how they go about things.  Arrived in Leuchars in the dark and teeming rain. We stood in the carpark, where Jade arrived almost instantly, and drove us through St Andrews, then onto Kilrenny. We dropped our stuff at the wee cottage we had rented called Burnside Cottage, on a kind of twitten called Routine Row. All very nice....

A very poor night's sleep. I had woken up from a light doze in the middle of the night in tears certain that Calliope had died. Lorraine got up and checked, but she was okay. First thing in the morning she seemed fine. Our plan was to drive up to see Mum, but then she began to be distressed again, and we decided to take her, and pay through the nose, for the emergency vet.  Brian and Calliope's emergencies have both happened on a Sunday, which is a bit vexing. Lorraine drove us to Eastbourne a lovely drive, to a pleasant vets surgery. Calliope clearly unwell, as she had no strength for the usual car howling. She gave her an anti-inflammatory injection, saying the symptoms sounded like feline cystitis. She also examined her and poked her bladder and so on, all of which Calliope took philosophically though she did hiss when the rectal thermometer was inserted. Home again and she brightened up a bit over the day. The vet says old cats rarely get cystitis unless there is a cancer p...